Where is the line drawn regarding online social interactions and off-duty social activities between junior and senior enlisted personnel?

2014-12-31T04:42:14-05:00

Soldiers of all ranks meet and associate with each other in many settings, both on and off duty.

Still early in my career, I've become accustomed to viewing my NCO's and higher-ups as my "bosses", "superiors", "managers", and/or "supervisors". I try to maintain professionalism and respect both on and off duty which for the most part includes avoiding interactions online via social media as well as casual outings that may arise.

Where is the line drawn, if any (other than fraternization/close relationships), between junior and senior enlisted military personnel when it comes to *non-professional social networking sites (e.g. Facebook) and non-work related activities (e.g. parties, going to the bar, going out to eat, other social gatherings, etc.)?

I appreciate your responses in advance.

(*Labeling a difference between professional social networking sites [e.g. LinkedIn, Rallypoint] and non-professional sites [Facebook, Instagram, Myspace, etc.])

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 3 at 2015 7:41 PM

2015-01-03T19:41:16-05:00

There are some helpful remarks in this thread (even though the main topic is RC): https://www.rallypoint.com/answers/fraternization-and-the-reserves-where-is-the-line

I disagree with "friending" co-workers on FB. All of my military "friends" are actually friends and I do not currently serve with any of them. My civilian boss kind of manipulated me into "friending" him. A few weeks later, I posted about the thermostat on my stove being broken and wanting to by a new stove and he commented that I certainly had the tech skills to fix it and sent me the documentation...next thing you know, my mom is in it (picture Jewish mom talking about her so smart little girl)...with my boss...I was wishing for death.

Fraternization and the Reserves - Where is the line? | RallyPoint

This question may very well apply to Active Duty as well, as it leads to some larger ones of, "What actually constitutes fraternization / what is the intent?"However, I address the larger issue to the Reserve components. When a Reserve Servicemember is only "on duty" one weekend a month, can you expect the same fraternization policies? More specifically, what if two people share a civilian work relationship, but also a military reservist one?...

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 3 at 2015 7:52 PM

2015-01-03T19:52:21-05:00

You should look at your NCO, SNCO and officers as your boss (superiors) because they are. Yes as a SNCO I have went to the bar with junior enlisted and NCO's. But I went to keep an eye on them and make sure they all came home. Some folks will promote faster then others and friends will still so be friends. So it is impossible in my opinion for the military to think that folks will not still socialize. So a Sgt can be friends with a PFC and socialize off duty. But things should still be kept on a professional side. That way there should be no insinuation of favoritism (hopefully). As for social media sure glad I didn't have to deal with that very long.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 3 at 2015 9:05 PM

2015-01-03T21:05:22-05:00

I was always told that if a leader does it for one Soldier in their tm/sqd/plt, they do it for all Soldiers in their tm/sqd/plt. So if a sqd leader invites one of his sqd members to a cookout, it's only fair to invite the whole squad even though not all may show up. I for one as a married NCO I always make it point to invite the single Soldiers over for Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner if they aren't planning to go home.

But when leaders let the lines of friend vs. leader become blurred it has crossed the line.

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 3 at 2015 9:30 PM

2015-01-03T21:30:32-05:00

I am friends with most of my units senior NCOs on Facebook. But I have known most of them my entire career and we share common interests. Three of my friends include the 1SG, a SFC and a former 1SG. We share running as an interest and use Facebook to keep up with each others training. We keep it professional most of the time, with a few jokes here and there. I do think it is a fine line and I am careful not to jeopardize my career, their career and the image of my unit.

Response by CSM Michael J. Uhlig made Jan 3 at 2015 10:13 PM

2015-01-03T22:13:14-05:00

Business is business, don't get business confused with personal and you will be fine.

Response by 1SG Cameron M. Wesson made Jan 4 at 2015 12:00 AM

2015-01-04T00:00:35-05:00

My opinion... In the 80's... Yes I'm a dinosaur... The relationship that I had with many of my NCOs would today be called fraternization. As a CPL, my 1SG and PSG and I at Fort Campbell would go fishing. Let me tell you about some incredible mentorship. That included going to the NCO club after hours. At no time did I ever forget who the were. They were my leaders and I knew that if I violated the trust they were showing me it was over... I never violated the trust. Same thing applied years later as a SNCO with the officers. We would go out... This time it wasn't me getting the mentorship... They viewed me as a trusted "peer" with regards the KSAs and would "pick my brain".... Subordinate mentorship if you will. I did the same for my soldiers and NCOs... While others may see a challenge to these relationships... I never experienced that... Both male and female. A few times there was resentment... But I handled that.. As you will.

As for social media... IMO...same rules apply. Though I do not ask subordinates for " connections" I accept each of their friend requests. However, I only post professionally. I stay away from many topics? Why? trolls! Just don't need the drama and self inflicted gunshot wounds are unpleasant... So I don't do it. At the same time if I see an employee post something that is questionable... I can shoot them a note and advise them... Taking care of people.

Case in point I had an employee once share info about another employee that was really not their's to share. Another time an officer posted something about the CIC, again... Not appropriate... And one time I got a soldier some vhelp they needed as their wife had just died of cancer and were struggling. Again...all positive in my mind.

It comes down to this. If you are a leader who wants to look after their subordinates... Social media can be a great asset. However its a tool and nothing else... And nothing beats face to face relationships. Nothing!

Response by CPL Cuyler Anderson made Jan 4 at 2015 10:59 AM

2015-01-04T10:59:52-05:00

After watching several NCOs form relationships with their female soldiers, I think it should be forbidden. But too many are ignored by the good ole boy network.

Response by CDR Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 20 at 2015 8:53 PM

2015-04-20T20:53:30-04:00

Personally, I think that any "friendship" between a supervisor and subordinate will always have the perception of a problem to others even if you think you are separating work and friendship. Now, I've hit the beach as an O-3 with an E-5 because my command wanted everyone to have a "liberty buddy" and we were the only ones who were going to a certain place. But I wouldn't have done the same thing when we were back in our home port, even though we probably would have had a good time.