Where does one go, if possible, to find a fellow vet's separation details or their full DD-214?

SPC Jacob Viano — Thu, 24 Oct 2019 21:57:05 -0400

I’ve started dating a gal and suspect that she may have separated under less than ideal conditions and isn’t telling me the whole truth. Before I go any farther with a relationship, is there a way for me to search whether or not her story checks out? She was an Army admin AD for 2years.

Response by LTC Jason Mackay made Oct 24 at 2019 10:17 PM

LTC Jason Mackay — Thu, 24 Oct 2019 22:17:38 -0400

SPC Jacob Viano You can't get her DD214 unless you are NOK and she is deceased. You can go to NPRC and request a publicly releasable confirmation of service. It will let you know if they served, how long, and I believe discharge type.

If this is something serious, recommend you talk about it with her. If this isn't serious and your Spidey senses are tingling already, recommend you cut your losses.

Understand this from her perspective, if she got chaptered and has a less than favorable discharge, I am sure It was not the highlight of her life and she is likely not too proud of it. Maybe she learned the hard way and is better for it. Maybe she is just faking the funk on being a functional adult because she likes you. Who knows. Trust your gut.

https://www.archives.gov/personnel-records-center/foia-info

foia-info

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Oct 24 at 2019 10:47 PM

CSM Charles Hayden — Thu, 24 Oct 2019 22:47:02 -0400

Why not simply ask to see her 214?@SPC Jacob Viano Ain’t nothin like being upfront. Sometime the reaction to the question tells all!

Response by TSgt David Holman made Oct 25 at 2019 12:18 AM

TSgt David Holman — Fri, 25 Oct 2019 00:18:52 -0400

BLUF, if you don't believe that her story is checking out, and this is an issue for you, cut the string. If it is bothering you this much at this point, then it is only going to get worse.

Response by MSgt Michael Smith made Oct 25 at 2019 9:44 AM

MSgt Michael Smith — Fri, 25 Oct 2019 09:44:11 -0400

Dude! Mistrust and spying are always great ways to begin a healthy relationship!

Response by CPL Gary Pifer made Oct 25 at 2019 12:15 PM

CPL Gary Pifer — Fri, 25 Oct 2019 12:15:15 -0400

Ask if she has VA benefits

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 25 at 2019 12:18 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 25 Oct 2019 12:18:13 -0400

The fact she said two years should be a red flag. Not that there are/were no two year enlistments, they're just very uncommon and there was only a short period of time they were common and even then they were only given to certain MOSs. Usually the ones in high demand like infantry. Two years as S1 would be an indication that she separated early.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 25 at 2019 12:25 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 25 Oct 2019 12:25:00 -0400

Maybe she doesn't believe she owes you an explanation at this point.
If you don't like the type or characterization of her separation?
I suggest that any covert investigation may have the effect of ending the relationship, regardless of the outcome. Unless, of course, you're going to conceal you sought her information if you're satisfied with the reason and character
separation.
Be upfront, and ask.

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 8 at 2021 8:39 PM

CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 08 Jan 2021 20:39:17 -0500

Starting a relationship with trust issues is not too good. I don't blame you, but asking her would be a good start.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 15 at 2021 12:41 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 15 Jan 2021 12:41:40 -0500

Why is it men want a full disclosure of a woman's background yet never offer up the same.

Response by SFC Kelly Fuerhoff made Jan 15 at 2021 12:58 PM

SFC Kelly Fuerhoff — Fri, 15 Jan 2021 12:58:55 -0500

Just walk away. She doesn't have to tell you anything. If you already have mistrust end it.