When you realize your kids are in their 30s and do not want to get married because you are so dear to them, what do you do?

PO3 Phyllis Maynard — Sat, 21 Dec 2019 11:21:20 -0500

After many years of hardships, my son and I are a close knit family. Once he could not wait to get out of my presence and declared he would never marry a woman like me. Time has zoomed by and he is still telling me when my health is better he will do some things. I am fine; I have Auron. He has his own life, a college degree, his own money, a steady job, good coworkers, the few friends he chooses are nice people, so RP parents, what is his dilemma?

Response by TSgt George Rodriguez made Dec 21 at 2019 11:32 AM

TSgt George Rodriguez — Sat, 21 Dec 2019 11:32:21 -0500

A mother figure. A mother hen that when he was growing up smothered him. His need to find a woman that won't smother him.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Dec 21 at 2019 11:53 AM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Sat, 21 Dec 2019 11:53:56 -0500

Your his anchor in life, so he doesn't want to lose th

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 21 at 2019 12:00 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 21 Dec 2019 12:00:46 -0500

You have to stop being that safe spot in his life. Now that he's an adult you have to move that relationship away from mother/son and towards something more like friend/mentor. In order to do that you have to have your own life, lifestyle, activities that you share just between you and your significant other. Basically, you have to freeze him out a bit. And of course, his own place.

If you've done all that, it's not you, it's him. He doesn't want to get married and you're a convenient excuse why. Maybe he's gay, maybe he's asexual, Mayne he's scared to death of losing half his wealth in a divorce.

Response by Cpl Jeff N. made Dec 21 at 2019 3:26 PM

Cpl Jeff N. — Sat, 21 Dec 2019 15:26:20 -0500

Time to push him out of his comfort zone and out of the nest. He needs to start his own life and give you some grandchildren as well. Him staying at home is only allowing him to dither his life away. This will not serve either of you well.

Response by SPC Stewart Smith made Dec 22 at 2019 12:37 AM

SPC Stewart Smith — Sun, 22 Dec 2019 00:37:34 -0500

You are not responsible for his actions.
Perhaps he doesn't want to get married. I'm 32 and not married. I do not plan to get married. I do not want to get married. I do not see a point in marriage.