When Did Sir or Ma'am become a bad word?

PO2 Corey Ferretti — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 18:07:44 -0500

Today my boss told me i can no longer say Sir or Ma'am it is disrespectful and only used when your not educated enough for other words. He said only when your using it honestly is it ok. I alwasy use it honestly and dont use it when i am being disrespetful.

Response by PO1 Michael G. made Nov 17 at 2014 6:46 PM

PO1 Michael G. — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 18:46:07 -0500

PO2 Corey Ferretti I honestly don't understand that. It was something that bothered me sometimes before I joined the Navy that the world seems to want to be on a first name basis with everyone. Honestly, I'm not that close with the world at large.

I used to sell men's clothing and if I had a customer who was over the age of 50, I wouldn't call him "Bob," it would be "sir" or "Mr. Bob." Then again, I was also a Navy brat and my dad made it perfectly clear that "sir" and "ma'am" are the way to address elders and superiors.

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 17 at 2014 7:01 PM

CW5 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 19:01:29 -0500

Like PO1 Michael G., I don't exactly get this disrespectful use of sir or ma'am, PO2 Corey Ferretti. I was not raised in the south (where sir and ma'am seem to be even more prevalent), but I was "raised" in the military, and when speaking to officers, I can't imagine a circumstance when it would be disrespectful to call officers sir or ma'am. Disrespectful tone? Sure. But the words themselves? You'll have to enlighten me, cause I don't get it.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 17 at 2014 7:08 PM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 19:08:51 -0500

I'll have to say I'm not sure of the who, what, where this type of usage is happening. Perhaps a bit more information on the circumstances?

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 17 at 2014 7:19 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 19:19:49 -0500

How in the world is that disrespectful??? What does he want to be called "bro"? or "dude"? That is ridiculous...sir...lol

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 17 at 2014 9:49 PM

PO2 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 21:49:31 -0500

I was raised to use these words to show respect for a person's age, and/or their wisdom/knowledge. I am ALWAYS very respectful. I respect folks untel they lose my respect.

Response by SCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 17 at 2014 10:31 PM

SCPO Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 17 Nov 2014 22:31:35 -0500

PO2 Corey Ferretti You have got to be kidding me. You may be being the biggest ass to me and I am still going to say Ma'am or Sir. I do not think it is ever disrespectful.

Response by SFC Dave Joslin made Nov 18 at 2014 7:28 PM

SFC Dave Joslin — Tue, 18 Nov 2014 19:28:55 -0500

Yeah, I have found this to be sort of funny as well. I report directly to our Operations VP, and on conference calls when I am given a directive I still respond with "Yes, Sir!" It's caused a few snickers and comments - he has thanked me off line for the gesture at respect. He understands that although the Soldier left the Army, the Army will never leave the Soldier!

Response by GySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 18 at 2014 7:30 PM

GySgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 18 Nov 2014 19:30:53 -0500

Must be a Navy thing.

Response by COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM made Nov 20 at 2014 4:24 PM

COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM — Thu, 20 Nov 2014 16:24:52 -0500

99% disagree with your boss for several different reasons:
- Professional. Using Sir or Ma'am is a sign of a professional (reflects on yourself).
- Respect. Using Sir/Ma'am is an expression of respect for a senior in age or position (reflects on the senior).
- Etiquette. Sir or Ma'am was old school etiquette. Evidently not any more for your boss.
- Example. Use of Sir/Ma'am sets an excellent example for young kids and teenagers.
The only reason I would agree with your boss is that (implied) your boss does not want you to address him/her with this salutation. In other words I disagree with your boss but would give your boss what he/she wants.