What was the hardest thing that you ever did for your parents?

Sgt David G Duchesneau — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 16:01:24 -0400

My dad, who was also a SSgt in the Marine Corps during WWII passed away 8 years ago today. He was a Fire Chief and his wishes were to have a Military Funeral. The hardest thing that I ever did for him was that I played Taps at his Funeral. I can tell you that I cried like a baby! That was a rough day that I will never forget. Rest in peace Dad! I think of you everyday . I love you!

Response by 1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 13 at 2015 4:05 PM

1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 16:05:44 -0400

Presented my Mother with the casket flag of my Grandfather at his funeral.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 13 at 2015 4:30 PM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 16:30:16 -0400

Sgt David G Duchesneau I am sure that was very tough. But, it was an outstanding way to show your honor.

Response by SFC William Swartz Jr made Oct 13 at 2015 4:30 PM

SFC William Swartz Jr — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 16:30:47 -0400

My brother, an Army vet, and I presented the flag from my stepfather's casket to my mother, he was an Air Force vet and passed away unexpectedly at 46. I had done plenty of funeral details before, but presenting the flag and uttering the words was the hardest thing I have ever done to this point in my life.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 13 at 2015 4:35 PM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 16:35:29 -0400

For me it was telling them that our daughter did not make it. Shot of straight whiskey, phone call. Another shot another call until all were notified.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 13 at 2015 4:52 PM

PO2 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 16:52:04 -0400

Sir, I couldn't tell you how many military funerals I've been apart of, folding the flag, playing taps or firing the rifles. Now I go to these details, as we call them in Honor Guard, without ever having known the servicemen and women I'm honoring, and I find that quite the burden to bear. Never could I imagine the grief associated with playing Taps at a relative's funeral. The hardest thing I've ever done was carry my mother's casket to her final resting place. Lord knows that was hard, but there's definitely a whole new level of sadness brought on by that song. I do not look forward to ever having to do that for a relative, which I have a few distant ones in the Marine Corps and Navy. But if it comes to that time, I would want to be the one folding that flag. Props to you, Sir, for performing that honor for your dad.

Response by SPC David S. made Oct 13 at 2015 4:53 PM

SPC David S. — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 16:53:46 -0400

While we are taught to stand like soldiers nothing wrong with a few tears - or a bunch. What a way to honor your father.

Response by CSM Michael J. Uhlig made Oct 13 at 2015 4:57 PM

CSM Michael J. Uhlig — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 16:57:10 -0400

Saying goodbye to my mother in 1989, she was taken way too early from this earth by Leukemia. She was the most giving person I have ever met, her loss left a void in me to this day that longs to see her again. Her death is what led to me completely falling in love with our Army. I was a newly promoted SPC in 1988 in Pirmasens, Germany when she was diagnosed, I was given emergency leave and then the unit followed up to ensure I received a compassionate reassignment and was able to spend the last six months with her. Her brother and all seven of her sisters were there the night she passed away, they told me they had voted and decided they would not allow the doctor to revive her if she looses her vitals again, it was my mother and I yelled at them that they did not have the right to do that and that they would not dare do that to my momma. I stayed at her side for the next five days, I left to go home and she expected me to be back within a couple hours. While I was gone, she passed away. Her loss left me with a feeling of missing something, my momma....the hardest thing I did was saying goodbye.

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Oct 13 at 2015 5:59 PM

LTC Stephen F. — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 17:59:57 -0400

Sgt David G Duchesneau I was the last one to see my father alive on October 8, 1995 as I drove back home from Philadelphia to northern Virginia I expected it would be the last time I saw him alive. He died over the weekend and his body was found by the police after nobody answered the door.
Six years later, I closed my mothers eyes after she died in a nursing home in Olney, Maryland in September, 2001. She had been suffering from Alzheimer's disease for 20 years and hadn't spoken for 6 years. I sat with her body until daylight and then drove to Fort Belvoir for my pre-mobilization physical which I passed [18 months later I had mitral valve repair surgery at Walter Reed Army Medical Center]
The ashes of both of may parents are contained in a double urn on the top of the shelves where my daily medicines are stored. One of my duties is to watch over my parents remains. I know nothing can happen to them at this point but it is a sacred honor.

Response by CPT Jack Durish made Oct 13 at 2015 6:59 PM

CPT Jack Durish — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 18:59:00 -0400

Now here's a question that will cause a few tears to flow in most. Not me. I never had to worry about disappointing my father. He would have been disappointed regardless of what I did. So, I guess I'm left with just one event: The day I "buried" my father. He was cremated and his ashes sat in my garage for three months while I waited decent weather to bury him at sea. The mortuary returned the ashes in the wrong kind of container despite the fact that I clearly stated that they were going to be spread at sea. Inasmuch as no one wanted to attend his funeral, it came down to my brother-in-law and I to do the deed without witnesses. (He wanted to go whale watching and thus I was able to force him into it) Well, I couldn't open the container and when I tossed it overboard it floated. We drifted off while I searched for something to reach and recover it. Thus, for all I know, he's still floating somewhere in the Pacific. So if you come across a copper box some day at the beach, I'm sure you'll hear someone inside saying "He couldn't even do that right"

Response by Capt Mark Strobl made Oct 13 at 2015 7:00 PM

Capt Mark Strobl — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 19:00:44 -0400

Gave the eulogy at my father's memorial. He was a Lance Corporal and a retired firefighter. Every fire-fighter & police officer in the crowd had a radio. I held it together right up to the point that dispatch sounded "Robert Strobl, Final Call."

Sgt David G Duchesneau, When relieved of watch over Heaven's Streets, I'd like to think your father & mine are swappin' sea-stories over a cold one in a slop-chute staffed by angels.

Response by Sgt Spencer Sikder made Oct 13 at 2015 8:01 PM

Sgt Spencer Sikder — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 20:01:30 -0400

Your story made my eye balls sweat. What a great tribute to your Dad!

Response by SrA Matthew Knight made Oct 14 at 2015 2:27 AM

SrA Matthew Knight — Wed, 14 Oct 2015 02:27:34 -0400

For my parents I haven't had to do anything I would consider difficult really.

For my grandparents, or more specifically my grandmother I received my grandfather's flag from the honor guard, got down on one knee and gave her a very tearful short speech and then stood up and saluted flanked by two family friends who were prior military, all of us in full service dress. This was the day after my promotion to SrA and the first time I wore those stripes and my newest medal knowing that he would have wanted to see me with them. That was probably one of the hardest things I have done in my whole life and thinking about doing it is still causing me to start to tear up.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Oct 16 at 2015 6:00 PM

CSM Charles Hayden — Fri, 16 Oct 2015 18:00:09 -0400

Sgt David G Duchesneau How nice a farewell to your father. Yep, I can imagine the sorrow also!

Response by PVT Robert Gresham made Oct 17 at 2015 12:16 AM

PVT Robert Gresham — Sat, 17 Oct 2015 00:16:35 -0400

Sgt David G Duchesneau I left the house on my eighteenth birthday. I love my parents deeply, but I cannot, in good conscience, agree with their religious beliefs as Jehovah's Witnesses. I was told that I could stay, and do everything the way they wanted it done, or move out. I chose to go it on my own, and my parents chose to mostly cut me out of their lives until this day. I have missed home many times, but the experiences, and the wonderful mistakes that I made along the way have made me who I am today. Not perfect, but blessed nonetheless.

Response by CPO Andy Carrillo, MS made Oct 17 at 2015 1:17 AM

CPO Andy Carrillo, MS — Sat, 17 Oct 2015 01:17:54 -0400

Honoring my father's decision to no longer have medical interventions for his gangrene secondary to diabetes, then holding his hand as we rode the transporting ambulance to hospice where he died a few days later. Driving him to Mt. Rushmore years before to fulfill his dream was my best time with him.