What suggestions or experiences can you share for someone looking to join the service with a spouse who travels regularly for their job?

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 22:09:26 -0400

Hello all,
My wife is interested in joining the Guard and has been so for a long time, but I travel for work. To top that off we have two kids. Is there any suggestions or personal experiences that anyone can share? She just wants to do more in her life. Thank you all.

Response by CW4 Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 23 at 2019 10:12 PM

CW4 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 22:12:15 -0400

She will get deployed and you will be mom and dad for 8-15 months...

Response by LTC Jason Mackay made Sep 23 at 2019 10:25 PM

LTC Jason Mackay — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 22:25:22 -0400

You better have a good and durable family care plan.

Response by MAJ Byron Oyler made Sep 23 at 2019 10:39 PM

MAJ Byron Oyler — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 22:39:20 -0400

Tell your wife there are plenty of service opportunities outside of the military. Firefighters, police, and EMS that answer the call all hours of the day, 24/7 is one great place. The 'three letter agencies,' DEA might be a good one with children as she could help keep drugs out of your city.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Sep 23 at 2019 10:41 PM

CSM Charles Hayden — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 22:41:24 -0400

SPC Private RallyPoint Member The mother of my sons wanted to do “more”.

She hustled Avon Products, worked in the elementary school’s cafeteria, did volunteer work, was involved in the Methodist Church and — finally got a job!

She was delighted, when I returned from work, she announced she would soon start work.

I said, “how much”? and told her she was worth more $.

She got a raise before she started work!

Single military is difficult - dual military is much more so. What is the most important -your marriage - or guiding your wife into another less demanding, rewarding endeavor?

Response by Maj Kim Patterson made Sep 23 at 2019 11:20 PM

Maj Kim Patterson — Mon, 23 Sep 2019 23:20:47 -0400

SPC Private RallyPoint Member having a dual military career family is almost a sure fail. The first question you need to answer together is who will raise your kids if you both deploy? Second, you need a very clear financial plan. Third, do you have family nearby that will step in at a moment’s notice?

I was on a great path and made Major and married another Major. Despite our love and commitment, one of us had to give up our military career; it was me. We had 4 children (my 2, and 2 from his first wife) and were relocated right after to a place where we knew no one.

The day I discovered the Walmart was a miracle. They meant I now had a place I could find everything I needed for the house and the kids as they started school. I also started a second career as a nurse. The demands on his time kept him airborne and away almost constantly. They left me with 4 kids in grammar school, finishing my military career and starting college full time. That’s the short version.

You both must be ready to give your marriage 100%. Some days you will need the 100% and some days you will be the 100% for her. The goal is each of you give 100% all the time.
The military also needs you 100% when you are home or deployed,

Having been both a spouse and a military member, I can say that being the spouse was far more difficult. Money is tight, time together needs to scheduled.

With this, I am not saying don’t do it, I am saying there is a lot to consider before making a choice. Are you willing to give up your career if hers soars?

Response by SPC Jonathan Schmidt made Sep 24 at 2019 7:15 AM

SPC Jonathan Schmidt — Tue, 24 Sep 2019 07:15:52 -0400

Is tour marriage strong it better be if this is to happen. And i mean string and God intertwined in it.

Response by SSG Jose M. Hernandezsanchez made Sep 25 at 2019 8:16 AM

SSG Jose M. Hernandezsanchez — Wed, 25 Sep 2019 08:16:13 -0400

Dual military is tough brother. My ex and I joined the Army together, had a baby girl, held the same MOS, and it was still hard. I always thank our leadership at the time because they went out of their way to make things easier for us. But there were times when we both had to go to the field at the same time so, we had to seek childcare over night which hurt our pockets. By the way, we were both stationed at NTC, in Ft. Irwin...we went to the field just about every other day while rotations were going on.
Just sharing mine experience,
Good luck!

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 25 at 2019 9:19 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 25 Sep 2019 09:19:49 -0400

Depends on how old the kids are and if you have a good family care plan. If you have relatives close by who could keep the kids while she is away at training or in the event she gets deployed it shouldn't be an issue.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Sep 25 at 2019 2:03 PM

Lt Col Jim Coe — Wed, 25 Sep 2019 14:03:40 -0400

The biggest issue is caring for your two children. My daughter and her husband were National Guard members in the same Group. They were in different squadrons. She was in Civil Engineering; he was in Security Forces. Fortunately, they had relatives in the local area who cared for the kids while they did drill weekends. We took the grandkids during their two-weeks of active training. Overall it worked out okay. That was several years ago. Post 9/11, I think deployments are a major concern. You both will need a real plan for both contingency and planned deployments lasting many months.
SPC Private RallyPoint Member, as far as your traveling for your civilian job it will take extensive coordination to make this work. You two will be under a lot of pressure to flex your schedules to satisfy your private sector commitments and Guard requirements. Is your marriage strong enough to withstand the stress?