What memorable moments during your time in the service woud you like to share?

2016-01-21T17:38:19-05:00

I have many memorable moments during my time in the service ... And one of the funniest was during piss test, when I decided to put my shorts below my knees so everyone could see my butt and the NCO who was there making sure I peed in the cup, freak out and left the latrine... Nothing like peeing in peace and without people looking... Lol.
What was your moment?

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jan 21 at 2016 6:09 PM

2016-01-21T18:09:26-05:00

Flying in my M1 twice lol

Response by MSgt Daniel Attilio made Jan 21 at 2016 7:22 PM

2016-01-21T19:22:14-05:00

Urinalysis brings up methods couple of Platoon Sargaents had. 1st one would position his desk in the head facing the urinals. You had to face him, trousers at knees while you filled the cup - and he would mock everyone as they were filling the cup. 2nd one about 7 years later, you had drop your trousers to ankles and lift shirt to nipples. He would then observe filling of the cup from behind and over your shoulder. Each met letter of the law but think they were a bit over zealous the intent.

Response by SGT John " Mac " McConnell made Jan 21 at 2016 8:37 PM

2016-01-21T20:37:57-05:00

Watching a drunk platoon member liberate "steal" a 36 piece pizza off the CQ desk while no one was looking. CQ asked what happened to the pizza? And of course another drunk platoon member said that big bird took it ! I did not want to partake but, being the new guy.....laffs...... funny how I got away before SHTF .... Sometimes being the FNG is good... Nobody knew my name...laffs

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Jan 22 at 2016 1:13 AM

2016-01-22T01:13:07-05:00

The fighter squadron officer forgot to close the range safety gate on test range when he came in, and the aircraft was due on range shortly for a low-level drop of a 2,000 lb. high drag bomb for accuracy scoring.

I took a man to go close the gate, and on returning to the control tower I noticed a small black dot in the middle of a kerosene cloud on the horizon, heading into the target pylon on a hot run just as we were passing the target.

The Sgt. opened the truck up and we were doing over 90 mph down a dirt runway when the F-4 passed over us close enough for me to recognize the pilot's face. Fortunately, we were kicking up a big enough dust trail for the pilot to see in time to hold cold.

Apparently the squadron officer, in addition to leaving the gate open, had also cleared the F-4 in hot, assuming that we would take the long way back around the range rather than come back the way we went.

I found out that day the futility of trying to outrun an F-4 with a Dodge Power Wagon, and it gave me an appreciation for what the bad guys last moments must feel like.

Response by SrA Matthew Knight made Jan 22 at 2016 2:04 AM

2016-01-22T02:04:00-05:00

Hmm, I am going to try and respond per each base I've been to as it's the best way I can think to remember.

Basic Training, Lackland AFB:
Our marching unit of 3 trainees got yelled at by the Chaplain of all people. The trainee calling commands saluted the wooden officer cutout but didn't salute the Chaplain as he came out of the building. He wasn't happy.

One of our trainees got made fun of by our MTI for being extremely slow during the break down and rebuild of our training M16s. In the words of our MTI, "Trainee [Redacted] you put that weapon back together slower than grannies f***."

A trainee with no clothes covered up....parts....with shaving cream and was walking around the dorm. Our element leaders and dorm chief lined up facing the wall and were told they were going to go through a discipline challenge. When they about faced they were faced by him and had to keep from laughing. No one won that challenge.

Tech School, Keesler AFB:
Not a humor story but more of a cool thing for us. First week at Keesler out of basic training one of our introduction classes we were in got visited by then Chief Master Sergeant of the Air Force James Roy. Was a great day.

Also a cool thing for us was since we were in Weather Forecasting School at Keesler one of the Airmen in our class ended up chatting with a pilot at the gym who worked with the Hurricane Hunters. Not much longer later our class alone got to go out to the flightline and take a tour of one of the HH C-130s. That was another great day.

Getting stuck in traffic on Beach Road in Biloxi. It was Spring Break weekend and me and a couple of friends decided we were going to go to Wal Mart quick before curfew. We took E. Pass Road the back way because we knew beach road would be awful. Anyway, we ended up missing our turn and went down to beach road anyway. Ended up stuck in traffic for about 2 1/2 hours to go the about 3 to 5 miles back to the base. The police had blocked off every turn off except for the turn leading to the main gate. We didn't care because it was a nice night so we just rolled down the windows, turned on music and visited the whole way back. Made it back if I remember right within an hour of curfew.

Scott AFB:
I never really did anything too memorable. Only big thing I remember was the Combat Dining Out where a bunch of people from our squadron dressed up in costumes and had a cook out with games and water gun wars and what not. I did have an "Oh S**t" moment once when I heard radio chatter outside my dorm room. Next thing I knew firefighters in HAZMAT suits were banging on my door, walking into my bathroom and talking about getting readings on some little handheld thing. They then told us to go down to an ambulance and wait for further instructions. I ended up hearing that someone was painting something and it was winter so they decided to dry it on top of their heater and the fumes from the hot paint started to spread through the dorms and were making people sick. Good times.

Whiteman AFB (Where I am now):
The most significant thing to happen since I have been here was the Airshow back in June. Two days of on and off thunderstorms with periods of clear skies and sun-burn level heat in between showers. It was still fairly fun though with the exception of working trash detail on the first day. Never again.

That about covers some of my best stories thus far. I know I am forgetting many but can't seem to bring them back to memory right now. Oh well, I gave you enough of a wall of text as it was.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 22 at 2016 1:09 PM

2016-01-22T13:09:00-05:00

whilst deployed in Egypt, after being told to 'hammer everything down', and coming back to my platoon sgt's tent, he threw me his binoculars and we watched the 'desert tornado' ( I don't know what else to call it) come through our perimeter, and the 1sg tent literally get sucked up, and up, and up..... we looked at it through the binoculars, but it kept going up and up and up and we couldn't see it anymore...I don't know how far that sucker went up...or where the heck it came down to....I didn't know whether to laugh or cry...

Response by MSgt Aaron Brite made Feb 24 at 2016 8:59 PM

2016-02-24T20:59:03-05:00

Waiting for a shower in the old dorms at Pope on night, ya know the gang shower with two or three decent heads. Showeree walks out and it's a girl in a towel with a knife. WTF... At least your boyfriend should have the courtesy to escort you down to the showers!

In Okinawa one Sunday morning I was joined by a hungover girl. Kept complaining she could not find her panties and was worried she would miss her father's sermon. She turned out to be a high-school daughter of the Marines senior most Chaplain on island.

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 24 at 2016 10:51 PM

2016-02-24T22:51:36-05:00

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 25 at 2016 6:29 AM

2016-02-25T06:29:17-05:00

Getting shot tiwce in the face.

Response by Capt Robert Barnett made Feb 25 at 2016 9:07 AM

2016-02-25T09:07:19-05:00

Coming home after two months in the field and in dire need of a high-n-tight. All the barber shops i usually went too were very busy. I continued driving down the coast and came across a barber shop in a neighborhood that you could tell, very few frequented. I walked inside, sat down and noticed all these photographs of celebrities on the walls. Minutes later, Ike Turner and an entourage walked through the door. Ike took a seat with a barber and I mustered up the courage to introduce myself. This event occurred shortly after Tina Turner's movie had been released. Ike gave me an autographed photo "Never be a fool in love. What's love got to do with it...not a damn thing". And I got my haircut sitting right beside him.

Response by SGT Milton Vazquezayala made Feb 25 at 2016 7:13 PM

2016-02-25T19:13:12-05:00

Korea during team spirit 85 a kimchi GI (korean born us army soldier) left a meeting around 22:00 hours. Around 05:00 he was found down in the concertino wire all bent out of shape cuts all over his butt. He was tactically quiet all night until found.

Response by SGT Jason Keefer made Feb 26 at 2016 3:51 AM

2016-02-26T03:51:25-05:00

That's nothing.... In the MLRS/HIMARS world there's a phenomenon wherein the one being observed states that they can't piss without pooping and forces the observer to watch them do both.

Almost every time, there's that one guy.....

Response by SPC Steven Carroll made Feb 26 at 2016 7:58 AM

2016-02-26T07:58:39-05:00

Standing Guard at the the tank museum at Aberdeen proviing grounds one of the guys started telling ghost storys then going and walking around these old tanks could have sworn I heard long dead tankers working on their tanks creepy.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2016 8:38 AM

2016-02-26T08:38:03-05:00

Speaking of, I dropped full trou during a pass test as a joke. Later that day the observer ran into me while I was taking a leak, took the urinal right next to me, and dropped full trou to get back at me. One of the funniest moments from my time so far.

Response by LCpl William Swink made Feb 26 at 2016 8:03 PM

2016-02-26T20:03:43-05:00

We had a boot DI that always spit in your face when he screamed...so one day, he's screaming in my face and asks if I understand... I roar back "SIR, YES SIR!!" with HEAVY emphasis on my S's... He wipes his face and whispers "Swink, are you hazing me? Hazing is frowned upon nowadays"... Everyone in earshot started laughing.

Response by SPC Jim Moore made Feb 26 at 2016 8:34 PM

2016-02-26T20:34:15-05:00

As s MP taking s SM into custody after the dogs came thru and caught the dumbass with weed on his locker and making him do a strip search after listening to his mouth all the way to the Station. Not really however it pissed him off as much as he annoyed me.

Response by Lt Col James DeLoach made Feb 26 at 2016 11:14 PM

2016-02-26T23:14:25-05:00

I was once issued a written order from being a pee watcher.

There was no permanent pee watcher. If you got tapped for OP golden flow you had to show up with a friend/enemy to be your pee gazer - required to literally visually ensure the stream came from the appropriate hole.

While in the latrine I sat on the sink and my buddy filled the bottle while we talked about how stupid the program was. The female JAG who ran the program was hiding in the stall with the door closed and feet up.

Long story longer, she literally cried to the wing commander. So we get called in to formally get reprimand from the group commander Greenshields. He was barely able to keep a straight face as he issued a written order that we were banned from ever being pee-watchers.

Response by SPC Robert Pulliam made Feb 26 at 2016 11:58 PM

2016-02-26T23:58:09-05:00

One of my favorites is being put on the plane to leave from Kuwait by my closest friend and former Army Reserve teammates who where controlling the passenger loading operations.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 27 at 2016 7:57 AM

2016-02-27T07:57:46-05:00

We cargo strapped our Commander in the port a John for an hour while we were down range. Great Commander. Great unit. Great memories!

Response by SSG Lew Wilson made Feb 27 at 2016 8:25 AM

2016-02-27T08:25:51-05:00

we were doing night patrols. the area was loaded with pine trees then come into a wide open area. some one had strung concertina wire we had to cross. the point man stepped on the wire and held it for the next guy and so on I crossed and the next guy back did so also. unfortunately the next guy back did not make sure to hold the wire down for my buddy. he waited till my buddy was straddle of it stepped off and continued on. next thing you hear these real loud screams "you C@(% sucker get me the !^c( out of this oh my bag you ripped my bag" so much for light and noise discipline . a week later we came in from the field. that same guy gets a shower comes back removes towel and sits down on his bunk (open bay barracks). when he did so the mattress slid back and his jewels happened to slide down through the bed springs. the platoon Sgt. came by told him to stay seated and sits on the next bunk across to talk to him. tells him get dressed he needs to do something . the guy tries to stand up and realizes he is caught . he starts yelling some on help me my sack is stuck . no one will help him though took him almost 15 minutes to get unstuck .

Response by SGT Armando Nunez made Feb 27 at 2016 10:39 AM

2016-02-27T10:39:04-05:00

I was on a chemical company during desert shield/desert storm. While waiting on the rear, we created a tradition in which anybody who got promoted or not was dunked on a blivet( collapsible water tank) afterwards. Every day after a formation someone got dunked! One day after formation, one group went to the supply tent, after a few minutes , came out with the supply sergeant in tow! He was completely naked! He was lifted like in a mosh pit & tosssed in the air with so much force that he did a flip in the air before he took a dive in the blivet. I still laugh when I remember this.

Response by SSG Samuel Sohm made Feb 27 at 2016 1:19 PM

2016-02-27T13:19:06-05:00

So I was in Vicenza in (probably) '08. My boss wanted me to talk to the battalion XO (who I really liked already) for whatever reason. He was outside the BN HQ doing PT and so after I got done with my own I changed and walked out there.
Me: Hey Sir, you have a second?
MAJ: Hang on a sec.
Me: (Waits)...
MAJ: Ok point at me.
Me: (puzzled but points a finger at him doing push ups)...
MAJ: Now count
Me: (I begin counting his pushups) 1,2,3
MAJ: Heh, it looks like your smoking me (chuckles, stops doing pushups) What's up?

MAJ Downes was a really great guy.

Response by PO2 Dustin Humphreys made Feb 27 at 2016 4:15 PM

2016-02-27T16:15:53-05:00

I had to explain what all happened the night I was caught red-handed with the CWO1's(for the whole base) daughter in my all male barracks room. It only made matters worse after we found out she was 17.
The 2 things that saved me were, the fact my command really liked me & the fact it was not her 1st visit to the BEQ.

Response by SGT Jim Ramge, MBA made Feb 27 at 2016 4:34 PM

2016-02-27T16:34:55-05:00

I like many had a bunch of different funny moments in time... There was a week long BN exercise sometime in '93ish, where we were in a Cold War forward missile fire base that had been given back to the Germans and we used it for the week. Being an MI unit, they hadn't seen too much activity in movements, as we mostly stayed put with our equipment.

With the first day being pretty long between driving for a number of long and slow hours on the autobahn, arriving and then setting up the entire system from traveling, parking, setting-up operationally and then placing camo over the 8-semi trailers with some 80 personnel for the first-time, and then setting up our personnel gear areas, plus waiting on a late lunch delivery, a few of us that were up longer than others were pretty exhausted.

So after all of that and while still awaiting on lunch at almost 1400 due to poor coordination, some genius decided it would be a great time to go to MOPP-4 for training. Being the practical joker I was, I said you know what, F-it, I'm dead... Well, that screwed up the entire BNs FTX with smooth operations as normal. Joke was now no on them as most of the leadership looked dumbfounded and clueless with the what do we do now scenario.

An hour later, they brought over a body bag and I was made to get into it and play dead for the next couple of hours. My PLT leadership wasn't too happy cause they got the brunt of the details for the next few hours, so I had to have some more fun with them later that evening while they were having their pow-wow in the "new and first-time used ARFABs".

Since it was dark, I made a little excursion with some innards of 550 cord that got taken apart for a little tying of the zippers act. For the few that had to take a leak at the end of the meeting on that cold night, they had quite the trek after whining for help and everyone laughing so much!

They did get a nice additional and unintentional bit of S-shop training for my act of death, so the Sr BN Leadership was interestingly happy by incorporating that one into their training...

Response by SSgt Len Dozois made Feb 27 at 2016 5:28 PM

2016-02-27T17:28:29-05:00

I was coming off the midnight shift as Security Police Desk Sqt. I had put together the paperwork package for the Base Commander and one of the day shift troops delivered it to the commander's home as was the routine. I'm hanging out talking to the day shift Desk Sgt. when the Base Commander's hot line rings. The Sgt answers and says "Yes sir, He's right here. One moment please." He hands me the phone. After identifying myself, the Base Commander says "Sgt. are you going to be there for a while?" I replied "I can be sir. What do you need?" He says "I'd like to come over and see those shit guns you have in the armory." I say "Sir?" He replies "I am reading the armorer's report and it says '27 12 gauge shitguns with 576 rounds of ammunition.' Hell Sgt., I didn't even know the Air Force had any shit guns and I damn sure didn't know I owned 27 of them." I said "I'm sorry sir. That was a typo. It should be shotguns." He replied "I know damn well it's a typo Sgt. I just want you to know I ready everything my cops send me, and you should too. Fix it and send the new copy to my office now."

Response by MSgt Don Smith made Feb 27 at 2016 6:17 PM

2016-02-27T18:17:20-05:00

Yep hated the golden flow , they had me wait so long one time at the lab and the only latrine they had available was one with just a toilet and sink. By the time I got to do my thing I had to go number two really bad you could hear my stomach turning!

Yep dropped them drawers and sat down on the commode all the while The Tsgt task to do the visual standing there gapping at me saying he couldn't believe what I had just done .

I told him he could be a great guy and hand me the bottle but he just shook his head and left the room !

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 27 at 2016 7:03 PM

2016-02-27T19:03:56-05:00

During an exercise, our NCOIC wanted to do a Monty Python theme for our radio call signs. I told him I was in but only if I got to be Sacred Sperm or Killer Bunny. We didn't have Monty Python themed radio call signs

Response by A1C Gerald Jessup made Feb 27 at 2016 9:27 PM

2016-02-27T21:27:23-05:00

early 70's basic training at Lackland. gave a jalapeno to a kid from new jersey told him it was like a spiced pickle. T.I. nearly killed me for the disturbance in the chow hall

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 27 at 2016 9:55 PM

2016-02-27T21:55:35-05:00

One drunken night at a club in Munich a buddy of mine and this German dude got to arguing over a chick. Now this guy didn't speak a word of English and we didn't speak a word of German. So this guy calls his buddies and we're all standing there ready to fuck these guys up. Well don't ask me how this happened but we all ended up hugging it out, proceeded to order more shots for everybody and the two groups ended up bar hoping for the rest of the night

Response by PO3 Delwyn Campbell made Feb 27 at 2016 11:42 PM

2016-02-27T23:42:37-05:00

My most memorable moment was when I got to my new Duty station at the Navy Media Center San Diego after transferring from the Navy/Marine Corps Reserve Center in Las Vegas, NV. When the CO came in, he called the LPO over, and, gesturing at me, said something to him. The LPO then announced, loudly, "Campbell, your out of uniform!"
I had called ahead to be certain, and I was sure that I was in the proper uniform of working blues, so I said so. He then said, "Petty Officer Campbell, you are in the wrong uniform!"
When I left Las Vegas, I was a JOSN. I had taken the test, but did not know how I had done. The cycle before, my score was the second highest, and I was about to seek a rating change because one person beat me. The Training PEtty Officer told me, "Don't give up now; your obstacle has just been removed."
Before I checked in, my CO found out that I had gotten promoted to JO3. Everyone in the Center knew but me. It was a fantastic moment in my life.

Response by PFC Maurice Thomas made Feb 27 at 2016 11:54 PM

2016-02-27T23:54:00-05:00

In 1982 I was called into our captains office and was told I was pregnant - the issue is - I've been a male since birth in 1961 . Captain Napoleon wasn't quite sure how to inform me , I just grabbed my crotch and said "Sir I think there's a problem here - my boys are still here ! " We had to take drug screens all the time , I was at HHB 3/71 . But anyhow we just looked at each other and I asked him if he really trusted drug screens . Needless to say I was dismissed and walked out of his office laughing - they waited untill I had shut the door then they lost it !

Response by LCDR William Breyfogle made Feb 28 at 2016 1:12 AM

2016-02-28T01:12:43-05:00

As a Chief Photographer's Mate, I got to go places that other guys and gals were forbidden. Was part of the crew documenting the rebirth of the battleship USS Wisconsin, and went aboard for her builders' trials out of Pascagoula, MS. Was allowed to be up on the Foc'sl when she fired her first main gun broadside in 30 years, while all others had to stay below for their own safety. Still remember the wash of flame and heat that blew almost silently out of the muzzles, before the wash of sheer sound blew over me. I remember the anchor chain, each link weighing about 110 lbs, rattling and banging against the hull like Thor, himself, was hitting the steel armor with his hammer. AND, I got my shot of the broadside, and it went out over the wires, and made the cover of Wisconsin Magazine. Great times

Response by Cpl Brian Buehler made Feb 28 at 2016 8:36 AM

2016-02-28T08:36:39-05:00

We were preparing for a water jump in Kaneohe Bay, HI. We had the canopy in place with us all the way around holding it taught. For those who don't know, the safety brief includes going under the canopy in the event during the real jump it lands on top of you. You are supposed to find a seam and keep pulling it until you get the chute off you. Anyway, the first Marine was heading under the chute and a big barracuda decided to jump onto the chute scaring the crap out of all of us. It probably was a site to see Recon Marines jumping around like giddy little kids trying to figure out which way he was going to exit the chute and which one(s) of us would be the ones to let go. It was like Russian roulette.

Response by CSM Michael Sweeney made Feb 28 at 2016 9:28 AM

2016-02-28T09:28:50-05:00

While assigned as a young cook in 1972 "somewhere in Germany", we would bake "Hash Brownies" and issue them from under the serving line to our known customers. One day the Battalion CSM witnessed the under the counter action. He assumed that we were playing favorites with the better quality desserts. He came up to the line and demanded some of our specials. Later he returned to the mess hall to compliment us on the brownies but mentioned that for some reason he had the "munchies". If he actually suspected our special ingredients he never let on but he sure was in a jovial mood that day.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2016 10:11 AM

2016-02-28T10:11:39-05:00

My unit tells the males to pull both pants and undergarments to the ankles for urinalysis.

Response by CPL Guy Grafton made Feb 28 at 2016 12:19 PM

2016-02-28T12:19:29-05:00

Stationed at FT Lewis, some guys aren't all that considerate at weekend parties, grabbing cans of beer wherever. So I kept 2 beers with me; one marked as mine, the other I left half full, but used as an ashtray. One guy was 3 sheets in the wind and his taste buds were shot, so he really didn't react to the "ash-beer" I had all night until the next morning for an hour crapping and puking in the latrine. PAYPACK PRICELESS.

Response by SPC Dennis Manning made Feb 28 at 2016 12:52 PM

2016-02-28T12:52:50-05:00

When I was stationed at Fort Bliss, we headed out to the wilds of MacGregor Range for field duty with HHB 11th ADA. Out in the field for two weeks before we headed back to the rear. I was to drive the deuce and a half loaded with port-a-potties back. A captain nobody liked from the colonel down to the lowest private decided right before we moved out to use the potty. He order me to not move under any circumstances until he was done, then climbed into the bed to get into one. Major in charge of S3 tells me to move out, so I inform him of the captain using the head. The major smiles and says, "Well, seeing as I outrank him, what you gonna do?"

I reply, "I'm going to move out." to which he replies, "Good answer, soldier." I drive about five feet when the major yells, "Private, STOP NOW!" I stomp on the brakes and the port-a-potties tilt and fall at a slant. I hear a large splash and a lot of cussing from the captain. He comes out to ream my butt but instead gets a tongue lashing for taking a dump right before a move-out from the major. He had to ride in the back of the truck because his pants were covered in s**t.

Response by Sgt Scott Newhouse made Feb 28 at 2016 3:51 PM

2016-02-28T15:51:59-05:00

Standing in the dorms with a friend he was looking at a some things hung on the buliton board scratching is balls and some one came in the door directly behind him announcing famale in the dorm as he turn with his hand still down his boxers his look and the speed in which he remove his hand was priceless

Response by SSgt Harvey Hawkins made Feb 28 at 2016 4:54 PM

2016-02-28T16:54:12-05:00

In 1980, I was on the graveyard shift on the flight line at Shaw AFB. I was getting ready to start my pre-flight for the day lighters to have a flight ready at 0800 so it was just before 0400 when I started. After I got finished with the cockpit I was getting ready to crawl the intake to check the engines When I took the cover off the #1 (left engine of my Phantom, I saw the arms of 2 flight suits. I figured no big deal, fighter pilots like to be a little kinky sometimes. Then I got a good look at the bare feet and then it hit me. We didn't have any female pilots at Shaw.

Response by SFC Ken Reynolds made Feb 28 at 2016 5:50 PM

2016-02-28T17:50:34-05:00

Back in 1979 I was an Army Nuclear Medicine Student b

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2016 9:09 PM

2016-02-28T21:09:41-05:00

I was always the senior female, so I saw more pee flowing than I ever wanted. Reminds me of the time that I was the pee watcher in an aviation unit in Germany. Of course, they were unannounced, but even people who were granted a pass and were still in the barracks had to make a 'donation'. This female E5 pissed in the cup, but it wasn't enough. Since she was on a pass to pick up her husband from the airport, they allowed her to leave, but she had to come back and finish. Well, she came back, made her deposit, and came up hot. Turns out her and hubby decided to try some hash on the way back from Frankfurt. She tried to blame it on me 'mishandling her pee', but chain of custody paperwork was initialed off by her. Too bad.....

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2016 9:23 PM

2016-02-28T21:23:30-05:00

Another story while I was in an Aviation battalion.......I was the BN EEOC, and there was another Black woman, a civilian, who was the woman who made recommendations to the BN Commander where there were EEOC issues. So, one day I was in her office, and she told me about an incident that happened when she put in a call to the BN Commander, and the CQ answered the phone. The woman had a very deep, manly voice, so when she asked for the Commander, the CQ told her (thinking that she was a civilian male) to 'take your d**k out of your mouth because I can't understand you'. I looked at her, trying to gage her reaction, and then said something about how unprofessional that was, and I hope the Commander had a talk with him. But to myself, I had to admit, she had the most masculine voice and disposition of a woman that I had met to date.

Response by SFC James Himes made Feb 28 at 2016 9:26 PM

2016-02-28T21:26:02-05:00

Field exercise - open showers. we only had three sides of canvas to cover the shower area. The open side was away from the bivy area. Unknown to us it did expose us to the area someone had designated as a parking spot. Sure enough me and three other sgts getting showered were in full view of a vehicle full of female officers. We came to attention and saluted like a bunch of smart-asses. They just smiled and ordered us to carry on.

Response by PO3 David Gann made Feb 29 at 2016 12:26 AM

2016-02-29T00:26:04-05:00

I think one of my most memorable moment has to be from Navy boot camp. I was a week away from pass and review we just got finished doing PT we were standing in formation outside on the quarter deck I begen to feel sick. So request to go to the head because I felt like I was going to be sick she told me that if I was going to be sick I better puke inside my shirt because if I got her quarter deck dirty I would be sorry. So I listen to her and puked in my shirt. The look on her face was priceless as she said Gann sometimes you shouldn't take me so litterly, Go shower and report to medical. It turned out I had Pneumonia. the doc told me he was going to have to set me back so I could get better. My heart sunk when I heard that I begged the Doctor not to do that because my family had already paid for their trips up. I told him that I would report to medical as soon as I got to A school. He agreed and I got to graduate with my shipmates on time.

Response by CPL Jay Freeman made Feb 29 at 2016 5:01 AM

2016-02-29T05:01:19-05:00

I was at meps I was told the doc had to watch me pee in the cup I undid my fly pulled it out and started to pee in the cup she saw the full Monty. Boy was she shocked. I was told I could use the stall.

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 7:53 AM

2016-02-29T07:53:09-05:00

Every exercise and deployment, seems like we started with girls' names for the A/R tracks...only to be changed when the crew dogs screwed around on the radio.

"ATC, is Meg hot?"
"No one is refueling in Meg"
"Copy. Is Allison hot?"
"No traffic in Allison"
"Is Kate hot?"
"THERE IS NO TRAFFIC BETWEEN YOU AND EXITING THE AIRSPACE".

Also fun was "Bone's in Allison, waiting for our offload".

Then my favorite piece of comm, from a female KC-135 driver:
"I'm just finishing with these two Dudes (F-15Es), then I'll be able to take the Bone".

Response by SPC Dan Wilker made Feb 29 at 2016 8:08 AM

2016-02-29T08:08:17-05:00

In basic bivouac, I was paired with a NG guy from Hawaii who had never used a Porta potty before. After his first experience, I asked him how it went.
he said "alright, but I couldn't figure out how to turn on the sink". I said please tell me you didn't touch the "soap".

Response by LTC Gary Port made Feb 29 at 2016 9:17 AM

2016-02-29T09:17:06-05:00

I was a young Lieutenant JAG doing legal assistance at Fort Bliss back in 1987. An E4 comes in with a letter from Arkansas social services, telling him that his wife is on welfare, and since he's working, they are going after him for the money. He looks at me and says "Sir, that aint right, I divorced that there woman." I patiently explained if that was indeed the case, he merely needs to provide to them a certified copy of the judgment of divorce. He shook his head and said, "Sir, it weren't like that. It weren't working out, so I juss torn up that ol' marriage contract. That was that, and I aint seen her since." I then explained to him that tearing up a marriage license does not, regrettably, constitute a divorce. He was still married to "that woman" and now must pay the money to Arkansas. His pale face got a little paler, and then got up sadly, and as he was leaving, said to me, "That's too bad, when I get home, I don't know what I'm going to tell my wife."

Response by CPL Carol Emmons made Feb 29 at 2016 10:11 AM

2016-02-29T10:11:36-05:00

When I was going through PLDC, back in 92 at Fort Bragg, we were in the field. We were wearing the MILES gear and unfortunately I was "killed". The mission must go on and I was left behind. I know not cool. For me at that moment it was because I really had to go the the bathroom. So what do you do in the woods? Find a place to go to the bathroom. What I think is a safe place turns out not to be. Right in the middle of full stream, a few male soldiers walk upon me. They were freaked out and I just kept on going!! To say the least they did a quick turn and took off. I wasn't embarrassed but it was a little uncomfortable for a while for the rest of the exercise when I would see them. Good times!!!!

Response by TSgt Daniel Wareham made Feb 29 at 2016 10:52 AM

2016-02-29T10:52:17-05:00

A Spark Chaser friend of mine and I shared a bottle of Dave's Insanity for our Lunches from the Gulp and Gallop. One day a young two stripper decided that he wanted to use it. We both warned him that it was very hot, we only used a few drops mixed in with our Ketchup and Mayo. He laid a line of that stuff down his finger and sucked it up like a starving cat... The next thing we know he's lying on the floor, gasping, crying, and throwing a fit. Someone who didn't know what was going on called 911 and ambulance showed up. Next thing we know, the Sky Cops are confiscating our bottle of hot sauce to have it tested for drugs.

The kid spent 2 hours in the hospital on oxygen. He couldn't get his breath.

Two days later, we are both called up to the Commander's office. He started chewing us out, then finally he told us that we could keep our hot sauce, but to keep it out of the hands of those "Too damned young and dumb to know better".

For those who don't know, Dave's Insanity is made from Habaneros and has been known to make a Preacher cuss the first time they tasted it.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 10:54 AM

2016-02-29T10:54:15-05:00

Most of mine are still within the statute of limitations. Ever seen an entire roll of det cord go off after having been wrapped two or three times around every little sapling within walking distance? Looked like lightening going through the trees when we set it off and like we had cleared an LZ when it was all over. The Range Control officer didn't know whether to be impressed or have us arrested - he just walked away muttering under his breath about effing engineers...

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 10:56 AM

2016-02-29T10:56:58-05:00

I would send new Corpsmen down to supply to request a 6 inch fallopian tube for the autoclave. During Service Week in bootcamp at Great Lakes, we would send new guys out with a pitcher to refill all the drinking fountains. (Scuttlebutts) In the field with Marines, young marines and new corpsmen would be sent to locate a box of grid squares at HQ.

Response by SGT Colt Webb made Feb 29 at 2016 12:06 PM

2016-02-29T12:06:17-05:00

So our unit was 3/4 ID stationed in Sadr City, we were attached to another unit 1/2 SCR. So we are on RT Gold making way for the T wall barrier that our unit was helping put up. Small arms fire day in and day out. Small IEDs on a daily basis. This is the only real time we go to use our tanks. My first story is about how we took 3 tanks into Sadr city and had one break down with a fuel problem another break down for a fuel leak, which if your keeping count that leaves us with 1. 1 lonely tank. So we take our tank in to the city to provide superior fire power to a platoon of strikers that were getting there butts handed to them. While on scene we fired one of the first OR rounds down range that day, i saw my friends above me as i was a driver at this point kill a couple guys and then helped direct them to other. Watched my first Hellfire destroy a guy. Which is awesome up close.

Now to the second story. While in Sadr City the same unit was still putting up this dang T wall barrier. All tanks were operational at this point lol. We were pulling over watch for the civi crews building the wall. While doing this i was sitting down looking at my wedding ring. I was 5 months in and had already received my first purple heart from an IED blast earlier in the deployment. As i sat there looking at my ring thinking of home, this blinding light came out of my left side with this enormous fire ball. Thats when it came to me that we had just been hit with a RPG, of all the places it could have hit the tank it hit right between the turret and the hull. That small gap. Just my luck right. So as time has began to go back from the standstill of that brief moment i begin to realize that the blast was so hard that the tank shut off, and for some reason my left side is wet.....As i look down i realize why. I was covered in massive amounts of blood. I just bought new tanker boots. Ruined. So as my crew start looking around to check each other, there faces go white as they look and see my acu's covered in blood. My response. "Well this sucks". So tank restarts with the help of our driver we called Biscuit, my PSG who was my TC called up i was hurt. I jump out of this tank gunfire has erupted everywhere RPG explosions and here i am with a couple dudes and a medic running off the top of my tank and into gunfire to the medivac striker, which gets hit with RPG fire and a couple IED's i mean why not take all the luck i have right. That was the last time i saw my friends for over a month. Went to Qatar then back to my unit to finish my first deployment. 14 IED/EFP blasts, 2 Purple Hearts, ARCOM with Valor. 15 months of fun in the sun it literally was the best job i ever had.

Response by SPC Dennis Escobar made Feb 29 at 2016 12:17 PM

2016-02-29T12:17:29-05:00

I remember one of my piss test, It was during AIT. This guy already when 3 times and drank 2 full cantines full of water, but every time he tried he couldn't (apparently the guy was shy).
when all of the sudden, the drill sergeant star kicking and slamming the door, screaming at him and he literally peed on himself. He didn't even had the time to prepare the bottle. next thing I know they kick him out of the latrine and made him wait until the last was done.

Response by CPT Tom Fawls made Feb 29 at 2016 1:57 PM

2016-02-29T13:57:53-05:00

Had a flight surgeon in Korea who started the annual 8 hour flight physical by holding up his two hands and asking the question: "how many hands do I have?". Once you answered correctly, he'd say "Remember that for later."

The last test of the day was the digital rectal exam (wahoo). As you dropped your drawers, bent over the table and spread your cheeks, he'd take up position behind you, placing one hand on your shoulder and ask you "do you remember the answer to that first question I asked you today, the one about how many hands I have?".

Before you could answer, and without you being able to see what he was doing, he placed a fake hand on your second shoulder and began his rectal exam.

Response by CPL Harro Penk made Feb 29 at 2016 3:00 PM

2016-02-29T15:00:03-05:00

MOUT training during my 1st year in the Infantry. We're doing the tire-house in full battle gear including flak vests and ear plugs, and during the blank-fire iteration we had a couple of guys from the other squads play OPFOR ("bad guys" for all you squids). My team goes left, the other team goes right. We cleared one room, then another, and then the last one at the end with both teams rejoining again in the hallway just before the final breach. In the last room we took one "EPW" (prisoner) who surrendered as part of the exercise. Before we get a chance to put handcuffs on him, our trainer-observer calls "counterattack" which was our signal for gathering up back at the original point of entry and exiting the building, i.e. all the way back through the tire house at the far end from where we were. I'm a bit slow understanding this, so before I know it - I'm the only one left in the room with the EPW. Now by myself, I can't tie him up, I can't do anything. It takes a two-man team to search and prep a prisoner for movement - one to tie up and one to point a weapon at him. So, unsure of what to do next, I freeze and ... don't do anything.

A minute goes by, and then another. My squad is now assembled on the other side of the tire-house, and I'm still "hanging out" with my EPW at the other end. Finally I hear the muffled sounds (the tire house sucks up any noise, plus we were all wearing ear plugs) of my team leader yelling my name (and a few other choice words). I yell back: "Sergeant, I have a prisoner, and he's not tied up yet". At which point I get the command "Light him up!". I point my rifle in his general direction, kack off a few blanks (pointing slightly away for safety reasons), and then rush into the hallway where the rest of the team is waiting about 50 feet away, just before the windows we originally entered the tire house in. Somehow, something went very, very wrong as the expression in all their faces is telling me as I get closer.

As I approach, everyone is staring at me in disbelief. I finally get to my team leader who is white as a sheet, and he quietly whispers: "What did you do?"

Innocently, I repeat his last order: "You told me to 'light him up', so I did!"

He rolls his eyes, and cries out: "You idiot! I told you to TIE HIM UP!"

Anyway, a few hundred push-ups and a lengthy platoon-wide training period on the Laws of warfare, the Geneva convention, and a soldier's responsibility to uphold internationally accepted human rights later.........

Good times.

Response by CPL Harro Penk made Feb 29 at 2016 3:15 PM

2016-02-29T15:15:34-05:00

Live-fire exercise in the Rainier training section of Ft. Lewis. We had set up to train different sections of our infantry company for simultaneous events - the line platoons were setting up ambushes with claymore mines, the AT section was setting up for anti-tank ops, and even our mortars were one range away popping 60mm into the air to both hit targets and provide illumination during the night portion of the training.

Anyway, we do this for three days/nights to get all the platoons through the iteration, and since my section was just 100' or so from where the claymores were set up every night (think "big ka-boom"), we weren't getting much sleep. To compensate for this, all the radio men (RTO's) including me and my battle buddy were set up right next to each other to take turns with the range control radio and the emergency radio, which had to be manned 24/7 while the ranges were live.

One of the newbies had somehow been convinced that instead of bringing the sleeping bag, it would be more "efficient" to bring a body bag. You have to know that at the time, Ft. Lewis was fairly mild and really the only weather issue was rain: Body bags are water proof. So in a way I guess this made sense. So, anyway, Weasel (his nickname) was sleeping in a body bag every night.

Day 3: We're all a bit exhausted from lack of sleep and the constant explosions/illumination/training going on, but first thing in the AM we get up, get cleaned up, shave and generally get ready to have breakfast - the one hot meal afforded to us (lunch/dinner were MRE's due to our training schedule). We see the chow line forming up and for us it was customary to go last. Anyway, everyone's ready except for Weasel - he's still in his body bag.

We kept prodding him to go, but his response was that he wanted to "sleep in"?!

My buddy and I give each other "the look", jump on top of Weasel and as my buddy explains to him how "you're OK, don't worry, you'll be fine. The doc can fix this, it's barely a scratch" - I zip up the body bag. Of course, at this point it's just muffled sounds from Weasel - "I can't breathe etc", who finally realized that there's no zipper on the inside of the bag, unlike a real sleeping bag. He's stuck and can't get out.

We get in line, grab a plate of breakfast with the rest of the RTO's, and pretty much forget about Weasel. His section Sergeant comes up and asks about him "Where's he at? I have a letter for him."

Again, my buddy and I do the look thing and innocently proclaim that we don't know where he is.

No B.S.: Just then a body bag emerges from the bushes across the chow line, doing something akin to the "inch worm" while blindly falling/rolling/crawling towards the apparent sounds of the company.

Needless to say my buddy and I got to do a little extra PT that morning, but we both maintain that we did it with a smile on our faces.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 4:03 PM

2016-02-29T16:03:19-05:00

Back in 2005, I was doing convoy duty eventually heading up to Mosul, we stopped at Camp Anaconda for some rest

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 29 at 2016 4:10 PM

2016-02-29T16:10:20-05:00

*glitchy website*
Back in 2005, I was doing convoy duty eventually heading up to Mosul. We stopped at Camp Anaconda for some rest. I went to the showers at around 3 am exhausted. I got done showering and started drying off when I noticed a female soldier with a towel wrapped around her (decent looking soldier at that). We stared at each other for a second when I asked if she was in the wrong place or I was. Apparently I was. I shrugged, apologized, then walked over to the sinks to brush my teeth. She didn't seem to care and I didn't care at all. So I finished up after a few minutes, said have a good morning over the sound of her shower, she wished me the same and I went along my way.

Response by PO1 Don Hand made Feb 29 at 2016 4:14 PM

2016-02-29T16:14:10-05:00

I was the urinalysis coordinator. I was not allowed to view a sample, but able to body snatch whoever I wanted as observers. I always had the gayest mofos I could find observe.

Response by Cpl Kenneth Rocheleau made Feb 29 at 2016 4:27 PM

2016-02-29T16:27:45-05:00

So early in my second tour to Fallujah as an M1A1 tanker, we were out on a patrol in the middle of the city around 3 in the morning maybe. I was the gunner of my tank. So in the middle of our patrol my loader says that he has to shit real bad. Our tank commander told him to hold it. He tells him he can't. Next thing I know he is grabbing the water cooler we keep in the turret for cold water. Throws it on the turret roof. Hops up on the turret and proceeds to rip off his flak jacket as fast as he can and pull his CVC suit down. He rips the lid off the water cooler and in a seen out of Dumb and Dumber proceeds to shit his brains out moaning and grunting. Our Platoon Sgt is in the tank behind us yelling at my TC to get him back in the tank "NOW SGT! Get his ass back inside". My Sgt has his head out his hatch yelling at the loader to get back inside. Moments later he says "Oh God, it smells like baby shit", and he ducks back into the turret to get away from the smell. The driver and I are laughing so hard we are crying. The Platoon Sgt is still yelling at my TC over the radio. Took him like 5 minutes to finish shitting. Needless to say we threw that water cooler in the burn pit after we got back to Camp Fallujah and my loader got a little bit of a talking to. Keep in mind this was fall 2006 not too long before the buildup in Iraq. So Fallujah was exactly a safe place anymore. When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Response by CAPT Hiram Patterson made Feb 29 at 2016 4:32 PM

2016-02-29T16:32:31-05:00

I was stationed at Camp Blue Diamond, Iraq with the Marine 6th Civil Affairs Group in late 2005 and shared a trailer with my surgeon buddy. He was so concerned that the bad guys could sneak over the wall, get inside our trailer and kill us both. Not very likely. Anyway, I came back from a mission on a CH-46 very late at night. When got to the trailer I pulled the door knob and the door wouldn't budge. So I pulled a little harder and nothing. Then I just yanked it as hard as I could and it opened followed by this loud bang, thwap, bang sound that woke up my battle buddy. Turn out he nailed one end of a bungee cord to the wall and tied the other end to the inner door knob. The door end suddenly came loose. That's why I couldn't open the darn door. We all had a good laugh telling everyone about it!

Response by CWO4 Josh Henley made Feb 29 at 2016 8:44 PM

2016-02-29T20:44:36-05:00

In the 90s the TV series "Baywatch" also hosted a charitiable function called "Camp Baywatch." This function catered to "underpriviliged children" in that once a month the kids would be taken to various places such as muesuems, parks, beach, zoo, even Disney Land. The chaperones were actors and associates of the Baywatch francise as well as a former Miss America (talk about high profile). Well this one summer Saturday, Camp Baywatch kids and crew came to CG Airsta to spend the day.

The duty section was looking forward to the day because it was also a break in routine. I, as the OOD wasn't so sure (I was relatively new to the airstation crew). But the duty sections' familiarity with the function put my mind more at ease. As the bus pulled into the parking lot, one of our Dauphins (Dolphins) was just taking off, and all the kids heard was the unmistakable whine of the fennistron and she moved off on a routine patrol. Kids and crew escorted into the hangar we began with introductions and a quick general tour of the station. This was followed by a seperation of children into groups depending on their particular interests, which duty members would then take to that particular area of interest. There were 30 kids and five chaperones to our 10 person duty crew.

Airsta LA has special flight suits and helments made up for kids, and those interested got to dress up and sit in the cockpit of a helicopter with its electronics functioning. Next to them would be a duty crew explaining things at a basic but informative level.

After a few hours the Dolphin came back and the commander gave the kids a show with the helicopter sashaying sided to side and dipping back and forward (dolphin dance). When it landed the kids helped crew scrub the helicopter down. Finally there was pizza and soda for all in the hangar, and much abuzz about the events of the day, while the adults smiled and listened. They day had come to a close and the kids were being ushered back on the bus. There were three young men (the last to leave the station doors), as we said good bye when one turned to the other two.

"You know, maybe one day, we can be super heros too..." You could have heard a pin drop.

Response by SN David Joyner made Feb 29 at 2016 9:09 PM

2016-02-29T21:09:31-05:00

I was a Hospital Corpsman at Yokosuka Navy Base in 1992. I was working on the Labor and Delivery ward when a pregnant lady came in experiencing contractions. Before attaching her to the CTG to measure the contractions and the baby's heart rate, she said she needs to pee first. She went into the bathroom and about 5 minutes later we heard he yelling "the baby is here!" Walking into the bathroom, she was over the toilet holding the baby between her legs. In the one year I was stationed in Japan, it was the only delivery that was not on an actual delivery bed or a C-section operating room. As a 20 year old Corpsman, that image was ingrained into my brain.

Response by CPT Phil Hernandez made Feb 29 at 2016 9:53 PM

2016-02-29T21:53:33-05:00

Being woken up at 0345 Hrs at B.A.C. (airborne school) during jump week to Bon Jovi's .....JUMP on the loudspeakers

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 12:24 AM

2016-03-01T00:24:11-05:00

Basic training at FLW in 2005. This is a 2 part... Because I can't tell one without the other...
About 6 weeks into basic training, during mail call, a Drill Sergeant read our platoon a letter from one of the mothers of our platoon-mate. It read as follows:
Dear Drill Sergeants, my son has been complaining that you are too hard on him. He says that he is not getting enough sleep and doesn't have enough time to eat. Enclosed is a box of cookies and a box of tampons. Enjoy the cookies in front of him and ensure that he carries the tampons as an inspectable item. Sincerely, (name omitted), CSM, retired.
So anytime someone started complaining about something, the drill sergeants would yell "Tampon!" And he would come running over and stand at parade rest with a tampon held out in front of him.
Our last FTX. One of the soldiers had been shamming by running off to the porta-john every time something needed to be done. Soldiers noticed it, then the drill sergeants noticed it... Finally, 1SG noticed it... So, 1SG did the only logical thing. He dropped a CS canister into the top of the porta-john vent tube... About 30 seconds later, the soldier comes flying out of the porta-john crying, gagging, choking on CS... "I can't breath" gasped the soldier. "Tampon!" Yelled the drill sergeant.

Response by PO3 Daniel Shannon made Mar 1 at 2016 7:05 AM

2016-03-01T07:05:13-05:00

During my time in Vietnam (1968) we headed over to Vung Tau to pick up our boat (ASPB). (I was a member of the Mobile Riverine Force) While there I had to use the head. Large room, toilets spread out in a long line, (had to be at least dozen of them) no partitions between them, just an open head for sure. Nobody there but me. Well I sat down and was just about to take care of business when an elderly momma sahn walked in and sat down right next to me! She turned and grinned at me! She had maybe three teeth left in her mouth and all I could see was those blacken teeth! Suddenly I no longer had to go to the bathroom! I was up and out of there in a heart beat!

Response by SMSgt Steve Neal made Mar 1 at 2016 7:19 AM

2016-03-01T07:19:30-05:00

Too many life-altering mishaps, bonfires, and explosions to mention, but my three-inch-thick medical record from over 250 military hospital emergency room visits is a chronological summary of most of them...

Response by PO2 David Osborne made Mar 1 at 2016 10:09 AM

2016-03-01T10:09:26-05:00

Ah fun memories...

This one drill weekend/squadron picnic at willow grove started like every drill weekend. Doing all the work while the selves went to to medical.....younknow. ;)..

But somewhere around lunch time...that's when things got interesting.

A fellow 2nd class, myself and a third were filling water balloons for the picnic when our skipper and masterchief walked out into the hangar. Well, my buddy, the other 2nd, decides to smart mouth the skipper....and the skipper promptly replies back...THEN, removes his wallet, cell phone and keys from his pockets, daring my buddy. Well...needless to say, water balloons soared towards the skipper..and ll hit their mark..I mean, what are 3 airframers supposed to do when egged on by the skipper, right?? Well, after we were empty on balloons, skip and masterchief went back inside and we began filling balloons again.

About 5 minutes later, our 1st class comes out of airframers and tells us masterchief needs us in his office asap....

So, we tidy up, and head to the office. We're there, popped at attention, getting reamed for the display we showed in the hangar, when the door opens...

Skip walks in, tells the masterchief to lay off, he egged it on and and shook all our hands. He walked out, masterchief then turns to us quietly and pretty much tells us not to do it on a drill weekend again. He was upset reservists got to see us have fun with a skipper....apparently, we were supposed to be professional that weekend.

God, I miss the good old days.....

Response by 2d Lt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 10:35 AM

2016-03-01T10:35:51-05:00

I had a major watching me for my drug test, and right as I was about to go pee. He lead over and started to massage my shoulders and said "relax you got this". The most awkward and hilarious test I e had so far.

Response by PO2 Roy Lemons made Mar 1 at 2016 11:33 AM

2016-03-01T11:33:34-05:00

On submarines you use compressed gas to overcome the sea's pressure to blow sanitary tanks. At the bottom of the toilets is a large ball valve that you open to dump what you left into the sanitary tanks. Before you apply pressure to the tank you are exposed to hang signs on the doors to let people know not to use the head, because if you open the large ball valve at the bottom of the toilet with pressure, what is in it will spray all over you and the rest of the stalls.

One day after several days of 18 hour a day watches and working on equipment on your off watch section (maybe getting one or two hours of sleep in 24 hours) I went to blow the tanks. I went to all the heads but one and placed the signs. About halfway onto blowing the tank I realized I forgot one, the CO/XO’s head, so I ran up and quickly put the sign on the door. I did not know but the XO was in the head and blew what was in the toilet all over himself. Mad as hell, yelling and screaming be busts out of the head only to see the sign on the door. Thank God he thought he just missed the sign. This is the first I have told the story, it happened in 1981.

Response by CPL K Wu made Mar 1 at 2016 12:42 PM

2016-03-01T12:42:34-05:00

When I was stationed in Mannheim Germany one of my buddies got promoted and thanked the girls at the red light district during his speech.

Response by SSG Patrick McKeever made Mar 1 at 2016 2:21 PM

2016-03-01T14:21:20-05:00

Wouldn't have phased me i have had troops take a dump so they could fill the cup lol

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 2:59 PM

2016-03-01T14:59:17-05:00

I was in basic training, and we were at mail call. The MTI said a name, sat puzzled for a second and said "do we even have a trainee *name* in this flight?". This was 6 weeks in mind you. The trainee made his presence known, and our MTI told him to get in trouble so he could remember his name. About a week later, the trainee got a U for the week of training (two U's gets you recycled) and our MTI started ripping him a new one. After about 15 minutes of ear aching screaming, the MTI yelled "what do you have to say for yourself!" The trainee simply replied "sir, you told me to get in trouble, and I didn't want to disobey. So here we are!" The MTI stared at him with the most pissed off look, then finally snapped, burst out laughing then walked away.

Response by PO1 John Victorine made Mar 1 at 2016 6:21 PM

2016-03-01T18:21:50-05:00

I filled a cup with apple juice and handed it to the "observer" and said here's my sample. He handed it back to me and said I had to wait until called upon and needed to be watched. I unscrew the cap and drink the apple juice. They almost committed me on the spot.

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 7:53 PM

2016-03-01T19:53:11-05:00

I started my career in SAC. For the urinalysis we stood in front of a trough, pulled our shirts up to our chest, dropped our pants to our knees, and faced the NCO while we peed in the cup. This was not to be funny, it was the approved procedure.

Response by MSG Daniel Talley made Mar 1 at 2016 9:59 PM

2016-03-01T21:59:26-05:00

Monday morning, 0530, driving onto Fort Bragg for airborne refresher in 1990, brand new to division. I realized I hadn't shaved since Friday. All I could find in my truck was sand paper. Talk about "raiser burn"!!!

Response by Cpl Ramon Lozano made Mar 1 at 2016 10:04 PM

2016-03-01T22:04:27-05:00

We were in Cuba, '94 or '95, and all we had for restroom were port-a-johns all lined up like 30 deep. Most of the "locks" didn't work so we all got in the habit of knocking. KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK "BUSY!" Then move on to the next until you find an empty one. One time I'm sitting there with my pants off and KNOCK KNOCK and I say "COME IN!" The Marine actually opened the door and stepped one foot in there with me, looked at me, gave me a look that chilled my bones then cursed me as he slammed the door shut! I laughed and laughed......and I'm STILL laughing!

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 1 at 2016 10:18 PM

2016-03-01T22:18:27-05:00

In Afghanistan 2012 we were on a long convoy, about 18 hours, with no stops. My PL, 2nd LT, were riding in the back of an open gun seat maxpro. The whole trip we had been talking about how sexy the female gunner was. About ten to twelve hours into the convoy that gunner sits down and ask if I could hand her a gatoraid. I did and she simply pours it out the hatch of the truck and without warning drops drawers mere inches from my face and proceeds to piss in that bottle never spilling a drop. I was beyond impressed. At the end of the trip she said "I hope I didn't freak you out with that" to which I replied " not at all, smelt like dinner to me". We both laughed like he'll and went on about our way.

Response by A1C Bob Soper made Mar 2 at 2016 1:24 AM

2016-03-02T01:24:24-05:00

I was a Crew Chief on F-4 fighters back in 1969 , I was taking a fast brake to the chow hall for something to eat when out came three guys in uniform "USAF" and the one stopped me he had some kind of dot on his shoulder where brass would be for an officer . and started chewing me out for not saluting him ????? . I later found out he was a third Lt. which I'd never heard of. Just then my flight line officer Capt. Ted M. came out as I stood there puzzled and Ted asked me, Bob what's going on and I told him "This guy wants me to salute him or something ?. He told me he'd handle it and to be on my way. Just so happens I didn't salute Ted either "But" that was our understanding. As I returned to the line they had a plane ready for me to launch , And low and behold the same guy Officers 3rd Lt. training school came out to my plane . I strapped him in the Co Pilots seat and as I pulled the pins out of the ejection seat I noticed he looked a little nervous .
Here is where I taught him who was who, I told him the vomit bag's were in a small compartment next to his right knee, and he replied , I won't be needing them. "LOL" please note he just came from the Chow hall. The plane came back in and I put up the ladder and as he was walking away' I yelled out at him "Just where do you think your going" Sure enough he got sick and he got to clean it up. Lesson learned to a want a be. Don't mess with your Crew Chief.

Response by A1C Bob Soper made Mar 2 at 2016 1:53 AM

2016-03-02T01:53:45-05:00

During Tech School at Sheppard Air Force Base back in 1969 , I was walking by the flight line near some hangers and a training helicopter was running near by, all it did was have a trainee lift off go up about 50 feet or so then land it back down. As I was walking by It went up to about 20 to 30 feet and the Main Rotor came flying off the top of it and it crashed down on to the ground everyone inside seemed to be O.K. "BUT" my concern was the blade was spinning across the ground and coming right at me, Scared Sh*t less I didn't know weather to run to the right of me or to the left ? Fortunately as it came closer it started to go off to the side and didn't come as close as I feared it was about too and stopped without damaging anything around it. I wasted no time thanking God on that one.

Response by A1C Bob Soper made Mar 2 at 2016 2:15 AM

2016-03-02T02:15:08-05:00

One night on the Desert at Mountain Home A.F.B. , It was late and we were done for the night the evening was hot and in the 100+ range and after my last plane came in for the night , I decided to lay down on my back on the wing which was cold from the altitude and had just come back in, I'd just finished doing the post flight inspection and was enjoying the coolness of the metal. As I looked up in the sky I saw a bright light traveling back forth above the flight line in a perfect line ,as I watched one of the crew members came out to check on me wondering where I was , He asked me what I was doing and I replied looking at that light up there. Not knowing what it could be we went down to the tower and spoke to them and asked them if they saw it, they replied they'd been looking at it for the last 15 minutes or so , the biggest question was why wasn't it showing on radar ?

Response by SrA David Libby made Mar 2 at 2016 8:02 AM

2016-03-02T08:02:52-05:00

I was in the head at the BX at NAS North Island in Civi's after I was done peeing I was leaving When a butter bar yell saying "Son you have to wash your hands you leave" I responded "Sir in bootcamp they teach the enlisted not to pee on your hand"! P.S. I was leaving on a motorcycle

Response by CPL Jamie Vaux made Mar 2 at 2016 4:07 PM

2016-03-02T16:07:02-05:00

When I was with SOCCENT at MacDill AFB one person had to stay back during lunch in case we had to beep the troops to get back (Yes, beepers it was in the 90's) I received a phone call from a COL. Pancake to get picked up from Tampa Airport. So thinking that one of the guys was pranking me I told him to flapjack his ass to base. Well two hours went by and I ordered by the captains office office and standing there was Full bird Colonel Pancake. To this day my ass still hurts after that ass chewing.

Response by PO1 Donald Hammond made Mar 2 at 2016 5:50 PM

2016-03-02T17:50:29-05:00

When I reported to a new sea going command, I was the only one certified to work on a major piece of equipment. So the Chief, who I would later be relieving, told me to go fix it before doing anything else. So I did. Well, I just HAD to find out what he was made of so I go to him after fixing it to report it was fixed. Then I hold up a bucket of parts and said "here are the leftover parts". Yeh, he didn't have much of a sense of humor. lol (I got the parts from a storage locker. Just nuts and bolts and stuff)

Response by CPL Brian OHare made Mar 2 at 2016 9:13 PM

2016-03-02T21:13:46-05:00

I stop into Stars and Stripes to buy my monthly issue of Playboy, when the knockout behind the counter asks if there'll be anything else? "Yeah, when would you like me to take you to dinner?" "Tomorrow night?" We've been married for over 20 years, and now we have a subscription that we both read the articles. ;-)

Response by SSG Timothy Yelland made Mar 3 at 2016 2:04 AM

2016-03-03T02:04:35-05:00

Back in 95 I was stationed at Ft.Bragg while working as the malfunctions NCO covering the airborne operations for 16th MP BN I had a full bird colonel drive across an active drop-zone to my location on top of the hill pop out his hummv with hands on his hips (John Wayne style) look around and in a boisterous voice asked my crew if we had seen any "Blue Falcons" around here!!Without missing a beat I responded "Yes Sir I got a whole drop zone full of them" then I responded trying to keep my composure "Sir the blue falcons I believe you are looking for are 3/325 Infantry and they are on Nijmegen Drop zone and this is Normandy drop zone and if you want to get there Sir you have about 30 seconds to clear my drop zone because I have in-bound aircraft" (mind you my entire crew is rolling with laughter and even the Colonel's driver is laughing by this time) The Colonel turns back towards me on his way to his vehicle and says "thank you Airborne and have yourself a Blue Falcon day".
For those who don't understand in the airborne community blue falcon is another way to say buddy fuc*er but is also the motto of 3/325 infantry being blue falcons as well.

Response by SSG Jorge Reynoso made Mar 3 at 2016 10:12 AM

2016-03-03T10:12:12-05:00

In basic training we had this crazy Drill Sergeant called Wollery. One day like at 1500 he decides to take the entire company on a run. In the middle of the run one private called Leonard all of a sudden had to use the port a potty. He said no of course and after not another 2 miles a so she couldn't hold it anymore and took a s*># on herself. Back then we use to wear the gray biking short under our regular or uniform. When we finished the run she thought he would let her go up and shower. Again nope. He made her stretch with us. But this point it was coming out of the shorts. As we are stretching he walks up to her stands there and says "We ran the sh*^ out of you! Didn't we Leonard?!" We all felt bad but it was so unexpected you couldn't help but laugh.

Response by CPL Harro Penk made Mar 3 at 2016 12:14 PM

2016-03-03T12:14:44-05:00

My last year in the infantry and we're doing our yearly "big one", i.e. the most important exercise all year to certify us combat ready and give all our leaders their report cards. We're part of a Corps-level exercise including mechanized units (we were a light unit in the 9th Regiment back then) and our entire battalion was tasked with playing the "Opfor" (read: bad guys) portion of the exercise. Our company is chosen to enter the "box" (read: go into the woods and play) early to give the scout platoons something to find. Since we were the bastard step children of I Corps, we felt it our duty to make sure they didn't find us.

So after a bit of a map recon, plus the fact that we knew the Rainier section of Ft. Lewis like the back of our hands, we find the perfect spot: 120 men go hide between two raised berms leading into a small pond. It's summer, we're all only equipped with minimal gear to keep the weight down and stay as mobile as possible, even though for three days and two nights we simply stayed hunkered down in this tiny plot of land.

Anyway, within about 2 minutes of arrival it dawns on us why this spot was chosen: No one in their right mind would have picked it. The place is infested with mosquitoes like a plague. For two nights and three days we valiantly fight off the darn buggers with repellent and try to cover up as much of our bodies as possible, all to little avail. In the end, by the time we sneak out of there, we were all covered with insect bites. Heck, I think I nearly lost a quart of blood in that place. Anyway, discipline held, we kept our composure although just barely, and the full exercise commenced after day 3 when we finally left and split up into individual platoons and squads to play "harassing insurgent forces".

A couple of weeks later I drop off the CO, XO, and 1SG at one of the debriefs after the whole shebang ended. I'm even allowed to "hang out" and listen in the meeting. Anyway, the Platoon leader from the Scout section walks up, and gives his assessment: "We saw you guys coming in. You landed about 200 yards from where we had set up a listening post, and my team followed you all the way to the lake. We had your coordinates sent to our brigade within minutes, and kept eyes on you the whole time. We even had time to rotate teams.".

To which my 1SG, who had picked the spot replies: "Well, I'll be. Why didn't you guys attack? Why did you leave us in that hell hole that whole time?"

The Scout leader looked him dead in the eye and said: "You're the bad guys. We decided to make you suffer." To which everyone in the room burst out in laughter - except of course the four of us who had suffered.

Anyway, on the drive back the 1SG tells me: "Penk, don't EVER mention this to anyone. They'll lynch me."

Response by Cpl Joe Palazzolo made Mar 3 at 2016 12:44 PM

2016-03-03T12:44:25-05:00

Sitting in the squad bay out in Bridgeport , we were cleaning weapons. One of the SSGT's walked in after his shower; and yelled "How did rust get on this!". We all looked to see him naked with his towel wrapped around his head smiling. He then berated us for being "meat gazers".

Response by PO1 Eric Klein made Mar 3 at 2016 3:50 PM

2016-03-03T15:50:53-05:00

While at Boot Camp up in Great Lakes one member of my division was getting yelled at by our Chief RDC for something. He is standing tall about about 6ft 9 or so and he is built like a brick Shithouse. The Chief yells up at him that even though he is taller that to the chief he still "looks like a fucking bug to him". So he asks "Recruit is that what you are? Are you a bug?" To which the recruit replied instantly with a straight face in the best impersonation of the Tick from the old TV show. "NO CHIEF.....I AM AN ARACHNID!" and he had the build for it as well. All he was missing was the costume. The Chief tried to pretend he was mad and marched back to the RDC lounge and even through the door we could hear him laughing his ass off. He came back out with tears in his eyes.

Response by SGT Clayton Hill made Mar 3 at 2016 11:07 PM

2016-03-03T23:07:58-05:00

2004 Najaf Iraq fighting Sadrs Army, my hmmwv was covering an alley that was crawling with em. Gunner is cleaning em up real well, I pulled up so he could reload out of their sight. He said when you back up I'm gonna suppress them and you put a 203 Rd on that sand pile. I don't have a direct shot. Ok, back up, he opens the 240 up, I bail out line up sight and fire hitting a telephone pole before the Rd had traveled far enough to detonate. It bounced back towards us and behind us. It blew up when it hit the ground. Plt sgt was in the vehicle directly behind us and we all hear him across the net, mortars they're mortaring us!!! We never told him the truth and the next Rd hit the intended target. Good times.

Response by SSgt Timothy McCloud made Mar 4 at 2016 4:03 AM

2016-03-04T04:03:47-05:00

While detached on board the USS Germantown in 1992 the ships store ran out of all tobacco products while on extended time without a port of call. Not being my first rodeo I came prepared with a sea bag full of plenty of logs of chew and cartons of smokes. Being the young entrepreneurs I was I began selling them for a plenty penny. One evening my platoon Sgt. comes screaming in the berthing area my name with all bloody murder. "Your in deep sh** now" and " I'm going to smoke the hell out of you until you ets!" and ordered me to stand at attention outside the berthing area as the XO and CO of the ship walked straight up in front me with dead cold stares. The XO then proceeds to ask me if I was selling tobacco with no emotion and the ship's skipper putting the fear of God in me. I quickly replied "aye sir" and after about 10 seconds of stares and silence, the ship's Captain says "Oh thank God, we'll take two log rolls!"

Response by SPC Michael Partipilo made Mar 4 at 2016 8:17 AM

2016-03-04T08:17:39-05:00

When my section ssg and lt were arguing and ssg told lt he'd be happier than a fagget in a dick tree when he gets promoted out of the platoon my buddy and I were fresh outta basic and couldn't believe our ears

Response by PO2 Walter Savell made Mar 4 at 2016 8:57 AM

2016-03-04T08:57:20-05:00

In boot camp we were all getting ready to hit the rack when a brand new ensign entered our barracks. I had unbuttoned most of the thirteen buttons on my pants and grabbed the side to keep them from dropping. The mature ensign came right up to me and in his best Company Commander voice asked me "What do you have in your hands sailor?" My boot company mates had to stifle laughing when I replied "My pants sir!", let go and promptly dropped. The newly promoted chief beat a hasty retreat.

Response by PO3 B Al Eisen made Mar 4 at 2016 12:42 PM

2016-03-04T12:42:42-05:00

Close to that. We had an NCIS Homo attached to us. He used to rip open the shower curtains looking for something. So I waited until he opened my curtain and pissed in his face. I wrote him up for attempted homosexuality. A more memorable but very unpleasant event was then demonic possession of a restrictoid during an eclipse. NCIS were called in immediately. Shore Patrol was scared. I quietly spoke to them chief investigator within an hour of the incident started. I pointed out the evidence, and the person involved. I then told him to go home. There was nothing to see and that it would be bad for his career to even remember this night. The restrictoid had all of his charges dropped and was gone the next day.

Response by SPC Dalton Moore made Mar 4 at 2016 12:47 PM

2016-03-04T12:47:11-05:00

Too funny.

Response by CPL Robert Fischer made Mar 4 at 2016 1:25 PM

2016-03-04T13:25:50-05:00

I wanna say i know that butt

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 4 at 2016 2:09 PM

2016-03-04T14:09:29-05:00

Working under a 5ton wrecker in the Saudi desert as the sun was going down. My battle started freaking out, screaming, and getting out from under the wrecker. Wondering what was going on I looked around to see hundreds of beatles coming up out of the sand.

Response by PO3 Parker Maston made Mar 4 at 2016 3:06 PM

2016-03-04T15:06:21-05:00

During a piss test, I was the last in line. The monitor decided we should play a joke on his buddy at the table who was in charge of taking the samples and placing them in the container. After pissing, I ran the container under warm water in the sink. I took it to him, handed it to him all wet, said "sorry 'bout that", and just waited. I've never seen an NCO turn so red so fast! It was good for a laugh!

Response by SSG Joel Galford made Mar 4 at 2016 6:35 PM

2016-03-04T18:35:15-05:00

So it may not be my most professional moment but while deployed we were filling building a second pb and on 60 some hours of no sleep, I stopped the tram to take a piss, our officer came over the radio and screamed HE WTF ARE YOU DOING NOT MOVING?
So in my Lance Cpl mind I thought it would be a great idea to jump onto the already filled hesco helicopter my wiener and scream back into the radio
"Just swinging my dick actual, just swinging my dick"

Response by SGT Patrick Devine made Mar 4 at 2016 7:18 PM

2016-03-04T19:18:28-05:00

Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and before I did my interservice transfer I was at MCRD San Diego for Boot Camp.
It was final phase during 'practical app' (where you you were tested on all your book and classroom knowledge ... There was a reason we carried the 'big green monster')
Anyways ... Male NCOs for us were 'Sir' and female NCOs were 'ma'am'.
Back in 1988 female NCOs were a rarity on MCRD San Diego but for Prac App our company needed all the support it could get.
Either way i called a ma'am a sir.
A male drill instructor locked me up and blared:
RECRUIT! DO YOU KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A MA'AM AND A SIR?!!?
Being scared out of my mind I snapped back:
SIR! ABOUT NINE INCHES! SIR!
I had just aced prac ap.

Response by SGT Stephen Lewis made Mar 4 at 2016 7:34 PM

2016-03-04T19:34:50-05:00

LMAO

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 4 at 2016 10:20 PM

2016-03-04T22:20:08-05:00

I served as a gunner in a rat truck tasked with convoy security in Iraq (2007). Once we reached our destination and trucks, troops and weapons were squared away we would often have hours to kill before we could bring the convoy back home; these dull hours inspired many good pranks and games between me and my fellow infantrymen. One game in particular was between myself and my squad leader, and this game consisted on one sneaking up on the other to put him in a choke hold till he tapped out or countered. Once, he snuck up on me like the sniper he is and put me in a blood choke. I remember kicking back from the truck with one leg while shouting "you're not getting me this time, Staff!". The next thing I remember is waking up on my back in a pool of my own blood. Apparently, his choke was text book perfect, and when I went limp he thought for sure I was feinting a faint. He then let me go, laughing, at which point they say I wobbled, fell on my ass and abruptly on my back with the back of my head hitting the gravel of the motor pool. Two things still continue to this day: 1. My old squad mates still get a kick out of shouting " not this time, Staff!". And 2. Every time I go to a new barber I am asked where on Earth I got such a wicked scar.

Response by CPL(P) Kevin Koch made Mar 5 at 2016 2:03 PM

2016-03-05T14:03:46-05:00

I was off from CQ the night prior and was called in for a piss test around noon. By the time I got in, I was the last to go and all the observers left but one. As we're heading to the pisser, he starts telling me that I'll need to pull my pants down to my knees, lift my shirt up, yadda yadda yadda.. the usual stuff. I look at him and said, "What? No dinner and a movie first?" He responds with something along the lines of, nope going right to the action. Get back at the pisser, I do as he said but I'm holding it in. Stand there for 5 minutes saying stuff like damn, I gotta go. I can feel it. Why won't it just flow. finally pull my pants back up and tell him lets wait 5 minutes and try again. He tells me to drink water and I tell him, no it's right there I just need a little more time to relax and let it flow. About 2 minutes later I tell him it's time. He's like are you sure? I tell him oh yea, let's go. We get back into the latrine and I drop my pants and all and start pissing right away. I look over my shoulder at him and said, "Yea, sorry about that. I just don't put out on a first date." He just laughed.

Response by Sgt Keith Hudson made Mar 5 at 2016 3:35 PM

2016-03-05T15:35:48-05:00

That's funny, guess he didn't mind watching some peckers but wasn't a ass man

Response by AN Anita Feerer made Mar 5 at 2016 4:40 PM

2016-03-05T16:40:38-05:00

We had a 2nd class who would sing tiny bubbles to the guys during the pics test.

Response by PO2 Melissa Bowl made Mar 5 at 2016 7:27 PM

2016-03-05T19:27:38-05:00

I had to take one while underway, didn't get the lid on tight enough, tripped and it went flying. When it hit the deck, it spilled everywhere. Lol

Response by SPC Jeremy Morgan made Mar 6 at 2016 12:55 AM

2016-03-06T00:55:09-05:00

Hell my unit SOP was shirt tail tucked under chin and shorts down to the knees. We had so many people at one time contaminating their piss test to give themselves time to clear their system of drugs that they had to change the SOap

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 6 at 2016 1:02 AM

2016-03-06T01:02:13-05:00

Once while in the kitchen office a friend of mine as talking to me and this other airman about doing the nasty with her husband. The younger airman decided to make a joke about Kevin Gates and eating booty. My friend turned around and said extremely loudly "boy I'd would definitely eat the hell out my hubby's Booty hole sideways! I love him!" Right as our then NCOIC, who was also a female, walked in the door.

Our boss paused and starred at us looking at her akwardy then said "y'all new airmen got serious issues".

I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe.

Response by SFC Dennis Coleman made Mar 6 at 2016 7:47 AM

2016-03-06T07:47:54-05:00

When we was giving a piss test and a female Sgt was the pee person to collect the samples and she had to hold the cup for a troop that couldn't and he peed all over the cup over her hand and it was funny looking at her standing there as he peed

Response by SGT Justin Lancaster made Mar 6 at 2016 8:31 AM

2016-03-06T08:31:57-05:00

A guy in my battalion drew the same piss observer 3 times over 4 or 5 months. After he pissed he gets called into the commanders office. The observer noted that the last 2 times this individual was not circumcised but now he is. Now, this is secondhand, but the Sergeant Major who was sitting quietly through the questioning, stands up and yells "Mazel tov!" Further investigation produced a fake penis, albeit circumsized, purchased to cheat the test.

Response by CPL Grover Wilkinson made Mar 6 at 2016 4:01 PM

2016-03-06T16:01:54-05:00

Stationed all over, but loved two years in Germany.

Response by SMSgt Ed Turney made Mar 6 at 2016 8:44 PM

2016-03-06T20:44:07-05:00

Stealing the Anchor at a Shipwreck Party in Keflavik Iceland in 1970. Hidden in the USAF Alert area at the end of runway. Now the secret is out after 45 years. Whoo Hoo

Response by SFC Raymond Thibault made Mar 6 at 2016 8:49 PM

2016-03-06T20:49:48-05:00

Having to shower with 7 women because we were all exposed to something that had to be removed Immediately. Northern Iraq 1991, and I knew all of them, members of my Unit In Germany. Got a few offers and much respect for not touching or making comment on any of these young ladies. I was an SFC, they were all PFCs and SP4s. Auckward. But Ordered by a full Colonel Medical Expert. God Bless him.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 6 at 2016 11:54 PM

2016-03-06T23:54:08-05:00

So I was on my second CQ shift at my old unit-but the first one my kids had had to endure and my youngest had major separation anxiety. The Sgt on duty with me allowed us to eat dinner together in the lobby area, so the boyfruend brought them and pizza. Right before they arrive, the CSM comes in for a walkthrough and to talk to some of the NCOs living in the barracks about making improvements. as he's seated with them, talking, in walks my bf and my two sons. The youngest tried to bolt for the back door. I went after him, at which point he tries to hide behind the NCOs, finally running up to the CSM and sitting in his lap. I froze and I think my heart quit for a second as my son said to the bald CSM "Your head is shiny." I didn't know whether to laugh or find a hole to crawl into. Thankfully, he laughed his head off, said he was aboout his grandkid's age, and that was it.

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 7 at 2016 8:13 AM

2016-03-07T08:13:50-05:00

Basic training at lackland, we were training on stopping threats who were coming towards a mock ecp, where there were multiple scenarios we were supposed to respond to. Well in one scenario they guy has a gun, and the guy that is being tested clearly uses english as a second language. Well we get to the part where he's yelling to 'put your gun on the ground,' but instead he yells "THROW the weapon onto the ground." Naturally this enrages the T.I. who screams at him "throw your weapon onto the ground? Why dont you just tell him to throw it as far as he can?!" Without skipping a beat the trainee screams "throw your weapon as far as you can!" Just as quickly, the trainee playing the hostile in the scenario does exactly that and all the T.I.s had to try to hide their faces while they laughed uncontrollably, along with everybody else there. Eventually one of the T.I.s managed to regain his composure long enough to give him a verbal lashing, but we could all still see the tears in his eyes from the laughing. Deffinitely my favorite bmt moment.

Response by SFC James Himes made Jan 18 at 2018 11:31 AM

2018-01-18T11:31:04-05:00

I was stationed at Anderson Air Base Guam. I was getting posted and had an issue with my dog. While correcting the dog the truck drove off with the rest of my gear, bag and rifle. Called on one of the land lines so as not to broadcast it over the radio. During that time we had an alarm drop on one of the nuke storage bunkers (turned out to be false but not known then). Truck comes back out and driver tells me the duty NCO wants to talk to me about losing my weapon. Ask the driver if he is staying on my post since we are in an alert status now. Driver says he has to patrol and can't stay. I tell him to give me my rifle and the NCO can come out to me. Driver says he can't so I say well if you want to keep my rifle you can have my dog too. So I tell Sport "up" and the dog jumps into the drivers lap eager to go for a ride. I drop the leash and walk around the truck to get my rifle I saw setting in the passenger side. Driver is freaking out screaming for me to get the dog off him. Open passenger door. Get my rifle and call Sport. "Guess he don't want you".
The NCO comes out on post and starts spewing all sorts of obscenities at me about who I thought I was. Disobeying a direct order and so on. I explained that I could not leave post without being properly relieved, especially since we were in an alert status. He continues to berate me and at that point I tell him if he continues to rant like an animal I can't be responsible for the actions of my dog who thinks I am being threatened (while I tug at Sports leash to get him alerted) NCO says "you wouldn't dare" I respond "I can't be held responsible if you continue to act like that. NCO says he will report me and have me thrown out of SPs.
End of story is the base NCO duty that night was a SMSgt who, first loved the K9s and second had more common sense straightened it all out and the NCO was relieved of his duty and out of SPs.