What makes a gentleman a gentleman? Ladies, please feel free to chime in. How do we teach "old-fashioned" values in a modern world?

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 13:00:47 -0400

Response by SSgt Alex Robinson made Aug 24 at 2015 1:01 PM

SSgt Alex Robinson — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 13:01:40 -0400

The way he treats others. Plain and simple. With respect and dignity

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 24 at 2015 1:04 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 13:04:18 -0400

Always take the moral high ground, and act with pure intentions.

Response by SGT Ben Keen made Aug 24 at 2015 1:08 PM

SGT Ben Keen — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 13:08:55 -0400

How do we teach these values? Easy, demonstrate them! I make sure that every time I see my son that I tell him the importance of treating everyone with respect and be an example for others. And he is taking well to the lessons most of the time. He'll open doors and make way for others. He still has his moments but for a 10 year old I feel he is doing well.

Response by COL Mikel J. Burroughs made Aug 24 at 2015 1:23 PM

COL Mikel J. Burroughs — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 13:23:35 -0400

LTC Private RallyPoint Member For me it’s real easy. If it doesn't pass the "common sense" test then don't do it, don't say it, don't act like it, and learn when to keep your mouth shut. It is very hard for men to do that nowadays, but I believe that is the secret to success and being a gentleman. Another piece of advise is quit thinking about yourself when you react and do things or getting ready to say something. Think about the other people around you. I’ve found that mean or women that are rude are usually only thinking about “Me” or “I” and not the others around them or what affect their actions or words will have. For me it always has a lot to do with how you were brought up and I can tell you my parents were very strict about manners and I passed that down to my girls as well. There are times that I have to correct them, but for the most part they get it. Just image if we could the rest of the world to be ladies and gentlemen with really good manners and compassion. Wow! Please and thank you!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 24 at 2015 1:34 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 13:34:15 -0400

I would say that being better than what you were. Something like this was said on the Kingsman Movie. It was not about being better than the others around you. You should want to better yourself. When you refine yourself enough you will become a gentleman. There isn't a standard of society that you can use to attain this status. Society will always change. A gentlemen is a timeless status that is reserved for the best of us.

Response by CW4 Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 24 at 2015 1:42 PM

CW4 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 13:42:56 -0400

LTC Private RallyPoint Member to echo SGT Ben Keen, you have to lead by example. Hopefully you were raised in a household that taught you great values and respect and that you have maintained those attributes and enhanced them through your own experiences in life both personally and professionally. It is not unheard of to teach someone values and professional attributes at a later stage in life, it’s just harder to do so.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 24 at 2015 2:01 PM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 14:01:55 -0400

I am chivalrous and try my hardest to be a gentleman. That said it is difficult because sometimes such acts are viewed as sexist.

I hold doors for women, but guess what? I hold them for men as well. Of course the level of chivalry depends on the circumstance. If I'm on a date with my wife I open the car door for her, pull out her seat in the restaurant, stand up if she gets up, etc.

Many women however view this as misogynist behavior though and it makes it hard. The problem is that having equal rights and being treated equally does go against chivalry to a certain extent. In my opinion though it isn't in a negative way. Separating this is near impossible.

Response by Sgt Kelli Mays made Aug 24 at 2015 2:03 PM

Sgt Kelli Mays — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 14:03:26 -0400

To treat others in a kind way....

Response by CMSgt Mark Schubert made Aug 24 at 2015 2:15 PM

CMSgt Mark Schubert — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 14:15:30 -0400

A considerate, kind, compassionate, controlled male who puts the desires of others above his own.

Response by COL Jean (John) F. B. made Aug 24 at 2015 3:24 PM

COL Jean (John) F. B. — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 15:24:31 -0400

LTC Private RallyPoint Member - "What makes a gentleman an gentleman?"... Good upbringing, setting the proper example, and treating people with dignity and respect.

I was raised as a gentleman and I raised both of my sons to be gentlemen as well. I am now stressing to my son the importance of ensuring my grandson is one, as well.

Having said that, it is just as important that a girl/woman learns to be a lady.

Wouldn't it be nice when you hear someone address a crowd, "Ladies and Gentlemen", the majority of the folks hearing it actually were what those words imply? More and more, I fear, the numbers of ladies and gentlemen in our society are dwindling and will soon be extinct.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Aug 24 at 2015 3:29 PM

Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS — Mon, 24 Aug 2015 15:29:17 -0400

Rather than set the Example, be the Ideal. Strive everyday to get a little bit better.

Response by SSG Trust Palmer made Aug 25 at 2015 7:18 AM

SSG Trust Palmer — Tue, 25 Aug 2015 07:18:09 -0400

I don't think chivalry is dead. My guy still opens doors and talks to me with respect. As women we must treat our men with the same respect. It all starts with respect. SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4"

Response by SSG Trust Palmer made Aug 25 at 2015 7:25 AM

SSG Trust Palmer — Tue, 25 Aug 2015 07:25:27 -0400

This is way too funny. SSG James J. Palmer IV aka "JP4"