What kind of Stories did you used to tell your father to get him to give you money?

Sgt Kelli Mays — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 12:21:42 -0400

A young Arkie goes off to college. Half way through the semester, having foolishly squandered all of his money on his girlfriend, he calls home.

"Dad," he says, "You won't believe what modern education is
developing! They actually have a program here at Hendrix that will
teach our dog, Ole' Blue how to talk!"

"That's amazing," his Dad says. "How do I get Ole' Blue in that program?"

"Just send him over here with $1,000" the young Arkie says "and I'll get him in the course."

So, his Father sends the dog and $1,000.

About two-thirds of the way through the semester,the money again runs out. The boy calls home.

"So how's Ole' Blue doing son?" his Father asks.

"Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says,

"but you just won't believe this they've had such good results they
have started to teach the animals how to read!"

"Read!?" says his Father, "No kidding! How do we get Blue in that program?"

"Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."

The money promptly arrives. The Arkie and his girlfriend are able to buy enough marijuana to last the whole semester. But our hero has a problem.

At the end of the year, his Father will find out the dog can neither
talk, nor read. Even though he was always pretty

much able to lie his way out of trouble, the Arkie asked his
girlfriend to help him think of a really good lie to tell his Dad.

She very quickly came up with a plan for him.

So she has him shoot the dog.

When he arrives home at the end of the year, his Father is all excited.

"Where's Ole' Blue? I just can't wait to see him read something and talk!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news.

Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole'

Blue was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the
Wall Street Journal, like he usually does".

"Then Ole' Blue turned to me and asked, so, is your Daddy still
messing around with that little redhead who lives down the street?"

The Father went white and exclaimed, "I hope you shot that lying damn dog before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!" "That's my boy!"

Response by 1stSgt Jeff Blovat made Sep 19 at 2015 12:31 PM

1stSgt Jeff Blovat — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 12:31:31 -0400

Loved it

Response by SSgt Terry P. made Sep 19 at 2015 12:31 PM

SSgt Terry P. — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 12:31:57 -0400

I love that Sgt Kelli Mays Great start for the day.LOL

Response by Cpl James Waycasie made Sep 19 at 2015 12:37 PM

Cpl James Waycasie — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 12:37:05 -0400

None. That didn't work on my Father. I always asked if there was something I could do to earn some. He would ask how much I was looking to earn, I'd tell him and he would assign me work. Wash and wax his car, mow the lawn, etc. He would always say " nothing in life is free ; you have to earn it."

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Sep 19 at 2015 12:39 PM

LTC Stephen F. — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 12:39:48 -0400

I don't remember telling my dad any specific stories - probably did my best to cajole him when I was young for some specific toy or candy but I don;t think I made up any stories.
When he was older he would give each of his children and our spouses $10,000 per year which was the maximum gift the IRS allowed in the 1990's. My dad was not wealthy; but, he was wise in his investments and generous to all.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Sep 19 at 2015 12:49 PM

SN Greg Wright — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 12:49:47 -0400

Sgt Kelli Mays C'mon Sarge, you can't ask that without telling YOUR method! :)

Response by LTC Bink Romanick made Sep 19 at 2015 1:39 PM

LTC Bink Romanick — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 13:39:29 -0400

Sgt Kelli Mays back when when I was in college I never asked for any my dad was a CW4 and we didn't have much money, but I asked for money for a year book several times. Finally after several yearbook checks., he said "you only get one yearbook in a year, not a five volume set.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Sep 19 at 2015 3:08 PM

Capt Seid Waddell — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 15:08:26 -0400

We all had chores that we were expected to do, and we got a small allowance for doing them. Then on New Year's Day and the 4th of July my father would match the amount we had saved to teach us to save. That worked until my sister - who saved all of her money - made the doubling too expensive and Dad had to quit doing that.

If we needed anything beyond that, honesty was the only thing that worked. Lies got the lash.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 19 at 2015 3:21 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 19 Sep 2015 15:21:07 -0400

My dad was a 50's era Marine. He could smell BS from 10 clicks out. So, I just asked for cash.

Response by CH (MAJ) Thomas Conner made Sep 24 at 2015 4:26 PM

CH (MAJ) Thomas Conner — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 16:26:47 -0400

I was raised by foster parents, but my "dad" never had any money, he got his from my "mom"! The one way I could get money was to work for it! IF confession is good for the soul, then I will admit the other way I got money was to steal it from my "mom." I eventually got caught and the consequences were very effective in making me stop!