What is your greatest failure, and what did you learn from it?

1SG DeyShuan Shepherd — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 11:14:33 -0400

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 25 at 2014 11:46 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 11:46:02 -0400

My greatest failure was not placing more emphasis on military and civilian education when I first entered the Army. I was the typical SGT who complained about the cut off scores not coming down to my point level, instead of doing the right thing and raising my point level to match the cut off scores. I believe the word i'm looking for is "procrastination".

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 25 at 2014 11:58 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 11:58:32 -0400

Two of my soldiers committed suicide, after I left going to
another location. When things like that happen you question everything about
yourself. I learned that there was probably nothing I could have did to save
them. But I always try to know what's going on with the people around me. I would
love to be the one person who made a difference in another person’s choice for life.
Because my soldiers and their families are like relative to me. And incidents
like that take a toll on a unit.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 25 at 2014 12:11 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 12:11:47 -0400

My greatest learning experience was during ANCOC. While in the leadership position I tried to schedule an event democratically.......quite stupid of me!!!! When in charge, take charge, do not attempt democracy. Rather, be a dictator because you will not please everyone.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 25 at 2014 10:08 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 22:08:26 -0400

My greatest lesson learned came when I was a SPC in the Honor Guard. At the time, I was fortunate enough to try out for the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier at Arlington Cemetery. The training cycle is very demanding and very exacting, with virtually no room for error. It normally takes Soldiers a few months to complete the training, and it has a very high attrition rate. Most Soldiers in training don't make it past the first two weeks. It is an all volunteer platoon for the Tomb Sentinels and when I started, I didn't fully understand/appreciate the significance of being able to try out. I didn't volunteer, but instead was one of the occasional "hey, you" volun-told Soldiers to go to training because we couldn't let the company look bad for not sending anyone. I had the option to leave on day 1, but I said I was willing to give it a shot.

Long story short, I was about 1.5-2 months done with training, and I had already planned my wedding for many months before. They let me take leave to attend my wedding, and when I came back from leave my wife and I were buying our first house together. I didn't think I would have enough time to juggle both, so I asked to be removed from training if I could come back at a later date. My PSG understood, and even though he said we could figure out a way to work it out, I decided to end my training.

About 6 months later, a buddy of mine (from the training) told me about an upcoming training cycle. I was all about getting back there, even though I would have to start from scratch. When I showed up, the only thing I was missing was my counseling packet. I went back to my company during breakfast to get it, and my 1SG saw me not in the formation to go to the range. I didn't realize it, but he apparently didn't want me to go back because in his eyes I blew my chance by quitting the first time. I guess he also didn't realize I went over that morning because when I told him what I was doing, I got a stern "talking to" and found myself on the way to the range in the next 30 min.

The lesson I got out of this was to never quit something you want to accomplish. The only person that can stop you from achieving your goals is you (unless you quit and your 1SG wont let you go back, lol). That has been my biggest regret of my military career. I doubted myself, even when my PSG, my squad leader, my team members, and my wife all supported me and said we could figure out a way to make it work. Since then, I have never quit anything else I set out to do, even when I felt overwhelmed. I could have been a Tomb Sentinel, Tomb Guard Badge #513. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I blew it because I doubted myself.

Sorry this was so long, I'll get off my soap box now.

Response by SFC Billy Bason made Mar 26 at 2014 2:35 AM

SFC Billy Bason — Wed, 26 Mar 2014 02:35:05 -0400

My greatest failure...placing too much emphasis on the Army (was Active Duty-Transferred into Reserves).

I've always been engaged in anything and everything Army related. I've done multiple deployments with one year between them to remain at home. My 2009-2010 deployment was too much for my (now) ex-wife.

By the time I'd figured out that I was doing the marriage thing wrong, it was too late. Needless to say, the marriage failed. Financial difficulties arose. A house was involved. Bankruptcy took place.

With bankruptcy, it's hard as hell to find somewhere to live. I couldn't get an apartment for my sons and I, on my own.

What I learned. The family support of siblings and parents truly matters. Without them, I can't imagine what I would have done. I remember everything as if it were yesterday.

I went to the last place in my kids' school district to apply for a rental apartment. The lady said that she wasn't certain that bankruptcy would keep me from renting and to fill out the application.

I filled it out, but there was a processing fee of $100. I didn't have two nickels to rub together to pay her. I thanked her for her time and started to head out to the car. At that moment, my sister came into the office. She had come to pick up a key for her stepdaughter (total coincidence). The lady explained to my sister why I was there. She paid the $100 for me. At that very moment, a townhouse apartment just became available that was backed by woods and a pond....for the same price as one that was surrounded by buildings. We rode over to look at it. I wanted it!

Dad Cosigned for me to be able to have a place to live. I had nothing to put into the apartment. The only furnishings stayed with the ex. My bosses' daughter knew of my situation and without asking me, she asked her church folks to help me out. I had an entirely furnished apartment in three days.

I ended up getting the Dining room table and chairs as well as a China cabinet from my ex. Dad came by to check progress on my new place and quickly noticed my empty cabinet. He laughed and took me to his place. We went upstairs and he did some digging through his closets. He handed me a few boxes. It was my grandma's China set. Both sets of my grand parents passed away shortly after I was born, so I didn't get to speak with them. Dad said, " Grandma always thought these would come in handy. Take them...they're yours now."

My sister came back and helped organize, decorate and purchased things like curtains for me. She made the apartment look like a real home for my sons and I. She also spoke with me many times to offer encouragement and provide counsel. I'd always looked up to her, but now things have changed. She's a strong, independent woman who completely amazes me. I am so proud to have her in my life.

So really, what I learned, is that my apartment and my China cabinet are filled with love...coming from the people who matter in my life. Can one man make it on his own? Sure, but without family, he'd never be complete.

Guys and gals, it's fine to be focused on your career, but never ever, take the people in your life for granted. Family should always be the primary focus. If you are married, take the time to maintain and strengthen your relationship. If you don't continue to have date nights, or swoon when your significant other steps into the room, you're doing it wrong. A stagnant marriage will only worsen.

I'm happily dating a beautiful lady and I make every effort to thank her and appreciate each thing she does for me. It's the little things. The little things matter. Family matters. The Army will keep on going without you. Your relationship will not. Think about that.