What is your favorite "Safety Briefing"?

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 15:42:58 -0400

We all have that one NCO or Officer that gives the greatest Safety Brief ever, gets the point across and makes you leave laughing and repeating it to yourself so you can use it on your next safety brief.

Some of these will probably get good, I think the Infantry guys do it the best, so open this post at your own risk.

Response by GySgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 25 at 2014 4:12 PM

GySgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 16:12:48 -0400

You better be wearing your PPE during sexual engagements!

Response by SGT Bryon Sergent made Mar 25 at 2014 4:37 PM

SGT Bryon Sergent — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 16:37:36 -0400

<p>When I was at Ft. Campbell in the early 90, we had BN SGM Hatcher. 6'8" black Gentelmen. His 5 Point safety brief for the what ever:</p><p>1. If you drink don't drive</p><p>2. If you drive don't drink</p><p>3.If you swim don't Drown</p><p>4. stay away from the panther piss</p><p>5. Stay the F*&K off my blotter report. </p><p>DISMISSED!</p>

Response by SGT James Elphick made Mar 25 at 2014 4:47 PM

SGT James Elphick — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 16:47:20 -0400

I had a SFC who gave the weekend safety brief in about 30 seconds flat. I don't remember the whole thing but I remember this: "If you drink, don't drive, if you drive, don't drink. If you get in a fight kick that M*****F*****s ass and don't stick around to check out your handy work."

Also there is a military clothing co. on facebook called "Gruntworks" that has someone named 1SG Bullwinkle who posts a Weekend Safety Brief that is almost always good for a laugh or 2

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 25 at 2014 4:59 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 16:59:33 -0400

I miss the old Infantry safety briefs. They were short, simple, and to the point. Don't do something you wouldn't do in front of the CO/1SG/your grandma, etc. Don't drink/drive. Dont beat your wife. If you are underage, don't go outside the barracks if you are drunk, and never invite MPs into the barracks. If you do get in trouble, have a battle buddy and don't get caught.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 25 at 2014 5:08 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 17:08:37 -0400

One of the better ones was in Korea. Two things my last CDR would say is 1) If you find Mr/Ms Right tonight, don't forget MOPP Level 4 and 2) If your date takes you into post housing then get out of the car and RUN!!! Because only two types of females live in post housing: wives and underage daughters. :O

Response by CSM Michael Poll made Mar 25 at 2014 5:16 PM

CSM Michael Poll — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 17:16:06 -0400

Had a First Sergeant say, "Remember the shit I said last weekend? Same shit this weekend!  DISMISSED!"  Awesome!

Response by SGT Kristopher Lather made Mar 25 at 2014 5:57 PM

SGT Kristopher Lather — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 17:57:05 -0400

I will never forget 1SG Haun, (2003-2004) would always give us the standard Safety Brief, except the part where he would say, "If you get into a fight, make sure you win, because if I have to come in on my time off, and you lost the fight, I'm gonna scuff you up"

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 25 at 2014 6:08 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 18:08:12 -0400

"Don't do stupid shit."
- 1SG Underhill

Response by SPC Sarah Sattelberg made Mar 25 at 2014 6:26 PM

SPC Sarah Sattelberg — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 18:26:45 -0400

Don't drink and drive.....uh Sarah will you marry me. My husband asked me to marry him while giving a safety brief hahah

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 25 at 2014 7:09 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 19:09:25 -0400

SSG White,

My favorite was from SGM Nathan Espey, who (at the time) was my First Sergeant in AIT at HQ&A, 73rd Ordnance, 15th Signal Brigade, Fort Gordon.

"When you're out having fun this weekend, remember the Grandma Rule. What's the Grandma Rule? If you're about to do something and you don't know if you should do it, picture your Grandma sitting next to you. Would you do it in front of your Grandma? If the answer is yes, then picture somebody else's Grandma, 'cause your Grandma gets down like that."

Response by CSM Michael J. Uhlig made Mar 25 at 2014 9:51 PM

CSM Michael J. Uhlig — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 21:51:11 -0400

We've got a challenge out there for our units to come up with something new, something unique....to break out of the typical don't do this and that safety briefing so several Soldiers (across all ranks) got involved in making a rap....take a look:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usrFiobtYFk

this is from one of the companies within the BN

Proverbs - I Got Your Back (Official Video) Shot By: @MDCProduction

[To have video shot by MDCP contact at [login to see] ] [For music Production contact @ [login to see] ]

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 25 at 2014 10:33 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 25 Mar 2014 22:33:33 -0400

Don't do stupid stuff. (possibly end safety brief right there)

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 26 at 2014 6:17 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 26 Mar 2014 06:17:43 -0400

Years ago, an old 1SG in the 82nd used to say, "if you drink, don't drive. If you drive, don't drink. And if you fly, take an airplane."

Response by MSG Wade Huffman made Apr 4 at 2014 7:48 AM

MSG Wade Huffman — Fri, 04 Apr 2014 07:48:15 -0400

One of my favorite CSMs (he was Field Artillery by the way) would always wrap up every safety briefing with "and remember... when you rise... condomize!!!

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 4 at 2014 8:00 AM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 04 Apr 2014 08:00:53 -0400

Had a 1SG when I was younger (now Retired CSM William Burns) some of you may know or heard of. When he took over, he sat us all down and gave us his philosiphy. Wasn't your typical powerpoint stuff you see almost everytime though. He spoke about discipline and the way roman warriors conducted business. He told us about how when they were disciplined they were made to stand in a square and they were then taken care of appropriately. He laind out everything that would land a wariior (us as Soldiers) in such a box. You know the typical, drinking and driving, drugs, abuse all the same things we have heard over and over. In his office he used masking tape to put a box on the floor in front of his desk. You could go into his office, even if it was for a meeting, but you didn't go near that damn box!! Weekly he would hold that same brief for all newcomers. On Friday (or the last day of the week) he would hold closeout formation, talk to us very briefly, address anything that needed immediate attention then call us to attention. He would then say "what's the safety brief" and we would all reply "stay out of the box 1SG!!" Couldn't have asked for a better 1SG or a shorter effective safety brief.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 4 at 2014 8:16 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 04 Apr 2014 08:16:13 -0400

My current commander has his little phrase. Don't know if he made it up or got it from somewhere but its very simple... "Don't do NACHOS!.. you know Nacho wife, Nacho husband, Nacho car, Nacho fight.. etc.. just don't do it." I found it funny the first time. Now I hear it every weekend it seems like.

When I give my safety brief to my troops its very simple.. "Don't do Stupid.. You are all adults, act like it. I'm not a babysitter and I don't do stupid well. Have a good weekend!"

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 4 at 2014 3:50 PM

CW2 Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 04 Apr 2014 15:50:16 -0400

My favorite is the one that isn't given because the unit trusts that they are adults. Because no safety brief has EVER stopped a Soldier from doing something stupid. My Friday safety brief to my company for 16 months was - don't do anything stupid, just like you haven't been doing anything stupid for X months. Not one time did I get a call on the weekend. <div><br></div><div>Look at that - I never gave some stupid, trying to be funny safety brief (except one time I was told to specifically put out some facts about STDs), and nothing happened in my unit worth worrying about.</div><div><br></div><div>I hate the entire concept of the safety brief. It's ridiculous.</div>

Response by SFC Stephen P. made Apr 4 at 2014 4:31 PM

SFC Stephen P. — Fri, 04 Apr 2014 16:31:38 -0400

My former PSG in one breath, "Don't smoke dope, chew rope, fight, f%&$, or drive a truck".

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 8 at 2014 7:35 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 08 Apr 2014 19:35:52 -0400

Of course I loved having an old CSM use: "if you are going to go AWOL, do us a favor and lay all your TA-50 out in the barracks first.  It makes it easier for us to account for it."

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made May 2 at 2014 2:35 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 02 May 2014 14:35:39 -0400

I think we can utilize the 10-15 minutes on Fridays for a lot more than warning Soldiers not to get in trouble on the weekend. Mission Command is about mutual trust, and I don't think giving a weekend safety brief communicates trust. Soldiers shouldn't have to be reminded of the rules every weekend.

What about using the time allotted for safety briefs to talk about unit heritage, character, or at least recognize some positive things that a Soldier did during the week?

I wrote about it last year, and I'm interested in hearing feedback if you have any.

It's called: The Weekend Safety Brief Must Go!

The Weekend Safety Brief Must Go!

By: Joe Byerly One of the first principles of the philosophy of Mission Command is “Build Cohesive Teams Through Mutual Trust,” and I would argue that the antithesis of this is standing in front of...

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 27 at 2014 12:18 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 27 Jun 2014 00:18:58 -0400

This is my personal favorite: http://goo.gl/0ioJCf

It's the longest, most boring, safety brief in the history of the U.S. Army....

LOL!

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Jun 27 at 2014 6:47 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Fri, 27 Jun 2014 18:47:09 -0400

... And if any wildlife crosses the range do not shoot at it. This includes anything that slithers, walks or flies into the zone between the red range flags... and the scene from, "Stripes" flashes through my head.

Response by CPT Jacob Swartout made Sep 6 at 2014 11:46 AM

CPT Jacob Swartout — Sat, 06 Sep 2014 11:46:43 -0400

From a 1SG, "If you think it's wrong, it probably is wrong so don't do it. Be safe this weekend, PSGs take charge" That was it and we were dismissed.

Response by SFC Nestor Nievesmoran made Sep 9 at 2014 12:35 PM

SFC Nestor Nievesmoran — Tue, 09 Sep 2014 12:35:52 -0400

If you meet someone and decide to play on the rain wear a rain coat, stay away if it smell worse than your foot. Do not try to dry your high & tight with the hair dryer while you are at the shower.

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Sep 12 at 2014 11:46 PM

SFC Mark Merino — Fri, 12 Sep 2014 23:46:22 -0400

"Act like your mom was with you. Because if you hit the blotter, I'm calling mom!"

Response by MSG Greg Kelly made Nov 21 at 2014 5:48 PM

MSG Greg Kelly — Fri, 21 Nov 2014 17:48:46 -0500

I cannot type what was said during the safety briefings I recall as being the best I had heard but two guys always said the same things at the end of each one. But they were given by my PSG John Reading.

The one I recall as laughing about all day was in Iraq. Something happened to our PSG after we were hit with an IED. He just changed no shame in it but he lost his nerve and started trying to avoid contact. He had us assigned to PSD which was still OK I guess. Well he was giving a brief and said if we make contact we would fall back to a point of what ever. Well he did not know one of the folks we were taking to Tala Far was the BDE XO it took him about a second to say negative we are a combat unit and if we engaged we will maintain contact until the fucking bad guys are dead, run off or support arrives is that understood. He roger'd up and I just climbed up on the Hummer laughing to getting on my gun.

Response by SFC Michael Jackson, MBA made Dec 11 at 2014 10:33 AM

SFC Michael Jackson, MBA — Thu, 11 Dec 2014 10:33:09 -0500

My favorite was the 4Ds briefing. Don't do drugs, Drink and Drive, Domestic Violence, and anything other Dumb shit. if you have trouble with the last one, say it out loud. If its sounds dumb, it is. Dismissed

Response by SPC Elijah J. Henry, MBA made Mar 21 at 2015 8:55 AM

SPC Elijah J. Henry, MBA — Sat, 21 Mar 2015 08:55:09 -0400

I've heard some pretty good ones. Our Drill Sergeant when we were about to leave for Family Day in Infantry OSUT instructed us to "Go make babies, Privates!" His exact words.

An E-7 18D made sure to give the safety brief for a full half hour, every single time. Once he gave us detailed safety instructions on every single weapon he could think of -- including nunchaku and crossbows.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 30 at 2015 3:30 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 30 Mar 2015 03:30:44 -0400

From a CSM, "if you drink & drive and you die & I find out you were drinking & driving, I will find your grave & piss on it."

Response by ENS Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 31 at 2015 12:53 AM

ENS Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 31 Mar 2015 00:53:22 -0400

EVERY SAFETY BRIEFING!!!

I'm the DET safety officer in our Reserve unit. I'm responsible for presenting monthly safety talks. Topics usually correlate with the time of year. March was hotel safety, April is boat safety. It's very dry material, but with the help of memes, Pokemon, and a few other pop culture artwork examples the topic can be fun and memorable.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jul 24 at 2015 8:02 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Fri, 24 Jul 2015 20:02:53 -0400

no glove no love

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 8 at 2015 2:18 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 14:18:34 -0400

My favorite and shortest one to date. On a Marine Camp in Korea and a Marine MAJ came out to brief. It went exactly like this: Don't F**k Up!!! Direct Order!! Dismissed!! THose were better days

Response by TSgt Noah Kleugh made Oct 16 at 2015 10:54 AM

TSgt Noah Kleugh — Fri, 16 Oct 2015 10:54:26 -0400

My all time favorite safety briefing was: Don't drink and park, accidents cause children.

Response by MSgt Daniel Attilio made Oct 30 at 2015 2:23 PM

MSgt Daniel Attilio — Fri, 30 Oct 2015 14:23:56 -0400

I think the best I received wasn't even a safety brief. It was simple and memorable, this was 1996ish or so. It was end of day Friday and SSgt huddled us together looked at us and said "You are wasting my time, I am wasting yours, there is liberty to be had, DISMISSED!"
Poof we were gone.

Response by SSgt Donnavon Smith made Nov 18 at 2015 1:06 PM

SSgt Donnavon Smith — Wed, 18 Nov 2015 13:06:04 -0500

No longer applicable, "Don't do dudes, and don't do dudes wives"

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 18 at 2016 1:08 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 18 Jan 2016 01:08:17 -0500

A two at ten is a ten at two.
Wrap it before you tap it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do because if you do you'll get caught.

Response by SGT Andrew Goetsch made Jan 19 at 2016 1:36 PM

SGT Andrew Goetsch — Tue, 19 Jan 2016 13:36:39 -0500

Rappelling and cliff climbing with the 2/39 near Mt. Rainier.
"If you fall off that damn cliff and break both your legs, don't come running to me."

Response by CSM William DeWolf made Jan 26 at 2016 10:19 AM

CSM William DeWolf — Tue, 26 Jan 2016 10:19:13 -0500

Arriving at Ft. Polk, LA in 1969 for AIT INF, a crusty old 1SG gave a safety briefing saying "If y'all came drove down here from the north, you know there are only two good roads in the whole state of LA and they both run east and west. So they didn't do you any good getting here. This is an open range state so, if there is a cow or pig on the highway, they have just as much right to be there as you do! However, if it is a hoarse, no farmer will claim it! They will just say that it came over from TX! Hilarious, to say the least!

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 26 at 2016 12:51 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 26 Jan 2016 12:51:22 -0500

"Don't do anything that is going to get me called in the middle of the night. If I have to come down to the PD at 0200 to get you, I'm bringing an ass kicking with me"

Response by SrA Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2016 11:44 AM

SrA Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 26 Feb 2016 11:44:57 -0500

Back at Tech School we had a civilian named Mr. Nutt, he was prior Army. He told us "Wear a latex before you get that I'm Late text."

Response by SPC Casey Ashfield made Dec 28 at 2016 2:41 PM

SPC Casey Ashfield — Wed, 28 Dec 2016 14:41:41 -0500

"Don't add to or subtract from the population. Dismissed."

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 8 at 2017 7:50 PM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 08 Dec 2017 19:50:30 -0500

Before Liberty Call in the PI we used to get a list of places (or areas) that were off limits. Then we’re told not to get “engaged” as the Division Officer would not be approving any dependents.

Response by Maj John Bell made Oct 12 at 2019 11:29 PM

Maj John Bell — Sat, 12 Oct 2019 23:29:08 -0400

"Don't be a dumbass... dumbasses."