What is your favorite "Officer vs. NCO" anecdote?

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 13 May 2014 09:12:57 -0400

Give us your best Officers vs. NCOs anecdote. Can be anything, but stay professional.

Response by MAJ Steve Sheridan made May 13 at 2014 9:17 AM

MAJ Steve Sheridan — Tue, 13 May 2014 09:17:01 -0400

Can't think of any right now, but look forward to hearing from the peanut gallery.

At this stage in my career, I'm privileged to be working with lots of mid to sr level NCOs. We're one team one fight.

Response by SGT Gary Gration made May 13 at 2014 9:51 AM

SGT Gary Gration — Tue, 13 May 2014 09:51:08 -0400

Had the chance to spike a volley ball in Maj Gen Div Commander's face in Desert Storm at PT. I chickened out. Probably wouldn't have been a good career move!

Response by SFC Craig Dalen made May 13 at 2014 11:19 AM

SFC Craig Dalen — Tue, 13 May 2014 11:19:28 -0400

Officers vs. NCO's golf scramble. Top 3 out of 13 teams NCO's!! NCO's lead the way!!!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 14 at 2014 7:56 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 14 May 2014 19:56:11 -0400

Senior NCOs are smarter than junior officers because junior officers come out of college saying "In class, we learned how to lead from a book"... NCOs say "In the real world, we learned how to lead from our experiences..."

Response by CMSgt James Nolan made May 23 at 2014 7:53 PM

CMSgt James Nolan — Fri, 23 May 2014 19:53:59 -0400

Since it is in good fun....
Senior NCO to young troops-Don't call me Sir, I work for a living!
BWAHAHA.
Of course, some 28 years later, I was in a position to be comparing apples to apples (paychecks) with a LtCol who is a very close friend, with same amount of TIS that I have, I was E-7 at time, his take home while deployed was fully double what mine was. And to be clear-I was working!
He had that last laugh. It is not all about the money, but money does matter (try paying your bills without it!).
I encourage my guys to follow their hearts-if that means seeking a commission, go for it. If they do, to never forget where they came from, the struggles of Troops, the sacrifices of the NCO Corps, who carries the service on their back. There is just no substitute for a solid NCO.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made May 23 at 2014 7:58 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 23 May 2014 19:58:16 -0400

E comes before O and 7 is higher than 2 as a kind-hearted platoon sergeant once enlightened me.

Response by CMC Robert Young made May 23 at 2014 8:54 PM

CMC Robert Young — Fri, 23 May 2014 20:54:26 -0400

We were doing a multi-unit contingency exercise that involved a mobile high value marine asset. A young ensign (O1) was supposed to serve as one of the evaluators. I was a chief (E7 - a position accorded much respect in the maritime services) at the time and had known him earlier as an E5. I took great joy in reminding him of that.

As the morning's evolution was about to kick off, the ensign's ride to the "asset" didn't materialize as planned. He was in a panic, and running around the dock like a mad man trying to determine the best way to get off shore to his assigned position before the exercise started. I was dockside preping my crew for the festivities as we were one of the OPFOR boats, and was more than enjoying the young man's mayhem. After several chaotic minutes, he spied me at the end of the dock, and came running to our boat...."Chief, they surgically removed my ability to make common decisions at OCS. What should I do?"

"Get on the boat sir. We'll get you there."

Point Enlisted!!

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made May 23 at 2014 9:01 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 23 May 2014 21:01:59 -0400

As some of you may know I was enlisted for about 10 years and got up to being a SSG. I am often told that I turned to the dark side. After much vexation, which out that is an officer word, I turned to one of the SGT's and said.

"You know what. The culmination of your career as an NCO is telling people to stay off the grass. The culmination of my career as an officer will be commanding a Brigade or higher!"

He stopped and thought about and pretty much agreed with me. We were good friends and are still.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made May 23 at 2014 9:49 PM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Fri, 23 May 2014 21:49:58 -0400

In GTMO my SNCO, and long time mentor - Don, Lord knows I love you - had a major (even though I was only a captain at the time) disagreement on something. We'd known each other for like 10 years but this was the first time we actually had a command relationship. we got into a hot debate, I believe over a NCOER rating/comment for one of our E-6s that I senior rated. First time we ever had anything close to a disagreement and this was a doozy!

Next morning after we cooled off, he presents me with a fully completed OER and counselling statement (minus signatures) with a few choice needs to improve comments under leadership.We talked things out as we always did, and brought things to an amicable solution at which point we hugged (as all adult Italian males do) and both laughed our butts off. Next morning we were back to being buddies, up at 0430 running with the banana rats.

Response by SSG V. Michelle Woods made May 23 at 2014 9:56 PM

SSG V. Michelle Woods — Fri, 23 May 2014 21:56:52 -0400

My former BDE commander hosted a football game for senior leaders: NCOs vs. officers. Guess how that turned out?

The colonel had a dozen LTs and CPTs in their 20s competing against a bunch of old, broken NCOs who had been through hell and high water from the wars.

Of course the officers won but by Almighty God, the NCOs were NOT going down without a fight! Bless their hearts...and herniated disks...and pinched nerves...and replaced knees...

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 24 at 2014 6:29 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 24 May 2014 06:29:57 -0400

Waaaaaaay back when I was a salty sea dog, I was sitting in the CSMO's office filling out some red tag stuff and he was ragging on a few enlisted guys to our new Ensign, I grew a little tired of what he was saying. I politely interjected "Sir just remember if all of the officers fell overboard, this ship would still be able to go to war and fight, without us you would be incapable of doing that, we only need you here for when something goes wrong." OOOOOOOHHHH buddy was that not something he wanted to hear, he kicked his trash can and told me to get out. Later that day my Master Chief (who's desk is in the same office) came up to me and shook my hand, told me he would have given me a NAM for that comment if he could have.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made May 24 at 2014 3:41 PM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 24 May 2014 15:41:13 -0400

I was a patrolman down at Naval Weapons Charleston, SC a few years back. Our department head was a lieutenant (O-3) who was a sub nuke by trade (you probably see where this is going). One [dreadful] afternoon I get a call from dispatch to back HIM up on a traffic pull over. I pull up with my blue lights, gun, cuffs, vest, the whole nine yards. He's wearing his service uniform, no protection, no gun, just cell talking to dispatch. He manually FLAGGED down a car and wanted ME to write up a knucklehead that he OBSERVED going a bit too fast. Needless to say, our base commander had him for dinner. He went back on subs. The end.

Response by PO2 Rocky Kleeger made May 24 at 2014 5:30 PM

PO2 Rocky Kleeger — Sat, 24 May 2014 17:30:56 -0400

Had a CPO do a lot of stuff to us because our DIVO didn't know anything. He was an Ensign, ground officer put in charge of Aircraft Division.

When the Ensign learned, however, sparks flew and we had a lot of fun watching

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 24 at 2014 5:32 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 24 May 2014 17:32:26 -0400

My adopted brother is an officer (former enlisted). I always tried to get him to come over to my side of the woods (SOF) because I figured it'd be really cool if he was my CO, and I was his 1SG. I figured we could have yelling matches in each others offices so that all the Soldiers could hear us, and then we could come out of the office and be best friends. Figured it'd be a riot. He never did come over (stayed infantry) and now he's about to pin MAJ.

Response by SPC Charles Brown made May 25 at 2014 11:42 PM

SPC Charles Brown — Sun, 25 May 2014 23:42:49 -0400

The most fun I ever had was at the expense of my drunken squad leader in Korea during my second tour. Every time we would go to the field this dumb sob would make sure he had enough alcohol to last the entire field exercise. However, before pulling out of the motor pool he would get drunk and usually fall off of the track on the way out of the gate. He would have to catch a ride with whichever track came up next to him after he picked himself up off of the ground. I laughed the entire trip the first time this happened. I got to run the track while he was trying to catch up to us.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 25 at 2014 11:46 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 25 May 2014 23:46:51 -0400

not really an officer vs nco moment, but whats the difference between a pfc and a 2LT?
the PFC has generally been in the army a year.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made May 29 at 2014 6:38 AM

MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca — Thu, 29 May 2014 06:38:11 -0400

Korea 1992 during an ARTEP for 1/503 INF

In the field with my right hand, Platoon Sergeant, SFC Benjamin Moultrie, IV. I've always had the benefit of serving with some great Non-Commissioned Officers (NCOs) And SFC Moultrie was the first of them. He was happy because he never had the opportunity to break in a new 2nd Lieutenant so we ended up having a very strong and rewarding relationship!!

"Tanks" for the great memories SFC Moultrie!!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 11 at 2014 11:04 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 11 Jun 2014 11:04:22 -0400

My favorite Officer/NCO joke:

A military officer in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a Non-Commissioned Officer below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The NCO below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an NCO" said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the NCO, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the officer, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The NCO below responded, "You must be an Officer."

"I am," replied the officer, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the NCO, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 22 at 2014 2:47 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 14:47:29 -0400

A really good one I've heard is:

What's the difference between an O-1 and an E-3? An E-3 has been promoted twice. :)

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 22 at 2014 10:31 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 22:31:45 -0400

SFC Private RallyPoint Member Oh, this is going to be soooo easy!! LOL Where's MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca SSG V. Michelle Woods

Okay but this is a true story. I was going to be a captain of my softball team but was discouraged at the lack of participation so I did an ad lib roster like Lou Gehrig, Hank Aaron and Babe Ruth. One afternoon, the weather commander #MAJ looking at the list and I swear to God that he said this:

I don't know most of the people on this list. Who is Babe Ruth?

As soon as he left the on duty weather observer started laughing.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 23 at 2014 11:13 AM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 23 Aug 2014 11:13:26 -0400

I had a new division officer come onboard - typical ring knocker (if you know what I mean). As an intercept operator I got to know all sorts of "fists" - even gave them names, all printed up and listed alpha-numerically on a sheet of paper with appropriate NSFW comments. This particular Ensign chose to take my sheet, duplicate it and send it up with a report of "current events" to the Captain (Navy O-6 for you non-Navy types) - with what he thought was the proper decrypt and analysis. In the report the Ensign reported there was one particular "target" which seemed to be causing the greatest concern and recommeded additional resources and funding to resolve the issue. Said target was: "extremely difficult to locate on HFDF and does not respond to known rules of engagement combined with inconsistent behavior and severe retarded attributes"

In his summation, the Ensign recommended highest priority be given to the call sign 1D-10T/01.

Apparently the "old man" had a sense of humor and already knew about my "crib sheet". The report came back with the hand written notation: "Agreed. Have Petty Officer Medley see me.

Response by Cpl Dennis F. made Aug 23 at 2014 11:43 AM

Cpl Dennis F. — Sat, 23 Aug 2014 11:43:35 -0400

Being in tanks my "home" was usually a 40mm box hanging off the gypsy rack. More than once, it was shot to pieces or just blown away. Because of this I was always in short supply of utilities (OD) so I supplemented with Korean camo from the ROKMC we were working with. My sometimes TC, Lt Duffy had called me on being out of uniform at least once. One night at "One Rear", a small operating area in the Korean compound where we all (Officer, comms, cook and crews) slept in one hootch. I hear Lt, Duffy ask, out of the dark, "Cpl. Fresch , I thought we had a discussion about your being out of uniform?" I begged ignorance, "I have pictures!" he responded. While I was in Hoi An at MACV giving an un-official class in the .30 MG to some army officers, apparently someone had snapped my picture, in complete camo, save for my OD Marine cover. Ooops!

Response by SSG Maurice Wright MS/MBA made Oct 22 at 2014 10:52 AM

SSG Maurice Wright MS/MBA — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 10:52:03 -0400

I am currently retired and work for the Federal Government. While serving and currently in my position today, I am still seeing how Officers take advantage of investments and Financial stability more than NCO's. During my service, officers always had the upper hand on investments or the inside scoop on financial decision making. And now that I am out, I have seen more officers join my business and becoming financially free compare to the NCO Corp. If so many officers are taking advantage of this opportunity, and becoming success stories, why are the NCO's unaware and/or scared???

Response by SSgt David Love made Feb 2 at 2015 8:45 PM

SSgt David Love — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 20:45:29 -0500

A Platoon Sergeant and his Platoon Leader are bunking down in the field for
the night. The Platoon Sergeant looks up and says, "When you see all the
stars in the sky, what do you think, sir?"

The LT replies, "Well, I think of how insignificant we really are in the
universe; how small a piece of such a grand design. I can't help but wonder
if what we do truly means anything or makes any difference. Why? What do
you think of, Sergeant?"

"I think somebody stole the damn tent."

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 2 at 2015 8:55 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 02 Feb 2015 20:55:57 -0500

Not really sure its an anecdote, but it was something to behold though.....Once at FT Irwin, I was walking up to the PX entrance, there ahead just in front of the door was this brand new 2LT and he was talking with the 11th ACR Regimental CSM. I didn't hear the initial start of the convo, but I did here, much to my shock, was the 2LT tell the CSM that since he was an officer, that the CSM needs to stand at the position of attention while addressing the 2LT. To which the CSM did exactly that, he stood at attention, but the last words I heard him say was "Sir, you are right but just remember, I have my star. You still have yet to get yours."

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 7:26 AM

Cpl Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 07:26:03 -0500

"It takes a college degree to break it and a high school diploma to fix it" That's always how I viewed the military. You want it done go yo your NCO's want it messed up ask an officer to do it. Being airwing about all officers I knew were pilots and jad about as much sense a chicken poop on a well handle.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 3 at 2015 9:28 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 09:28:49 -0500

When I was on orders at the NASIC one of contractor colleagues was a retired navy Chief. He said he once had a young ensign report aboard and come to the Chief's shop as the DIVO, and immediately started ordering sailors around. The Chief said he told the ensign to sit dow, shut up, and leave his people alone. And that if the ensign had a problem with it they could go straight to theXO now.

Response by Capt Andrew Cosgrove made Jun 16 at 2018 9:48 PM

Capt Andrew Cosgrove — Sat, 16 Jun 2018 21:48:38 -0400

I was a young 2ndLt stationed at MCBH Kaneohe Bay in the late ‘90s. We had just completed the NAS Barbers Point integration into our small slice of paradise and the Wing CG (LtGen, 3 star for you navy types) came over from Okinawa to do a dog-and-pony show.

We had an Officers All-Call at the O-club for some “Professional Military Education” where the CG basically got up and gave a 7 minute “Good Job, keep up the good work” kind of talk, and promptly dismissed us all to the bar. So we are all thinking that we have been spared a “Death by Power Point” situation and can get a couple of beers before knocking off for the day.
I am in one corner of the bar area with about 6 other 2ndLts and a couple of Ensigns with a 1stLt thrown in for good measure. We are safely ensconced away from the field grade and above, with a buffer of Salty Captains in between.

Out of nowhere the CG appears and inserts himself into our small enclave. We immediately come to attention and he puts us at ease, and he mirthfully starts discussing sports and recent events and such. We all are a bit tense as you could imagine and he is about 4 beers in to an empty stomach, and he can tell we are all laughing dutifully at his quips and one liners. It is then that he imparted the single most important piece of officer wisdom I have ever heard.
He asked us all if we knew the REAL history behind the officer’s rank insignia of the US Military. We all responded with the little knowledge we had and he chuckled and said “No, gentlemen I mean the REAL history.” We all shook our heads getting ready for the wisdom from an O-9.

He began…

“Gentlemen, Second Lieutenants have bars of gold upon their collars because that signifies how much they are worth. All the training, education, and responsibility that we put upon your young shoulders makes you worth more than gold. The First Lieutenant’s bars are actually platinum and not silver. The platinum represents the increase in value from 2ndLt to 1stLt because of the experience they have gained. Captains get two platinum bars because they are now worth twice as much as a 1stLt. Colonels get Eagles upon their collars because they soar above the fields of battle like birds of prey, they are fierce leaders and elevated higher than the Marines on the field below them. Generals get stars because they are almost Gods amongst men. They operate in the heavens above, moving mountains and divisions, whole armies and corps.”

One 2ndLt respectfully asked the General “General what about Majors and LtCols?”

The General responded with a wink and said “Well son, the Majors’ and Lt Colonels’ insignia goes back to biblical times when we covered our pricks with leaves.”