What is the worst test in the military?

2015-09-24T11:57:15-04:00

I just took my annual hearing test and was like is that a beep or the guy next to me moving? Did I miss one because that other guy coughed?

What is the worst test in the military?

Response by 1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 11:59 AM

2015-09-24T11:59:29-04:00

Hours of boredom punctuated by 45 seconds of urination.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 12:10 PM

2015-09-24T12:10:57-04:00

The over 40 and feeling foxy prostate exam.

Response by SGT Ben Keen made Sep 24 at 2015 12:14 PM

2015-09-24T12:14:31-04:00

I agree with you LTC Private RallyPoint Member, hearing tests are the worst! I find myself just hitting the button whenever I hear anything.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 12:17 PM

2015-09-24T12:17:17-04:00

The only test I was a part of, that TRULY sucked, was a month after I made SGT, I got plucked to be an observer for a BN wide whiz quiz.

Response by MSgt Michael Durkee made Sep 24 at 2015 12:23 PM

2015-09-24T12:23:14-04:00

LTC Private RallyPoint Member I'm with you on the hearing test! My hearing has been going for quite awhile, it's worse now that I retired. Last year I had to have one done at the VA, they put me in a box with a little window in the door and told me to follow the instructions as they came through the headphones. Easier said then done, there were points in the test where the technician would be peering through the window like, "Dude. Are you going to push a button sometime soon?" :P

Response by CSM Michael Poll made Sep 24 at 2015 12:23 PM

2015-09-24T12:23:55-04:00

Attempting to find a PRC-E9, blinker fluid, Flight line etc

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Sep 24 at 2015 12:29 PM

2015-09-24T12:29:35-04:00

Prostate exam by somebody with big hands or long finger nails.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Sep 24 at 2015 12:58 PM

2015-09-24T12:58:43-04:00

Language test

Response by SrA Edward Vong made Sep 24 at 2015 1:06 PM

2015-09-24T13:06:07-04:00

I dislike the physical fitness tests, but not because I'm out of shape, but I dislike people telling me to work out.

I keep myself in shape without being told.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Sep 24 at 2015 1:08 PM

2015-09-24T13:08:26-04:00

The one you fail.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Sep 24 at 2015 1:47 PM

2015-09-24T13:47:34-04:00

NCO Promotion boards. They're not a "test" per se, but as the Soldier, you spend months reading everything, being quizzed over and over by your NCO Support Channel. Hit a few SOM boards to make sure you got it. You even win, and you ego is off the charts. Why is it then when you go to the promotion board your brain turns to mush, you're sweating your brains off, and the CSM (or senior board member) tells you to "relax" and you tighten up even more? I think it's one of the most strenuous "tests" that not a test because you're determined to get it so right, you get it wrong. You're so hell bent on perfection in there that you forget to swing your arms when told to take steps for the board members to inspect your uniform. You know EVERY FM, AR, DA PAM, whatever to the T, and the first thing out your mouth is CSM I do not know the answer to that question, but the answer could be found in...". I think this is the hardest yet the easiest "test" you'll ever subject yourself to short of a paternity test. You go in knowing everything, come out and can't remember your own name.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 2:19 PM

2015-09-24T14:19:24-04:00

Online training, and staying awake for any mandatory briefing that you've done before.

Response by CW4 Guy Butler made Sep 24 at 2015 2:33 PM

2015-09-24T14:33:49-04:00

Definitely the hearing test.

Response by Sgt Tom Cunnally made Sep 24 at 2015 2:35 PM

2015-09-24T14:35:54-04:00

If you failed the Physical Fitness Test at Parris Island SC you were discharged from the Marine Corps

Response by SGT Sara Hodgkiss made Sep 24 at 2015 2:42 PM

2015-09-24T14:42:43-04:00

Whiz quiz, cause you know someone is going to fail! Then again, it does bring their current bad habit to light.

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 2:48 PM

2015-09-24T14:48:30-04:00

Click the asterisk for the TBI test that I have had to take four times because there is no record of me taking it....then finding out that those tests are flawed.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 3:41 PM

2015-09-24T15:41:48-04:00

The "Dunker"...in the dark and cold...with six of your best buds.

That, or not "downing" low-level instrument nav before going to VT-28...

..or wait, maybe it was qualifying at Riley below zero...

..or wait-

You know what, they all kinda had their "charm" didn't they? LOL!

Response by Capt Richard I P. made Sep 24 at 2015 3:51 PM

2015-09-24T15:51:49-04:00

Testing whether the mission on which you are employed is worth the lives of the brothers you love.

Response by Capt Mark Strobl made Sep 24 at 2015 7:39 PM

2015-09-24T19:39:45-04:00

Whiz Quiz: I'd lose my OpsChief for the day to "observe" --and two LCpl's forever.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 7:57 PM

2015-09-24T19:57:20-04:00

The defense language aptitude battery followed by the defense language proficiency test.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 25 at 2015 3:32 AM

2015-09-25T03:32:32-04:00

Too young for the prostate exam (thankful for that), so I'll go with the hearing test. Is like you can hear anything while inside the booth and you can mistake it for the beeping.

Response by PO1 John Miller made Sep 25 at 2015 3:46 AM

2015-09-25T03:46:07-04:00

I would have to say Navy Petty Officer/Chief Petty Officer advancement exams. You can study all the reference material until you're blue in the face and then get a question wrong because of the way it's worded or the information is obsolete.

Response by SFC Joseph Weber made Sep 25 at 2015 4:28 AM

2015-09-25T04:28:20-04:00

I had my first five year physical in the back of a 900 series expando van in the woods of Germany. I didn't mind the vigorous probing but the doc seemed kind of upset about it. I had been in a car accident a few years earlier and was fully probed so it did not bother me so much, just the absolute weirdness of it in the back of a truck with my weapon and LBE lying there.

Response by CPT Griff Tatum made Sep 25 at 2015 11:35 AM

2015-09-25T11:35:56-04:00

Hearing is the worst. Maybe not the most challenging, but I think I look forward to APFTs more than hearing tests. hahahah

Response by Maj Mike Sciales made Sep 25 at 2015 12:14 PM

2015-09-25T12:14:34-04:00

People trying my patience daily.

Response by SSG John Erny made Sep 25 at 2015 12:26 PM

2015-09-25T12:26:17-04:00

Stand up, Un-Button, Check Fly, Sound off for Equipment Check.
All OK, Piss Master!
Green light GO!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 26 at 2015 3:52 PM

2015-09-26T15:52:24-04:00

The hearing followed by blood pressure check- after you are hangry and fuzzed up from the general process, and they raise it more by saying "just relax" or what would happen if you dropped dead of a stroke right now (apparently "my spouse would hit the SGLI jackpot is NOT the correct answer)

Response by SSgt Dustin Coy made Sep 27 at 2015 4:48 PM

2015-09-27T16:48:12-04:00

Well, they don't do it anymore, but when I was in the Air Force changed the PT test from the run to a 5-6 minute ride on a stationary bike, with a computer heart rate monitor and a measurement of blood pressure...There were six fitness categories. As I recall you had to get at least a "4" to pass (or maybe it was "3" I just don't remember for sure anymore...). Anyway, I knew guys who were very physically fit, didn't smoke, didn't drink, worked out all the time etc, that failed that thing miserably, and were constantly being put on remedial PT, and threatened with separation if they didn't get themselves in order. Then I (who would only occasionally work out, and smoked a pack a day at the time) would stroll up, literally crush a cigarette out on my way into the test, and always come out with a 5 or 6. Ridiculous. That was the worst test I'm aware of.

Response by TSgt Melissa Post made Mar 9 at 2016 12:13 PM

2016-03-09T12:13:29-05:00

The depth perception. I guess that would fall under the eye test. Like seriously, are ANY of those circles closer than the others or further than the others??

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Mar 9 at 2016 1:04 PM

2016-03-09T13:04:35-05:00

I do recall getting picked for the 10% urinalysis 3 times in a row. The probability is 1/10 X 1/10 X 1/10 or 1/1000. I said what's up with that?

Response by SPC Roger Giffen made Jan 16 at 2017 6:44 PM

2017-01-16T18:44:12-05:00

I could never urinate in cue or if someone was watching me. Had one SFC in Germany that gave me the cup and told me to take care of it when I had time. He knew who did drugs.

Response by SSG Matthew Koehler made Jan 16 at 2017 8:52 PM

2017-01-16T20:52:08-05:00

How about those medical exams that violated HIPPA?....

Response by LTC Jason Mackay made Jan 16 at 2017 10:00 PM

2017-01-16T22:00:28-05:00

Yeah the hearing test is flawed if you can't hear it over he sound of your own heart beat and normal breathing...I just kept pushing the button until apprehended.

Tape test was the worst though. Let's make it a point to not only single out people, but ensure they are humiliated. Then there is the people who layer their own standards on to the test, screwing with you while they are "measuring". Usually people who have never been taped, ever.

Runner up is the APFT. The whole making people stand facing away from the grader as they wait. Whew! I am so glad no one will be able to see a push up before hand. I studied for my test so those jokers can't get the answers before hand. Combine that with the magic of a tape test and you have got something truly special.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Jan 17 at 2017 6:57 AM

2017-01-17T06:57:04-05:00

The surprise drug test, we had one guy show a hot test, partied after getting his E-5, used the wrong stuff at the party.

Response by SMSgt Roger Horton made Feb 17 at 2017 4:29 PM

2017-02-17T16:29:04-05:00

The worst test for me was all the test I took during Hazmat Train the Trainer course while I was in the Florida Air National Guard. Had to score at least 80 on every test, quiz, and practical application. Had 1 opportunity to retake test and if you failed to make 80 the 2nd time you went home. Test had from 1 to 100 questions. Every block of information had a test. Hands on application had from 1 individual to all in the class. If one person failed all failed.