What is the funniest example of unintended consequences that you ever saw while serving?

CPT Jack Durish — Fri, 04 Dec 2015 17:22:50 -0500

Okay, this is not a photo of a gecko, but it reminded me of the geckos that roamed the walls of our housing in Hawaii. Basically, geckos are unobtrusive little lizards that live on insects and are rarely annoying except during mating season when they croak like bull frogs, especially in the middle of the night. What does this have to do with unintended consequences? Well, the wife of a major who joined our group in Hawaii was terrified of them and insisted that her husband kill them all before she would move into post housing. He did and that's when they discovered the unintended consequences. Did I mention that geckos eat insects? They do and without them cockroaches become a problem. Hawaii swarms with cockroaches which only the geckos keep under control.

I also had my run in with them that led to other "unintended consequences". A "friend" told me that cockroaches would infest my car and eat the insulation off wiring as well as the stuffing in the seats. Thus I would be well advised to keep moth balls under my floor mat to keep the cockroaches away. It worked. But it also kept me away. Can you imagine the smell inside a closed car baking under the tropical sun with moth balls inside?

Too often, unintended consequences are tragic. We've all suffered them because of bad command decisions. These were just humorous. Hopefully you had some of your own and can share them. We all need a laugh. I live near San Bernardino and could really use a laugh about now.

I'm laughing just thinking about what might have happened if the major's wife had awakened one night and found this fellow clinging to her wall...

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Dec 4 at 2015 5:32 PM

LTC Stephen F. — Fri, 04 Dec 2015 17:32:56 -0500

CPT Jack Durish the first two that come to mind are:
1. I was bit by a German Shepherd in Bavaria, Germany
2. In a training exercise at Hohenfels, I needed to take a dump at dusk and walked downwind from our location. I heard a noise and turned around and found myself face to snout with an adult male wild boar. I ran one way and the wild boar ran the other way.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 4 at 2015 6:06 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 04 Dec 2015 18:06:44 -0500

Out in the box at Ft Irwin, one of the other 12B in my company had walked off to some rocks to perform a Class 1 download. About 2 minutes later he came running tearing as* back to the vehicles and jumped onto the hood of a vehicle. Right behind him chasing Green Mojave snake.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 4 at 2015 6:20 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 04 Dec 2015 18:20:07 -0500

Base commander decides to kill the local "pests" (some small annoying bird) who terrorize the skies with their mere presents. He kills them with poison.
Thousands of dead birds lying everywhere. Road, dorm roofs, cars, you name it, a dead bird prolly touched it. Oh, and the funny thing is: it was because his "commander car" was always parked under a tree near command post.
Motive found.
Mission failure

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 4 at 2015 8:30 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Fri, 04 Dec 2015 20:30:18 -0500

Is that a fake gecko? I don't care if you laugh, is it fake?

Response by SSG Paul Setterholm made Dec 4 at 2015 8:35 PM

SSG Paul Setterholm — Fri, 04 Dec 2015 20:35:07 -0500

If I tell you, do you promise not to tell anyone?
We were in Berlin for combat in cities training. The final day, we have the big offensive. At the end, we were all in mopp 4. We were sitting around waiting for all clear. The East Germans were watching us over the Berlin Wall. Some of the guys in my squad were annoyed. I said,"who cares, let 'me watch." The guys got paranoid. So (as a joke to create levity) I said," you know what we should do? We should moon them." I no sooner finished speaking and everyone stood up in unison and dropped trou. The East Germans have cameras inside those guard towers and took a picture of our bare asses. The day we left, the commander held up a picture and chewed out the battalion. Oops!

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Dec 5 at 2015 4:20 AM

PO1 William "Chip" Nagel — Sat, 05 Dec 2015 04:20:33 -0500

What a Wonderful Memory to trigger for me. I used to get a kick out of the Geckos in Hawaii and Diego Garcia, Hanging off the walls and Ceiling and Barking at Me. Damn Good Bug Control. I like em. Much Preferred Geckos in Hawaii over the Scorpions and Centipedes.

Response by CPT Russell Pitre made Dec 5 at 2015 1:21 PM

CPT Russell Pitre — Sat, 05 Dec 2015 13:21:25 -0500

This is all I got.

Response by SGT Kevin Hughes made Feb 2 at 2020 5:00 AM

SGT Kevin Hughes — Sun, 02 Feb 2020 05:00:48 -0500

I was a city kid. Cleveland Ohio, West 30th street. Our challenge was with rats. Big rats. Mice were pets, Rats took on cats with aplomb. I get to Hawaii, I find Geckos everywhere. I lived off post, and didn't mind them at all. Since they did eat cockroaches...even the 747 kind. One of my Squad mates has his Fiancee come visit for a week and asks if he can use my Apartment.
So, I move into the Bay so he can have a nice place for him and his girl. They come straight from the Airport to the Apartment and climb into bed in a youthful frenzy. And you guessed it...a Gecko blurts out its mating call. It was on the cinder block wall, only inches from her head. She screams and says:
"I can't make love with a dinosaur in the room!"
To which he says: "What? Why? The snake in your hand didn't seem to bother you."

Apparently she beat him senseless with a Pillow. I still think it is one of the funniest lines I ever heard. By the way...she moved to Hawaii just a few months later...and verified his version of the story. AND ...she learned to like Geckos too!

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Feb 2 at 2020 6:00 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Sun, 02 Feb 2020 18:00:11 -0500

There is a certain complexity being an Armor PL. I had to talk to my crew, give instructions to the driver, talk to the platoon, talk to my boss. Needless to say I was easily distracted. One of the loader's duties is to help the Tank Commander avoid obstacles. My loader was a great kid and loved his attitude. However, he was more like the dog riding in a car with his tongue out watching with reverie as the world went by riding in a tank. My M1A1 was traveling 40 MPH in the desert. It was smooth riding until we hit a vehicle fighting position that was not filled all the way. For those who have ridden in the M1s you will understand when I say we had a Cadillac ride because the suspension was made to be "bouncy". This allows the M1 to travel fast in somewhat rough terrain. It absorbs the shocks and we look like ships gliding in the desert. Well we hit that depression and I yelled brace! to the crew. All 70 tons of us went airborne and we flew some 30 feet in the air probably like 7 feet off the ground. It was all in slow motion until we landed. It was quite a tremendous thud. The gunner was mad. lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4d9KsTMA4E

Tank footage- M1 Abrams Battle, Gulf War 1991

remember, subscribe and comment.