What Is "The Case For Sticking Close To Your Veteran Community"?

2015-08-31T16:13:35-04:00

This article is more like a pep talk for those currently serving and the vets. I found it to be honest and helpful for those who want to slowly work their way back into society. It demonstrates how cruel civilians can be toward veterans. PTSD Is one of the disabilities that a lot of civilians can't, or won't try to understand. To this day, I still feel awkward around people I don't know. I don't reach out to meet them or talk to them because I feel I don't have anything in common with them. Anyway, that's me. You may be totally ok around strangers. I wish I could be. Now to the story:

A former Army captain responds to the idea that veterans should engage more with civilians:
Adrian Cole is a former Army Captain. He served two combat tours as an artillery officer in Iraq with the 101st Airborne Division, and lives in Maine.

http://taskandpurpose.com/the-case-for-sticking-close-to-your-veteran-community/

The Case For Sticking Close To Your Veteran Community

A former Army captain responds to the idea that veterans should engage more with civilians.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 31 at 2015 4:29 PM

2015-08-31T16:29:04-04:00

I have my own, personal experiences that inform me in ways I could not in good conscience relate to someone who has seen/endured more than I. However, I do know that the civilian sector taught me a great deal about "perspective".

Response by LCDR Rabbah Rona Matlow made Aug 31 at 2015 4:52 PM

2015-08-31T16:52:49-04:00

It's clear that people can be jerks. That's part of the human condition. Military and vets tend to stick together because we know and understand each other. The civilian world can be scary, and hanging out at a veterans organization feels safe and familiar...

Response by SPC Bill Earley made Aug 31 at 2015 4:53 PM

2015-08-31T16:53:37-04:00

It was a few years for me before I really started mingling with civilians. I didn't fit in I felt and I felt the connection with my military family still. It is my opinion if I would've started sooner I think my transition would have been a lot smoother.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Aug 31 at 2015 4:54 PM

2015-08-31T16:54:34-04:00

I don't worry about being accepted by civilians; I am selective about which civilians I am willing to accept. I accept only those civilians that don't have their heads up their butts; the rest can take a flying leap.

Response by SSgt Alex Robinson made Aug 31 at 2015 5:15 PM

2015-08-31T17:15:42-04:00

We need to watch out for each other. There are very real challenges we all face and we need to realize the support system that is there in our brothers and sisters

Response by MSgt Manuel Diaz made Aug 31 at 2015 6:05 PM

2015-08-31T18:05:03-04:00

Well it's hard to answer this being everyone has a different reaction to the same situation. To some, war, it's like water off a ducks feathers, to others it's like throwing a cat into water and everything in between. Unarmed Civilians in war, what about them are they like you. Civilians in a catastrophic earthquake or hurricane, or a devastating one mile wide tornado on the ground for ten miles, yes no gun fire or artillery barrage but still deadly, they are just as traumatized. You don't know which civilians survived that till you get to know them. They go through shit too and some get help up the ass and some don't get a glass of water. Some recover without any assistance, some remain homeless and helpless just like you because they too are invisible. We are no different than civilians ... excluding military service. They think we are invincible and have to prove themselves to you... they are tough to but because they are unproven feel less than you. Some have been to hell and back as you have, most still have nannies powder their ass with baby powder till they join the armed services. Join your local VFW and bring your friends and listen. Maybe it's just called life, join in and make the best of it, share your horror stories, see who suffered the most, the least and be glad you made it home with whatever pieces you got out with and now and then coin their ass.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 31 at 2015 6:17 PM

2015-08-31T18:17:15-04:00

People don't understand how deeply their words cut. Yes everyone has their right to their own thoughts about the war and our POTUSs past and present. It's not their right to hold every Service member responsible because he/she did their job. It's these people that make it difficult to return to becoming integrated into society. Our world and their world are two different worlds. When deployed we never left work, we lived together, ate together, slept together, watched out for each other....for this reason we learned to relate to each other differently than civilians do. It's not something easy to put into words to enable someone who's never done it to understand.

Response by SGT Scott Bell made Aug 31 at 2015 7:16 PM

2015-08-31T19:16:54-04:00

For help if need

Response by Maj Kim Patterson made Aug 31 at 2015 9:54 PM

2015-08-31T21:54:30-04:00

I don't socialize with the people in my neighborhood. Initially, it was tough to be taken seriously as a five foot tall female officer but with experience and time and some extremely exceptionally guidance from some NCOs, I earned respect. Also as a five foot tall female, I could let my hair down, put some civilian clothes on and blend pretty easily (except for my walk.) My follow on career as an RN made it a requirement to talk to families outside of the military realm. But it had a similar feel, night shift team work, inside jokes, commitment, I slipped out of one uniform and put on another, working odd hours compared to my neighbors, keep what you see at work at work. While burning out as a sexual assault nurse examiner, I began to take dance lessons for some easy exercise in a very small group. The group grew and for the most part, I was the sole veteran in the group. From there, I met a sick young lady who volunteered at a local historical theater. When she died, I thought in tribute, I would take her place. What a gift to me it became. It gets me out of the house, free to see about any show that comes to town in a building that now feels like a second home. I can be invisible or strike up a short conversation. Several of the volunteers had military service in their lives and offered instant friendship. On my street, I am the crazy lady who comes and goes. Where I go, I am valued and have made some great friendships and I am positive I am leading a much fuller life because of a dance lesson. And yes, I still have days when I don't want to leave the house. I choose.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 1 at 2015 1:00 AM

2015-09-01T01:00:34-04:00

To my fellow veterans, you are my brothers and sisters. I am my brother's keeper. After over 14 years of wars and counting, I can not understand the laziness that permeates our society, totally blind of the cancer we are fighting, still refusing to see, and so ginarant and lazy taht to this day, they could not even google to understand at least of what a Sunni, or Shias, or druze, or the different groups and politics of the islamic world.

They are better off defending criminals, and fighting for their rights, and giving us their half ass attempt at sounding intelligent by teaching us that with a "conversation" we can keep bad guys at bay.

It is their loss, and never fails to educate them at any given moment with the crude reality that we face. So, civilians, if you think you know what a bad day is, please, go get me a nice cup of shut the fuck up, with 2 sugars.

That is all. Carry on!

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Sep 1 at 2015 3:42 AM

2015-09-01T03:42:17-04:00

Like any other Kind of Group Therapy, It is hard for anyone else to relate to some of the things we have seen and done. Hard for anyone to Understand unless they have "Been there, Done That". While a lot is made of Nationalism, Patriotism. Most of what we did was not for such Lofty Goals. They were for our Shipmates, Our Buddies sharing a Foxhole, Keeping each other alive because we were as close as Brothers and Sisters.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Sep 1 at 2015 3:27 PM

2015-09-01T15:27:06-04:00

I stick with my own because y'all are the ONLY ones that truly understand me and those like us. It's a fraternal bond...those of us who wore the green, bled for the green, and would die in the green. I like all of you unless you're a Cowboys or UT (Texas) fan, then I owe it to you for your sanity to 4856 you and get you the proper help you deserve.

Response by SPC Sheila Lewis made Sep 1 at 2015 3:47 PM

2015-09-01T15:47:44-04:00

I do my best to be good towards civilians.....