What is the biggest WTF moment you've had in the barracks?

2016-02-26T00:02:55-05:00

Any stupid traditions, drunken moments, calling your 1SGT "First Sausage".

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2016 12:35 AM

2016-02-26T00:35:29-05:00

Soldier: What the hell I look like waking my 1SG up in the shower?
Me: Dying laughing

Response by SN Greg Wright made Feb 26 at 2016 12:40 AM

2016-02-26T00:40:56-05:00

SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member Come on, you can't ask a question like this and then not answer it for yourself!

Response by MSgt Mike Ruikka made Feb 26 at 2016 1:56 AM

2016-02-26T01:56:29-05:00

It was during an O6 inspection that a friend of mine, who worked mid shift, had this happen. The Colonel came through on the inspection and walked into my friends room while he was asleep. The room was clean and neat. Uniform was hung up, boots and shoes lined up under his bed, he woke up just enough to realize there was someone in his room. Not really awake, he reached down, picked up a boot, and threw it at the door, hitting the Colonel square in the chest. Found out later he was NOT in trouble for assault. The Colonel just laughed it off, said this room was good and shut the door. My friend realized later what had happened and was sweating bullets until he ran into the Colonel at work.

Response by Cpl Daniel Welle made Feb 26 at 2016 2:08 AM

2016-02-26T02:08:34-05:00

At Marine Barracks Japan, Detachment Sasebo, our Gunny had a sand pit added to our work out area so that NCO's could thrash us. The first night of its official existence, a Friday, a healthy amount of "quickcrete" mixed in with the sand. Of course it was Japan and it rained that night as well. Sunday however was rather warm and dry. Monday morning the Gunny found his pit turned to a small patio.

Response by PO3 David Fries made Feb 26 at 2016 6:31 AM

2016-02-26T06:31:03-05:00

Oh, I have several;
1. Slip and slide in the hall on the second floor of our barracks
2. The entire platoon having to stand fire watch because someone filled a boots VCR with shaving cream.
3. Flying kites off the balcony during a typhoon.
4. Using broom handles, a sheet, and a skateboard to parasail during the same typhoon as 3

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2016 6:42 AM

2016-02-26T06:42:06-05:00

I woke up one Saturday morning, on a 4 day weekend of course, to loud sounds outside my barracks door. I opened my door and poked my head out; I had to quickly pull my head back in as a burst from a roman candle fly by my open door. a bunch of my barracks-mates where having a roman candle duel on skateboards.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2016 8:20 AM

2016-02-26T08:20:48-05:00

.....alright, Korea, one night, I got kablastawasted (Osan AB term for so shithoused it's unbelievable). Played pool against a major, beat him. (I don't remember this last part). But the 300-500. Ft walk to base and the mile or so walk back to the dorms, I don't recall them. Luckily, I had my handy dandy digital camera that also records videos. I apparently, met up with my supervisor downtown, then on our way back, challenged him to a fight. Obviously he was not as wasted as me and pretty much told me to fuck off. Then my drunk self bragged about beating a major at pool. Over, and over, and over lol. I woke up in bed at 8 o'clock in the morning with no recollection on how I it there and I wasn't hungover. That was Korea in a nutshell for many airmen.

Response by SSG Audwin Scott made Feb 26 at 2016 8:34 AM

2016-02-26T08:34:31-05:00

During AIT, Ft. Dix N.J. We had more female soldiers than male, so they place some of the female soldiers on the 2nd floor with the male soldiers placing a thin peace of plywood separating us from them. Long story short I was standing at the fire wall in just my underwear, telling the females I had something for them, when all of a sudden I heard a voice behind me say " Oh really I got something for you too, get down and give me some pushups" One of the drill sergeants was behind me lol.

Response by SGT John " Mac " McConnell made Feb 26 at 2016 8:58 AM

2016-02-26T08:58:20-05:00

Germany, Graves kaserne on the third floor. Using para-cord and coat hanger to retireve six packs of beer off the window sills of the floor below. "Fishing for beer !" SPC(P) Private RallyPoint Member

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2016 9:20 AM

2016-02-26T09:20:13-05:00

In my younger Sailor days in San Diego...when I was attending "C" school - the barracks next door had a Toga party...they blocked off the 4th floor and began to toga it up, until shore patrol showed up and demanded they remove the barricades that blocked the fire exits and elevator.

There's plenty of stories to tell - but that's the less "bad" story.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2016 9:51 AM

2016-02-26T09:51:01-05:00

during one AT a SPC came in drunk one night, stood at the corner of the bunk and pissed in the boots of the guy on the bottom bunk.
basic training, had a guy get up in the middle of the night and piss in his wall locker.

but, by far, the biggest WTF moment was during Key Resolve 13 in SK. Walker Barracks at the Korean Battle Simulation Center. I get up one morning and go to the shower. When I get back there is a naked Korean guy sitting on the top bunk next to mine. His clothes, shoes and a backpack are laying in the floor between the bunks. I asked him WTF he is doing and he points at the ceiling and says "fix light". All I could get out of him was "fix light". So I go to the cq desk and call the MPs. They show up and take the guy into custody. We found out later that he was a contractor who had, indeed, been sent to the barracks to fix a broken light. Apparently he had spent the entire morning eating instant coffee packets and was hopped out of his mind on caffeine.

Same exercise I had a katusa PVT salute me while I was using the urinal. I'm standing at the urinal and the kid walks in and sees me, recognizes me (because this same kid had saluted me about a thousand times in the hallways already), snaps to attention and salutes. He just keeps standing there until I finish my business and have a free hand to return his salute.

Response by MSgt Daniel Attilio made Feb 26 at 2016 9:58 AM

2016-02-26T09:58:16-05:00

There were many but I think I'll choose the 1994 UDP. It was either Christmas or New Years night and we were celebrating appropriately in the barracks in Combat Assault Battalion in Okinawa. The barracks were a mad house to say the least. Buddy and I walked into one of the rooms - as there seemed to be a celebration of commiseration in majority of rooms where one group had gaggled around the table. At the table was a game. Two Marines sat across from one another, then were given a beer - I remember it well, it was a bottle of Michelob in the thick brown glass bottles. They would chug the beer and first one to finish got first chance to strike the other in the head to break the bottle. Beers done, the first Marine swings and breaks the bottle on the other's head. He shakes it off and then it is his turn. He swung but the bottle didn't break, so he took three or more swings. Empty beer bottles have a distinct sound when they hit a persons head. I don't remember that second bottle breaking, buddy and looked at each other and opted to exit quickly and head to the next room. I think that was the one that included duct tape, chair, salsa, considerable lack of clothes and shortly thereafter the 1stSgt who the group attempted to blame the whole incident on. Exit stage left again and we decided to head out to Henoko.

Response by SSG Ryan Moore made Feb 26 at 2016 10:16 AM

2016-02-26T10:16:29-05:00

LOL! I got one but will take some time to explain so forgive me if it's a big long winded and I hope it doesn't offend anyone.. I'll call this one "So you see what happened was... uh"
So back in 2010-2011, I was in South Korea for a year long unaccompanied tour. One night in December 2010, I was on CQ for one of my barracks for my junior Soldiers and I had received a phone call from one of my fellow NCOs that there was an incident at his barracks and I needed to come over and give him a hand.
I went over to his barracks and notice a circle formation around a snow drift at the corner of my eye but caught up with my fellow battle and the conversation went like this. (Abbreviations - M(me), B(fellow NCO), and S(Soldier)..
M: Hey, battle, what's up?
B: Looks over at the Soldier and looks at me and chuckles.. You wanna tell him?
M: Confused looked on my face
S: Well, SSG Moore, you see what happened was......uhhhhhhh.
M: Go on
S: Well....... He looks up at his room on the 2nd floor and I follow his gaze and see a body imprint through the screen
M: What the hell? -- Now noticing the crowd is starting to disperse and see a poor local national Korean woman in the snow covered with a blanket .. Ok, what the hell happened? Is she breathing or hurt in anyway????
S: Well, SSG Moore, what happened was that my girlfriend and I were making love on my bed and she started complaining that she was too hot... So I opened the window and continued. Shortly after.... uh..... she was complaining again that she was hot so I opened the window and we moved to the window and uh..... Well I guess, I must have thrusted too hard because she flew out the window and down in the snow. No, she's not hurt, just knocked out and is breathing...
M: Okay, good. Me looking at my battle... You sure she's not hurt?
B: Yes, I checked her (I'm trusting his judgment as he is a medic)
By now she woke up and stood up and the blanket fell to the ground and she left quickly taking the blanket with her. Needless to say she was okay and this poor kid lost her as a girlfriend.
Lesson learned:
1) Never open a window and make love to your lover on the windsill

So that's my WTF moment for the day!!

I do apologize to anyone offended by this and if anyone wishes me to remove it, I will do so.

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2016 11:18 AM

2016-02-26T11:18:36-05:00

Walking into a day room for inspection and catching a group of males watching porn, all sitting naked together... doing things I do not need to explain.

Response by Cpl Jerry Millar made Feb 26 at 2016 11:42 AM

2016-02-26T11:42:52-05:00

Ok, I have one that I can share publicly: My biggest WTF moment was at Camp Lej on a 72hr pass and I decided to spar with a guy in my platoon who claimed to be a golden glove boxer lol! I am still involved in boxing & muay thai and still to this day those were some of the fastest jabs I have ever eaten!

Response by PFC Alexander Oliveira made Feb 26 at 2016 12:13 PM

2016-02-26T12:13:42-05:00

*for clarification our room had a main door that entered into a very small common area where you could go into either mine or my roommate's room, bathroom or kitchen area*

so in korea I roomed with somebody who was friends with the company fuck up, multiple art15s (4 exactly) for underage drinking. anyway its about 2 in the morning and im dead asleep, woken up to loud pounding, the kid is at the door trying to get to my roommate. roomie said don't open it so I go into my roommates room, his door is open, lights on on his computer killing time (its Saturday night) anyway im in his doorway leaned up against it looking at him in his room talking when hes looking at me talking all of a sudden he looks at the door and yells YO IS THAT PISS. I look and a yellow liquid is pouring through the door on the linoleum. so I grab a mop cuz itll go everywhere if I don't. we are cleaning up and mad and everything when I start smelling it...turns out it wasn't urine, but beer. after we cleaned and his buddy ran off we opened the door and there are two empty 40s sitting by our door. he got a less than honorable a few weeks after I left.

Response by PFC Alexander Oliveira made Feb 26 at 2016 12:18 PM

2016-02-26T12:18:07-05:00

so in AIT "man love Thursday" was alive and well. nothing too serious except there was one group of a couple of guys who every Thursday after class would go to some random bunk where somebody was hanging out on (their own bunk of course) and dogpile on them.

or the time I tricked a kid into doing an "ultimate sit up" for those who don't know you put a towel over somebodys eyes and tell them to do a sit up against the tension of the towel. while they think they will be doing some awesome work out, you get somebody else to squat over them with a bare ass and when they attempt to sit up, you release a hand from the towel, they sit up into a face full of bare man ass.

Response by PFC Alexander Oliveira made Feb 26 at 2016 12:26 PM

2016-02-26T12:26:29-05:00

god ive got a million and now I miss AIT.
here's a long but good one
so we had a scandal in AIT. somebody ratted on our sister class about some cheating, a few people got caught and everybody knew exactly who did it. I knew it was happening too but seriously who rats on the people you serve with, no crimes were committed so whatever, like I never cheated on a test before. ANYWAY

so the soldiers get ART15s, demotions, extra duty the whole 9. and shenanigans ensue. like I said, everybody knew who was the one to go and snitch. so people always messed with his stuff. the biggest thing being one Saturday mid day the kid goes to take a shit, gone all of about 15 minutes, he comesback to a completely soaked bed. apparently somebody came into his room and pissed on his bed, sheets, everything that was out at them moment. I didn't hear about it till later in the day since I had been out in town with battle buddies. when we came back to the barracks his mattress was outside drying and we were all curious why a random mattress was outside the barracks.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2016 8:46 PM

2016-02-26T20:46:44-05:00

So no kidding there I was...........

My GF and I had settled into the bed for some serious closeness time, when what do my wondering ears should hear? But a banging on the door with someone hollering for me. Calling me by name, then after some minutes of not getting a response, they holler "Cmon Doc, we know yer in there, we need you really bad!!" So, being as how I was interrupted mid coitus with the call for Doc (I was a Medic back then), I get out of bed and dressed and answer the door. There before me stands this kid in the MI unit my engineer company shared barracks with (and I was dating a girl in said MI unit) with a serious worried look on his face and he tells me that I need to grab my aid bag and come to room # whatever it was. So, I grab my bag and head up the stairs where I start to see a very long and wide trail of vomit. Since I had forgotten what room, I figured I would just follow the yellow chunked road. As I follow the trail, it begins to get thinner and darker (the kid ended up puking bile as he had nothing left in the stomach), where I come upon the door it lead to. I knock, and the door is immediately yanked open and and walked in to see this kid being held in the arms of another with vomit and bile all down his chin and chest. So, I begin to get the IV set up and ask questions about how much he drank (turns out a half bottle of Jack and some beers) and how much he had to eat (turns out only a medium bag of dorritos). Luckily for me, the first vein I go for, I get. His body SUCKED the first bag down and so I hooked a second bag up. Sucked that puppy down quick, too. Kid starts moaning and slightly moving a little after the second bag. Vitals appeared to be getting better, but I still monitored for a few then told the crew in the room that if he gets any worse, to get to the ER stat.

Then there was the time I (and some of my engineer friends) got into a brawl outside the barracks because some drunk maintenance turd shoved an NCO friend of mine. CQ watched the whole thing.....Squadron Staff Duty paid a visit, then so did Regimental Staff Duty. Since no one had to go (nor wanted) to the hospital, the Regimental Staff said this brawl did not take place.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 27 at 2016 11:35 AM

2016-02-27T11:35:25-05:00

being rousted out of bed, totally dog tired, and while BEING WATCHED FROM THE FIRST SGT. no less, putting on my tennis shoes INSTEAD OF MY NEWLY SHINED BOOTS...he just smiled, GAVE ME A CUP OF HIS COFFEE, and said 'try again.' I did and he left. No, I wasn't written up. thanks be to Jesus. lol

Response by PO1 John Meyer, CPC made Feb 27 at 2016 9:00 PM

2016-02-27T21:00:40-05:00

Yokosuka, Japan ceria 1991.

I enter my barracks room only to be greeted by a smell of the upstairs room in a brothel. I walk further into the room only to find some guy sleeping in my bed and some Japanese girl in my roommate's bed.

Found out my roommate had loaned our room to one of his friends so he could get his freak on with some Japanese chick rather than making him use his own room or shell out some money for the local Japanese love hotel.

At least they weren't in the middle of it...

And I gave him crap for now opening the window to air out the room.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 28 at 2016 8:07 PM

2016-02-28T20:07:41-05:00

Ohh I feel like those are stories that I have to wait until I'm
Old and out of the army to tell!

Response by SSG Trevor S. made Feb 28 at 2016 8:26 PM

2016-02-28T20:26:05-05:00

I heard a scuffle in the hallway, poked my head out the door and was barely missed by a flying refrigerator.