What is best; a response that has no substance or a reaction written in fear, or a positive reaction to an action that can be the answer?

2021-03-17T20:55:04-04:00

We often give responses that have no substance or we fear the outcome of our response, while writing it. In such circumstances, it is best not to respond and gather your thoughts in the meantime. If your audience is expecting a reaction from you and you don't react, the message you send is much stronger than sending a poorly constructed message.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 17 at 2021 9:24 PM

2021-03-17T21:24:00-04:00

Response by SPC David S. made Mar 17 at 2021 10:49 PM

2021-03-17T22:49:53-04:00

Well thought out and none confrontational responses on a military forum? Are the Marines on board with this?

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Mar 17 at 2021 11:00 PM

2021-03-17T23:00:32-04:00

Should I respond to you?

Response by SFC Melvin Brandenburg made Mar 18 at 2021 2:21 AM

2021-03-18T02:21:27-04:00

Go with the truth

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Mar 18 at 2021 7:45 AM

2021-03-18T07:45:17-04:00

Yes. No. Maybe. Remember that a bad plan executed violently and on time is better than the perfect plan executed too late.

Yes, gathering your thoughts and coming up with a well-thought out solution to identified problems is almost always the best answer. However sometimes we simply must react to the situation at hand in an attempt to stop it from getting worse.

If we were to see someone lying on the floor with arterial blood spurts, we would never step back and take the time to figure out the best way to treat the person. We would dive in and do everything we could to stop the bleeding. This is why training is important - to know what to do BEFORE you have to do it.

Obviously in the corporate world, we are not likely to encounter arterial blood spurts. But we can often encounter "workplace first aid" situations. What do you do if you see sexual harassment occurring? What about escalating verbal conflict? Or all-out physical confrontation? What do you do when a fed-up employee intentionally tanks a meeting with an important client as their way of quitting? Or even just a BAD employee UNINTENTIONALLY tanking the meeting? Etc.

In these situations, where a reaction is not only expected, it is REQUIRED, inaction ALSO sends a very strong message - and not a good one. In these situations, even doing the WRONG thing is quite often better than doing NOTHING.

Analysis is great. But we must make sure we do not allow ourselves to get "analysis paralysis." Take as much time as you need - and have available - to come up with a good solution, and then EXECUTE. And acknowledge that SOMETIMES the time available with be measured in seconds rather than days.

Response by COL Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 18 at 2021 8:36 AM

2021-03-18T08:36:03-04:00

CPT Gurinder (Gene) Rana Certainly, a reaction in fear is never best, however most people do not have the training and experience to maintain calm under situations that would create fear. That is one thing veterans have in abundance and should see as a strength beyond MOS skillsets.
Most people remain silent in the "fear of the outcome of I[the] response": That is a mistake! as a decision-maker and leader you will have to own the outcome if you were part of the discussion whether you contribute or not so it is always best to provide your best inputs and judgments when the situation requires it.
I do my best to give a response that has substance, but woefully lack the sense of humor that others can use to deflect personal attacks or turn awkward situations into graceful ones. If that is a skill one possesses, please use it to its fullest potential.
For your final sentence I would say it depends on the situation and on the context.
Example1> One of the most powerful situations I ran into was when a peer tried to publicly embarrass/humiliate me in front of my platoon with the expectation that I would NOT react....usually mild-mannered and soft-spoken, I got right up in his personal space with my voice at its highest most guttural volume (which is Very loud) and pushed back against the injustice he was trying to distribute across me and my folks (and I even said the BS word very loudly). This sent a very strong message that I would not let anyone take advantage of me and more importantly those I love and care about to the entire battalion and I was able to make the situation right for my guys and gals.
Example2> In many situations when I walked in as a junior officer to a meeting where more senior or peers felt I would "emotionally" react if prodded or provoked and I did not: either just staring at the offender in silence then contributing something pertinent to the discussion or flat out ignoring the comment in silence---you nailed it...it deflected the poor behavior on the perpetrator. (PS for years I took this as an example of gender bias and come to find out it happens to everyone regardless of race or gender or any other distinguisher- it is just how that individual trying it has garnered success in the past because people rose to the provocations allowing them to aggressively assert their way in a back-handed rather than overt manner)

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Mar 18 at 2021 12:12 PM

2021-03-18T12:12:19-04:00

First, get the fear of responding or not responding out of your life. You control your responses.
You can't control how others feel about your response or lack thereof. Sometimes it is best to delay making a decision about important things until a decision is necessary. Outside of combat, very few circumstance require split-second decisions. This allows you to gather as many facts as you can and think over the pros and cons of the situation before your respond. Sometimes refusing to respond is appropriate. Not taking the bait into a situation where there's no right answer is powerful and empowering. If some one asks why you didn't respond, simply tell them you chose not to. Freedom of speech includes the freedom not to speak.

Response by SPC James Drury made Mar 20 at 2021 4:54 PM

2021-03-20T16:54:37-04:00

Gene, very good self reflection!