What do you do when you and your NCOIC have personal conversation about your private issues and he tells everyone?

2015-07-18T10:14:31-04:00

I was having issues at home and I did not fell comfortable with talking to anyone. I decided to trust in my NCO because he said if I have any issues he would help me get through them the best way he know how. I told him everything and even cried my heart out. About a week later people were talking bout me and teasing me. All because the NCO I trusted told everyone. My NCO is a E5, and then asked in a E5 and below meeting why don't there soldiers come to them or trust them.

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 18 at 2015 10:19 AM

2015-07-18T10:19:35-04:00

Not a good practice for a leader seeking to inspire confidence and trust. Trust is a key component to leadership, if you don't have the trust of your subordinates you can be in charge but not a true leader.

Response by CW4 Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 18 at 2015 10:20 AM

2015-07-18T10:20:21-04:00

Confront the NCO and display your disappointment in his loyalty and disrespect towards you. Explain to the NCO that it will be a very long time before you can trust the NCO again in the future. Having trust in your subordinates, peers and superiors is vital to overall success in the Military.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 18 at 2015 10:27 AM

2015-07-18T10:27:32-04:00

SPC Young, unfortunately you have an inmature SGT for a leader. I recommend you address your is with the next level of leadership to include your concern about your SGT lack of discretion in handling your issue. Your SGT needs some professional development. There are numerous avenues available to you as well when it comes to dealing with your relationship concerns. I would recommend you consider talking with your unit's Military Family Life Consultant (MFLC). I have found that the MFLC can be a great tool in a leaders kit bag. I have utilized our MFLC myself with some assistance with my daughter and her issues. Your Senior leadership should address your concerns with your SGT. Hope this helps.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 18 at 2015 10:51 AM

2015-07-18T10:51:19-04:00

That is such an horrible experience and a very low quality NCO. I personally wouldn't deal with him or even tell him anything as you can't trust him. I would request to speck to the 1SG as he is also in the NCO Support Channel and inform him that you lost confidence in your NCO. There is nothing worse than being unable to trust another soldier. I would even go as far as to request to move to another squad. This is completely unacceptable. It reflects poorly on the unit and their NCOs. The reason why I would go to the 1SG is that he is responsible for the climate of the NCOs and sets the standard. Maybe he is failing in his NCO develop of those in the company. If your even need any assistance you can always rely on use here also. I don't mind at all mentoring and providing any advice I can give to help a soldier.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 18 at 2015 11:25 AM

2015-07-18T11:25:25-04:00

There's not much you really CAN do. NCOs are not bound to n Oath of Secrecy. They can divulge information at your leisure. My recommendation is to talk to the Chaplain instead. Your COC cannot force you to discuss personal information if you are uncomfortable doing so. So if you need counseling or mentorship, talk to the Chaplain instead. The CH DOES have that confidentiaity and legally cannot divulge information unless it is life threatening.

Response by COL Mikel J. Burroughs made Jul 18 at 2015 1:12 PM

2015-07-18T13:12:32-04:00

SSG VNicia Young Being a former NCO (E-6) your story about this NCO is very disheartening to say the least. Unfortunately, you picked the wrong person to turn to in this case. One of the RP Members mentioned the Chaplain. This would have been a very good source to turn to. Even though you can't hold this NCO to confidentiality I would professionally let him know that you are very upset with his behavior and would like for him to stop. Maybe this will give him a little of “wake-up” call.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 18 at 2015 2:44 PM

2015-07-18T14:44:22-04:00

Trust within command down lines is a very fragile relationship that can be easily broken. It is unfortunate that your supervisor took that route. If it were me, I would take this as an opportunity to mentor him (yes, mentor HIM) in how his decision affected and disappointed you. I would also clarify that because of this breach in trust, you would not be coming to him again for anything, and will seek guidance/leadership elsewhere. That should shake the tree within any leader worth their weight in gold. If he takes offense, then by all means, his ego should be able to sustain the disrespect he provided you with when he decided to opt out of the one tenet of leadership every NCO should abide by: respect your subordinates.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 19 at 2015 2:42 PM

2015-08-19T14:42:13-04:00

Trust broken takes many a long time to regain. The idiot does not realize how much trust matters in the military.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 19 at 2015 9:48 PM

2015-08-19T21:48:20-04:00

Do you trust anyone above that culprit? He deserves to write a 1000 word essay on Trust.