What resources are available to military spouses if you’re not getting adjusted to your new assigned duty station after 8 months?

Mimi Ware — Sun, 29 Sep 2024 04:11:44 -0400

After you have tried so hard to get adjusted, absolutely everything just for the sake of your soldier, and approaching close to a year and you still feel the same, not getting adjusted mentally and physically.

For the first time in my life I feel like I’m falling into depression. Believe me, we’re almost marking 20 years and we have traveled so many places, but I have never felt the way in which I’m feeling now.

I have always supported my husband. He loves his new assignment, of which I know that matters a lot in a Soldier's career, but I’m not happy and it causing me health issues. You know the saying a happy wife a happy husband - we have always been happy, but presently I’m always sad internally cause I don’t want my kids to see me sad, I had to pretend so they won’t be affected by what I’m going through.

What is my best option?

Response by Mimi Ware made Sep 29 at 2024 4:28 AM

Mimi Ware — Sun, 29 Sep 2024 04:28:12 -0400

I didn’t know what should be selected that is related to my question, so please pardon me if I selected the wrong ones

Response by COL Randall C. made Sep 29 at 2024 10:25 AM

COL Randall C. — Sun, 29 Sep 2024 10:25:38 -0400

Mimi,

The first thing I want you to know is that you are not alone in the way you are feeling as many military spouses go through those experiences later in their spouse’s career. Stress and change are not some discrete events for families and the effects can be cumulative over time. In the most recent Active-Duty Spouse Well-Being survey* over a third of the spouses reported experiencing feelings of being down, depressed, or hopeless within a week of taking the survey.

The good news is that there are many resources available for you to take advantage of - and many spouses do. In that same survey, almost half of spouses have used counseling during their member spouse’s career and about 1/5th had used counseling in the past six months.

One of the first stops I point service members and their families towards is Military OneSource. This is a ‘one-stop shop’ program run by DoD and available to members of the military and their families to connect you with resources that can help with pretty much any type of situation you can encounter during military life.

I would highly recommend starting with them as you can get started with just a phone call, online chat session or online video session, all free and completely confidential. If during the initial or subsequent discussions it is determined that another resource is more appropriate to give you the assistance needed, then Military OneSource will help you find other resources, including community services, installation services or TRICARE, if appropriate.

Additionally, most local Military and Family Support Centers* (and Military OneSource may point you towards them) have counselors that can assist if you are more comfortable starting with a face-to-face interaction.

The bottom line is that are many resources available you can take advantage of and you’ve already taken the first step – reaching out to others to see what’s available.
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* 2021 Spouses Survey - https://www.militaryonesource.mil/data-research-and-statistics/survey-findings/2021-spouses-survey/
* Military OneSource Non-medical Counseling - https://www.militaryonesource.mil/benefits/confidential-non-medical-counseling/
* Installation Family Support Centers - https://installations.militaryonesource.mil/search?program-service=26

2021 Spouses Survey | Military OneSource

These annual surveys of military spouses provide a look at the experiences and attitudes of spouses across all military branches.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Sep 29 at 2024 3:08 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Sun, 29 Sep 2024 15:08:09 -0400

Go to mental health and make an appointment. If you think you have a problem, then it's a good indication that you might need help. Don't let it fester and get worse.

If you want some coaching, I have helped many people and veterans with depression and PTSD. It costs nothing and it will be strictly confidential.

Response by SFC Kelly Fuerhoff made Sep 29 at 2024 5:53 PM

SFC Kelly Fuerhoff — Sun, 29 Sep 2024 17:53:29 -0400

Go to behavioral health. That's the first place to start. Or you can use Military One Source and find resources there.

Then look around on your base for any resources for dependents. MWR may have some things usually. I know most FRGs (or whatever it's called now I guess SFRG) aren't great but maybe join that? Maybe if you're around some other spouses...they might be going through something similar.