What are your stories? Officers, that means you too.

SSG Paul Setterholm — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 10:58:41 -0400

We had to paint rocks. The under side too.

Response by SSG Paul Setterholm made Sep 24 at 2015 10:59 AM

SSG Paul Setterholm — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 10:59:29 -0400

Response by CH (MAJ) Thomas Conner made Sep 24 at 2015 11:00 AM

CH (MAJ) Thomas Conner — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 11:00:46 -0400

In addition to painting rocks, we also had to ensure all of the vehicles were dress-right-dress! Too bad many of them did not run!

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 11:06 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 11:06:14 -0400

Before I transitioned over to the Army...I remember sweeping up water puddles on the weather decks of the ship...before pulling in port. All the while, it was raining.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 11:09 AM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 11:09:34 -0400

When I transferred branches, I went to Lackland AFB for Security Forces training (not the name back then) the instructors had the lower ranking individuals painting the parking lot lines with water soluble paint (which washed away as soon as it rained - so they could do it again I guess) anytime they had 'extra time.'

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 11:23 AM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 11:23:10 -0400

I did have to Brasso the entire engine room once as a Mid.

Response by LTC Bink Romanick made Sep 24 at 2015 11:39 AM

LTC Bink Romanick — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 11:39:23 -0400

SSG Paul Setterholm we used to have to crawl under the barracks to rake and police. Painting and eventually emptying those nasty butt cans.

Response by Capt Seid Waddell made Sep 24 at 2015 11:41 AM

Capt Seid Waddell — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 11:41:02 -0400

Fortunately I was in during a war, and everything was aimed at that. We didn't have time to paint rocks or find other busy work. Occasionally we had to police up around the area, but that is normal.

Response by SSgt Alex Robinson made Sep 24 at 2015 11:41 AM

SSgt Alex Robinson — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 11:41:27 -0400

I remember having to paint the grass green at Homestead AFB prior to one of the Corona conferences...

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Sep 24 at 2015 11:50 AM

SSG Warren Swan — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 11:50:26 -0400

Out of all the dumb things the Army could do, they allowed grass. With this add on, this gave CSM's a new and improved reason to raise hell...more hell than usual. I think Murphy gave the first CSM the idea of having his own personal lawn in front of his office, and said "wouldn't it be great if you could find some privates to mow it in different designs throughout the week"? CSM smiled put Murphy at parade rest and the "rest" is history. Yes I have a thing for CSM's freakin grass. I was one of those SPC's who was before the E4 mafia who got to know CSM's grass intimately. In fact if you could be smoked in it, I found ways to end up being smoked in it.
I think the second worst "good fairy" idea was a tie between HESCO barriers and Sandbags. When you don't have engineers to fill the HESCO's with heavy equipment; who has to do it? MP's are too freakin stupid to wait, naw we just have to have it done time MEOW!! And sandbags. SERIOUSLY? Sandbags!! In Bosnia at Guardian Base in 95....do time in the tower on guard duty just to get relieved by my SQD LDR to fill sandbags. Hours per day for a week....sandbags. I will never fill another again for the rest of my life.

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Sep 24 at 2015 12:39 PM

LTC Stephen F. — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 12:39:56 -0400

Sounds like police call SSG Paul Setterholm , if you can pick it up put it where it belongs or in the trash if you can't move it then paint it. There were lots of blue rocks - they were too heavy to move so only the sides showing had to be painted.
"Move that fighting position" which had been dug out in clay was one of my all time favorites.
Drifting off to sleep in my M-151 jeep during a Reforger mission only to wake up as we were approaching a border sign to eastern Europe with all of the warnings in German and English.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 1:03 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 13:03:04 -0400

CG of Ft Irwin back in 94 decided he wanted the red and yellow fire hydrants painted brown to better match the new rocks we spent a month putting down all over the living areas of the base. Took us two weeks to get it all done then found out as soon as the San Bernardino county fire Marshall came out for an inspection, the CG was handed over 100 fire code violations because of the color. Spent another 3 weeks painting them all back to yellow because we had to do more than one coat to cover up that brown he chose.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 1:04 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 13:04:05 -0400

Stories you want…
When I was a 2Lt going through the Field Artillery Officers Basic Course, I had the pleasure and honor of being an escort officer for two Saudi princes. Their personalities were reflected in their choice of cars, one drove a forest green Chevy Chevette and the other a bright orange TransAm 455.
One Sunday I was washing my truck in the parking lot of the BOQ when the TransAm pulls up. The prince was quite upset. “Frank, I do not like your country.” What’s going on bubba? “Everyone in this country wants my money.” What happened, I ask? “This man with a hat and a gun tells me to give him money or go to jail.” I am perplexed, tell me what happened. Much more agitated this time the prince says; “This man with a hat and a gun tells me to give him money or go to jail.” Seeing that we are getting nowhere, I take a different tact. “did this man give you a receipt?” this was met with a blank stare… Did this man give you a paper? “Yes, he gives me paper.” May I see the paper, and he thrust a receipt at me.
Turns out that bubba (obviously not his name) was stopped for speeding, 122 in a 35 in Burnet Texas. For those not familiar with Burnet, US Hwy 281 goes through the center of town and just as you enter the city limits, you crest a hill and the speed limit drops from 55 to 35 Mph. Yes I paid my tribute to Burnet.
Now that I understand the problem, I can try to explain it to Bubba. I explain that he was speeding, that on that portion of the road the maximum speed limit was 35Mph. Bubba responded; “I do not like this law! (he pats the hood of his TransAm) In my country, if my car will go 200, I go 200.” It took a bit of time but I think I got the concept of speed limits through to the Prince.
One day over a beer, I’ll tell you about my duel with a Leftenant of the Queens Guard.

Response by LTC Ed Ross made Sep 24 at 2015 3:09 PM

LTC Ed Ross — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 15:09:46 -0400

As a second lieutenant field artillery observer in Vietnam in 1967 I spent an hour and a half one on one with Jonathan Winters in the back of a Caribou transport plane. My helicopter was parked next to the Caribou on the tarmac in Dong Tam on the My Tho River in South Vietnam as a heavy monsoon rain rushed in. With no doors on our help we were drenched. I looked over and say someone waiving to me to come over to the aircraft and get out of the rain. My pilot and I did so. When we got in the cargo ramp, my pilot stayed near the rear with the rest of the USO troop Winters was with while I saw him sitting alone near the front. Realizing he was the one who had waived to us, I walked back and said thanks. He invited me to sit down and the conversation we had I will remember to the day I die. He began by telling me he was the only Marine on an aircraft carrier in WWII that wasn't hit by a kamikaze, and it went into outer space from there. He was a once hilarious and authentic. He had a genuine love for the military and understood what it was like to be far away from home in harms way. When the rain stopped we went back to our aircraft and out to our mission for the day. I was still smiling and laughing when I went to bed that night.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 4:05 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 16:05:58 -0400

"mowing the lawn"... with scissors.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Sep 24 at 2015 4:14 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 16:14:58 -0400

One time we were short of soldiers so I joined my unit during post clean up. I was working the weed eater and it flung a rock into a cars window. The young soldier said what are we to do. I told him to go the Jag Claims and told him my name and rank. A few months later I get a call from claims and the lady expounded on a strange story that a CPT had broken a car window. I could tell she was not buying this story until I told her, yes it was me who broke a car window.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 4:44 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 16:44:31 -0400

One of my all time favorite memories.

I was a 2Lt in Germany. When I reported in the Battery Commander told me that I was assigned as the Recognizance and Survey Officer, but not to worry about that there was a good NCO covering that section. He wanted me to make a home in the motor pool and get that squared away.

I’m a farm boy from Central Texas… I am in hog heaven. I am working in the maintenance shop, even put on coveralls and turned wrenches occasionally.

One day a runner comes down and tells me that I am to report to the Battalion Commander. I am anxious, what have I done…

I report to the colonel and am standing at parade rest in front of his desk. He starts into a tirade about me being seen in the motor pool in coveralls, having grease on my hands… I am scared to death. He gets up from his desk and comes around, pulling his pocket knife out of his pocket. He cut my 2Lt bar off my uniform. I am completely lost… what just happened?

About that the adjutant called the room to attention and read my promotion orders to 1Lt. While the colonel is giving me a hard time all of the other battalion officers had entered the room and were standing in the back.

Undoubtedly the most memorial promotion I’ve ever experienced. Thank you Sir.

Response by Maj Kim Patterson made Sep 24 at 2015 6:23 PM

Maj Kim Patterson — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 18:23:37 -0400

My orders to report to my first duty station: 11 November. I don't recall any other incidents.......

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 24 at 2015 8:46 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 24 Sep 2015 20:46:12 -0400

So there I was, Fort Benning, 1993.
It was post detail day, and I and a bunch of Privates were thrown in a deuce and a half to go inventory a warehouse.
Doesn't sound so bad you say?
Wait for it...

So this place was floor to ceiling with big appliance-sized boxes of random Army stuff that clearly hadn't been touched in a decade or more. The warehouse itself wasn't in very good shape, either. A DA Civilian was guiding us around the place, dutifully marking on a clipboard what our counts were. My first project was counting a boxload of wooden dummy M-14s. Clearly, the Army needed to know just how many of those it had, in the event that they were needed again. I counted the couple hundred in the box, taking about an hour.
Next was a box of old dummies. That one didn't take long.
I noticed that most of the Privates are screwing off. Apparently, the other Joes weren't taking this task seriously. The civilian guy would circle around and bark once in a while, but mostly he chain-smoked Kools.
Finishing with the dummies, my next task was a dishwasher sized box of 3/8" nuts and bolts. Incredulous, I asked the civilian (jokingly) if he wanted me to count the nuts, bolts, or nuts and bolts. "All of them" he says.
Three hours later, I am maybe halfway. A mountain of each is next to me. Civilian guy comes along and asks if I was done yet. "Yes" I say.
He gets out his pen.
18722 nuts. He writes it down.
17928 bolts. He writes that down too, frowning.
8671 nuts and bolts. He looks up.
And three nails and five wingnuts...
"There were more there last month" he says.
Oh, oh. I'm busted.
"That little bastard lied to me last month!"

He thanks me, and we all pile on the deuce and a half for the ride back to the barracks.
I love the Army.

Response by PO1 John Miller made Sep 25 at 2015 2:17 AM

PO1 John Miller — Fri, 25 Sep 2015 02:17:28 -0400

Having to wipe the rails of the ship down with fresh water. While we were underway in fairly rough seas so salt water was splashing the rails faster than I could clean them.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 8 at 2022 1:03 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Thu, 08 Dec 2022 13:03:43 -0500

I rode in helicopters and 70-ton tanks, then took over a Finance Unit. I told the unit my vision was to provide world class support to the soldiers and community of Ft Riley. I was pleasantly surprised they accomplished this in a few months. To say thank you to the soldiers, I went to the airfield and asked the pilots to fly the soldiers around and they said yes. Sometimes I did BBQs for them on Thursday afternoons. There were a couple occasions when we did SGT's time in the morning at Ft. Riley's Lake which has picnic tables and large grills and transitioned the day into BBQ time. I was not the best leader, but the soldiers knew that I cared about them. Having fun is important.

Response by LTC Trent Klug made Dec 8 at 2022 2:23 PM

LTC Trent Klug — Thu, 08 Dec 2022 14:23:00 -0500

This was back before Dont Ask, Dont Tell and I'm a 2LT. My platoon had a collection of porn in a wall locker. Virtually every fetish was covered in the collection. While we were on an extended Annual Training, the BDE HHC commander went through our lockers (bolt cutters and all) and found the collection. The reason for the inspection is another story. We get back and within minutes, the angry MAJ calls me in his office and reads me the riot act. Then he shows me one of the DVD's he confiscated. The title - Chick's with d*#ks. He goes on and on for what seemed an eternity. When he was done, I asked "can I have my DVD back please?" I didn't get it back. LOL