What are the best (or worst) Safety briefs points you have heard / issued?

We've all been there. The long weekend / post-deployment / 24-hour liberty safety brief.

What are some of the points you have heard? I am looking for the great (wow, good point! I'm glad you mentioned that!) the groan (really? *that* is what you think we need to be worried about?) and the giggle (ways of making the same old stuff at least mildly entertaining).

Toward the end of my career, I tended to give the same safety brief every weekend, unless there were specific concerns...

Don't do nothin' stupid.
If you're not sure, call me. I'll tell you it's stupid.
If it's stupid and you do it anyway, call me as soon as possible so we can mitigate the effects of your stupidity.
And then I would call out 3-6 Soldiers by name (depending on how much time we had to kill) and have them name things...
PFC Smith, what's something stupid?
Drinking and hooking up, Sergeant.
Absolutely. Don't wait until you are drunk to pick your date - bad decisions are made. And don't wait until the other person is drunk to make your move - that's called rape and that is very, VERY stupid. That is a level of stupidity I simply can't help you recover from. Who's next? SGT Jones, name something stupid....

I'll admit it isn't the most creative, but it at least wasn't another leader standing in front of the formation lecturing them.


Anyway... what are your best and worst?