What advice do you have for a single parent who wants to be chaptered out (FCP), but my command wants me to resolve my childcare issues?

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 24 Jun 2021 21:24:04 -0400

I know this will be extremely long but please bear with me. my spouse and i are currently separated for over an year now. i had my baby in November 2020, but failed to hand in a family care plan by then. during maternity leave i tried to put in extra leave to find childcare because it was already a struggle due to no availability. my leave got denied because i “had 84 days to find childcare” per 1SG. i missed work the first day back because my baby had no where to go. i was told that if i didn’t find anything than they will start my separation, which i was fine with because at that point i realized that my child needs didn’t matter to them. they started my chapter 5-8 a couple months later, during that time my spouse got out of the army and moved back home. when they finally turned it into legal i was notified that it was denied due to him getting out and i technically didn’t need a FCP anymore. my 1sg gave me a counceling to remove my flag but also told me to hand in documents stating that were legally separated and i am currently going through the divorce. i gave it to them & found out today that it still hasn’t been pushed up to legal. but now i am on a field mission to go to JBC, but i know that it is impossible to find someone to take my baby in such short notice if we were to go. today we had recall after work hours and i needed to bring my baby with me and 1SG stated that we needed to figure our Childcare issues out because tomorrow we also have a recall which we would have to come in by 0500. i don’t drop my baby off until 0600 therefore i will have to bring her with me or get an FTR. any advice on this complicated situation please help me !! i knew that to make this easier it would be best to get out to move closer to home where i can have more help that’s the reason i started the chapter process. but now i am confused why they think i can find someone to take my baby after knowing my situation!!

Response by LTC Jason Mackay made Jun 25 at 2021 1:27 AM

LTC Jason Mackay — Fri, 25 Jun 2021 01:27:46 -0400

SPC Private RallyPoint Member AR 600-20 says that you need a Family Care Plan. Your former spouse is only one part of it. You need a family care plan short term and long term. Legal Assistance Office or TDS usually has packets on different chapters and family care plans that provide detailed guidance.

Start at AR 600-20 para 5-3
b. Commanders of RA and USAR Soldiers, regardless of the members’ rank, will conduct or arrange for Family care plan counseling and require a Family care plan be completed when any of the following apply:
(1) A pregnant member who—
(a) Has no spouse; is divorced, widowed, or separated; or is residing without her spouse.
(b) Is married to another Soldier of an RA or USAR of any Service (Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, or Coast Guard).
(2) A Soldier who has no spouse or is residing apart from his or her spouse; who has joint or full legal custody as well as physical custody of one or more Family members under the age of 18; or who has adult Family members incapable of self-care regardless of age.
(3) A Soldier who is divorced, and who has visitation rights by court decree that allows Family members to be solely in the member’s care in excess of 30 consecutive days.
(4) A Soldier whose spouse is incapable of self-care or is otherwise physically, mentally, or emotionally disabled so as to require special care or assistance.
(5) A Soldier categorized as half of a dual-military couple of the RA or USAR of any Service (Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, or Coast Guard) who is married to a Soldier, who has joint or full legal custody of one or more Family members under age 19, or who has adult Family members incapable of self-care regardless of age.

Here is the FCP Checklist DA Form 5304:
https://armypubs.army.mil/pub/eforms/DR_a/pdf/DA%20FORM%205304.pdf

Have you got on the list at the Child Development Center? Where are you on the wait list? Have they made an alternative care referral for you to another facility? Has your unit CoC called the CDC to try and leverage support? Did you wait until your leave was up to apply? CDC will give you a checklist but if memory serves your child was eligible once the first round of vaccinations was complete.

I looked at your profile to see where you are stationed to give you more specific resources and you did not share that info, so you'll have to look around. Where is your first line leader in all this?

Resource: https://www.militaryonesource.mil/

Army Publishing Directorate

Army DA administrative publications and forms by the Army Publishing Directorate APD. The latest technologies high quality electronic pubs and forms view U.S. Army Regulations and DA Forms.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 25 at 2021 6:20 AM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 25 Jun 2021 06:20:35 -0400

Legal doesnt deny anything, they ony tell the command if they are following regualtion and what paperwork is needed to get stuff done.

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 25 at 2021 9:03 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 25 Jun 2021 09:03:30 -0400

It is always good to get a legal opinion. You can see JAG, it will not be the command's JAG because they work for the commander to ensure things are being done by the book. You'll have to go to the legal office on base and speak with a nutral party - they can only advise you of your rights and the regulations.
The military doesn't recognize seperation. You are legally still married and your spouse is no longer in the mlitary, so by those standards the 1SG and AR states you don't need a FCP (assuming that the non military parent is available to watch the child). If you do plan on staying in (after the divorce), you will absolutely need a FPC. It can be difficult when you PCS because you are away from friends and family that you know and have to entrust your child to someone (at least the short term plan has to have some local; long term can be family anywhere). Once you are divorced, the FCP seperation could be restarted.
Most commanders are aware that daycare opens at 0600, with the exeption of on base. Maybe you need a statement from CDC that you are on the waiting list. Remind the command that your offpost provider isn't open at 0500. (Have you spoken irectly with the commander?, if not, do so; don't rely on the 1SG to relay your situation.) If your 1SG and commander at the company level aren't listening, use your other resources, Chaplain, JAG, IG, higher command (CSM).

Response by SFC Kelly Fuerhoff made Jun 25 at 2021 9:36 AM

SFC Kelly Fuerhoff — Fri, 25 Jun 2021 09:36:50 -0400

You need to go to legal and talk to them. I don't know why your unit is trying to make you stay in when you don't want to and you can't fulfill a FCP because lack of childcare. That's pretty ridiculous.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Jun 25 at 2021 11:49 AM

Lt Col Jim Coe — Fri, 25 Jun 2021 11:49:01 -0400

I'm a little confused about your status with your Spouse. If he is living with you or is otherwise willing to care for your child, then he should be the first choice for child care. He needs to step up to parenthood with a military spouse--something every military wife has historically done for a very long time.

IMO you should seriously consider completing your enlistment contract with honorable service. Yes, child care can be a problem, but I expect you knew that even before the baby was born. Your chain of command is not out of bounds suggesting you could have made arrangements before your maternity leave ended. That's all water under the bridge now. You need to get a child care plan together immediately. Include your spouse (ex-spouse?). He is 50% responsible for the child. Work with the Family Support Center to help find child care facilities or people. Consider your parents and spouse's parents as potential child care sources for planned and longer deployments. Sticking with the Army guarantees you a paycheck to support yourself and child. Getting out early and being unemployed and on welfare is not a good way to go. Honorably completing your enlistment will allow you access to full GI benefits after your ETS. Also the satisfaction of completing a difficult commitment and serving your country.

Response by COL Victor Hagan made Jun 25 at 2021 12:13 PM

COL Victor Hagan — Fri, 25 Jun 2021 12:13:26 -0400

While I'm sure your chain of command mean well, I would advise you contact your post legal office and speak with an attorney. You should also go to the childcare center and ask about the waiting list. You should also talk with your child's father about taking care of him/her while you are in the field. I'm not sure about your home life but unless you or your family are independently wealthy you are going to need a job of some type. So don't be in a hurry to get out with no longterm plan. Good luck and God Bless.

Response by LT Brad McInnis made Jun 25 at 2021 12:18 PM

LT Brad McInnis — Fri, 25 Jun 2021 12:18:50 -0400

First, I am sorry you are going through so much. It will get better, it will get easier, there are people who can help.
Second, I don't understand a lot of the Army specific stuff (was totally confused when I was joint working with Army folks) but here is what I would do:
1) Find out if there are other soldiers in your unit that have families. Maybe you can get them to help out with your baby while everything else gets worked out.
2) Talk to the Chaplains. The amount of resources they have are ridiculous. They can help you find out a solution.

Third, think seriously about trying to stay in. You are going to be a single parent with a young child. Unless you have something lined up in the outside world for a job with good benefits, you might be better staying in. Just consider it if you find childcare that will work out.

Best of luck, and congrats on being a Mom !