Were you ever mutually smitten with a subordinate?

CPT Joseph K Murdock — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 15:54:00 -0400

I did a couple times but told them it won't happen. It was a bridge I was not going to cross no matter how I felt about them. It would have been wrong in many ways.

Response by SPC Sheila Lewis made Jun 7 at 2016 4:04 PM

SPC Sheila Lewis — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 16:04:14 -0400

not a subordinate, but one in a leadership position, and an officer, as well.

Response by SPC Andrew Griffin made Jun 7 at 2016 4:05 PM

SPC Andrew Griffin — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 16:05:17 -0400

I have seen a lot of Leaders fall into Temptation! Especially while on deployments! Ive seen Leader E7 and Above have relations with female soliders E4 and below!

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 7 at 2016 4:07 PM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 16:07:32 -0400

Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies.

Response by Sgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 7 at 2016 4:39 PM

Sgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 16:39:01 -0400

It always boggled my mind when I saw a Capt eating with a Specialist...thats just asking for trouble.

Response by SGT Jerrold Pesz made Jun 7 at 2016 4:45 PM

SGT Jerrold Pesz — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 16:45:10 -0400

It may not be a good idea and it rarely works but sometimes it is hard to avoid when you have a job where you have little opportunity to meet people other than those that you work with and you outrank them all.

Response by Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth made Jun 7 at 2016 4:57 PM

Lt Col Scott Shuttleworth — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 16:57:07 -0400

There is only one way that could go...WRONG!!! Don't get me wrong, the temptations are there...especially on long deployments but there is nothing right about it. An old mentor of mine once told me that if ever faced with that situation, even if she is the finest/fittest thing you have ever seen and is as naked as a jaybird whispering sweet nothings in your face in front of you, you don't say a word...you just about face and run like the wind and don't look back. Don't say I'll call, don't say I'll text, don't nothing at all...just run. No good can come from this as it is definitely against all good order and discipline. There is no such thing a friends with benefits. The first time you show favoritism or don't show favoritism either way you are jacked and you have lost all credibility as a leader. One bad mistake can erase 1000 great accomplishments and that one is what you will be forever known for...i.e., Gen Petraeus and she wasn't even in his chain of command!!!!

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 7 at 2016 5:14 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 17:14:54 -0400

No, but I was once secretly smitten with a nurse or two of mine in Germany.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Jun 7 at 2016 5:40 PM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 17:40:02 -0400

Not with subordinate, but with a couple female SSG's. Thought better of it quick.

Response by SPC Sheila Lewis made Jun 7 at 2016 5:58 PM

SPC Sheila Lewis — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 17:58:43 -0400

If he is interested, and I believe he knows....

Response by SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 7 at 2016 6:36 PM

SFC(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 18:36:28 -0400

I think when you work so closely together, feelings are inevitable, but the best thing to do is run away. Fast.

Response by PO3 Leroy Leftwich made Jun 7 at 2016 8:17 PM

PO3 Leroy Leftwich — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 20:17:58 -0400

No when I was in, females weren't allow on board ships.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 7 at 2016 9:13 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 21:13:37 -0400

No but I have been smitten by a peer when I was a SGT.

Response by SFC Ian Lumgair made Jun 7 at 2016 10:57 PM

SFC Ian Lumgair — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 22:57:26 -0400

No. Funny as this my seem, I loved my wife first and foremost, 22 years married 10.5 deployed in school or on hardship tours and if anyone was ever smitten with me I would not know it. First I was always older even for my peer group. Then they had to get past my un-charming, sarcastic, brutally honest personality. My taste for Hard liquor, dark beer, local, spicy food, were ever and what ever that may be. Then they got to "try" to penetrate the ring of cigar smoke from Oliva Mark Five Cigars That perpetually surrounded me. If they got past any of that they usually ended up being my weight lifting partner. That's it...... and I know still know both of those two ladies and neither of them where in the lest bit smitten with me.

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Jun 8 at 2016 4:44 AM

PO1 William "Chip" Nagel — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 04:44:25 -0400

Nope but then again I'm more of a Loner anyway, Never really got into the Skirt Chasing. Granny Nagel took a liking to me and she can be a bit persistent about things. LOL!

Response by Capt Tom Brown made Jun 8 at 2016 7:00 AM

Capt Tom Brown — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 07:00:42 -0400

How is all that addressed in the regulations nowadays? Regardless of propriety and good judgement, etc, is any such permitted or not unauthorized in any situation? Can't help but be curious.

Response by SFC Alfred Galloway made Jun 8 at 2016 9:19 AM

SFC Alfred Galloway — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 09:19:32 -0400

I was, walked away, 12 years later both of us, long out of the military, a mutual friend reacquainted us, we've been together now over 12 years.

Bottom line though is NO, do not pursue, rather walk/run away as fast as you can.

Response by SFC James Cassels made Jun 8 at 2016 10:37 AM

SFC James Cassels — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 10:37:57 -0400

I never served in a coed unit, but I did meet a nurse or two!

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 8 at 2016 1:12 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 13:12:34 -0400

I can say my battalion had a revolving door of Commanders and 1SGs who couldn't maintain control.
Commanders relieved of Command x 3
1SGs relieved for cause x 1
PLs x 2
PSGs x 0
The "joke" was the awarding of the unofficial "Keeping It In Your Pants" medal.
Subsequent Tours? With Zipper Device x 1, x 2, etc.

Response by SSG Delanda Hunt made Jun 8 at 2016 6:04 PM

SSG Delanda Hunt — Wed, 08 Jun 2016 18:04:04 -0400

All men unit and homey don't play that, back in the day when Men couldn't have a boyfriend.

Response by CPT Robert Boshears made Jun 10 at 2016 1:43 PM

CPT Robert Boshears — Fri, 10 Jun 2016 13:43:47 -0400

I saw a female soldier playing pool in a "day room" at Ft. Dix back in the early 80's, I walked in, luckily there was a Female Captain about 10 feet behind me. When I asked, who I thought was in Basic (the female soldier) she began yelling rape, RIGHT WHEN THE OTHER Captain walked through the door. Had there not been a witness to this I would have been sent to Leavenworth. The female soldier was waiting on orders for military unsuitability. There may be crazies and very good female soldiers. My only requirement is, can the female Infantry soldier put a 180 pound (wounded) soldier over shoulder, both soldier's gear, didi out of there while continuing to return fire? Then a blue cord and CIB be an appropriate award. Not like the Jessica Lynch story. Bottom line, don't mess with anyone of the opposite sex romantically, unless one gets out first...something will always bite you in the butt. Sadly, I see soldiers, sailors and marines holding hands and other signs of affection, daily at a DoD school...most are the same sex.