The "love" boat - how common are hookups out to sea?

ENS Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 11 Aug 2016 22:24:09 -0400

They call a ship underway the "Love Boat". Sailors commonly deployed for 7-10 months, away from family, and often out to sea for more than 90 days without a port visit. Though highly prohibited, how common is it to find or hear of, hookups out to sea? What should leaders (LPOs, LCPOs, DIVOs) do if they discover this behavior?

Response by SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL made Aug 11 at 2016 10:26 PM

SFC Joe S. Davis Jr., MSM, DSL — Thu, 11 Aug 2016 22:26:30 -0400

ENS Private RallyPoint Member thanks for the read and share, standing by for the responses on this one!

Response by PO1 John Miller made Aug 11 at 2016 11:40 PM

PO1 John Miller — Thu, 11 Aug 2016 23:40:34 -0400

Now they're called "having a boat boo..." I have walked in on a few. The statue of limitations has expired so here goes...

I was TAD to the MA's/Ship's Security Forces on the Nimitz and was on roving security patrol one day underway. My partner and I walked by a space that just happened to contain one of the biggest NIPRNET switches. It being one of my spaces (when I wasn't TAD), I heard noises from the other side of the door but no lights shining from underneath the crack in the door so I opened it to see if someone was messing around with the switch. Low and behold, it was 2 people from my parent division. Had I been by myself, I probably would have said "Knock it off and get out of here..." but my partner thought he was Top Cop or some shit, so we had to turn them in.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Aug 12 at 2016 1:02 AM

SN Greg Wright — Fri, 12 Aug 2016 01:02:55 -0400

Human beings are primates. Primates want their bananas. (Not a penis reference. Rather, a 'I want what I want' reference). Primates will ALWAYS ignore rules, orders, and regulations to get their bananas if they think they can get away with it. Just the nature of the beast.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 12 at 2016 1:23 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 12 Aug 2016 01:23:32 -0400

Any port in a storm I guess would be an appropriate response for this.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 12 at 2016 4:13 PM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 12 Aug 2016 16:13:42 -0400

CMDCM Gene Treants - I believe you have strong sentiments re this behavior. Sandy :)

Response by SGT Tim Carpenter made Aug 12 at 2016 4:43 PM

SGT Tim Carpenter — Fri, 12 Aug 2016 16:43:56 -0400

Well you know what they say. 100 sailor's leave and 50 couples come back. Lol

Response by SFC Joseph Weber made Aug 12 at 2016 9:12 PM

SFC Joseph Weber — Fri, 12 Aug 2016 21:12:32 -0400

Heck, you're the Navy guy, you tell me!

Response by CMDCM Gene Treants made Aug 13 at 2016 12:08 PM

CMDCM Gene Treants — Sat, 13 Aug 2016 12:08:46 -0400

Yes, our ships do deploy for seven to ten months now and that is not uncommon, but I really do question the 90 days without a port visit. Yes I have done that at very unusual times, but it is exactly that, very unusual to not have any port visits in 90 days. EVEN when we do not visit ports in 90 days that is a heck of an excuse to violate good order and discipline.

Okay, I understand hormones. I also know the consequences of my actions. and BS a hard prick does have a conscience as well as we CAN wait. Ships depend on the crews to run efficiently and you cannot have this type of behavior and still be efficient at all times. It really is a function of leadership to stop this stuff and not condone it.

We are no longer the Navy of the 1960's where women in uniform or on ships were that unusual. Today we have a fully integrated service and women are everywhere, yes even on submarines. It is time for the boys and girls to grow up and accept that they are warriors and not children. THAT INCLUDES CAPTAINS AND ADMIRALS as well AS the CPO MESS. YES CHIEFS I AM TALKING TO YOU!

If it is true that the Chiefs really do run the Navy, then we all need to stop this CRAP. Leadership means we do not put up with it from the Wardroom or from our fellow Chiefs. If we do not put up with it, do you think WHITEHATS think they can get away with iT?

This is not a BS Bucket Challenge it is time for a real change in Our Navy from the Mess!

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Aug 13 at 2016 8:37 PM

PO1 William "Chip" Nagel — Sat, 13 Aug 2016 20:37:25 -0400

Served on Nuclear Cruisers when Females were not allowed on board so it wasn't much of an issue. Now there were the Females onboard our Carrier and Oiler. The ones I met I'm sure were very talented at their Jobs but really didn't interest me. How can I put this Nicely? There is a Term, Fleety, Nasty, Knarly, Salty Dog, Fleet Sailor Male or Female.

Response by SCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 14 at 2016 1:12 AM

SCPO Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 14 Aug 2016 01:12:06 -0400

'Shore didn't have this problem in the 1970s when I was at sea. (Well, there was no talk of "love" in the usual ways!!!)

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 20 at 2016 6:11 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 20 Aug 2016 18:11:02 -0400

Guess it's really no different than people hooking up on FOBS in Iraq and Afgahnistan. If they're married to each other, or both are single consenting adults, not in a position of power over one another, and lastly doesn't interfere with daily duties, then who cares?

Response by SGT Suraj Dave made Aug 20 at 2016 7:03 PM

SGT Suraj Dave — Sat, 20 Aug 2016 19:03:54 -0400

Lol that's one thing about the Army... everyone cheats on everyone pretty much.... I saw most marriages end in divorce. Especially the dual service ones. Its incredibly hard to maintain a healthy relationship in the Army.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 20 at 2016 10:28 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 20 Aug 2016 22:28:55 -0400

Basically any time there are men and women together this happens.

Response by PO3 John Keas made Aug 20 at 2016 10:50 PM

PO3 John Keas — Sat, 20 Aug 2016 22:50:39 -0400

It happens. Probably more often than people want to admit. I heard rumors of people having relations even before females served on ships while underway...because "It's not gay if it's underway"

I am not ashamed to admit, I was a virgin until after my first and only West Pac cruise. I also did not have a "Boat Ho" at all during my entire time. I didn't care if anyone else did or didn't. It wasn't my business. I assume it happened tho, but never put any effort into finding out.

Response by PO3 Donald Murphy made Aug 23 at 2016 9:42 AM

PO3 Donald Murphy — Tue, 23 Aug 2016 09:42:41 -0400

Being at sea is stressful. Its arduous duty. Yes, thats why we get sea pay but that doesn't make up for it. More port calls. Don't wanna do it? Then don't complain. Don't prisoners get conjugal visits? Yes they do. So why is it that people defending the nation don't? "Gee they're at sea 9 months and we can't understand why they're having sex..." Instead of all the touchy feely politically correct bullshit, pull into port and let the sailors go to town and let off steam. "Weeee...we've been at sea 9 months straight - let's pull into port and build an orphanage!!" I don't think so. Give everyone uncontrolled liberty.

Response by PO2 David Ball made Aug 23 at 2016 1:51 PM

PO2 David Ball — Tue, 23 Aug 2016 13:51:31 -0400

If caught they are gone and yes in one of my surge cruises a pair were caught and discharged ! Both of them !

Response by LT Bob McFarland DC USNR (Ret'd) made Aug 23 at 2016 3:10 PM

LT Bob McFarland DC USNR (Ret'd) — Tue, 23 Aug 2016 15:10:04 -0400

From: B.J. Mc Farland LT DC USNR (Ret'd)
To: PO2 George Martin
Subject: Women on ships at sea

I served as an enlisted man from 1952 to 1961. Served on 2 ships, the USS Forrestal CVA-59 and the USS Mauna Loa AE8, Thank God we didn't have any women serving on board ship. It's tough enough to ride out the long periods of time between being ashore and coming back to shore. One of the biggest mistakes the Navy ever made was to allow women to be on ships at sea with men. Men are men and the testosterone is going to kick in and cause all kinds of problems at sea. It's bad enough when a ship pulls into a foreign port after being out at sea for several weeks. Guys go ashore and act like total idiots. They come back to their ship with diseases like the crabs, gonnorhea, syphilis etc. All the Navy has done by allowing women on ships is to bring all of the problems aboard ship.

We pulled into Panama City, Panama in 1954 on our way through the Panama Canal to the East coast. Anyone with any intelligence knew that Panama was the top venereal disease country of the world. Most of my friends came back aboard with some kind of disease. Thank God again, I didn't because I abstained.

The Old Navy was a beautiful experience. I am very proud to have served during that time.

B.J. Mc Farland LT DC USNR (Ret'd)

Response by CPO Zack Lindsey made Aug 23 at 2016 10:29 PM

CPO Zack Lindsey — Tue, 23 Aug 2016 22:29:21 -0400

I did 26 years in the BEST NAVY around and I do not know any CPO around that would just keep said goings on in the mess. And do nothing it would be stopped at mess level. And if it could not than it would go on up the chain. I'm certain that that some where there was something going on in some mess somewhere hell we have or had a lot of ships out there in that pond. And it did not did not have to be the mess could been a mag, engine room, supplyroom,gun MT HELL SOME OF THOES SHIPS believe it or not are real big a lot of places to hide for a cpl of minutes just saying not that I ever did cause I did not and I will swear to that in court

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 23 at 2016 11:22 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 23 Aug 2016 23:22:50 -0400

Well if it's anything like army deployments then everyone is screwing somebody. Nothing like walking in on a bunker train

Response by CPO Charles Helms made Aug 24 at 2016 7:39 AM

CPO Charles Helms — Wed, 24 Aug 2016 07:39:48 -0400

I never had to deal with female sailors at sea during my 22 year career!! The only hooks up I had to deal with were 2 dudes hooking up!! What the hell did the Navy think was going to happen when you put men and women on combat ships?? I don't know how it was on the tenders, because they aren't usually at sea for 30-45 days at a time or longer now!! Now we put women of fast attack and boomers, I wonder sometimes who let the leaders out of the asylum on many of the changes to the Navy and the military in general!! All I can say is I'm glad I am retired!!

Response by Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen made Aug 24 at 2016 8:04 AM

Lt Col John (Jack) Christensen — Wed, 24 Aug 2016 08:04:19 -0400

No sailor here, but have to ask how common are hookups at home base?

Response by CPO Michael Callegri made Aug 24 at 2016 4:00 PM

CPO Michael Callegri — Wed, 24 Aug 2016 16:00:50 -0400

This is an interesting subject. I'm going to leave my personal views to myself. I would say though, that when these types of things has happened the offenders have not thought of the consequences until it was too late. I do remember on my last ship and deployment that female LCDR ruined her promising career by getting herself involved in a situation like this. I'm not going to go into the whole situation. Still by far, I would not say this is a majority of sailors on a deployment, so let's not bad mouth them all.

Response by SR Terrilynne Porst made Aug 25 at 2016 3:55 AM

SR Terrilynne Porst — Thu, 25 Aug 2016 03:55:39 -0400

It happens a lot more than you think.
Granted, I was in 1990, when they were still integrating females onto ships. I was stationed on west coast sub tender. When I reported to the ship, I was told by my CPO I was not allowed to say no to any male. When I said no, I was raped. One night, a group of them came back to the ship drunk and decided to gang rape.
Needless to say, I tried to kill myself because it was better than having to deal with that. It affected my whole life (drinking and drugs just to deal with life) and still does.

A piece of advice. If anyone (male or female) tells you they were raped, BELIEVE THEM.

I did some research, and have found at least 12 (so far) serial rapists/killers that were prior military (I refuse to call them veterans, as most were dishonorable discharged, without any rape charges).