Should leaders "friend" their Soldiers on Social Media?

SFC Richard M. — Wed, 21 Jan 2015 11:19:29 -0500

I've been told it's a good way to keep tabs on them, but I think it's a conflict of interest. I don't like it and I don't do it. The only exception would be for Soldiers who have PCS'd or ETS'd

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 21 at 2015 12:47 PM

CW5 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 21 Jan 2015 12:47:10 -0500

I agree with you, SFC Richard M.. On the one hand, it would be a good way to stay in touch with your troops and be able to communicate with them. On the other hand, "friending" your troops on social media is the virtual equivalent of hanging out with them in person (going to a bar, restaurant, sporting event, having them over for a cookout, etc.).

I would think there might be unit policies on this topic, and I would anticipate that fraternization would play some role in the decision regarding "friending" between subordinates and supervisors.

Response by COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM made Feb 8 at 2015 12:11 AM

COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 00:11:28 -0500

Friending one's Soldiers on Social Media depends upon how you and they use the social media.
- If you are a leader and use social media to interact with your Soldiers and within your unit (ie FRG information dissemination) then friending is a good decision.
- If you want to keep your personal and your professional life separate then friending your Soldiers is a bad idea.
- A way to strike a compromise between the two above ideas is to have a social media site for your friends and family and a different site/page for your Soldiers (IE two different Facebook pages) or to use different sites for different purposes (IE use Facebook for friends/family while using Rallypoint for Soldiers/professional).
- At the end of the day, there is no "right" answer to your question. There is only the answer that is "right" for you.
- To CW5 Montgomery's point, some units have SOPs addressing social media while others do not. The ones that have SOPs are not in agreement. Some allow it, some do not. The technology is not new but the uses of the technology are moving faster than the leadership.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 12:24 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 00:24:38 -0500

I don't friend subordinates in my unit on FB, however I have so on RP and LinkedIn.
I do use FB for unit info including our BN FRG, but not as my personal account.
Once a Soldier departs my unit (or I depart) I have accepted friend requests. There have even a couple of times when our paths cross again professionally and I've de-friended them while we're in the same unit again.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 2:11 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 02:11:06 -0500

Aside from this page I say no SFC Richard M..

I inform my Soldiers upfront that I will not friend them and that it is nothing personal but professional. There needs to be separation.

ETS'd I do not have a problem with friend them. PCS'd though, I am still not comfortable with that.

Another reason would be the drama factor because if you friend one you have to friend them all. I know no one would want to do that. :)

Once we allow ourselves to get too close to the Soldiers we lose our ability to Lead them.

Response by MAJ(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 7:23 AM

MAJ(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 07:23:02 -0500

Slippery slope. However, for me, it depends on the level of professionalism of my subordinate. Most times you can tell if your subordinate is a professional and a future leader. You can also tell when your subordinate is the exact opposite.

Also, I don't use FB to get too personal in general. I am very private and cognizant of what I place on the Internet. I never do, much less post, anything that would deter from my professionalism or undermine my authority. The subordinates that I do "friend" follows suit.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 8 at 2015 7:29 AM

CSM Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 07:29:38 -0500

As a BN CSM I created an official facebook page that Soldiers and their families could "like" not "friend". I put out in battalion formation that the page was maintained by me and nobody else. It was direct communication to me that was there for Soldiers to use if the chain of command/support channel could not solve a problem. I always stressed the importance of using the chain of command/support channel.

The page was a huge success, Soldiers and families (mostly families when we deployed) loved it. I was also able to help numerous Soldiers with problems they were afraid to talk to their chain of command/ support channel. I identified and personally talked with four Soldiers and two NCOs that were thinking about committing suicide and got them the help they needed, none of them took their own life. I also helped with some family issues for several Soldiers.

That worked well for me as a leader. When I left the battalion I turned it over to the incoming CSM and told him what a great tool it was. Once PSCd I friended several NCOs and officers that I served with in that battalion on my personal facebook, we keep in touch and I am always there to give advice and guidance. The NCOs come to me a lot for questions or advice and some come to just shoot the shit and see how I am doing.

It's a great tool if used properly.

Response by Capt Richard I P. made Feb 8 at 2015 8:35 AM

Capt Richard I P. — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 08:35:10 -0500

I don't use FB. For LI and RP I've developed an informal 'SNCO and above rule' for friend requests veterans evaluated case by case but always against the test 'would it be appropriate for me to be known publicly to have private communication with this person.'

Response by SSG Sean Garcia made Feb 8 at 2015 11:39 AM

SSG Sean Garcia — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 11:39:38 -0500

Nope, it's unprofessional and blurs the fine line between Sokdier and leader. Though, some Soldiers don't make their accounts private and when they are "sick" forget to mention the fact that they were at a party the night before.

Response by SSG Joe Stone made Feb 8 at 2015 11:52 AM

SSG Joe Stone — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 11:52:33 -0500

I don't think that friending your subordinates on any social media platform is a great idea, with the exception of the circumstance you provided. To me it's the same thing as socializing with them outside of the work environment; possibly creating a unprofessional atmosphere.

Response by SGM Billy Herrington made Feb 8 at 2015 11:57 AM

SGM Billy Herrington — Sun, 08 Feb 2015 11:57:00 -0500

For me, I dont. I will on here. Problems like the situations that have been brought up about sick when not, smack talk, etc are just some I'd rather not be privy to.

Response by SFC Rick H made Dec 11 at 2015 1:55 PM

SFC Rick H — Fri, 11 Dec 2015 13:55:17 -0500

My advice is no - hell no - does not pass the common sense test!

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 11 at 2015 3:58 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Fri, 11 Dec 2015 15:58:52 -0500

I would not do it as FB has an endless assortment of dog pictures, baby pictures, I changed my profile picture, and pictures of pictures.

Response by PO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 10 at 2016 10:42 AM

PO1 Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 10 Jun 2016 10:42:46 -0400

How I go about it though if I'm in a current command, I do not add senior enlisted or officers if I'm in the same command with them. They don't necessarily "keep tabs" on me either. If I need them, they get back with me. My previous LCPO I had on my FB to contact them via text if they were on the ship (no service inside the ship on the pier) in case if I was late or needed his assistance. Other than that, I didn't add any senior leaders to my FB until I got out of the command.

For E6 and below I go by the "one up and one down" aspect. As I progress through the ranks, it changes. Plus I am a PO so I will have a lot of PO friends; it would be the same way if I was a LT and had a lot of LT friends from the Academy or within my command.