RP are you ready to laugh your brains out???

2015-11-01T12:15:48-05:00

Ok RP, time to get a few giggles going into another work week. For entertainment purposes, I will not use the chances of the Dallas Cowboys being a good football team, but rather take us back to when we went through basic and AIT with DS Backbome. This is a PARODY skit, so NO AR 670-1 comments. You might've seen him on FB a time or two

GOLDEN ERA DRILL SERGEANT PHRASES (PART I)

OLDSCHOOL DS had a different way of communicating with their soldiers. Here is part one of the common Drill Sergeant Phrases from the Golden Era.

Response by SSgt Alex Robinson made Nov 1 at 2015 12:30 PM

2015-11-01T12:30:08-05:00

Great Sunday morning laugh!

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 1 at 2015 2:19 PM

2015-11-01T14:19:43-05:00

That certainly brought back some memories

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 1 at 2015 4:28 PM

2015-11-01T16:28:42-05:00

This is funny but did anyone else notice, this drill SGT had a number of uniform errors?

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Nov 1 at 2015 5:51 PM

2015-11-01T17:51:11-05:00

DS's are funny....as long as their not yours

GOLDEN ERA DRILL SERGEANT PHRASES PART2

Response by PO1 John Miller made Nov 1 at 2015 10:37 PM

2015-11-01T22:37:03-05:00

I'll never understand you weirdo Army guys and talking at Parade Rest! :)

Response by Capt Mark Strobl made Nov 2 at 2015 11:26 AM

2015-11-02T11:26:21-05:00

"Why does my barracks smell like Preparation-H, sweat, and fear?" <--That's one I've never heard. Good Stuff, SSG Warren Swan!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 28 at 2016 4:29 PM

2016-09-28T16:29:39-04:00

Love it!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 28 at 2016 8:08 PM

2016-09-28T20:08:43-04:00

Yusha Thomas AKA Drill Sergeanr Backbone.

Response by SPC Shane Bonds made Sep 29 at 2016 4:49 AM

2016-09-29T04:49:14-04:00

First day of Basic Training the Drill Sergeant threw his hat on the ground and yelled, "I bet you're not man enough to step on my hat." I stepped on his hat before he could finish his sentence. My platoon parted like Moses parting the Red Sea. He looked at his hat then at me and asked. " Are you fucking crazy or stupid." I replied with a thunderous, "YES! Drill Sargeant!" For the next few days I stood in front of the CQ Office at Parade rest with the stepped on hat in front of me. I got smoked by every DS and officers who came by.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 29 at 2016 6:54 PM

2016-09-29T18:54:41-04:00

My Drill Sergeant once explained why we didn't take food back to the tents with us: "Because you'll wake up in the middle of the night getting face-fucked by a 50 pound raccoon, and you know what you're going to do? You're going to take it. Because I told you not to take food back to the damn tent!"

Response by SSG David Peters made Dec 5 at 2016 8:48 PM

2016-12-05T20:48:29-05:00

You think you good Private, I dont see you sh!ttin diamonds!

Response by PFC Thomas Gallagher made Dec 5 at 2016 9:41 PM

2016-12-05T21:41:30-05:00

In. The chow hall... stuff it in your neck,chew it on the way out ,and taste it on your own time

Response by SGT Thomas Harkins made Dec 6 at 2016 1:00 PM

2016-12-06T13:00:40-05:00

This is not beer privates this is refined water. Was graduate night after he been drinking with parents all night.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 6 at 2016 3:05 PM

2016-12-06T15:05:36-05:00

TI was drilling people on AF history and one of the trainees answered incorrectly then immediately apologized for said wrong answer. The TI yelled "AHHH! EVERY TIME A TRAINEE SAYS IM SORRY IT MAKES ME WANT TO PUNCH A BABY!"

Response by Jo Coleman made Dec 6 at 2016 7:05 PM

2016-12-06T19:05:41-05:00

Charlie Foxtrot Documentary

Response by SPC John Lanning made Dec 6 at 2016 7:40 PM

2016-12-06T19:40:04-05:00

"Eat it now, taste it later!"

"You do realize that you are issued that food, right Private?" "Do you know what that means?" "You are not authorized to enjoy it!"

"Who here is offended by curse words?"
"I am Drill Sargent."
"Well, that's too fucking bad, Private!"

"Damn, Private, your so fucking slow, I think we just time warped back to the stone age!"

Response by LTC G. R. Thompson made Dec 6 at 2016 8:33 PM

2016-12-06T20:33:25-05:00

"I ain't your buddy. I ain't your pal. And I don't want to take warm showers with you in the middle of the night...". Drill Sergeant G. Mansell, Ft. Knox, A-3-46, 1987

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2016 4:01 AM

2016-12-07T04:01:49-05:00

After being told to push, "Get your meat beaters off my grass privates!!!!"

Response by SPC Erik Frame made Dec 7 at 2016 5:14 AM

2016-12-07T05:14:46-05:00

Private! Down! You push till I get tired!

Tomorrow is graduation! Some of you uglies are going to have your ugly mothers here! I don't want to meet her and I'm not going to be nice, so don't play nice to me or I'll smoke your ass in front of her!

Response by SGT Carl Brown Jr. made Dec 7 at 2016 6:04 AM

2016-12-07T06:04:38-05:00

The day after Steve Irwin died:

"Wake up privates! The crocodile hunter is fuckin' dead! Stingray stabbed him through the heart! And that is exactly why you keep your dick beaters off the wildlife!"
D.S. Jason Fish E 2/47 Ft Benning, Ga 2006

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2016 6:22 AM

2016-12-07T06:22:45-05:00

Fort benning 2013, final formation before bed on the last Sunday before graduation. DS come out screaming a pissed off and after threatening everytime he was on duty he finally orders "every swinging dick in this company up to 4th platoon bay" and commenced the worst like 2 hour smoking session that we'd had the whole cycle.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2016 9:29 AM

2016-12-07T09:29:45-05:00

* we were "Delta Dogs"
Private! If u don't get ur SHIT together, I'm a teach u how to cook hot-dog with out fire

Response by Capt Andrew Hairston made Dec 7 at 2016 10:05 AM

2016-12-07T10:05:10-05:00

My SI hated one of our unit leader's voice. "Your cadence sucks, you sound horrible. Go over the to the edge of the treeline and call cadence until I see bambi and some birds and butterflies come out and start dancing around you! It better look like a Disney movie!"

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2016 12:30 PM

2016-12-07T12:30:56-05:00

Middle of June at for Jackson. During our final FTX we did our 16k ruck out to the site. Once we got there we ate chow, set up, dug foxholes all that. That night it was storming out and because of the lightening we weren't authorized to sleep in out tents so we had to slee under a covered area. So 200 soldiers under a lighting pad all bunched up in sleeping bags smelled like hot a**. DS H "Privates, do you smell that? Do you smell the smell that you mouth breathers have created? It's smell like a damn heard of Hippos with yeast infections. I'm pretty sure baby wipes were on your packing list"

Response by ENS Reid Wackermann made Dec 7 at 2016 7:24 PM

2016-12-07T19:24:56-05:00

When I was in OCS and my Marine DI was beating us with rifles, he looked at his watch and said "Zero!"(which meant stop) "Eyeballs!"(look at the DI), "Well lookie here, is 11:11, everyone makes a wish.........(long pause) "Nope, didn't come true! Get your ass back to work!" That was week 3 of 12. We has a long way to go.
My DI also loved to reference "F*cking banana spiders!" All the time too. He had some good ones.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 7 at 2016 9:17 PM

2016-12-07T21:17:27-05:00

"You keep up that spaztastic happy horse shit, I'm gonna shove my foot so far up your ass you'll be tasting kiwi until the second coming of Christ.

Response by PO2 Justin Morin made Dec 8 at 2016 9:51 AM

2016-12-08T09:51:15-05:00

CC walked into barracks and screamed in disgust! Ran everyone outside to smoke us! Shouts " I don't understand how you disgusting people live in a space that smells like the ass crack of a homeless man!!" Never did question his point of reference.

Response by SGT Paul Croas made Dec 8 at 2016 12:29 PM

2016-12-08T12:29:45-05:00

I was in OSTU (Basic Traing and AIT together), one day we are getting smoked in a parking lot! The DI yells, "Do you know why you're get smoked"? We all yell "No Drill Sergeant"! He replies "You graduated Basic Training, three weeks ago!"

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 8 at 2016 9:00 PM

2016-12-08T21:00:21-05:00

PVT I tell you what your a damn walking abortion gone wrong.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 8 at 2016 9:57 PM

2016-12-08T21:57:43-05:00

Sunday at chow. "Never take lead in a gang bang because ten years later you'll get a letter in the mail asking for 10 years back child support"

Response by PV2 Christopher Graham made Dec 9 at 2016 4:20 AM

2016-12-09T04:20:41-05:00

Had a Drill Sergeant at Delta 1-48 at beloved Ft. Lost-in-the-Woods once tell us that "If your canteen is empty, you are wrong! You need to fill it! And if your canteen is full, you are wrong! You need to drink!"

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 9 at 2016 11:26 AM

2016-12-09T11:26:02-05:00

After seeing an airman waving his flashlight while marching, our MTI who was in the middle of our smoke session yells "EXCUSE ME WHILE I GOT TEACH OBI WAN KENOBI HOW TO USE HIS FUCKING LIGHT SABER" The melt down was epic and it took everything in me not to laugh at the bad star wars puns and anger being spewed at the guy with the light.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 9 at 2016 4:41 PM

2016-12-09T16:41:40-05:00

Drill sgt asked the private if he had shaved that morning. Put responded with "yes drill sarnt"
DS "with what? A fucking flip flop?"

Same DS in response to a question about stopping shaving bumps.

"Idk private my face is so hard I could shave with a butter knife and not get razor bumps"

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 9 at 2016 6:35 PM

2016-12-09T18:35:46-05:00

We had a female DS from another company approach us one day and asked us a question. I can't remember exactly what it was. But I responded with "Yes ma'am."
"DO I LOOK LIKE A MA'AM TO YOU!? GET DOWN AND PUSH PRIVATE UNTIL ITS TIME FOR YOU TO GO INSIDE!"

About a minute later one of my DS came out and asked why I was pushing and one of the others told him what happened. He looked down at me and said, "Get your ass up. Hell, she should be flattered that you said that. I thought it was a damn man!"

Response by SFC Steve Greene made Dec 9 at 2016 6:46 PM

2016-12-09T18:46:50-05:00

My Favorite Saying was, You rather Slide Down a Mountain of Razor Blades into a pool of Alcohol than to Ever Think about touching my Round Brown

Response by LCpl Peter Gamel made Dec 9 at 2016 7:24 PM

2016-12-09T19:24:29-05:00

No names, but was being quarterdecked, responded to a question with an "Aye Sir" through my teeth, after which I was ordered to attention. The drill instructor began head butting the brim of his campaign cover against my face saying "oooohhh yeaaaaahh get mad bitch! You're giving me wood motherfucker. You gonna fight me boy? You wanna take a swing at the ol' Drill instructor, recruit?" Keeps going for about half a minute... "You think you can lick me, boy?" I regain my bearing and reply "No Sir!". Drill instructor screams before I finish the word "Sir" THAT'S RIGHT BECAUSE YOUUU (points finger near my with his knuckle digging into my nose" AIN'T LICKING SHIT BUT WINDOWS AND MY NUTS YOU RETARDED FUCK!!!! (Quieter). Now push, bitch."

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 9 at 2016 7:55 PM

2016-12-09T19:55:02-05:00

AIT at FT. Sam during fall of 2006. DS decided to wake us around 0200 to let us know the new Army motto...Army Strong. As we duck walked around the barracks he yells, "Y'all are weak and disgusting! There are dust bunnies the size of wabbits running around here. We will duck walk and grab those f@&?ers by the ears. I'm gonna make you ARMY STRONG!"

Response by A1C James Notestine made Dec 9 at 2016 8:48 PM

2016-12-09T20:48:09-05:00

Our town lib day at Lackland, our DI told us "Don't go fuckin them goes in town, it's like sticking your dick in a jar of warm mayonnaise." I wasn't stupid enough to ask him how he knew what THAT felt like....

Response by SPC Adolfo Cisnero Jr. made Dec 9 at 2016 9:45 PM

2016-12-09T21:45:47-05:00

DS Smith snuck into a huddle of privates while DS Edwards was giving us a briefing. At the end, DS Edwards said, "Any questions, privates?" DS Smith raised his had and said in a high-pitched voice, " Drill Sergeant, Drill Sergeant! My pussy hurts!"

A lot of privates got smoked for laughing....

Response by PVT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 9 at 2016 10:34 PM

2016-12-09T22:34:19-05:00

Farted one day in the barracks drill sargeant Reyes said who did that everyone in the room said FISH he says push i pushed for like 5 minutes drill sargeant jones came out of office and said why are you pushing i farted drill sargeant sit back down at least you didnt shit yourself

Response by PFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 10 at 2016 1:15 AM

2016-12-10T01:15:13-05:00

"Privates keep your provate things private or so help me god I will beat you in private with another private inform of the privates, got it"

"Yes SDS"

"Of course you do cause I said it"

-ft benning D 1/46 2016

Response by PFC Emmitt Monslow made Dec 10 at 2016 2:27 AM

2016-12-10T02:27:18-05:00

We had a DI who would would stare at us. If he ever caught you staring at him he would come over and get in your face and say" PVT why are you looking at me looking at you looking at me like I fucked up? Then he would make them push for awhile.

Response by LCpl Christopher Bieniek made Dec 10 at 2016 2:32 AM

2016-12-10T02:32:24-05:00

Been blown up a few time.... got it?!?
...
Got a few.. SCREWWWSS loose!!
Good to go?!?

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 10 at 2016 1:11 PM

2016-12-10T13:11:57-05:00

Private, you fuck up one more time, I'll kick you in the nuts and make you sing like Maria Carey!

I love the Army Privates! It's the only place where I can play with all my Privates in public and get away with it! Now it's play time! Half-right Face!

You cold Private? It's ok, I'll help you and your buddies out. Platoon! Attention! Half-right Face!

Rock drill time Privates! Run to that hill, at the top, find a rock, pick it up, iron Mike back here and build me a mountain! 2 hours later....Good job Privates! Now use those rocks to build me a mountain on the top of that hill!

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 10 at 2016 2:14 PM

2016-12-10T14:14:00-05:00

He's a CSM now. Always Sharp!

Response by MAJ Jr C made Dec 10 at 2016 4:44 PM

2016-12-10T16:44:39-05:00

SGT AIRBORNE at jump school before our first jump: "If your main fails, deploy your reaerve. If your reserve fails...you can shake it, throw rocks at it, break wind at it...do whtever the f&$) you have to because you have the REST of your AIRborne life to get that chute open."

Response by SPC Dennis Manning made Dec 10 at 2016 9:31 PM

2016-12-10T21:31:37-05:00

While low crawling through the pit at night. "Don't eyeball me boy! I will stick my flashlight up your ass and make you glow in the dark!"

Response by SGT Gary Marsh made Dec 11 at 2016 12:00 AM

2016-12-11T00:00:20-05:00

Drill sgt in basic yelled at a female, "you damn doggone ugly, ain't no man going to buy you anything, you know why, cause you ugly. You see her over there, she purty, she going to have a purty man going to buy her purty thangs, why? Because she damn doggon purty. You, not so much, cause you damn doggon ugly."

Response by LCpl Dan T made Dec 11 at 2016 1:14 AM

2016-12-11T01:14:26-05:00

First night in San Diego MCRD- 30 secs to shave, no hot water. My neck is nicked all over & bloody as hell. DI's descend on me like flies to shit "OH! This one wants out so bad he tried to kill himself shaving!"

Black flag day (over 95) so rifle manual in the squad bay- hot as balls, covered in sweat & rifles like they were dipped in CLP. Had us practicing carry arms (holding rifle 2 in off the deck by the barrel w/ thumb & palm, fingers extended) forever. "You better hit the deck before that rifle does privates!" My hand was cramping & the bayonet stud was begging my index finger to save it. DI Oberhauser comes from behind, grips my hand & squeezes that finger into every point of the stud while nose to nose & spits Copenhagen in my face "fucking cunt!" I paid dearly for that one...

First day of mess duty, black flag, in and out of reefers all day- 0-95-0-95 so on. Pass out in formation that night waiting to March back and wake up to Oberhauser "get up you fucking cunt! no sleeping on my fucking dock!"

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 11 at 2016 8:30 AM

2016-12-11T08:30:14-05:00

Drill Sergeant Alaqin, 1986 while handing out MREs, pulls out a chicken Ala King and states "check it out privates, they even put my name on this shit"

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 11 at 2016 10:17 AM

2016-12-11T10:17:31-05:00

"Best part of you must have slid down your momma's ass crack and ended up as a dirty stain on the bed sheet." DS Rose Ft Sill B1-3, Aug 1989

Response by 1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 5 at 2017 1:01 PM

2017-01-05T13:01:38-05:00

I got one, but I was the Hat.
I walked into the head and ordered "Recruit Johnson"
Recruits respond with "Recruit Johnson, Aye Aye, Sir"
All I hear is cricket-cricket. So I repeated myself.
Recruits respond with "Recruit Johnson, Aye Aye, Sir". I am expecting a parting of the green sea with a sweaty ass Recruit Johnson posted in front of me, responding in his best voice "Aye aye, Sir, Aye Aye, Recruits. Recruit Johnson reporting as ordered, Sir". Instead I all hear is, from the very back, is "if he was up your ass eating a ham sandwich, you would know". The look on the platoon was priceless. They all had that "you done fucked up look on their face" and the green sea parted, 65 recruits all pointing at the former guide. Being that I was known more for my firmness than compassion, I gave the recruit an opportunity to go to the quarter deck to sweat a 4 square of tiles. It was priceless and I laughed all the way to the rack that night. Every hat that came in for the next couple of weeks would ask "Where is he?" and the recruits would all sound off "Recruit Sandwich, Aye Aye, Sir".