Public Displays of Affection in Uniform

MAJ Bryan Zeski — Sun, 06 Apr 2014 14:29:40 -0400

<div>What is your understanding of the current Army policies/regulations on PDA?</div><div><br></div>Do you correct Soldiers who you see engage in PDA in uniform?<div><br></div><div>What regulation or document do you support that correction with?</div><div><br></div><div>At what level of affection does PDA "cross the line" from acceptable to prohibited?</div><div><br></div><div>Is it about "professionalism"?</div>

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 27 at 2014 9:19 PM

CSM Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 21:19:09 -0500

ALARACT 350-2011

Response by CW3 Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 27 at 2014 9:28 PM

CW3 Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 27 Jan 2014 21:28:01 -0500

I don't think that PDA should be something that needs to be regulated. I think it is one of those things that being a Soldier and an adult you would know its not appropriate. I like to put things into perspective to my Soldiers. Look at it like this. What would you do if you dropped off your kid at school and the teacher was making out with her husband in the hallway? Not cool. Unfortunately certain members of the military feel that they are owed something for serving and they are the main violators of the "common sense" rules that have to be enforced due to sheer ignorance of people nowadays. We had to make No Texting and Driving a law...really? I do think that there are situations that it should be allowed, particularly the ones you mentioned, but you shouldn't have to enforce something that is taboo in a modern work environment.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 28 at 2014 3:22 AM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 28 Jan 2014 03:22:16 -0500

No. absolutely not!

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 6 at 2014 9:45 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 06 Apr 2014 21:45:09 -0400

I think the ALARACT message at the following link clarifies it. It seems that what crosses the line is purely subjective and situation dependent. I don't often see PDA while Soldiers are in uniform, but if I do I would simply tell them that their conduct is not appropriate where/when they are doing it. I do think this is about professionalism. PDA can quickly establish an awkward situation. How would it look if the CO or 1SG were to bring their spouse into the company area and begin having a "make-out session" in front of their Soldiers?

http://www.bragg.army.mil/1stTSC/documents/ALARACT_350_2011_CLARIFICATION-20OF-20ARMY-20STAND.pdf

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Response by CSM Michael J. Uhlig made Apr 6 at 2014 11:05 PM

CSM Michael J. Uhlig — Sun, 06 Apr 2014 23:05:35 -0400

Most of this is common sense, nobody wants to see someone with their tongue down someone else's throat walking out of the px/bx, c'mon now.

When I think about a time when 'pda" is generally acceptable, it is the emotional reception and return at our welcome home ceremonies. I think we all get emotional and appreciate the rejoicing moments when we see our loved ones after we return from deployments.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 7 at 2014 1:14 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 07 Apr 2014 01:14:21 -0400

My husband and I are dual military. We do not have public displays of affection while in uniform, even when prodded by the chain of command. My husband was receiving an award in front of the battalion and the CSM made a comment that the ceremony wasn't over until we had kissed. We both looked at him and said, "we don't do that Sergeant Major." He looked mildly perplexed for a second but got over it relatively quickly. Their issue has not been raised since....lol

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 7 at 2014 1:28 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 07 Apr 2014 01:28:18 -0400

It is closely related to what is considered acceptable PDA in any setting, not limited to the military/uniform. No one would want to be walking their kids to the car from the mall and see two people aggressively kissing in the parking lot. It should be closely related to social norms.

My wife was here long before the army, and god willing she will be here long after. I'll hold her hand every chance I get. Holding hand, A peck on the cheek or -GASP-- a peck on the lips after a lunch date during the duty day, shows strong marital bonds. A positive message to anyone who might observe, IMHO.

If you wouldn't do it in front of small children, you shouldn't do it in uniform.

Is that an odd way to sum it up?

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 7 at 2014 1:36 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 07 Apr 2014 01:36:25 -0400

True story....I'm currently stationed at KAF, I haven't been around units outside of the 82d for a while. I was walking and  I saw (I'm not lying)a national guard female cpl walking side by side with a male civilian, side hugging  and holding hands while walking.<div>Luckily I was twice as big as her "boyfriend" so he just had to stand there as I educated her on being stupid, but I realized I kinda saw them at a distance and they passed a lot of other leaders that didn't say a word.</div><div>Anyways, that's my 2¢</div>

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Apr 7 at 2014 9:22 AM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 07 Apr 2014 09:22:06 -0400

Common sense should apply here. I will say this though, PDA in uniform is a long and historic tradition under certain circumstances.

Response by SGT Bryon Sergent made Apr 7 at 2014 1:14 PM

SGT Bryon Sergent — Mon, 07 Apr 2014 13:14:51 -0400

Well I'd Have to agree that SUCKING face is in appropriate. But if I am walking holding my wife's hand and someone was to tell me that it is inappropriate I'd probably polity tell them to FO! There isn't a regulation banning it. As someone else commented if we are having lunch and we are leaving then I will hug my wife and give her a cheek peek or a lip peck! Not going to stop! I think it goes to someone not wanting to see a same sex couple kissing. Then it goes back to what was said earlier! If you wouldn't do it in front of children, don't do it. If you would then don't do it in public at all. Most that are doing it in public are LOOK AT ME people anyways! That is my 2 cents sorry to offend. <br>

Response by CW2 Jonathan Kantor made Apr 7 at 2014 2:51 PM

CW2 Jonathan Kantor — Mon, 07 Apr 2014 14:51:43 -0400

It is about professionalism and the integrity of the uniform. Simply stated, we cannot make out with anyone in uniform. There are caveats to that rule though. You can break the rule when leaving or returning from a deployment. That being said, you need to keep it clean.

When Don't Ask, Don't Tell was getting booted (Finally!), my G2 called all of the leadership in the ACE to a conference room and we went over some vignettes related to the whole thing. At one point, he asked if it would be OK for two men to kiss in uniform while out on the town. I raised my hand and said, hell no! He asked why, and my response was, "If I can't make out with my wife in public, then the same goes for everyone else!"

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 23 at 2015 6:08 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 06:08:06 -0500

MAJ Zeski, is it a simple kiss on the lips or a hug or are they acting like they've been separated for a deployment? If it's the former I don't make a big deal because I kiss my wife in public or hug her while I'm in uniform. But she understands the protocol and she holds my arm if we're walking together.

Now the latter is a different story outside homecoming celebrations.

Response by Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 23 at 2015 8:33 AM

Lt Col Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 08:33:40 -0500

Depends on the PDA. Holding hands, fine. Hug and a quick kiss, fine. Making out...too far. Grabbing each other's personal areas...too far.

Response by SFC Collin McMillion made Feb 23 at 2015 8:53 AM

SFC Collin McMillion — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 08:53:20 -0500

Many years ago when I first came back I wanted to hug and kiss everyone,because I did make it back, problem was, no one wanted me. We were the "baby killing, war mongering, dogs", so therefore outcasts.

Response by SFC Collin McMillion made Feb 23 at 2015 8:55 AM

SFC Collin McMillion — Mon, 23 Feb 2015 08:55:00 -0500

P.S. I think my momma did kiss me on the cheek though.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 8 at 2015 1:48 AM

SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 08 Mar 2015 01:48:15 -0500

I think it is okay for Soldiers in uniform to give someone a quick kiss. I do not agree with someone sitting there making out with another person while in uniform. I also don't think that someone should walk around holding hands with someone (unless they are their child).

Response by SSG Trevor S. made Mar 8 at 2015 3:26 AM

SSG Trevor S. — Sun, 08 Mar 2015 03:26:08 -0400

Sometimes it's appropriate even if the couple sucking face isn't on a date together at the time:

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 10 at 2015 10:06 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 10 Sep 2015 10:06:14 -0400

You mean Soldiers with Soldiers or you mean like a Soldier walking with his wife to the commissary?

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Sep 10 at 2015 8:52 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 10 Sep 2015 20:52:12 -0400

It would be a perfect world if this wasn't required to regulate. Unfortunately there are those that will not understand boundaries for whatever reason and you have to have something available to be able to enforce common sense.