Post Traumatic Stress and Children. What are your thoughts?

2015-05-29T10:24:55-04:00

My daughter wrote this today. I am sure that there is a discussion regarding how our deployments affected our kids, but this poem really struck a nerve and I wanted to share.

Response by 1SG Jason Fitzpatrick made May 29 at 2015 10:25 AM

2015-05-29T10:25:30-04:00

Written by Raegan Fitzpatrick

Response by SSG James Arlington made May 29 at 2015 10:27 AM

2015-05-29T10:27:49-04:00

Wow.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2015 10:29 AM

2015-05-29T10:29:13-04:00

Beautiful poem sometimes we dont realize the effects on our little ones til something like this.

Response by SPC Jan Allbright, M.Sc., R.S. made May 29 at 2015 10:31 AM

2015-05-29T10:31:23-04:00

At the risk of having my head handed to me ...

Perhaps this is why warriors should not have families.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2015 10:31 AM

2015-05-29T10:31:52-04:00

Really, I hope you and your family will become stronger for this, and be happier in the long run. Best of luck.

I don't know if writing is something she has a knack for, but it certainly seems like it. I hope her great ability to express herself can be fostered and will help you all.

Nothing like crying children to go with your morning coffee to remind you that life sucks. I'm going to go hide in a corner now. (I'm sure my whole post is inappropriate. I really mean well, 1SG).

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2015 10:54 AM

2015-05-29T10:54:14-04:00

Top, this is very well written and is something that should be discussed at so many higher levels. Your daughter poignantly portrays everyday life from a child's perspective. My hope is that this goes viral and people realize that it is not just the servicemember that is affected. I also hope that you can somehow make it through everything that you are going through to be there how she needs you to be. I know it is not easy, but for all of those warriors out there dealing with their own demons I pray that they continue to work for a better tomorrow each and every day.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2015 11:11 AM

2015-05-29T11:11:01-04:00

You have a VERY strong daughter, Top. Very well written. I hope that she continues to be able to show you that her feeling about your struggles. My heart goes out to your family.

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2015 11:37 AM

2015-05-29T11:37:20-04:00

Top, I have borrowed this letter to share on Facebook, I haven't used your name or your daughter's name (of course) but the word needs to really get out.

This is what I posted with the letter:

A Retired First Sergeant on RallyPoint posted this today, his daughter wrote it and I apologize Top for stealing it but the words are what matter, this is so true, and not all PTSD is created equal. I know people whose PTSD has affected their entire ability to live a normal life while others only have the "minor" effects listed in this letter.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2015 1:40 PM

2015-05-29T13:40:29-04:00

Well written, and full of emotions. My heart goes out to you and your family, 1SG.

Response by MSG Bo Lathrop made May 29 at 2015 1:57 PM

2015-05-29T13:57:14-04:00

Gets me thinking about how I've treated my children since my return of my fourth deployment... I've been an asshole (sorry for the language). They are a little young to truly express their thoughts in a letter.. but everyday I see them getting a little more frightened of me.. Maybe I should talk to them, and try getting back to where things used to be. Tell your daughter thanks..

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made May 29 at 2015 7:46 PM

2015-05-29T19:46:49-04:00

1SG Jason Fitzpatrick, that is really compelling stuff.

Every day, I try to pick the kids up and spin them around just like always. Even when I don't want to because the joy I once had for it isn't there anymore. It is for them.

I spent a day in the yard with the kids over the weekend, just doing whatever they wanted. Frisbee.
Soccer.
Tossing a baseball.
My daughter ran up after a break in the action and hugged me and told me it was the "best day ever".
Life has been anything but perfect for me since I got home last fall. Pending divorce. Lots of tension and chaos. But for one perfect moment, I was just happy to be daddy.

Response by CPT Aaron Kletzing made May 29 at 2015 8:18 PM

2015-05-29T20:18:30-04:00

Wow, that is a powerful note to read.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made May 31 at 2015 10:44 AM

2015-05-31T10:44:18-04:00

TOP. Thanks for sharing because I know that for some this is a hard thing to admit. Second, this is really touching and how in tune your family is to you. I am sure that you and her will find the answers. It took me awhile to figure things out. But after my second tour, my son made me realize how much I needed to look at myself.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made May 31 at 2015 1:23 PM

2015-05-31T13:23:45-04:00

That is a good letter. For most PTSD troops who become stable, it does not mean you are the same. We miss who we were, but don't know how to change ourselves.

Response by 1SG Jason Fitzpatrick made Jul 1 at 2015 11:17 AM

2015-07-01T11:17:32-04:00

I was asked by a coworker if she could share this yesterday for PTSD day.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 31 at 2015 9:57 PM

2015-07-31T21:57:47-04:00

Children may be the best barometer to where we are at. It gets better over time.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 10 at 2015 10:57 AM

2015-12-10T10:57:28-05:00

I agree our behaviors affect our children.

Response by SSG Audwin Scott made Dec 10 at 2015 11:01 AM

2015-12-10T11:01:55-05:00

Not only does it affect our children but our spouses as well. This is one of the reasons I am going through my second divorce because of PTSD and depression. I can say I am a little better now and maybe it's because I am too myself for the most part. I get my children every other weekend so I still get to spend time with them individually.

Response by SPC(P) Jay Heenan made Dec 10 at 2015 12:25 PM

2015-12-10T12:25:30-05:00

Thank you for sharing that, it couldn't of been easy to read this poem from your daughter. Our families suffer as much, if not more, than we do sometimes. My heart aches for my brothers and sisters, and their families, suffering from the disability that can not be seen. I think that is where the Army fails, we don't do anything for the children of those who suffer from PTSD.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 10 at 2015 12:47 PM

2015-12-10T12:47:14-05:00

That is a good poem. My girls feel like that, sometimes it seems they blame me for who I am.

Response by SFC William Stephens made Aug 19 at 2017 1:53 PM

2017-08-19T13:53:11-04:00

I sometimes look at people as mirrors but it's strange because when I look at my little girl she's spitting image of me, I have PTSD, she sees me yelling at her mom, I know she yells at her mom and friends when I'm not around. Am I rubbing off on her or has she acquired some of my PTSD genes? I'm scared because she very young and I know she is slowly understanding I was invited in combat and I have some problems. I don't want her to go up with the same, maybe she was born with this listening to me scream and yell at her mom through her belly before she was born, could this be the case? I wonder as I sit her alone without anyone anymore.

Response by AN Christopher Crayne made Sep 10 at 2017 6:09 PM

2017-09-10T18:09:38-04:00

As it stands my two boys have alienated themselves from me. My PTSD and my children hit head on. I tried to keep it at a distance, and I would feel so many things I couldn't say or express. The boys were unable to understand what I was experiencing. I took to heavy drinking and distancing myself from them, everyone. I thought ,to protect them from my problems. Time went on and they have moved further away. I know they want me to be a happy father. And someday hopefully I will reconnect with them.