On lonely nights, would you trade all your military honor injury PTSD back for that warm friendship of that fiance you lost as a result?

2017-08-17T03:24:29-04:00

20 years pass reflecting. Simple amazing dreams sacrifice commitment come with loss confusion. What is more important in the end? Did I serve to lose all I hold dear ability to hold develop intimate relationships? Would the x be proud of the new warrior you seeking growth from ashes, new dreams from the loss, a great sad amazing honor test of strength revival belief love development risk depth?

Response by PO3 Aaron Hassay made Aug 17 at 2017 3:32 AM

2017-08-17T03:32:46-04:00

It is such a battle for me. I know I gained so many rare amazing things memories new friends in the veteran military community otherwise I would never have honor dignity of meeting. But on those cold nights, I enlisted in the military 18 for that american dream, a wife, kids, a house not years of confusion wonder injury dreams lost, discovering what psychiatric illness is caused by things on duty, having to place all the pieces back together after all the pieces of that initial American Dream were scattered all over the place. It is a test of the human soul the ability to risk so much and believe in so much and end up missing that warmth that keeps you going on cold nights. Dreams are great. But reality is what I want. I have it lucky I know. I am still alive. I need that spirit to always stay. But jeez I really had a good plan 18, all the ducks in a row, in bootcamp, e1 e2 Meritorious Advanced. I lean hard on the other Vets now. I picture I never knew I would live. The story I attempt to write with dignity and honor not ignoring the pain.

Response by SGT David T. made Aug 17 at 2017 8:09 AM

2017-08-17T08:09:49-04:00

I guess I view it differently. I don't look at what I sacrificed but what I gained. We also choose to be who we are and how we act. We can decide to allow meaningful relationships or not. I am not saying it is easy, but it is our own choice. I live my life in the present looking to the future. My past has many bad and good things about it, but that isn't who I am. Those experiences helped shape who I am, but they do not define me. I am who I decide to be. I act how I decide to act. I can dwell on the past or I can live in the present looking to the future with hope. I choose the latter.

Response by SGT Joseph Gunderson made Aug 17 at 2017 8:58 AM

2017-08-17T08:58:55-04:00

Never. I've been married and divorced twice and my only regret is that I chose women who weren't strong enough to stick it out through everything. My military service is a part of who I am and always will be; I wouldn't have it any other way. And I will more than happily wait around for the woman who can handle all the baggage that comes along with my past, because that's the one that will be worth a damn.

Response by PO3 Aaron Hassay made Aug 18 at 2017 3:22 PM

2017-08-18T15:22:22-04:00

It seems beautiful women are bountiful eye candy movie screen. New set list. New plays. Some want to be in the scene with you. Be patient for that. Be proactive for that as well. Be valuable to yourself then they will find you valuable as well.