My NCO singles me out, and has told my buddy he doesn't like me for non professional reasons. What should I do?

2016-05-12T15:04:48-04:00

My NCO constantly chooses me for the details he knows are bad, makes me stay late and releases the other soldiers in my section early, blocks me from going to schools, and if I come down on tdy orders he convinces them to choose someone else (he has done this twice in the past year.) Another specialist in my section who is friends with my NCO started taking notice and asked him why he does these things to me, which he responded with "I just don't like him as a person." It is not anything I have done professionally but who I am as a person. I asked him about it once and he shrugged it off. He backed off for a bit but he seems to be back at it again. What do I do? He pcs's soon, so should I just take it till he's gone? Or would that be allowing toxic leadership to continue? Any advice would be appreciated, thanks.

Response by Cpl Justin Goolsby made May 12 at 2016 3:16 PM

2016-05-12T15:16:06-04:00

If he's leaving soon, you should take it until he's gone. Primarily because if you request orders to get sent somewhere else, you might get sent exactly where he is and be stuck with him again. Unfortunately toxic leadership does prevail in every branch. The best thing you can do is learn from this experience so you know exactly what kind of leader you don't want to be when you're in his shoes. Now if he wasn't leaving, I would have suggested speaking with the next person higher in your chain about these incidents. At least then, they can either get the incidents to stop, or put you on separate shifts or even different work centers. But if he's leaving shortly, you might be better off just taking it on the chin for now.

Response by SGM Erik Marquez made May 12 at 2016 3:27 PM

2016-05-12T15:27:37-04:00

1st... three sides to every story ... we have heard but one..
2nd.. you have a third party statement"
Another specialist in my section who is friends with my NCO started taking notice and asked him why he does these things to me, which he responded with "I just don't like him as a person."

which i would take with a grain of salt... I'd be suspicious of a Sergeant having really having had that conversation with a specialist in your unit he knowns is a connection between you both. Or that what was said was taken in the manner intended or what was heard, was ALL that was said.

3rd... the beauty of the Army is sooner or later you or they PCS.. so perhaps waiting it out is the best bet, if it's just inconvenient,,,Use every opportunity to excel. Trust me, other leaders notice when even the most crappiest of taskings get done without drama, to standard, without a lot of hand holding...
If you excel at those tasks, you will likely receive "performance punishment" and get tasked to more by other leaders.. But those additional taskings will be because your leaders have confidence in your ability to finish them..

Ever consider something you are doing personality wise is causing the strife? You believe it is not anything done professionally on your part... do you know the NCO feels the same way? Perhaps it really bothers the SGT when a specialist who KNOWS the MP line needs to be swept every COB fridays never steps up on his own and just gets it done... always has to be told, found in the smoking area and sent to do the job he KNEW needed to be done... So even though "professionally" your vehicles are ready, the MP line is maintained AFTER your told... the issue is personality based not task oriented.

4th.. Ask for a meeting with the SGT, not to "call him out" but ask his advice, what could you improve on.. if no answer, or only generalities "you need to improve your attitude " "you need to work harder" "You need to do better" say thanks, can you give me an example of what Im doing/ not doing?

In a perfect world NCO's would be instantly experienced and knowledgeable in the task of leadership and communication when the rank is pinned on, reality is, soom are, many are not and have to learn. Perhaps the conversation between you too will teach him as much as you.

Response by SFC J Fullerton made May 12 at 2016 3:45 PM

2016-05-12T15:45:42-04:00

An NCO must know how to separate personal feelings from leadership business. I have had Soldiers and junior NCO's under me that I personally did not like, but I did not let that influence how I rated or counseled them, or who I chose for the shit details. That was substantiated by their actions and performance. Not saying that is your case. If you truly feel singled out for personal reasons not substantiated by your attitude, performance, or conduct, then by all means you should ask to speak to the next NCO in your chain of command, the one who is in charge of the NCO in question.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made May 12 at 2016 3:46 PM

2016-05-12T15:46:41-04:00

There are three sides to every story. A comment by a buddy may not be enough to take action, but quantifiable data is. There should be a DA Form 6 prepared by leadership that covers all kinds of details and published and posted for all to see. If you are being tasked unfairly the DA Form 6 should show it. If no DA Form 6 is posted then keep good records, to show that you are being unfairly tasked. Also, document when and for how long you are required to stay late and who else is present. That can show patterns of being targeted. If your leader is transparent on why he has chosen the Soldiers for TDY and put it out for all to know then it can show whether it was done fairly. There should be a published OML for school slots, ask for it. If it does not exist, then it better exit quickly - keep asking for it. It does not sound like toxic leadership, but that you may be getting Targeted by this leader, and that is not ok. What have you learned from this type of leadership?

Response by CPT Joseph K Murdock made May 12 at 2016 3:55 PM

2016-05-12T15:55:01-04:00

Let him PCS unless you want to go on the offensive and talk to his superiors. The choice is yours. This is one of the reasons I had an open door policy because of the fear and intimidation. I roll with what's right, not who has the highest rank.

Response by COL Jean (John) F. B. made May 12 at 2016 4:13 PM

2016-05-12T16:13:26-04:00

WO1 Private RallyPoint Member I would talk to him about it again and let him know that, if you feel you are bring unfairly singled-out, that you will take it up with his chain of command or the IG.

When you do that, be prepared for whatever reaction you get... Hopefully it will be a positive change. If not, go forward with taking it to someone else.

Of course, this all presupposes that he really is doing what you think. It could simply be your perception and lack of the "total picture". All I am saying is that you need to be sure you are right. Keeping records, as recommended by others, is a good idea.

Response by SGT Chris Stephens made May 12 at 2016 4:36 PM

2016-05-12T16:36:37-04:00

That's the beauty of the chain of command. Go up to the next level.

Response by SGM Jeff Bullard made May 13 at 2016 10:53 AM

2016-05-13T10:53:28-04:00

I think I would follow up with your higher NCO and have your buddy tell the senior NCO that you're being discriminated against professionally for personal dislikes. Maybe you get moved to another squad or platoon/section. NO matter what I thought of a Soldier personally I never let it effect how I treated him/her professionally.