My boyfriend and I are in the same unit and we both want to go active. Do you think they’ll let us have the same duty station?

2018-03-21T21:01:42-04:00

We plan on getting married but not just yet

Response by SPC Margaret Higgins made Mar 21 at 2018 9:03 PM

2018-03-21T21:03:39-04:00

PFC Private RallyPoint Member: I don't really have any idea. I wish that I could help you and your partner. GOD Bless the two of you.

Response by PVT Mark Brown made Mar 21 at 2018 10:28 PM

2018-03-21T22:28:32-04:00

I don't know but I just wanted to comment on your situation. I certainly hope you are able to stay together. There was a husband/wife team on the TV docu-series Chain of Command. They both deployed together. My wife and I owned an insurance agency and an antique store and worked together in both businesses together. I think the businesses were better for it. Just my nickel less 3

Response by Cpl Justin Goolsby made Mar 21 at 2018 11:07 PM

2018-03-21T23:07:24-04:00

Until you are married there is nothing linking you together. The military doesn't care who you are dating.

That being said, being married doesn't guarantee you'll be together either. Needs of the military come first. They just don't like paying out separation pay.

Response by SPC Mike Lake made Mar 21 at 2018 11:10 PM

2018-03-21T23:10:08-04:00

no guarantees if you aren't married all u an do is try....

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 21 at 2018 11:11 PM

2018-03-21T23:11:04-04:00

https://www.hrc.army.mil/content/Married%20Army%20Couples%20Program

Bottom line is that nothing guarantees you'll end up together for certain, but that the Army will do its best to ensure they try to get you together as much as is feasible.

I've encountered a number of married couples since I've been in who do go from station to station with one another. Granted, they are all MI, so my experience and theirs may be skewed to our career fields.

Good luck.

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Toll-Free: 1-888-ARMY-HRC (1-888-276-9472) DSN: 983-9500 AskHRC

Response by SPC Mike Lake made Mar 21 at 2018 11:11 PM

2018-03-21T23:11:33-04:00

each one of you can try to request first duty stations in writing when joining and try to gate the same duty stations i writing.... worth a shot

Response by SGT Joseph Gunderson made Mar 21 at 2018 11:33 PM

2018-03-21T23:33:42-04:00

They won't care. You aren't married thus they don't have to care. You will more than likely go to different places.

Response by COL Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 21 at 2018 11:56 PM

2018-03-21T23:56:49-04:00

Until you’re married the Army won’t make any special consideration. If you can work it out on your contract it could happen but other than that you might want to start going to church.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Mar 22 at 2018 1:08 AM

2018-03-22T01:08:14-04:00

You're young and in love. I get it. Let me give you some hard, cold advice: do not make life decisions based on this relationship. Not yet. Not until you're both ready to commit. Anything could happen. Your mind can change, his can, one of you can die in service, etc etc. Make your decisions, for now, based on what's best for YOU. Period.

Response by 2LT Ronald Reimer made Mar 22 at 2018 4:13 AM

2018-03-22T04:13:38-04:00

Absolutely! The Army wants what is best for the two of you, and since you have made the commitment of “planning on getting married”, they will support that. Just make sure you jot it down in pencil somewhere, like on your “Go Army” folder. Ask for matching uniforms and to have the same days off. (Of course I say that tongue in cheek. Don’t worry about it too much, you two won’t be together in 5 years from now. I’m not saying that to be mean, it’s just the law of probability).

Response by LTC Kevin B. made Mar 22 at 2018 7:43 AM

2018-03-22T07:43:10-04:00

If it happens, it will probably be much more due to luck/chance than being due to any willingness to accommodate your preferences.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 22 at 2018 9:12 AM

2018-03-22T09:12:27-04:00

All good advice already-- to add one more: You better your chances of getting stationed in the same place if you both request somewhere either enormous (more billets on large bases, so better chance of 2 of them being available for you both), or so crappy that no one else wants to go there (the detailers have to fill the billets, so LOVE volunteers to go to places that no one wants to go). The first year my husband and I spent together was when we both requested orders to Bahrain-- which actually didn't suck, but everyone thinks it sucks.

On a side note-- Depending on how long you've known each other/been together, and how young you are, and each of your beliefs/views on the permanence of marriage, I strongly consider waiting it out for at least one deployment (if not one deployment each) before getting married. Being in the military means you WILL spend time apart (even if it were only one of you in the military). The only 'IF' is how much time and how often. My husband and I were together almost 2 years before we got married and we met in our 30's-- pretty well established in our own senses of self identity (which doesn't truly happen for most people until at least their mid-to-late 20's if ever) so we knew exactly what we each wanted out of life and who we were marrying. We were also independently autonomous, so while the years we've spent stationed apart do suck (especially once we had a child), they don't suck as much as they would have if we didn't know how to function without each other.

Response by SFC Robert Walton made Mar 22 at 2018 9:25 AM

2018-03-22T09:25:01-04:00

Normally the Military will not commit until your married and then Only if a unit has open slots for both of your MOS's. This is also the case after you are Married. I would think you could imagine the Logistics of trying to keep you both in the same Duty Stations that being said If the Slots (by MOS) are needing filled they will normally do there best for currently Married couples. MHO

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Mar 22 at 2018 9:49 AM

2018-03-22T09:49:40-04:00

It will depend on whether the duty station has a need for both of your MOS's and a place for two bodies. You can ask, but it might not happen, the Army is not in the dating service.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 23 at 2018 9:26 AM

2018-03-23T09:26:19-04:00

Marriage is the way to gaurantee what you’re asking. But, DO NOT GET MARRIED UNTIL YOU ARE SURE YOU ARE READY!

I cannot count the number of times I’ve seen relationships fall apart because two people didn’t fully understand what they were getting into