Leadership vs. Likership

SFC Anabel Cepero — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 20:07:03 -0500

I have seen it time and time again, Leaders (NCOs/Officers) and Soldiers being too friendly/close. There is nothing wrong with creating an amicable work environment, but when do you think the line is being crossed and how do you as a Leader stop it?

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2014 8:25 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 20:25:52 -0500

Anytime a relationship between Leaders and the Subordinates is 'perceived' as being a friendship then it needs to stop. Leaders should always foster a professional environment and working relationships.

I always told my troops that professional and personal are two different and distinct relationships. You have to be able to distinguish between the two and if you can't then the only acceptable relationship is the professional one. I achieved this by always treating my subordinates the same. The same rules, standards and expectations were levied on all my subordinates. We did get together in an 'off duty' setting on numerous occasions and I strived to include all the subordinates in the activity. I maintained a very relaxed and open setting, but kept the overtone of professionalism. If a subordinate while on duty tried to 'invoke the off duty' friendship to get out of something, I swiftly and immediately corrected that individual reminding them that one had nothing to do with the other.

Response by CMC Robert Young made Feb 18 at 2014 8:31 PM

CMC Robert Young — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 20:31:54 -0500

I have relieved a section leader for creating the wrong atmosphere with his people. That unfortunately is often the only way to solve the problem because once followers loose respect for their leader through the leader's poor performance, it's not likely to be restored.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 18 at 2014 9:07 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 21:07:22 -0500

The second they don't stand at parade rest, don't move with a purpose when you give out orders, or(I've seen it) they call you by your first name or don't call you by your rank.<div>Its ok too mess up, but you gotta recognize when/how you messed up and fix it fast.</div>

Response by Maj Chris Nelson made Feb 18 at 2014 9:25 PM

Maj Chris Nelson — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 21:25:43 -0500

In the medical career field, specifically in clinics and hospitals, you often have enlisted troops working in a much closer relationship to an officer (med techs working with the Doctors, Physician Assistant, Nurse practitioner, or Nurse). This creates a potential for too much familiarity between the officer and enlisted team members. We are able to keep it professional in our office setting because the officers (a few of us are prior E also), ensure that it stays that way through the use of rank/name. I have seen units where this falls apart and I can say from experience, once this happens, moral disappears in most cases.

Response by CSM Michael Poll made Feb 18 at 2014 9:41 PM

CSM Michael Poll — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 21:41:35 -0500

Oh dont even get me started on this you will read a 100 page report by the time I am done.. Bottom line..  NCO's and Officers... Be NCO's and Officers!   You are not your Soldiers friends, you are thier supervisors.  Act like it!  There 100 pages in 3 lines.

Response by MAJ Samuel Weber made Feb 18 at 2014 9:55 PM

MAJ Samuel Weber — Tue, 18 Feb 2014 21:55:13 -0500

I have to agree with the posts thus far. It takes Leaders to take action to ensure this doesn't happen. When I was a PL my Platoon Sergeant was doing this, off duty he wanted his Soldiers to "hang" with him and call him by his first name. As the PL I had to step in and make some changes. Soldiers used rank and name and showed proper respect to myself and the NCOs. In the end the Soldiers appreciated it. What really confuses me is that leadership is like parenting. Your children come first but you are not equals. Would you let your kids call you by your first name?

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 19 at 2014 12:46 AM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 19 Feb 2014 00:46:02 -0500

Just to add to some of the other great comments. ---"Be inclusive, not exclusive!"

Throughout life as a leader there will be occasions to have subordinates involved in festivities or a sanctioned events, nonetheless, everyone is either invited or attending or NO ONE is invited or attending. This can be applied very easily, however its just a tip to keep people out of trouble and ward off perceptions!

I hate it when people make the statement, "I am not here to make friends" well ok you are not! I agree, but the counter argument is that you are not here to make enemies either! Meaning that you can be friendly without best friending everyone! Some of the toxicity that exists is based on coarse, unapproachable, unbalanced leaders who are afraid to get involved with knowing themselves, knowing their job, and most importantly knowing their people!

Leadership is not a popularity contest, you don't have to be liked nor should that be the focus! However, good leaders usually are admired and highly respected!

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 2 at 2017 8:50 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 02 Jul 2017 20:50:50 -0400

Networking and knowing your audience are also apart of leadership. Being flexible and not being rigid will always make you more marketable as a Soldier in my opinion.