Is my child support too low? Or just right?

2017-08-07T21:03:35-04:00

My wife and I of 11 years just separated and our divorce will be finalized in a few weeks. She was and still is a stay at home mother with no job experience and no schooling. We filed uncontested and agreed on $1000 a month for two children. Reading other stories and hearing people talk I'm beginning to think she low balled herself. She didn't touch retirement or ask for alimony either. Thoughts?

Response by PFC Jonathan Albano made Aug 8 at 2017 6:12 AM

2017-08-08T06:12:45-04:00

Every situation is different so it's hard to say, as an outsider, if it's low or just right. As a father myself, if I were to ever be put in the position you are in, my main concern would be that my children's needs are being met and, depending on how ones relationship with their ex stands, that she is adjusting to her new responsibilities. If the answer is no to either question, then I would decide what role I needed to play in order to help their situation if any at all. Hope this helps.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 8 at 2017 7:39 AM

2017-08-08T07:39:13-04:00

I would say play it by ear as it goes. I will assume she knows that you will still be doing things for your children and the extra money is to help with the bills. I know I have one child and receive a little more than 1/2 that amount but I'm the one that's military also.

Response by MSgt Steven Holt, NRP, CCEMT-P made Aug 8 at 2017 7:51 AM

2017-08-08T07:51:49-04:00

Count your blessings where you can. The fact you and your wife were able to sit down and work out an agreement is a major accomplishment in and of itself. My divorce was no where near as amicable and my son has suffered for it. My advice is to take the $1000 agreement and then slip your Ex- a few extra dollars now and then if you feel moved to do so.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 8 at 2017 8:05 AM

2017-08-08T08:05:58-04:00

It probably is low, but it may be that she doesn't want that much from you for a reason or other. If you feel it may be too low and should contribute more, I would say open a 529 for the kids' college fund. She may seek adjustments to those payments in the future as living conditions change. Your relationship with each other may not have worked, but keep the kids in mind.

Response by CW4 Angel C. made Aug 8 at 2017 9:23 AM

2017-08-08T09:23:16-04:00

Sorry to hear. I went through a legal (via court) a few years back. Things are different in every state but in general you can find a child support calculator for your state on the internet. I think you're lucky she hasn't taken you to court because you'd probably be paying her alimony (or part of your retirement) plus helping her with her bills/spendings: housing, transportation, insurance, etc.... on top of a court mandated child support. If she's able to work she'd be expected to have a minimum wage full time job, but we all know that's not enough income. To me $1k seems too low at least for the first couple years. Good luck!

Response by SGT Dave Tracy made Aug 8 at 2017 9:26 AM

2017-08-08T09:26:25-04:00

What's considered low in one area may be high in another. It all depends.

If your view is she (on behalf of your kids) should get more money from you, that is a situation you can resolve for yourself: Give her more over and above the $1,000 required (I also like the 529 idea SGT Chen put out there). If you decide to provide her more direct funding, I would strongly suggest it is a regular monthly amount paid by check that, once cashed, you keep the canceled check for documentation.

Response by Cpl Tou Lee Yang made Aug 8 at 2017 4:01 PM

2017-08-08T16:01:09-04:00

You're lucky, I paid nearly $1,500 a month for two child as a E5.

Response by SFC Kelly Fuerhoff made Aug 11 at 2017 2:22 PM

2017-08-11T14:22:59-04:00

It depends on your state and your income.

My ex is supposed to pay $86 a month for our daughter...I think for all four of his kids total he is supposed to pay $330 a month. So no I don't think she low balled herself at all.

The child support for our daughter got figured out because my lawyer figured out how much it would IF my ex had a minimum wage 40 hour job. I guess that equals $86 a month. The minimum is $50 a month. I was going to actually waive child support because he doesn't pay for any of his kids before her but I thought "Well someday he's gotta pay it and I can give it to her if she's an adult."

He's $4000+ in arrears...and he's in rehab (again). I think the longest he's held a job in his entire life is like five months. Consecutively. I was paying his child support when we were married because his first ex wife was using that against visitation (which is illegal and I told him to take her to court). I think I paid $350 a month once it got set up through the state. Before that he just gave her money directly which I told him was stupid. (Not going through the state = gift).

When he has a job the state takes out $25 a week which is $100 a month (since he's behind).

I mean if she's happy with that let it be. I wish I got $1000 a month. I get no child support and he's supposed to pay half of daycare and unreimbursed medical. Lucky for him my daughter has TRICARE and Medicaid. But daycare is $200 a week...

(Yes I know I made a poor choice in having a child with him. I was stupid. He is very good at manipulating people, I've known him since we were 18 and I didn't realize what a douche bag he is until it was too late).