Is it wrong to feel guilty during the holidays knowing our brothers & sisters are at sea, some in the fight and others fighting in hospital?

PVT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 19:09:39 -0500

The thought that some may never get to celebrate with their families is even unbearable. How do y'all cope with this despair?

Response by SFC Pete Kain made Dec 26 at 2015 7:13 PM

SFC Pete Kain — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 19:13:48 -0500

Yes it's wrong. We all do or did our jobs, absolutely no reason to be or feel guilty.
I know that will not really help, however that's how I deal with it.

Response by SFC Everett Oliver made Dec 26 at 2015 7:19 PM

SFC Everett Oliver — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 19:19:26 -0500

Such is as it has always been from time eternal. As far back as the cave clans when the hunters went out those left behind didn't know when or if they would return. Some handle it well, others can't deal with it at all. My wife told me that she always knew when I was not home that I would be back. No matter the circumstances or what she heard she just knew. On the other hand my Daughter was always scared she would never see me. The point is we all cope differently, I tried not to think of it. These days now that I am older and retired, I simply pray....

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 7:21 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 19:21:03 -0500

I don't feel guilty. We may be their replacement next holiday season. It is our job. However, I do remember them in my prayers and thoughts. That's what I'd expect in return when I'm in their shoes.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 7:21 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 19:21:08 -0500

Never wrong, always strong! You are thing like a leader. I worry always about my troops, all troops: past, present, in still, out. Your a good leader. If you can reach out to one of them. Taking a bud out tomorrow to get him and myself through the holidays.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 7:30 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 19:30:58 -0500

Wanted to go. Have gone. Will go. Everyone that's overseas feels the same. Most everybody who's home does as well. Every one has their part. That's the logic of it. Though that doesn't always change the way we feel.

Response by SCPO Charles Thomas "Tom" Canterbury made Dec 26 at 2015 7:36 PM

SCPO Charles Thomas "Tom" Canterbury — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 19:36:06 -0500

PVT Private RallyPoint Member - I think it is natural to feel empathy towards those who are doing what we ourselves have done (and done for many years. I don't think we should feel guilty though because we have served and now it is their turn. However, I will always do my best to reach out to those I know who are down range and we should. But don't feel guilt - be thankful - for your comrades and friends willing to serve and for the blessing of being home when in times past you were away.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 7:37 PM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 19:37:54 -0500

If you were in their position at this moment in time, would you want your brothers and sisters at home to feel guilty for enjoying themselves? I sure don't.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 7:39 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 19:39:08 -0500

Well I have been deployed during 3 Christmas before. I do not feel guilty I am home. But I was also at the hospital with my daughter December 24 and got out on the 25th around 1400. And I had just hopped that everyone overseas and at home are having a great Christmas. Even though I was not in my house I was with my family so that's what makes a great Christmas for me.

Response by PO1 William "Chip" Nagel made Dec 26 at 2015 7:47 PM

PO1 William "Chip" Nagel — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 19:47:47 -0500

Dude if they would let me, I'd be back in a Heartbeat. I'm still a Sneaky, Mean Tempered SOB that loves communications and exploiting it.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 8:28 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 20:28:02 -0500

Not at all! Everyone has their time to be in some position!

Response by PVT Robert Gresham made Dec 26 at 2015 9:52 PM

PVT Robert Gresham — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 21:52:36 -0500

The reason that we are ready to be (or have already) deployed, PVT Private RallyPoint Member, is so that the people who are at home can enjoy moments like this. We know when we raise our right hand that we may not be at home for holidays, or birthdays, or other important events, but our actions ensure that those at home can keep on celebrating, and living the life of freedom that we make possible. I don't believe for a second that our brothers and sisters, serving around the world, would ever want you to feel guilty.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 9:55 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 21:55:44 -0500

I've spent most of my kids lives away from them. Holidays, birthdays, first whatever's. Enjoy the fact you're home this year because next year you might not be and will regret spending all your time worrying about others. We all raised our right hand. We all know what the job entails.

Response by CSM Charles Hayden made Dec 26 at 2015 10:02 PM

CSM Charles Hayden — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 22:02:41 -0500

Been there, done that! Now it is someone else's turn!

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 10:19 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 22:19:09 -0500

I've missed enough holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries that I do not feel any guilt whatsoever. This is the first Christmas I've spent with my children in three years, and I am loving every minute of it.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2015 11:05 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 26 Dec 2015 23:05:08 -0500

There will be years your deployed and away from family and years when it someone els fretting over it will prevent you from being able to enjoy your time with your family. If you pray pray that their brothers and sisters who are with them will help cheer each other up and that they will be safe. This is the best way to remember them otherwise you miss an outstanding opportunity to relax enjoy family and get ready for work when you need to get to it again.

Response by SFC Jeffrey Couch made Dec 27 at 2015 4:52 AM

SFC Jeffrey Couch — Sun, 27 Dec 2015 04:52:11 -0500

To me isn't that what we signed up for no offense but I'm old school I knew this when I joined 25 years ago am I wrong for saying this best regards to my brothers

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 27 at 2015 8:38 AM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 27 Dec 2015 08:38:03 -0500

I always try to put it all in perspective and ask myself, "Do I have anything to feel guilty for?" In the context of your question, each of us has to answer to ourselves whether we are doing our utmost to contribute in the most meaningful way possible. That doesn't always mean being deployed. If you find yourself feeling guilty because you aren't contributing fully or in a way that you find fulfilling, use that guilty as a catalyst for change.

Response by CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 27 at 2015 11:10 AM

CMSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 27 Dec 2015 11:10:16 -0500

Not sure what there is to feel guilty about? Being in harm's way or simply away from family and friends at difficult times is part of what we accept as part of our call to duty, and if folks stay in long enough they will get ample opportunity.

I was deployed for the holidays again last year and while there is no way to make a deployed environment like your home, but with the advances in technology service members can celebrate and connect to loved ones in ways that make it as close as possible.

Response by SGT Patrick Reno made Dec 27 at 2015 2:50 PM

SGT Patrick Reno — Sun, 27 Dec 2015 14:50:33 -0500

No, feeling guilty just means we care.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 27 at 2015 4:15 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Sun, 27 Dec 2015 16:15:59 -0500

No because I was them once.

Response by SGT Jimmy Carpenter made Dec 27 at 2015 8:54 PM

SGT Jimmy Carpenter — Sun, 27 Dec 2015 20:54:59 -0500

It took me 10 years to realize that being sad and mourning the loss of my PL in Iraq isn't what he would have wanted us to do. He would have wanted us to celebrate and enjoy ourselves and I think that most servicemen/women would want the same thing.

When I was in Iraq, I didn't want or expect my family and friends to cancel holiday plans or feel sad or guilty because I wasn't there. I was off ensuring that they were able to celebrate the holidays and I was and still am damn proud of what I did.

Response by SGT Robert Zuniga made Dec 27 at 2015 9:03 PM

SGT Robert Zuniga — Sun, 27 Dec 2015 21:03:21 -0500

I am grateful to be where I am at. I was there. We sacrifice birthdays and holidays for years at a time. The world has to move on. All I can do is pray for them daily and be glad that warriors are still out there volunteering. Heroes!!

Response by SCPO Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 27 at 2015 10:41 PM

SCPO Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 27 Dec 2015 22:41:23 -0500

PVT Private RallyPoint Member: Compassion is one of the greatest traits a human being can possess. Being able to physically act upon that compassion is pure, unadulterated love in action. I've volunteered at VA hospitals and the Missouri and Iowa state Homes for Veterans. I had the time and the ability. That said, Jonathan, I have always had a deeply sentimental side and it took me years to realize there is only so much I can do, only so many people I can personally help, only so many charities that I can financially support. If you truly want to act upon a sense of duty to or comradeship with members of the military, there should be any number of nearby facilities where you can put your compassion to work. Do what you can, where you can, and trust in your fellow man that others are doing the same where they live. IMHO, sir, that is all any of us can do. Good luck to you.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 28 at 2015 10:04 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 28 Dec 2015 10:04:05 -0500

no its an absolute natural reaction that you cant control.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 28 at 2015 11:23 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 28 Dec 2015 11:23:22 -0500

I don't feel guilty. I have missed the holidays many times. We have a job to do, you just suck it up and keep moving forward. I will always place the mission first.

Response by CW3 Jim Norris made Dec 28 at 2015 4:15 PM

CW3 Jim Norris — Mon, 28 Dec 2015 16:15:56 -0500

Nope, remember them in your prayers, your time will come where they will be eating hot chow and thinking of you 'out there'.......go visit the hospital in your area if you can.....it means a lot. I got a kiss on the cheek from a pretty girl I didn't know back in 1970 AT Fitzsmmons and it was a wonderful morale boost - judging from your face, I'd recommend you shake their hand :-)

Response by LTC Bink Romanick made Dec 28 at 2015 5:53 PM

LTC Bink Romanick — Mon, 28 Dec 2015 17:53:03 -0500

PVT Private RallyPoint Member Now that I am retired I always mention those troops deployed when I say grace at the family meals.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 28 at 2015 6:39 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 28 Dec 2015 18:39:04 -0500

If I had never been deployed or in the field during the holidays I guess I could feel guilty but no everyone has their turn. Send them a care package or something.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 29 at 2015 9:50 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 29 Dec 2015 09:50:47 -0500

It's never wrong to feel how you feel. How you cope with it, only you can answer. Everyone knows what they signed up for, so I personally don't feel guilty. I've spent numerous holidays under fire and waiting out indirect attacks, it never ran across my mind "others should feel guilty for me".

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jan 15 at 2016 8:21 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 15 Jan 2016 20:21:29 -0500

I don't feel guilty. I've missed a lot of holidays and celebrations because of multiple tours and other military obligations. But they will always remain in my thoughts as my brothers and sisters in arms.

Response by SFC Marcus Belt made Dec 20 at 2016 3:40 PM

SFC Marcus Belt — Tue, 20 Dec 2016 15:40:07 -0500

When Rome's Legions would engage an enemy in close combat, their primary maneuver element was the Century, which was nominally 100 men, but was probably never at full strength while on campaign.

The century would, after throwing their javelins, close to melee range and the first rank would engage the enemy...for about 90 seconds to two minutes. Then the Centurion blow a whistle or a horn or just shout really loudly and the first rank would fall back to the rear of the 8 or 10 rank-deep formation, and what had been the second rank would engage.

Enjoy your time at home without guilt or misgiving, because you'll get your turn at the front rank.

Response by Sgt Dale Briggs made Dec 25 at 2016 3:50 PM

Sgt Dale Briggs — Sun, 25 Dec 2016 15:50:58 -0500

I've never been there done that.

My son has and Veterans Day is really rough. Everyone's different, but I don't think you should hate the holidays because there's things beyond anyone's control. It's lousy, say a prayer for them and one for you and push on.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 26 at 2016 5:23 AM

CSM Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 26 Dec 2016 05:23:01 -0500

Don't feel like that. You will be in that situation someday and be grateful that others can be with their families. This is my 6th Christmas deployed. It comes with the Job. Don't sweat it. It will be your turn again someday. Enjoy the season with your friends and families. I know I will when I get the chance. I cant wait to get back and I look forward to my block leave. Just drink a frosty beverage for all those down range. Take care and Merry Christmas Brother.