Is it acceptable to ask a SGM or 1sgt to be your mentor?

2019-08-06T15:44:00-04:00

I have been at my first duty station for approximately 18 months. I would like a mentor, however the only people at my unit that i would want to be that are 1sgts or SGM. I have a lot of things that I want out of my military career and I am willing to work towards them with full dedication. I feel at this point I need help with a little direction and experience. Would it be inappropriate to approach a 1sgt or SGM about this? Or would that be considered jumping the chain of command?

Response by SFC John Santoro made Aug 6 at 2019 4:04 PM

2019-08-06T16:04:03-04:00

PFC Tademy, your 1SG and SGM are already considered mentors as they mentor all ranks to include officers. They are extremely busy at times but are normally happy to help a young Private and provide personal guidance and mentorship and suggest possible ways to become a successful Soldier and future NCO. All NCOs and Officers are inherent mentors to the Soldiers which they lead, but to get the best benefit from a mentor I would suggest keeping the level down to someone you may see everyday as they will have the best knowledge of your performance and possible places you can improve. Your Team Leader will already be mentoring you through monthly counselings and daily guidance and leadership. Your Squad Leader should also be providing you with daily guidance and suggestions for improvement and encouraging the behaviors which are in keeping with the Army Values. Your Platoon Sergeant may not see you on a daily basis based on your MOS I would guess he may see you sporadically sometimes, but would interact with you and know the kind of Soldier you are. Those closest to you are your best bet and can provide the best bang for the buck so to speak. If the 1SG or SGM do talk to you and give you some guidance definitely follow it, they did not get to that position by chance they listened to their leaders and they know where you are in your career at this point and want to see you succeed.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 6 at 2019 4:07 PM

2019-08-06T16:07:34-04:00

A mentor is an interpersonal relationship. While it's not inappropriate to ask a SGM to be a mentor, it will be more beneficial for you to have someone closer to your grade. Most of the relevant advice that you need will come from someone who recently passed through your same footsteps. Right now I think it would benefit you more to have a mentor who can give you exact instructions on how to accel in your current position and set yourself up for your first promotion to an NCO. A SGM may be able to give you general advice, but semi-centralized promotions have changed so much over the last decade that they won't be all that familiar with the ins and outs of the process.
So, yes it's definitely OK to ask them to be a mentor, but also, you'll still need a mentor closer to your own career progression.

Response by WO1 Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 6 at 2019 6:29 PM

2019-08-06T18:29:33-04:00

One thing to add onto, talk to your first line about it too. Mention why you would want the 1SG/SGM to be a mentor, what you see in them etc.

Some people would/could take offense to you going way above them for guidance (shouldn't, but people are people,) and that can then cause problems as to how they see and treat you.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 6 at 2019 7:16 PM

2019-08-06T19:16:53-04:00

As others have said, mentors are more effective when closer to your current rank. It's still acceptable to use open door policy to get advice from those senior leaders.

If I was your 1SG, and you came for advice I would help as I could, but I would also ask if you have talked to your FLL and/or PSG. If this became a pattern, I would be having a separate conversation with your PSG about what needs to be done to give you better guidance and support at the platoon level. There is an indication of a disconnect when you say the only people you want to have as mentors are the 1SG of. CSM.

Response by CSM David Hopkins made Aug 6 at 2019 8:51 PM

2019-08-06T20:51:26-04:00

If you want your 1SG or SGM to be your mentor then go ask them. A mentor is chosen by an individual and typically someone you look up to and truly respect. If those leaders between this Soldier and the 1SG or SGM are not what he wants to be like, then he should go to someone that is. If lower level leaders get offended because someone “jumps the chain” to get a good mentor, maybe they need to take a hard look at what types of values and characteristics they are putting out there for others to see. Believe me when I say that this 1SG and SGM will know how to properly navigate this relationship.
On the flip side, I do agree that if you have a leader more junior that you look up to, it would probably be more beneficial to you because he/she has been where you are more recently, but it doesn’t mean that the more senior NCO’s can’t still be great mentors for you.

Response by CSM Richard StCyr made Aug 7 at 2019 2:58 PM

2019-08-07T14:58:16-04:00

I never recall anyone asking me to be their mentor the relationship just developed over the years.
It would not be inappropriate to ask but you should look at someone closer to your rank structure like a good SGT or SSG because they will be able to relate better with you and guide you in areas that you need now.
For example as Squad leader, I had several troops who sought my advice regularly we maintained contact from then until this day and as we all progressed through the ranks I was able to pass on tips and techniques that were relevant to what they were involved in from having recently served in the positions they were moving into.
We are still close and the assistance provided is now in dealing with transition from the service, navigating the VA, and developing contacts and networks for them in the construction industry.

Response by SSG Keith Evans made Aug 7 at 2019 6:41 PM

2019-08-07T18:41:20-04:00

Someone please correct me if I'm out of line on this.... but IMO by virtue of their position they ARE a mentor to every Soldier in their command. The mentorship is just less direct then maybe you may like it to be. In my experience any SGM/CSM or 1SG always took the time to answer any question I had and gave excellent, but more general advice. The most relevant and specific advice I recieved as a junior Soldier was from the SSGs around my unit. I know you said you don't really want to look to those folks in your unit, but I'll urge you to look at those folks again... or maybe seek our someone in your Battalion.

Response by CPL Gary Pifer made Aug 7 at 2019 7:21 PM

2019-08-07T19:21:03-04:00

In the real world...They usually like putting young good looking girls under their wings...for mentoring... My advice stick with your peers and don't strive to get excepted into the "In Crowd".. that takes time... as you climb up the ranks. No brown nosing.