Is being forced to miss the birth of your child and the only opportunity to take parental leave, in order to go to JRTC, lawful?

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 26 Feb 2019 19:39:21 -0500

I’ll try to explain this situation without violating any OPSEC.

So basically I am being told that I have to go to JRTC 10 days before my first child is due. BN Commander is giving NO consideration for anyone to miss JRTC, even the fact that my wife is a high risk pregnancy and has health issues of her own, and we have no one to take care of her while I’m gone. So the “generous” plan he has devised is that I’ll “go back for the birth” which means I’ll take a 12+ hour bus ride AFTER the report of my wife going into labor trickles down the pipeline (effectively, NO chance of being there on time). I will then have to go back to JRTC 2 days after the child is born.

Then add to it the fact that I am PCS’ing to a yearlong course with a report date 40 days after we get back from JRTC. So at a minimum, 40 days – 10 days PTDY (house hunting) – 7 travel days(if I didn’t want to take extra leave) - 10 days clearing = 13 days left to take care of everything needed for a cross-country PCS. Since my class is a year long, and parental leave must be taken within 1 year of the birth or it is lost and it can’t be taken in conjunction with or as PCS leave, if I do not take the leave before I PCS then it will be lost. I feel like this could be considered as the BN Commander denying me the opportunity to take parental leave, which is an entitlement, not a privilege. At the very least, it could be seen as causing undue hardship with the short PCS.

My counter to this has been that if I were about to stay behind the whole time or come home when the baby is born, I could take my parental leave while the unit is gone, then when they return I would be on hand to help with all barge ops/reset/inventory/etc and have time to do a proper hand over of my work in the unit before I start clearing. Company Commander and 1SG were on board with this plan, until the BN Commander's plan came out.

What does everyone think? I have talked it out extensively with my Company Command team. Assuming they've been passing all the details of situation up the BN CDR, and he has chosen to ignore it, should I attempt BN CSM/CDR open door policy? BDE open door? IG? Thanks for any advice.

Admin note: Nobody ever wants to go to JRTC, but if it were under other circumstances I would be fine with going. I understand having to make sacrifices, but this is a training rotation, not a deployment. It is not a sacrifice that HAS to be made, or that will have any better of an outcome by me being there rather than not. This command has been very open about the fact that it’s a number’s game. They don’t care what adverse situations they are putting Soldiers into as long as they get their numbers.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2019 8:14 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 26 Feb 2019 20:14:49 -0500

SSG Hackney - I feel for you! I understand both sides of the argument, as I’ve been the one to tell Soldiers they will go to the field. I understand “mission first” - but there are always exceptions. Some empathy and compassion from your chain of command wouldn’t hurt though. Can you get a letter from your wife’s Dr stating this is a high risk pregnancy and they recommend you be there? Couldn’t hurt.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 26 at 2019 8:54 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 26 Feb 2019 20:54:22 -0500

Leave is completely up to the commander. You have 45 days from the birth of your child to take 10 days off. I understand your frustration but not much you can do about it but put it on the command climate survey.

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made Feb 26 at 2019 9:31 PM

SGM Bill Frazer — Tue, 26 Feb 2019 21:31:05 -0500

So at least he is thinking- due to Mission, he doesn't have to give you squat! How many troops have deployed and come home to see the 3-6 month child for the 1st time? I understand the frustration and worry, but you know the old adage "If the Service wanted you to have a wife, they would have issued you one!" Life ain't fair and at ain't a rose garden, sometimes you just go for broke, if you can't reconcile this, then the door is always available.

Response by LTC Jason Bartlett made Feb 26 at 2019 10:42 PM

LTC Jason Bartlett — Tue, 26 Feb 2019 22:42:54 -0500

Poor leadership all around. Use the open door policy and ensure you bring supporting documentation. I would expect more from RAKKASAN leadership.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 27 at 2019 5:59 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 27 Feb 2019 05:59:23 -0500

You could request to speak to your Chaplain explain the situation to them and they may decide to take it up the pipe line. You don’t neccisarilly have to be religious to speak to a chaplain a pfc is probably the last person you’re looking for advice from.. if all else fails your wife could contact brigade or battalion and explain the situation they tend to listen to spouses/dependents more than SM’s Had a similar situation to this when I was going through ait which was a year long. Good luck with your newborn we’re expecting soon as well!

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 27 at 2019 8:58 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 27 Feb 2019 08:58:07 -0500

Hard to give a perfect answer. (Never really is one anyway)

Ask to speak to the BN leadership directly. You’re getting info second hand through the Company. It appears you’re in a low-density MOS, which makes your more critical than many. That said, if you are on short final to PCS, the need for you to train your replacement (of going) may be a consideration.

When you see the BN CDR/CSM, lay out the details. Unemotionally. High-risk pregnancy, PCS timeline, etc. Listen to their position and appreciate what their concerns are. Bring supporting documentation you have as well. The outcome is ultimately theirs to decide, but approach it as a professional and I believe they will as well.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 27 at 2019 12:42 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 27 Feb 2019 12:42:27 -0500

Yes, it is lawful.

Suggest you go back and read the parental leave policy with this in mind:
will = must; may = commander's discretion; so, if it says "may," it is not an entitlement.

I would suggest you use the open door policy to the level making the decision, which should have been your first COA before a social media post making a disparaging accusation against your COC.

As a former Assistant IG, I don't see anything in your post that violates policy or regulation. However, it would be up to your COC to determine whether your claim that the COC doesn't care what adverse situations Soldiers are being put into as long as the COC get's their numbers for a very expensive training event intended on improving unit readiness by undergoing the most realistic and relevant training today's Army offers, violates and policy.

I'm all for taking care of Soldiers. The mission comes first, and any rotation to a national training center is directly related to the mission. It may be inconvenient to you, but there is nothing unlawful, nor does it violate the regulation or policy.

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Feb 27 at 2019 3:19 PM

SFC Casey O'Mally — Wed, 27 Feb 2019 15:19:35 -0500

Lawful? Yes. Unfortunate? Yes. Poor leadership? (Probably) also yes.

But still lawful.

Response by PFC Garry Tarvin made Feb 27 at 2019 9:07 PM

PFC Garry Tarvin — Wed, 27 Feb 2019 21:07:03 -0500

They own you. Sorry you have to miss it, get someone to video it. Good luck