In a relationship and have never had any strife; should I give that any thought?

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 21:30:06 -0500

I know this is an odd place to discuss this type of thing, but I was hoping to get advice from those here who have been "around the block" and obviously have experience in this from a veterans perspective. I've been with my significant other for well over a year and things are fantastic. As stupid as this sounds, that freaks me out.

We've never fought. We've never even had an argument. She's very understanding and supportive of me, especially when it comes to the few veteran related issues and quirks I have. Our personalities mesh so well and we get along so perfectly that we've been able to make it this far without any kind of strife whatsoever. I know from prior relationships that seeing how the two of us overcome that first argument is an important step in determining the long term viability of the relationship. I also know that the day will inevitably come when that first fight happens, the only question is how far in the future that day is.

My question is this. Is it a problem that we show no signs of discovering more about this aspect of ourselves? I love her and am about as confident as I can be that I want to spend my life with her, but I worry about thinking too long term when basic relationship milestones have yet to be reached.

Response by LTC Yinon Weiss made Feb 3 at 2015 9:33 PM

LTC Yinon Weiss — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 21:33:05 -0500

Have you spent significant time together where you had non-stop contact? For example, a 2-3 week vacation away from everything, where it's just the two of you? Preferably add some long road trips in there. You will probably learn a lot more about each other through the process, and hopefully for the best!

Response by SPC Mary Stewart made Feb 3 at 2015 9:37 PM

SPC Mary Stewart — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 21:37:58 -0500

Sounds like you are overthinking things. Also sounds like you both want this relationship to succeed. That being said, if you both give 100% in the relationship you most likely won't have issues. I have been in one relationship where we never fought. It was amazing. Things just happened and we went our separate ways.
Take things one day at a time. If you have been together that long and she is understanding of your job she sounds like a keeper! Stop waiting for a fight, it might not happen

Response by PO2 Jonathan Scharff made Feb 3 at 2015 9:48 PM

PO2 Jonathan Scharff — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 21:48:26 -0500

SGT Private RallyPoint Member I'm not sure what your actual question really is. My wife and I have been married almost 30 years and we don't fight much at all. That is, compared to what I see in most other relationships. So, I'm not sure what you want us to say? Leave her and find someone that you fight with all the time? lol I think what you are describing sounds at lot like your soulmate...

The best old guy relationship advise that I can give you is to respect her. In my humble opinion, most problems don't exist in the first place if you respect the other person. If you respect your partner you don't cheat on them. If you respect your partner you don't lie, you don't abuse, you don't do anything that would cause problems. My wife and I don't agree on every topic and we do have discussions, but we respect each others opinions so I don't think it ever really develops into an argument. You don't have to be perfect to find the perfect person for you. When you do hold on tight as hard as you can.

I hope you heed my advise, then one day many many years from now you will be an old guy like me giving relationship advice to young men just starting out! My wish for you is that you find someone as wonderful as I have to share your life with. Good luck and thank you for your service.

Response by LTC David S. Chang, ChFC®, CLU® made Feb 3 at 2015 9:54 PM

LTC David S. Chang, ChFC®, CLU® — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 21:54:03 -0500

You are lucky! I would suggest going through some counseling, not because things are bad, but go through exercises on expectations, upbringing, beliefs, etc.

it will be helpful in finding problems before they even come up!

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Feb 3 at 2015 11:06 PM

SFC Mark Merino — Tue, 03 Feb 2015 23:06:03 -0500

Ever consider immediate marriage?...lol

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Feb 19 at 2015 1:38 AM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 19 Feb 2015 01:38:08 -0500

SGT Private RallyPoint Member I don't know why, but I have this urge to post this.