If you discovered, at some point, that your loyalty was misplaced how did or how would you handle the situation?

PO3 Phyllis Maynard — Tue, 28 Dec 2021 23:40:05 -0500

Response by CPL Douglas Chrysler made Dec 28 at 2021 11:45 PM

CPL Douglas Chrysler — Tue, 28 Dec 2021 23:45:45 -0500

I would want to know why. And most likely I wouldn't be supportive for that person. I think it's a natural reaction that once betrayed, something is lost forever in any relationship.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 28 at 2021 11:45 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 28 Dec 2021 23:45:59 -0500

I think the answer would be subjective. What are the ramifications of that loyalty? What are the ramifications of breaking that loyalty? What was there loyalty to begin with? This is a very broad question and an answer would depend on context.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 28 at 2021 11:55 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Tue, 28 Dec 2021 23:55:41 -0500

I don’t understand the question.

Response by Cpl Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 29 at 2021 12:35 AM

Cpl Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 29 Dec 2021 00:35:34 -0500

Burned bridges! I have no use for people with no integrity or honor.

Response by SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth made Dec 29 at 2021 6:44 AM

SGT David A. 'Cowboy' Groth — Wed, 29 Dec 2021 06:44:48 -0500

Treat them like a leper sister PO3 Phyllis Maynard

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Dec 29 at 2021 8:00 AM

SFC Casey O'Mally — Wed, 29 Dec 2021 08:00:02 -0500

For me it is not a question of misplaced loyalty. It is a question of future loyalty.

Despite my intentionally pessimistic look at life, in general, as a way of maintaining happiness, I approach INDIVIDUALS with a trust in their humanity and goodness. PERSONS are good, PEOPLE are horrible.

So each person has my respect, trust, and loyalty right up until they prove they are no longer worthy of it. And after that point, it is simply a matter of noting that they are no longer worthy of my respect, trust, and/or loyalty. And then I move on with life.

Holding grudges, being bitter, or dwelling on the situation is never helpful and only serves to hold you back. Forgive, but never forget.

And despite any of this, you still move on treating them with the respect due to a fellow human. Cordial, but not close. Because, again, bitterness or hostility hurts you just as much as it hurts them.

Response by Cpl Vic Burk made Dec 29 at 2021 8:02 AM

Cpl Vic Burk — Wed, 29 Dec 2021 08:02:32 -0500

PO3 Phyllis Maynard It would depend on the situation. Cheating on a spouse is a game killer in my book. Everything else, open communication to get everything out in the open and see if there is any hope of reconciliation. If so, fix it, if not, move on with your life.

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Dec 31 at 2021 1:35 PM

LTC Stephen F. — Fri, 31 Dec 2021 13:35:34 -0500

In my case, I confronted the individual to determine if they understood the impact of what they said. In the cases i am referring to they were senior officers. In the first case, I was punished and in the second case I was ridiculed but we eventually reconciled my friend and sister-in-Christ PO3 Phyllis Maynard
It is best to confront the individual respectfully to clarify. If that does not yield satisfactory results, the Biblical admonition is to bring one or more trustworthy witnesses before we break fellowship with anybody.