If you could create a job in the military, what would you come up with, and why?

SFC Vernon McNabb — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:38:09 -0500

Funny answers are welcome here. Be prepared to answer questions as to why you think the military needs your new job.

Response by SFC Vernon McNabb made Mar 3 at 2016 4:39 PM

SFC Vernon McNabb — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:39:25 -0500

I'll start this off with my suggestion.
UAV Door Gunner.

Response by CPT Pedro Meza made Mar 3 at 2016 4:43 PM

CPT Pedro Meza — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:43:58 -0500

Elbow grease finance officer.

Response by Sgt David G Duchesneau made Mar 3 at 2016 4:48 PM

Sgt David G Duchesneau — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:48:38 -0500

Cleaning out the Shit House! If anyone was in Vietnam, you know exactly what I mean. Talk about a real shitty job! I was fortunate enough to be always in the field . Well, maybe I was?

Response by SGT Kristin Wiley made Mar 3 at 2016 4:53 PM

SGT Kristin Wiley — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:53:09 -0500

Personalized masseurs for every platoon!!!

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 4:54 PM

MAJ Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:54:30 -0500

Uniform Adjustment Decider. Special Operations units have distinguishing headgear. When the 75th Inf Ranger unit lost the black beret, suggestion was were pile caps cold or hot weather. UAD determines ear flaps up or ear flaps down. Classification: NONSENSE.
Messkit repairmen,assigned to 244th (MR) QM Co. Cover name for (?) classified unit.

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 4:59 PM

A1C Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 16:59:37 -0500

Common Sense Officer...to fix all the dumb shit.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Mar 3 at 2016 5:02 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:02:42 -0500

A Synergy Cell with the primary focus on: The human condition and wants, host military and governments, enemy, conventional and special forces, enemy capabilities and tactics, US military and non military assistance. Historic examples. In order to write a campaign plan.

I did not know this was going to be a light hearted conversation. Artistic Officer, Technical Merits Officer, and Difficulty Officer for bikini cladded individuals doing the slip and slide at Annual Training.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 5:10 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:10:09 -0500

PRC-E8 fluid operator/maintainer

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 5:16 PM

MSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:16:22 -0500

Fourth Point Extraction Specialist. To help pull the heads out of peoples *sses.

Response by SPC(P) Jay Heenan made Mar 3 at 2016 5:19 PM

SPC(P) Jay Heenan — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:19:40 -0500

I propose the 1AK (Anti-F#ckery) series. There is a lot of f#ckery that goes on in the military and someone needs to be in charge of squashing it!

Response by PO3 Steven Sherrill made Mar 3 at 2016 5:23 PM

PO3 Steven Sherrill — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:23:48 -0500

SFC Vernon McNabb I am going to submit the corollary position to A1C Private RallyPoint Member Common Sense Officer. That would be Bartender of the watch. After dealing with the dumb shit all day the Common Sense Officer would report to the Bartender of the Watch for two shots of whiskey, and a venting/debriefing to insure that the Common Sense Officer is able to stay on an even keel.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 5:37 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:37:54 -0500

Hurt feelings report specialist and coordinator - distributes and coordinates with units about the distribution of the hurt feelings report, how to fill it out, and where to place paperwork. Then proceeds to coordinate with chaplains on who's feelings hurt worse to determine who deserves to be in front of the line.
Probably the best "new MOS" ever....not

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 5:40 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:40:05 -0500

Oh, and the "over head panel cleansing specialist". A specialized unit of dirt bag specialists who are trained in the art of cleaning: ceiling tiles, air vents, fans, and anything else of importance concerning the ceiling.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 5:41 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:41:19 -0500

I think a planning/ops identifier needs to be created. This should have formal military instruction involved with battle staff as a potential additional requirement for higher levels. The -3 shop is important for the military and unit in-house training may not be sufficient, especially for the part-time Army.

Response by Capt Mark Strobl made Mar 3 at 2016 5:55 PM

Capt Mark Strobl — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:55:57 -0500

SFC Vernon McNabb - I propose creation of Supplemental Human Integration Technician. They would two responsibilities: 1.) Oversee coordination & development of joint-operation acronyms; 2.) Walk around correcting service members. So they don't have to report to anyone, it'd have to be a Chief Warrant Officer billet.

Response by PO3 Steven Sherrill made Mar 3 at 2016 5:58 PM

PO3 Steven Sherrill — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 17:58:17 -0500

E-4 Mafia Liaison Officer.

Response by SGT Roberto Mendoza-Diaz made Mar 3 at 2016 6:34 PM

SGT Roberto Mendoza-Diaz — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 18:34:46 -0500

Chem-Light Technician

Response by TSgt Melissa Post made Mar 3 at 2016 7:23 PM

TSgt Melissa Post — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 19:23:46 -0500

The bull-s#!t shoveler. The person. Who wades through the crap given and tells the real reasons, and cuts to the chase. Only given to those who can hack the job.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 9:39 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 21:39:09 -0500

*WARNING* SATIRE AND INFANTRY HUMOR *WARNING*
In Iraq, we often joked that it would be awesome if the Corps would allow men and women to enlist as, basically, shores. You would be promoted through special boards (giggity) and we came up with all sorts of rules. One rule was that the higher your rank, the more often you were allowed to utilize this new MOS in the comfort of your own tent.
Obviously a huge joke, but it went on for the entire deployment and I bet we had a 100 page regulation book ready to go, complete with PME and regulations.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Mar 3 at 2016 11:24 PM

SN Greg Wright — Thu, 03 Mar 2016 23:24:39 -0500

Enlisted Advisor to the President, who's sole purpose would be to tell him when he's being a dumbass, as it relates to the military. The job would come with immunity from presidential ire.

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 4 at 2016 2:08 AM

SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 04 Mar 2016 02:08:49 -0500

An actual full time fitness instructor that is assigned at the Company level, whose sole job is to maintain unit and personal physical readiness. It's a joke that they have an MOS for a guy that can play the clarinet but don't have one to make sure that people are maximizing their physical potential.

Response by SrA Matthew Knight made Mar 4 at 2016 2:12 AM

SrA Matthew Knight — Fri, 04 Mar 2016 02:12:46 -0500

Air Force Storm Chasing Service

The Air Force already has Hurricane Hunters for research purposes. I would personally volunteer as tribute for a ground based tornado chasing service as well for "research". Could mount weather equipment on an MRAP and be good to go. Hell, I'll even drive the thing into severe weather, I'm not scared. Could give the weather community great info and data for research and it would be fun as hell.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2016 6:19 PM

CPT Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 12 Mar 2016 18:19:37 -0500

Police call and range-cleanup specialist.
Trained and proficient in picking up spent brass, sorting live and spent ammo, recycling trash and removing waste.
Police call and range clean-up specialists can make your army a more beautiful place!

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Jan 28 at 2023 8:48 AM

SFC Casey O'Mally — Sat, 28 Jan 2023 08:48:30 -0500

Commanding General Lower Enlisted Liaison.
A 2-star gets a SPC, 3-star and 4-stars get a SGT.

This person is a supplement to the CSM as an advisor on enlisted matters. But they give the ground truth of how the Joes will REALLY react to any policy decision.

To maintain proficiency, Soldiers selected for this position will serve a maximum of one year in the position, and must serve in a tactical (i.e. line) unit position for a minimum of one year between stints.