If you could create a job in the military, what would you come up with, and why?

2016-03-03T16:38:09-05:00

Funny answers are welcome here. Be prepared to answer questions as to why you think the military needs your new job.

Response by SFC Vernon McNabb made Mar 3 at 2016 4:39 PM

2016-03-03T16:39:25-05:00

I'll start this off with my suggestion.
UAV Door Gunner.

Response by CPT Pedro Meza made Mar 3 at 2016 4:43 PM

2016-03-03T16:43:58-05:00

Elbow grease finance officer.

Response by Sgt David G Duchesneau made Mar 3 at 2016 4:48 PM

2016-03-03T16:48:38-05:00

Cleaning out the Shit House! If anyone was in Vietnam, you know exactly what I mean. Talk about a real shitty job! I was fortunate enough to be always in the field . Well, maybe I was?

Response by SGT Kristin Wiley made Mar 3 at 2016 4:53 PM

2016-03-03T16:53:09-05:00

Personalized masseurs for every platoon!!!

Response by MAJ Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 4:54 PM

2016-03-03T16:54:30-05:00

Uniform Adjustment Decider. Special Operations units have distinguishing headgear. When the 75th Inf Ranger unit lost the black beret, suggestion was were pile caps cold or hot weather. UAD determines ear flaps up or ear flaps down. Classification: NONSENSE.
Messkit repairmen,assigned to 244th (MR) QM Co. Cover name for (?) classified unit.

Response by A1C Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 4:59 PM

2016-03-03T16:59:37-05:00

Common Sense Officer...to fix all the dumb shit.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Mar 3 at 2016 5:02 PM

2016-03-03T17:02:42-05:00

A Synergy Cell with the primary focus on: The human condition and wants, host military and governments, enemy, conventional and special forces, enemy capabilities and tactics, US military and non military assistance. Historic examples. In order to write a campaign plan.

I did not know this was going to be a light hearted conversation. Artistic Officer, Technical Merits Officer, and Difficulty Officer for bikini cladded individuals doing the slip and slide at Annual Training.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 5:10 PM

2016-03-03T17:10:09-05:00

PRC-E8 fluid operator/maintainer

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 5:16 PM

2016-03-03T17:16:22-05:00

Fourth Point Extraction Specialist. To help pull the heads out of peoples *sses.

Response by SPC(P) Jay Heenan made Mar 3 at 2016 5:19 PM

2016-03-03T17:19:40-05:00

I propose the 1AK (Anti-F#ckery) series. There is a lot of f#ckery that goes on in the military and someone needs to be in charge of squashing it!

Response by PO3 Steven Sherrill made Mar 3 at 2016 5:23 PM

2016-03-03T17:23:48-05:00

SFC Vernon McNabb I am going to submit the corollary position to A1C Private RallyPoint Member Common Sense Officer. That would be Bartender of the watch. After dealing with the dumb shit all day the Common Sense Officer would report to the Bartender of the Watch for two shots of whiskey, and a venting/debriefing to insure that the Common Sense Officer is able to stay on an even keel.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 5:37 PM

2016-03-03T17:37:54-05:00

Hurt feelings report specialist and coordinator - distributes and coordinates with units about the distribution of the hurt feelings report, how to fill it out, and where to place paperwork. Then proceeds to coordinate with chaplains on who's feelings hurt worse to determine who deserves to be in front of the line.
Probably the best "new MOS" ever....not

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 5:40 PM

2016-03-03T17:40:05-05:00

Oh, and the "over head panel cleansing specialist". A specialized unit of dirt bag specialists who are trained in the art of cleaning: ceiling tiles, air vents, fans, and anything else of importance concerning the ceiling.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 5:41 PM

2016-03-03T17:41:19-05:00

I think a planning/ops identifier needs to be created. This should have formal military instruction involved with battle staff as a potential additional requirement for higher levels. The -3 shop is important for the military and unit in-house training may not be sufficient, especially for the part-time Army.

Response by Capt Mark Strobl made Mar 3 at 2016 5:55 PM

2016-03-03T17:55:57-05:00

SFC Vernon McNabb - I propose creation of Supplemental Human Integration Technician. They would two responsibilities: 1.) Oversee coordination & development of joint-operation acronyms; 2.) Walk around correcting service members. So they don't have to report to anyone, it'd have to be a Chief Warrant Officer billet.

Response by PO3 Steven Sherrill made Mar 3 at 2016 5:58 PM

2016-03-03T17:58:17-05:00

E-4 Mafia Liaison Officer.

Response by SGT Roberto Mendoza-Diaz made Mar 3 at 2016 6:34 PM

2016-03-03T18:34:46-05:00

Chem-Light Technician

Response by TSgt Melissa Post made Mar 3 at 2016 7:23 PM

2016-03-03T19:23:46-05:00

The bull-s#!t shoveler. The person. Who wades through the crap given and tells the real reasons, and cuts to the chase. Only given to those who can hack the job.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 3 at 2016 9:39 PM

2016-03-03T21:39:09-05:00

*WARNING* SATIRE AND INFANTRY HUMOR *WARNING*
In Iraq, we often joked that it would be awesome if the Corps would allow men and women to enlist as, basically, shores. You would be promoted through special boards (giggity) and we came up with all sorts of rules. One rule was that the higher your rank, the more often you were allowed to utilize this new MOS in the comfort of your own tent.
Obviously a huge joke, but it went on for the entire deployment and I bet we had a 100 page regulation book ready to go, complete with PME and regulations.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Mar 3 at 2016 11:24 PM

2016-03-03T23:24:39-05:00

Enlisted Advisor to the President, who's sole purpose would be to tell him when he's being a dumbass, as it relates to the military. The job would come with immunity from presidential ire.

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 4 at 2016 2:08 AM

2016-03-04T02:08:49-05:00

An actual full time fitness instructor that is assigned at the Company level, whose sole job is to maintain unit and personal physical readiness. It's a joke that they have an MOS for a guy that can play the clarinet but don't have one to make sure that people are maximizing their physical potential.

Response by SrA Matthew Knight made Mar 4 at 2016 2:12 AM

2016-03-04T02:12:46-05:00

Air Force Storm Chasing Service

The Air Force already has Hurricane Hunters for research purposes. I would personally volunteer as tribute for a ground based tornado chasing service as well for "research". Could mount weather equipment on an MRAP and be good to go. Hell, I'll even drive the thing into severe weather, I'm not scared. Could give the weather community great info and data for research and it would be fun as hell.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 12 at 2016 6:19 PM

2016-03-12T18:19:37-05:00

Police call and range-cleanup specialist.
Trained and proficient in picking up spent brass, sorting live and spent ammo, recycling trash and removing waste.
Police call and range clean-up specialists can make your army a more beautiful place!

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Jan 28 at 2023 8:48 AM

2023-01-28T08:48:30-05:00

Commanding General Lower Enlisted Liaison.
A 2-star gets a SPC, 3-star and 4-stars get a SGT.

This person is a supplement to the CSM as an advisor on enlisted matters. But they give the ground truth of how the Joes will REALLY react to any policy decision.

To maintain proficiency, Soldiers selected for this position will serve a maximum of one year in the position, and must serve in a tactical (i.e. line) unit position for a minimum of one year between stints.