I went to the Chow Hall this morning, left pretty pissed off. Would you do the same thing I did?

CSM Michael J. Uhlig — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 18:41:00 -0400

My spouse and I went to the gym this morning and had a great workout. After my shower, I went to the DFAC for Sunday morning brunch. spending time with the Soldiers as well as chow was great.

We noticed a couple (probably in early-mid forties) sitting at the next table with three young children (ages estimated at 6, 8, 9)....the children were running all over the place - not being watched or corrected by the either parent....looked like they had been there for quite some time as well because there was food, wrappers, plates all over the place.

I noticed the children playing around the area fallen hero table so I approached the father, I thought I was very restrained - here's what happened:

Me: Sir, do you know what this table is here for?
His reply: "roger, I know the meaning".

Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.

(the children were still running around.....now the youngest was pulling at the fallen hero table cloth)

Me: Are these your children?
Reply: Yes.

Me: Sir, do you truly understand the importance of this display, and understand what it exactly means to all of us within this community?
Reply: Yes

Me: Sir, please get your children under control!

At that point, he grabbed his son and put the child over his shoulder and walked with him back to the table and then turned him lose & let him go back to "roaming" all around the DFAC....next to the stoves and all the other appliances (in the back) which are not so kid friendly!

How would you have handled the situation? Directly? Indirectly (thru the DFAC manager? Ignored the situation completely, (it aint my business).

Response by LTC Stephen F. made Oct 4 at 2015 6:44 PM

LTC Stephen F. — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 18:44:21 -0400

I too would have intervened and reminded the parents to control their children CSM Michael J. Uhlig

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 4 at 2015 6:51 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 18:51:52 -0400

Properly done. I'd have gotten the DFAC manager involved also. Possible accident waiting to happen there.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 4 at 2015 6:53 PM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 18:53:02 -0400

Sounds as if you were indeed very restrained. Thankfully the kids didn't get hurt.

Response by CPO Andy Carrillo, MS made Oct 4 at 2015 7:18 PM

CPO Andy Carrillo, MS — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:18:55 -0400

The Polish have a great saying I try to apply: nut meh seerkus, nut meh monkyees [Nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy]. Too many parents are tone deaf when it comes to their children's behaviors in public, but it neither affects me nor my pay grade, so I thank God I'm not them and move on. I try not to allow others to determine my emotional state, especially immature children and their parents.

Response by LTC John Shaw made Oct 4 at 2015 7:56 PM

LTC John Shaw — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 19:56:06 -0400

You did the right thing, even if the soldier again followed up with poor decision making.

Response by MSG Brad Sand made Oct 4 at 2015 9:17 PM

MSG Brad Sand — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 21:17:55 -0400

Not sure I know how I would react...not even sure I know how I wish I would have acted?

Response by MSgt Keith Hebert made Oct 4 at 2015 9:41 PM

MSgt Keith Hebert — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 21:41:25 -0400

I would have done the same thing but I would have introduced myself and then after he ignored the first talking to I would have done two things.
Notified the manager
Gotten his name and unit and called his first shirt
( all thus is assuming I outrank him lol)

Response by CPT Aaron Kletzing made Oct 4 at 2015 10:01 PM

CPT Aaron Kletzing — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 22:01:51 -0400

You showed more patience than I would have! Good story for learning points.

Response by LTC Bink Romanick made Oct 4 at 2015 10:08 PM

LTC Bink Romanick — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 22:08:48 -0400

CSM Michael J. Uhlig I have never understood why parents don't control their children in those situations. I have seen similar behavior in civilian restaurants and it irks me I would have gotten the DFAC mgr involved.

Response by Sgt Kelli Mays made Oct 4 at 2015 10:09 PM

Sgt Kelli Mays — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 22:09:22 -0400

I would probably have said something....I probably would have told him that it wasn't a play ground and that if he wanted his children to play he should take them outside or to the park.....I would have let him know that he and his wife were being extremely disrespectful and then I would have said "SHAME ON YOU!".....then went to the management.

Response by SN Greg Wright made Oct 4 at 2015 11:36 PM

SN Greg Wright — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 23:36:41 -0400

CSM Michael J. Uhlig Well one or the other had to be military didn't they, CSM? I'm curious why you didn't just pull rank.

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Oct 5 at 2015 12:49 AM

SFC Mark Merino — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 00:49:16 -0400

Well done CSM Michael J. Uhlig Very professional. Incredible restraint. Might I suggest contacting some of us retired NCO's next time and having us do some much needed covert ops? (off the books of course...lol?)

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 5 at 2015 3:12 AM

MSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 03:12:18 -0400

I believe you handled that in a very professional manner and with grace. The only other course of action I see would have been bringing the DFAC manager into the equation. It always bothers me when parents do not control their children in public places.

Response by SFC Dr. Joseph Finck, BS, MA, DSS made Oct 5 at 2015 8:09 AM

SFC Dr. Joseph Finck, BS, MA, DSS — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 08:09:02 -0400

CSM Michael J. Uhlig Thank you for doing the right thing and enforcing the standard as well as protecting the symbolism of the fallen hero table.

Response by Cpl Jeff N. made Oct 5 at 2015 8:44 AM

Cpl Jeff N. — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 08:44:01 -0400

As an E9, I think you engaged properly and calmly. Probably more calmly than I might have. I suspect this person was an officer (or you were not sure) as you referred to him as sir more than once. I might have asked him to step away from his table and had a polite word with him about the situation and the lack of deference being paid etc. If that didn't work, then off to the facility manager to let him/her engage. It is appalling this would happen in a military dining facility and someone appeared not to care what his children were doing.

Response by COL Jean (John) F. B. made Oct 5 at 2015 9:15 AM

COL Jean (John) F. B. — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 09:15:31 -0400

I would have done the same thing and, then, when no positive action was taken by the parents, gotten the DFAC Manager involved. My dealings then would have ben with the manager (and his/her supervisor) if he/she failed to control the situation. Like you, it would not be in me to simply walk off and ignore it. It would have been resolved, one way or other, before I left (or the family left).

Response by SPC Nate Lamphier made Oct 5 at 2015 11:40 AM

SPC Nate Lamphier — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 11:40:11 -0400

I think it is a damn shame the issue wasn't addressed before you.

Response by SSG Warren Swan made Oct 5 at 2015 11:50 AM

SSG Warren Swan — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 11:50:12 -0400

CSM with all due respect, you did the right thing, and the fact you held your bearing speaks for you. The DFAC manager, or that (if he was a Soldier's) BDE/BN CSM would've gotten a phone call. If you find out he's one of yours directly, life would be very interesting or him and his NCO Support channel for awhile. When his PSG finds out... this is exactly what he's be thinking.

Response by SPC(P) Jay Heenan made Oct 5 at 2015 11:52 AM

SPC(P) Jay Heenan — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 11:52:21 -0400

I am actually appalled that the DFAC staff didn't intervene. I would of said something, to the family and to the DFAC manager. My children are aware of all the customs in the military and I would NEVER allow them to be disruptive in the DFAC (or any other place for that matter). I can't tell you how many times I have witnessed small children running around post unsupervised...it is a shame actually.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Oct 5 at 2015 1:33 PM

MAJ Ken Landgren — Mon, 05 Oct 2015 13:33:02 -0400

Unruly kids and their apathetic parents should be ejected by the DFAC staff.

Response by COL Mikel J. Burroughs made Oct 6 at 2015 3:06 PM

COL Mikel J. Burroughs — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 15:06:23 -0400

CSM Michael J. Uhlig You were very nice and professional. I don't if I would have been as nice. I would have been professional, but if he didn't get a handle on the kids then I would have gotten the DFAC Manager involved. He needed to comply or gather up the Indians and depart. Parnets need to make their children mind and behave in the DFAC or any establishment as far as that goes. Good Job CSM!

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 6 at 2015 3:17 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 15:17:44 -0400

As a father of four I can understand how this situation could easily happen. Kids are kids, and some days you want to just let them be kids. But on the other hand, in a public place, especially when there could be safety hazards and things like the table for the fallen Soldier, you do not just let them be kids. I would have drop the hammer on my kids, let them know whats up and rolled out if they continued not to listen.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 6 at 2015 3:43 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 15:43:39 -0400

So listen high speed, Since you have lost your Military Bearing, and seem to believe you are in a Burger King with a ball pit, let me help you out. Just give me your unit of assignment, and i will personally call your CSM and request he come help you by baby sitting your children whilst you and your assumed spouse have a conversation. Or you can properly correct the situation in place on your own. Your choice.

Response by Cpl William Domenz made Oct 6 at 2015 4:36 PM

Cpl William Domenz — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 16:36:13 -0400

I checked off "other". Reason being, either the service has really changed or it's a Marine thing - as the only ones in the chow hall when I was in - Enlisted personnel. Is this different at the staff level?

Response by SGM Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 6 at 2015 5:07 PM

SGM Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 17:07:48 -0400

CSM Michael J. Uhlig,
This is hypothetical of course because placed in the same situation I may have acted differently in the heat of the moment, but I would have said, with as much tact as humanly possible under the circumstances "Excuse me sir, may I have a word with you away from your family?" (Once alone) "Sir, my name is MSG Jimmy Robinson, how are you doing, sir." (hopefully at this point he gives me his rank and name) if so I explain the situation and tell him to get his children in line. (I would also make sure to get his commanders name and unit) If he does not tell me who he is I would ask for his unit and commanders information and ensure I contact them straight away. However, having said all of this as an “arm chair quarterback”, SGM, I would have probably done pretty much the same thing if one of his children actually touched the table. There is no place for that level of disrespect to our fallen brothers and sisters.

Response by 1SG Charles Hunter made Oct 6 at 2015 5:47 PM

1SG Charles Hunter — Tue, 06 Oct 2015 17:47:07 -0400

Soldier dining facility as family restaurant? Granted, I've been out for awhile, but... My only experience in Grafenwoehr was for field training and to conduct interviews with a 2d Cav trooper (when I was an IG). I don't know what facilities are available for permanent party families. Nonetheless, in my experience, sponsors (military members) are responsible for the behavior of their family members or guests in post facilities. Good behavior and decorum are expected at all times.

Response by SPC Jeff Lamica made Oct 7 at 2015 11:33 AM

SPC Jeff Lamica — Wed, 07 Oct 2015 11:33:44 -0400

This is why the M5 Knife Hand, and the M1-2 Throat Punch were issued to CSMs. This also why every CSM is constantly in a state of irritation.

Response by CW3 Eric W. S. made Oct 7 at 2015 11:46 AM

CW3 Eric W. S. — Wed, 07 Oct 2015 11:46:51 -0400

I had to vote "other". I am not a passive individual. I would have been very forceful and essentially forced him to keep his unruly children under control, no questions asked.

Response by PO3 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 7 at 2015 11:49 AM

PO3 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 07 Oct 2015 11:49:54 -0400

I would have gang up on him. ask a few more around to circle him and the kids. lol that might get me into trouble.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 7 at 2015 12:18 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 07 Oct 2015 12:18:14 -0400

I would have let the DFAC manager/Officer/NCO know. I'd let me CoC know too so they could bring it down the Installation channels. That's is pretty absurd though.

Response by SCPO Mikel Krause made Oct 7 at 2015 12:39 PM

SCPO Mikel Krause — Wed, 07 Oct 2015 12:39:34 -0400

I would have asked for an ID...and escorted them out. They would be more than welcome to come back if they could restrain their animals

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 7 at 2015 1:51 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 07 Oct 2015 13:51:31 -0400

CSM, to be perfectly honest, I think you handled it as tactically and professionally as you could. But based on the after events of said child being "corrected" and let loose, I would have taken it up with DFAC management, for one children have no business in every nook and cranny of the establishment, it's a safety issue whether it be hot stoves and equipment, employees moving food and not seeing the children underfoot, the possibilities are limitless. If the parent happened to be a military sponsor I would have asked for ID card, Unit, and phone numbers of the 1SG, and SGM in that Soldier's command. General military authority charges us as an NCO Corps to correct deficiencies that could lead to loss of good order and discipline, and I believe if this was in fact a Soldier with his family and not controlling his children that it would fall in that realm. Also I'm pretty certain that if one of the children were to have been injured the first persons crying foul would have been the parents. Just my .02 of a dollar

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 7 at 2015 4:23 PM

PO2 Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 07 Oct 2015 16:23:16 -0400

I would have collected the kids myself and brought them to him, told him the importance of the table and if the kids were to go to that table agin I would get take him aside to help square him away.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 7 at 2015 9:55 PM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 07 Oct 2015 21:55:21 -0400

CSM Michael J. Uhlig I would have done the same, probably not as tactfully as I am sure you were. There is no excuse for this.

Response by SCPO Carl Wayne Boss made Oct 7 at 2015 11:58 PM

SCPO Carl Wayne Boss — Wed, 07 Oct 2015 23:58:32 -0400

I would have made the Facility Manager/Officer/NCO on duty aware of "the unrest" and given them the opportunity to correct the problem, then backed them up if necessary.

I'd have probably asked one or both of the parents for their ID and put them in touch with Family Services for some counseling or education with regard to child discipline, even though that may have gone over like a lead balloon.

If the situation did not abate and the couple continued to fail to "control" their urchins, I'd have probably suggested to the Facility Manager, that Base Law Enforcement be contacted, if the disruption continued...

Response by SPC Sid Saenz made Oct 8 at 2015 12:10 AM

SPC Sid Saenz — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 00:10:13 -0400

wait, you can bring your family to the DFAC now? this is new to me, I was used to only soldiers being allowed there.

Response by SPC Thomas Baldwin made Oct 8 at 2015 12:27 AM

SPC Thomas Baldwin — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 00:27:41 -0400

I say ALL HANDS ON DECK!! CSM, I would have done what you did and involved the DFAC staff and due to the lack of getting the message followed though with both on the parents chain of command. for whom ever is a SM.

Response by SGT Neil Chandler made Oct 8 at 2015 12:30 AM

SGT Neil Chandler — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 00:30:51 -0400

CSM Michael J. Uhlig, I would have done the same thing, probably not as nice but still, and then I would've notified the DFAC staff/management as well. That way all bases are covered.

Response by CW2 Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 8 at 2015 7:10 AM

CW2 Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 07:10:31 -0400

I would have asked him to get his kids under control just like you did. then I would have gone to the defac ncoic. If that didn't have worked I would take it higher on the defac NCO for not taking control of his/her defac.

Response by SGT Ben Keen made Oct 8 at 2015 9:03 AM

SGT Ben Keen — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 09:03:26 -0400

The way you handled it is exactly the way I think a leader should react. The Fallen Hero table is not a toy. I was at an event that was attended by both military and civilian people last year and there was a Fallen Hero table present. One gentleman was walking around with his date/girlfriend/wife, and he set a drink down on the table. To most people this is okay yet, as I watched the glass get closer to landing on the table, I approached him and simply asked him to not rest anything on the table. After taking the time to explain what the table meant, he clearly understood and thanked me for teaching him something that day. Now that was a civilian who had no idea what the table meant.

For someone, civilian or military, to know what the table means; to allow someone else in their party to behave in such a manner is craziness. Yet, you see it all the time. Walk into a store and you'll see kid(s) running down the isle with cart while the parents are lost in their phones keeping up on Twitter. Walk into a restaurant and your nice peaceful meal with your family is interrupted by some kid who thought that PF Changs is a good playground.

I'm no where close to the perfect father but I'm so thankful that my kids listened to the lessons on respect I gave them and that we can go out and enjoy ourselves without interrupting others.

Response by SPC David S. made Oct 8 at 2015 8:58 PM

SPC David S. — Thu, 08 Oct 2015 20:58:25 -0400

Talk to the kids and explain the meaning of the table and explain to them that they need to be seated with their parents. If that didn't work throat punch the little minions.

Response by PO2 Ryan Felch made Oct 11 at 2015 10:35 AM

PO2 Ryan Felch — Sun, 11 Oct 2015 10:35:53 -0400

I would have done the same...the sad thing is most everything and everyone now days are too pc or sensitive...I've been told and given looks a couple times in stores when I gave my child a swat on the butt that I'm a terrible parent. Now mind you my son needed a little correcting and talking to him at his level wasn't doing the job, plus it wasn't a full on arm back swing, it was a quick smack to let him now that his behavior was unacceptable. I've only had to do this a few times and my son now knows how to act in public...respectful. I was spanked as a child and I'm perfectly fine. Kids needs a good check every now and then. I have seen a kid at a NEX scream at his father for Legos, the dad just said no the kid screamed again ran down the Isle and ripped open the box and bags and dump them on the floor and the dad did nothing. I asked if he was going to pick them up and pay for them, he just looked at me like how dare I ask such a question. So I went and got management. What happened after that I have no idea. It sad how some people don't care to help foster their children into respectful young adults.

Response by SFC Kenneth Highland made Oct 11 at 2015 1:15 PM

SFC Kenneth Highland — Sun, 11 Oct 2015 13:15:30 -0400

BRING BACK THE MESS SERGEANTS, THERE IS TOTAL CHAOS IN MOST CHOW HALLS NOW. CIVILIAN EMPLOYEE'S ARE AFRAID TO CORRECT THE RANKS WHEN A VIOLATION OCCURS IN FRONT OF THEM. THE CHOW HALL IS NOT A PUBLIC PLACE, IT IS A DINING FACILITY AND AS SUCH A MILITARY MEMBER IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONDUCT OF THEIR DEPENDENTS WHILE ON A MILITARY INSTALLATION. I APPLAUD CSM UHLIG FOR HAVING THE FORTITUDE TO CORRECT THIS INDIVIDUAL, THERE ARE WAY TO MANY VIOLATIONS NOWADAYS THAT ARE JUST OVERLOOKED. IN THE EARLY 80'S WE HAD TO DRESS APPROPRIATELY TO ENTER THE CHOW HALL, NO PT GEAR OR SWEAT PANTS ALLOWED.

Response by SSG David McPherson made Oct 11 at 2015 5:36 PM

SSG David McPherson — Sun, 11 Oct 2015 17:36:12 -0400

If I were still there I would have the family to leave, due to the fact that the facility is not Ryans or Golden Corral and that our facility is not a play ground

Response by SGM Stanley Morton made Oct 11 at 2015 6:54 PM

SGM Stanley Morton — Sun, 11 Oct 2015 18:54:42 -0400

CSM
I am a retired SGM, last position held was the Senior Mission SGM of my installation.

As a Senior NCO you have general military authority that charges you with maintaining discipline and order no matter Soldier or civilian anywhere on a military installation, this also includes off the installation if situation dependent with Military members regardless of branch. Also, unless told otherwise you are a representation for your Commander and the NCO support channel on your installation. I would've identified myself as CSM and proceeded with what you done. The second time I would've made the suggestion if you don't get your kids under control and if it happens again I will call the MPs to have you escorted from the premises. Stating this is a military facility and if he identified himself as a civilian I would've told him it's a privilege for you and your family. If either of them was a Soldier, well you know what steps you can take then. Regardless if Officer or Enlisted they are responsible for their family members to maintain order and dicilpline. In the meantime if I didn't own the DFAC I would've notified the manager to get me the CSM who owns the DFAC and pass the incident own to them so they know what's going on and what's coming their way as I would've saw the incident through.

Least case, next day I would've briefed the Commander and all relevant leadership that may be involved. If I owned the DFAC I would posted written rules and counsel all my NCOs for future guidelines of accepted behavior of all patrons. And empowered them on how to execute if any issues. Trust me, word would get out on how you are rectifying behavior in your space.

Worst case scenario if called the MPs they would've made the blotter and they would've had to explain themselves to someone for disrespect of the Fallen Soldier table. Also your Sr Mission Post CSM would've seen this and I know he would've assured you in your efforts.

Summary. Many Soldiers and civilians don't know the power a CSM/SGM has until tested. CSM exercise your authority. I can't think of any CSM/SGM that I knew while I was a SGM would've have left without having the situation resolved.

Hope this helps.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 11 at 2015 7:22 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 11 Oct 2015 19:22:38 -0400

Sounds like you already did the right thing within your "lane". Messing around with the stoves and burners is a facility NCO/Safety matter. They will be able to "back up" their rules and safety violations much more readily than you. A complaint form someone who is recognized as an official in that field will carry more weight than a complaint from "the nit-picky guy". Even if you are in the right.

Response by SGT Mark Stevens made Oct 11 at 2015 10:43 PM

SGT Mark Stevens — Sun, 11 Oct 2015 22:43:40 -0400

Several core Balues were in question here. If this soldiers home life was like this in public, what was it like at his job?

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 12 at 2015 1:12 AM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 12 Oct 2015 01:12:44 -0400

I would have asked him and his family to depart the facility and not return till he can teach his family some respect for not only the Fallen Heroes Table, but for the DFAC in general.

Response by SPC Nathan Freeman made Oct 12 at 2015 7:46 AM

SPC Nathan Freeman — Mon, 12 Oct 2015 07:46:50 -0400

If I had your stripes, I'd do the same thing. I take my kids to restaurants and use it as a teaching opportunity to teach them how to behave in society. I've only had compliments from others in the restaurant. The "board of education" is never far away.

Response by SSG Sean Wilson made Oct 12 at 2015 10:59 AM

SSG Sean Wilson — Mon, 12 Oct 2015 10:59:46 -0400

after what the CSM did I would have inter acted with the children talked to them entertained them draw, play and teach lead by example some people may need to see and be shamed into what a parent should do it takes more than being a sperm donor to be a parent leadership and respect starts at home we are a brotherhood and sometimes it takes a village to raise a child I have two grown sons that by not choosing to enter the military have broken a chain of military service that dates back to the revolutionary war, but I routinely get feed back about how polite and respectful they are, their actions as young men have open many doors for them, we sometimes have to teach others that parenting starts from the moment they are born, never ends, and your children and their behavior is a direct reflection of you and of your character I would have explained this to the parents involved

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 12 at 2015 11:01 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 12 Oct 2015 11:01:57 -0400

I think (as a Soldier, and father of 6) that in the absence of parents' leadership that it would be acceptable to call the kids over to the Fallen Soldiers' table and explain the meaning of it and the reverence appropriate. When kindly and firmly guided kids pick up stuff pretty quickly. As long as you don't touch 'em you're golden. My CSMs always knew my children and my kids respected them from the time they were toddlers. As CSM Cox once told me, my kids could be hell on wheels too!

Response by SSG Dwight Amey MSA, MSL, BS, AS made Oct 12 at 2015 1:43 PM

SSG Dwight Amey MSA, MSL, BS, AS — Mon, 12 Oct 2015 13:43:18 -0400

CSM Michael J. Uhlig, I agree with your actions. Parents should have respect for our fallen and it seems the parents might not be military. If they are, they should be ashamed of their parenting skills.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 12 at 2015 2:05 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 12 Oct 2015 14:05:16 -0400

I would've reacted in a similar way. I might've lost my cool though after he let it happen again.

Response by SFC Eduardo Pacheco made Oct 12 at 2015 3:34 PM

SFC Eduardo Pacheco — Mon, 12 Oct 2015 15:34:35 -0400

I thought children are not allowed in the DFAC? Are they allowed now?

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 12 at 2015 3:43 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 12 Oct 2015 15:43:50 -0400

You did the right thing, Sergeant Major. I say other, rather than yes or no, because in my mind, it is very much a matter of timing. In my best, most diplomatic bearing, I come across as something of a bull-moose. When I don't give a damn about a person's feelings... well, I've never been a Marine or a drill instructor, but I've been called Gunny Hartman by more than one person.

From my own experience, I took the family to a VFW cookout a while back. My 9-year old daughter was amusing herself by playing quietly on the stage and walking around looking at the various documents and pictures on the walls. She wasn't being a nuisance at all. However, when she approached the Table, and went to start finger poking the setting, I called her over and explained the fact that that table was not allowed to be touched. When she asked why, I told her to go read the presentation, but not to touch it. She did. I had to explain some of the concepts to her, but she's a smart kid. She never touched it again.

I can not abide parents who refuse to be parents. I'm teaching my wife's mother as much as I'm teaching my daughter. I constantly have to remind her that it is not for adults to be friends with children first. It is their primary responsibility to teach and, when needed, correct their understanding of the universe. In my opinion, her mush-minded, "I can't discipline a child" crap is exactly why our society is spiraling down the toilet bowl of history.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 12 at 2015 5:45 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 12 Oct 2015 17:45:43 -0400

I think I would have handled it very differently. I would have asked the couple to get their children under control as well as get their names, gotten management involved and asked them to leave and not return until they teach their kids have to manners and respect for a place that is not their home.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 12 at 2015 8:33 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 12 Oct 2015 20:33:20 -0400

Even as a member of the E-4 Mafia, i would address the issue. Of course my tact would be different if he addressed he were a higher rank. No one of any rank has the authority to disrespect such a monument. It's obvious this person (hesitate to call him a soldier simply due to his obvious uncaring) has no integrity or sense of duty.

Response by Sgt Chad Lane made Oct 12 at 2015 9:21 PM

Sgt Chad Lane — Mon, 12 Oct 2015 21:21:43 -0400

Why on earth are children in the chow hall to begin with?

I think you handled it properly, by the way.

Response by SFC Joseph Weber made Oct 12 at 2015 9:55 PM

SFC Joseph Weber — Mon, 12 Oct 2015 21:55:23 -0400

I think you showed remarkable restraint.

Response by SSG Ernest Ricardo Thompson made Oct 12 at 2015 11:45 PM

SSG Ernest Ricardo Thompson — Mon, 12 Oct 2015 23:45:40 -0400

As a NCO whom worked for a D fac in the past my advice is simple I would have pulled that soldier to the side and jumped all in his butt about his children first off disrepecting the display and then disrespecting my chow hall and would have told him that he and his family had to go

Response by SSG Leland Nixon made Oct 13 at 2015 7:05 AM

SSG Leland Nixon — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 07:05:00 -0400

Discipline and respect starts at the top. When our leaders show they are easily overrun then chaos will ensue. Our governmental leaders have shown they have no discipline or respect for others or even themselves by the way the conduct their lives and our "we the people's " business. It continues down the chain of command, to the Pvt. And his/her children. You did the right thing and should have done more. Report it to the OIC or whoever is responsible for that area.
God Bless these United States of America!

Response by LCpl Mark Lefler made Oct 13 at 2015 11:01 AM

LCpl Mark Lefler — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 11:01:21 -0400

letting ones kids run around anywhere is deplorable, so much bad parenting in the world.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 13 at 2015 6:15 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 18:15:57 -0400

CSM,
I have been asking the question to my chain as what has happened to the army? Why are the NCO's not taking it back and making things right. When I was a lower enlisted soldier in Hawaii. I was scared to even go in my PSG'S office let alone get on his computer at all. I don't remember one time even talking to him unless he ask me a direct question. As a PSG I can't even go to the Motor Pool for a bit and come back to my office and I have soldiers hanging out, soldiers on my computer, soldiers texting and the list goes on and on. When I am harsh to them I get a negative counseling from my LT which he is almost half my age. Never been to combat and he has the right to rate me. My point is what happened to the NCO putting the foot down and getting the army at least back to what it was in the 90's. That guy should have never let that happened. It is horrible that soldiers have no ideal. Really bothers me.

Response by CPL Timothy Lane made Oct 13 at 2015 8:50 PM

CPL Timothy Lane — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 20:50:08 -0400

Ask name and unit. Regardless if you do any thing with it.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 13 at 2015 9:40 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 21:40:06 -0400

I'm at a wow state right CSM, I know it took everything in your body to keep calm and try to control the situation. The couple were wrong and kids don't know any better unless their parents teach them. I salute your patience CSM and I hope to control myself if ever approach with a situation like yours.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 13 at 2015 10:59 PM

SSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 22:59:01 -0400

DFAC manager should have gotten involved sir but you went straight to the problem which was the parent. Unfortunately he needed to be embarrassed to realize his parenting skills warranted improving. Sometimes improving our surroundings doesn't require a nurturing approach but a harsh realization!

Response by SGT Curtis McNeil made Oct 13 at 2015 11:11 PM

SGT Curtis McNeil — Tue, 13 Oct 2015 23:11:04 -0400

I would have given my rank and told him he neesed to tighten up his kids. Take them to a park as this is a place of business. Teach your children what this table means. Then get on the DFAC NCOIC for not taking care of his duty.

Response by SGT Jim Ramge, MBA made Oct 14 at 2015 12:05 AM

SGT Jim Ramge, MBA — Wed, 14 Oct 2015 00:05:54 -0400

So not a single individual that was working in the DFAC during the entire meal said anything to the DFAC Manager/NCOIC? That's where it should have started!
Since it didn't, surprised it took a CSM to step-up, unless other troops were concerned of offending the individual, or worse yet, having the tact backfire in one form of retribution or another. A CSM has nothing to lose, but if someone of a younger generation, say SPC/SGT were to open their mouth and the CoC didn't back them up, career is done. Wouldn't be the first time...
Personally, both ways would be tactful, either notifying the DFAC or handling it tactfully yourself.

Response by COL Charles Williams made Oct 14 at 2015 12:45 AM

COL Charles Williams — Wed, 14 Oct 2015 00:45:53 -0400

CSM Michael J. Uhlig direct action is always the best course. Quick and professional corrections.

Response by SGT Robert Zuniga made Oct 14 at 2015 9:35 AM

SGT Robert Zuniga — Wed, 14 Oct 2015 09:35:29 -0400

Should've put him and all his kids in the front lean and rest!!

Response by TSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 14 at 2015 3:53 PM

TSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 14 Oct 2015 15:53:29 -0400

I'm fairly sure I would have done something similar, but I would have been extremely sarcastic and belittling to the parents. If there wasn't some recent emotional issue that impeded their ability to exercise good parenting, I would make sure they understood how much of a failure they truly were not only to their selves and their children, but to their organization and the military image as a whole.

Response by SSG Antonine Galvan made Oct 14 at 2015 7:33 PM

SSG Antonine Galvan — Wed, 14 Oct 2015 19:33:40 -0400

Wowow that's crazy

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 14 at 2015 8:59 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Wed, 14 Oct 2015 20:59:11 -0400

CSM, I would have done the same thing in addition to contacting management. If that customer whether civilian or military is showing no respect for The Fallen Soldier table or the safety of their own children they can be banned from entering that DFAC.

Response by PO2 Jonathan Blaker made Oct 15 at 2015 4:10 AM

PO2 Jonathan Blaker — Thu, 15 Oct 2015 04:10:06 -0400

Honestly I'm glad it was you and not me. I have little to no tact and even if they were of higher rank would have been blunt. I probably would have tried to talk to the kid near the table first and explained what it means. You would be surprised how much even young kids understand. If that didn't work I would probably have tried a combination of the two options leaning towards those in charge take charge in light of my lack of tact.

Response by SSG John Waddell made Oct 15 at 2015 8:21 AM

SSG John Waddell — Thu, 15 Oct 2015 08:21:01 -0400

Every dinning facility has dress code including on the behavior of all guests. This must be I forced by the DFM or his next present NCO in charge,.! But if your a CSM! That means Command and that is what a CSM does!!

Response by LTC Ray B. (Ret) made Oct 15 at 2015 11:37 AM

LTC Ray B. (Ret) — Thu, 15 Oct 2015 11:37:59 -0400

I am old school. Real simple. Your children are your responsibility, get them under control or get them out of the DFAC.

Response by SN Mark Crenshaw made Oct 15 at 2015 11:46 AM

SN Mark Crenshaw — Thu, 15 Oct 2015 11:46:02 -0400

I really did not know how to reply to this. Nor do I know what was that all about. To me it sounds like a sergeant who had enough with the food being served there and wanted everyone to eat something else than a burger.

Response by Col Joseph Lenertz made Oct 15 at 2015 12:38 PM

Col Joseph Lenertz — Thu, 15 Oct 2015 12:38:13 -0400

You handled it excellently, CSM Michael J. Uhlig. We must police ourselves, including our children (in public, especially on post), to maintain the professional culture we have. If I were still active, I would do the same.

Response by PO2 Corbin Crouse made Oct 15 at 2015 3:17 PM

PO2 Corbin Crouse — Thu, 15 Oct 2015 15:17:13 -0400

I am not sure about the other branches, me being Navy. I know I was responsible for the EDF at Jacksonville for a while being a MS2 at the time assigned as MDMAA. Nothing like this would have been tolerated, one word from me and the CWO would have been on the phone to his (her) Master Chief and writing up the member.

Response by SPC Nelson Spivey made Oct 15 at 2015 7:36 PM

SPC Nelson Spivey — Thu, 15 Oct 2015 19:36:37 -0400

On the spot correction. End of story

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 15 at 2015 10:54 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 15 Oct 2015 22:54:09 -0400

CSM, I applaud your bearing and tact. I have been out for a while, but the respect due to those who gave all needs to be universal. If guests on our installations are unwilling to act in a manner according to their location, then their current access should be revoked, politely at first, and then with just force if necessary. When I was in, this would have gotten the attention of everyone in the the mess hall, and some of my brothers would have responded after the initial "failure to communicate" with decreasing tact. Again, CSM, I applaud your bearing. Well spoken, and executed with honor.

Response by 1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 16 at 2015 1:23 AM

1stSgt Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 16 Oct 2015 01:23:51 -0400

Im old school. As a retired First Sergeant, I would have been all up in it! There are way too many "nice" NCO's on here! And what happened, by the way, to the good ole term "Chow Hall?"

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 16 at 2015 7:30 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 16 Oct 2015 07:30:54 -0400

Yes I would have done something but the Army has put so many regulations on raising children not to mention the government that if you do discipline your children that if you do you get in trouble I'm not talking about beating I'm talking about discipline in general one my friends had the MPs called on him because it was abuse for not letting the child do what they want.

Response by SSG Leo Bell made Oct 16 at 2015 3:03 PM

SSG Leo Bell — Fri, 16 Oct 2015 15:03:36 -0400

You did the right thing

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 16 at 2015 5:54 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 16 Oct 2015 17:54:24 -0400

I have eaten at the DFAC with my Wife and Son....sometimes its just cheaper than going out, my Son is 7 and knows what that table is for...I would have done the same thing you did CSM.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 17 at 2015 6:44 AM

CSM Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 17 Oct 2015 06:44:02 -0400

Make a correction; in a military installation; we all have the duties to correct deficiencies or problem

Response by Cpl Eric Barron made Oct 17 at 2015 10:24 AM

Cpl Eric Barron — Sat, 17 Oct 2015 10:24:31 -0400

Former Marine Cpl Barron says boot up the asses of each of those little bastereds and a ball grab from behind on the old man. But then again who knows whats going on behind the scenes.

Response by Cpl Jason Ferguson made Oct 17 at 2015 11:05 AM

Cpl Jason Ferguson — Sat, 17 Oct 2015 11:05:15 -0400

I would have intervened but had the kids gather around and explain to them what the meaning of the display is for and give them "a heads up" on what is expected of them while attending such areas as the DFAC. Spread the traditional meaning of service life and all it encumbrances!

Response by SSG John Mitchell made Oct 18 at 2015 2:40 AM

SSG John Mitchell — Sun, 18 Oct 2015 02:40:37 -0400

CSM, what you did was handle it a lot better than I would have but I do have ONE nagging little question. Where were the rest of the NCOs or ANY Soldier for that matter? This is a situation that you should have never even had to deal with.

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 18 at 2015 7:09 AM

LCDR Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 18 Oct 2015 07:09:22 -0400

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Response by MSgt Michelle Mondia made Oct 18 at 2015 10:27 AM

MSgt Michelle Mondia — Sun, 18 Oct 2015 10:27:51 -0400

I think it may have worked out differently if you let your spouse approch their mother. Guys can't handel this stuff. Two women would have come to a better conclusion.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Oct 18 at 2015 1:44 PM

SGT Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 18 Oct 2015 13:44:43 -0400

I believe you did the right thing. But once they went running off back to the table i would have kindly asked them to leave the premises. If not there will be someone to escort them out. That was disrespectful when he replied he knew the meaning of the table. So that meant he didnt care. He would once the mps showed up tho. Haha.

Response by SPC Dustin Boyd made Nov 2 at 2015 3:32 AM

SPC Dustin Boyd — Mon, 02 Nov 2015 03:32:03 -0500

I would have done the same, at the Legion post that I'm apart of had something similar happen even people taking the chair to sit in....I think it's direspectful to mess with a fallen hero or MIA table, I think you handled it fine. I would have probably gotten the manager involved as well though. SPC Boyd Army Whoa!

Response by 1SG William Svoboda made Nov 16 at 2015 6:31 PM

1SG William Svoboda — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 18:31:05 -0500

I would add that I would have asked this troop to step outside with me introduced myself and determined their status and addressed them accordingly. Sounds like they need parting classes too.

Response by Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 16 at 2015 7:03 PM

Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 16 Nov 2015 19:03:43 -0500

One time I went to Ft Bliss with my orders DA civilian going into theather we were allowed to eat at the dining facility so I showed my orders and then the attendant charge me any ways and she will not give me the refund. I requested to speak to the Manager a contractor and she will not do anything...I think we need to go back to military taken care of our dining facilities...so they do not lose their skills and customer service. My personal opinion.

Response by SGT Jaime Alaniz made Nov 17 at 2015 9:54 AM

SGT Jaime Alaniz — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 09:54:38 -0500

If the DFAC MGR was not responding to the issue; there can only be two reasons:
1). He was in the back office getting over a hangover.
2). Or dropped dead in the back office while nursing a hangover.
You did the right thing! Furthermore, if there were other "leaders" in the DFAC; they should be written up for DERELICTION OF DUTY!!!

Response by Private RallyPoint Member made May 13 at 2016 11:57 AM

Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 13 May 2016 11:57:12 -0400

Speechless

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made May 28 at 2016 10:12 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sat, 28 May 2016 22:12:34 -0400

I would have told him to control his dag gone kids or leave

Response by SGT Charles Tittl made Jul 22 at 2016 12:49 PM

SGT Charles Tittl — Fri, 22 Jul 2016 12:49:06 -0400

Since when are children allowed in a DFAC?

Response by SGT Jason Baker made Jul 22 at 2016 1:13 PM

SGT Jason Baker — Fri, 22 Jul 2016 13:13:00 -0400

This saddens me. Where are the matters now days. Where are parents teaching their children respect and discipline. I'm sorry you had to go through this CSM. Honestly I would have educated the parents and children in polite conversation.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jul 22 at 2016 1:13 PM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Fri, 22 Jul 2016 13:13:26 -0400

I say Hooah CSM, it's not impolite to let a parent know there kids are unruly. It's the right thing to do. It takes a village.