I'm struggling with my mental health especially with the holidays approaching. I can't report it to my leadership. What should I do?

2023-12-15T11:57:03-05:00

I obviously don't want to say too much, but I am anxious and stressed in work and life and don't feel my leadership cares. I'm unmotivated, not eating, irritable around my kids - I hate who I am right now. I don't think my chain of command will be supportive based on what I've seen with others in similar situations. Other than a chaplain, where can I get confidential help? I really don't want to ruin my career.

Response by SSG Carlos Madden made Dec 15 at 2023 12:00 PM

2023-12-15T12:00:34-05:00

Dealing with chain of command issues can be difficult. It sounds like it might be helpful for you to talk to someone. We encourage you to check out this page to get connected to professional online support & in-person resources near you.
https://www.rallypoint.com/emergency-support

RallyPoint - The Military Network

Find service members and veterans like you, discuss military life, and share professional opportunities on the largest military network.

Response by CPT David Gowel made Dec 15 at 2023 12:01 PM

2023-12-15T12:01:13-05:00

I get why you don't want to talk about this, but am glad you raised it here. You can always try military one source confidential counseling: https://www.militaryonesource.mil/non-medical-counseling/

Non-Medical, Confidential Counseling | Military OneSource

Military OneSource offers free, confidential non-medical counseling to military service members and their family members for a variety of issues.

Response by Lt Col Charlie Brown made Dec 15 at 2023 12:08 PM

2023-12-15T12:08:34-05:00

You are also welcome at Warriors for Life. Groups meet every day
https://www.facebook.com/WFLVirtualgroup
And since you are on active duty, check out military one source...counseling without fee and no report back to your leadership.

Virtual Group Support Warriors for Life - WFL

Virtual Group Support Warriors for Life - WFL. 435 likes · 11 talking about this. Victory for Veterans, Inc. presents Warriors for Life (WFL) Online Peer Group Support Program

Response by SFC Kelly Fuerhoff made Dec 15 at 2023 1:18 PM

2023-12-15T13:18:48-05:00

Go to the chaplain at the very least. You don't have to tell your command you're gonig to the chaplain. Or you can make an appointment with your PCM and ask for a BH referral if you really need one. You don't need their permission to see help. Look up any of the resources to get help - because if you ignore it then it will be a negative impact later on.

Response by LCpl Craig A. Charbonneau made Dec 15 at 2023 1:37 PM

2023-12-15T13:37:14-05:00

Please don’t look at it as a career decision but look at it as salvaging a wonderful life for you and your family. There are so many resources. Utilize them please.

This Marine is praying for you

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Dec 15 at 2023 2:28 PM

2023-12-15T14:28:04-05:00

If your unit has an MFLC, that may be another resource. They usually can do a few appointments completely off the books, not during the duty day, so no one even has to know you are gone.

Response by SFC Casey O'Mally made Dec 15 at 2023 2:34 PM

2023-12-15T14:34:14-05:00

In addition to what everyone else has mentioned, I wanted to discuss the career aspect.

By policy, seeking and getting behavioral health / mental health treatment CANNOT be held against you. But your behaviors CAN. It is far better to get help and get better before something bad happens, both personally and professionally.

I had weekly appointments for about a year and then dropped down to monthly appointments, which I kept all the way through to retirement. I still have monthly appointments 6 years into retirement.

There is nothing to be ashamed about, and no reason to hide. And if your CoC tries to use it against you, use open door policy to talk to their boss.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2023 10:46 PM

2023-12-15T22:46:11-05:00

You can contact the MFLC, you can go talk to BH, you can talk to the Chaplain, you can seek a therapist off base in the civilian world. Or, you can contact me with e DM here and I will listen to what you want to tell me. I will listen without judgement.

Response by SSgt Christophe Murphy made Dec 16 at 2023 8:05 PM

2023-12-16T20:05:41-05:00

Have you tried talking to somebody? Go to a local Vet center, go to mental health, if your unit has a stress control counselor they are a resource. Mental health isn't a career killer. But you need to speak to somebody because pressure only builds if you don't find a way to release it.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 17 at 2023 4:47 PM

2023-12-17T16:47:27-05:00

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 18 at 2023 9:35 AM

2023-12-18T09:35:32-05:00

How do you p[ost anonymous??

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Dec 18 at 2023 9:16 PM

2023-12-18T21:16:48-05:00

Sometimes people, let's say with severe PTSD, who do not get hope will lose a lot more than anticipated.

I wrote a PTSD Healing Book. It has helped many people. Would you like to read it. It is free. You will never get an offer like this again.

Response by SP5 Robert Kennedy made Dec 19 at 2023 5:09 PM

2023-12-19T17:09:54-05:00

Anonymous U. I'm no expert on the topic, but from a personal perspective, if that's where your head is at, You need a psychiatric "tune-up, from the neck up." I'd venture to suggest that something's drastically wrong in your life, and being in the military is a very wrong place to be in that condition.
You mentioned "other than a Chaplain", but frankly, that's not a bad place to start. You're a family man, and this, of all holidays, is a family holiday. Ruining your career is small potatoes compared to ruining your family. Holidays are benchmarks in later life as you look back at what were you doing "when". MAN UP (assuming you're a male)

Response by CSM William Everroad made Dec 21 at 2023 4:08 PM

2023-12-21T16:08:29-05:00

Lots of great advice and resources already here, I echo it all. I hate that you feel you cannot talk to your chain of command.

If I could add, once you get your feet firmly planted, examine if you are comfortable talking to your chain of command's bosses (BN or above). I would seriously want to know if one of my 1SGs is creating a culture where Soldiers suffering from BH/MH complications cannot talk to them about it and I know every single one of my CDRs would too. We all have open door policies.