Posted on Jul 14, 2016
I have a coworker with direct knowledge of a Military spouse cheating on her husband. What action, if any, should he take?
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I agree with others - go to the Chaplain - even if you are not a military member - tell them what you know and what you have evidence to prove. They will then talk to the parties involved, the chain of command for those involved. As other said - there is the other spouse, children and brothers/sisters in arms involved in this as well. What happens, if you don't say anything and it comes out - the wrong party gets a gun - kills the cheating parties, kids and comes on to the base to kill the military cheater and ends up killing other service members that were just at work that day. Do you want to live with the thought that you could have done something if you would have just spoke up? Please don't just turn a blind eye to these types of things - we need to have each others "backs" in good and bad times. If we won't look out for each other - why should we think that the big wigs in DC are going to look out for us. I'm getting off of my soap box now.
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To be honest with you the coworker should take no action. The only action to take in this situation would be for him to mind his own business. This particular situation is a sensitive situation that could have a negative outcome for all involved including the good coworker who decided to tell. People have to realize people get killed every day for no reason because other people decide not to mind their business. At some point a cheater will slip up and the partner will find out on their own........
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1SG (Join to see)
I AGREE, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS UNLESS YOU KNOW THAT THE CO WORKER KNOWS ABOUT IT AND YOU NOTICE THAT THE CO WORKER IS ACTING UNCHARACTERISTICALLY STRANGE, SUCH AS DISTANCING HIMSELF FROM EVERYONE, EASILY ANNOYED, LOOK OF ANGER, DEPRESSED OR FRUSTRATION, LEAVE HIM BE. HOWEVER IF YOU NOTICE THESE BEHAVIORS IN YOUR CO WORKER THE FIRST THING YOU WANT TO DO IS ASK YOUR CO WORKER IF EVERTHING IS OK WITH HIM, IF HE CHOOSES TO TALK ABOUT IT LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU CONFIDE IN HIS SITUATION AND THAT AS A FRIEND YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE A POSITIVE OUT COME FOR HIM AS IT RELATE TO HIS SITUATION FOR THE SAKE OF HIS FAMILY AND HIS MILITARY CAREER. ON THE OTHER HAND, IF HE DOESENT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT AND AS I SAID, IF YOU NOTICE THESE NEGATIVE SIGNS OF BEHAVIOR, THEN WHAT YOU WANT TO DO FOR HIS OWN GOOD AND FOR THE GOOD OF HIS FAMILY YOU WANT TO BRING IT TO THE ATTENTION OF YOUR CHAIN OF COMMAND AS WELL AS THE CHAPLAIN SO THAT YOUR BATTLE BUDDY DOESENT SPIRAL OUT OF CONTROL, AT THAT POINT YOU HAVE DONE YOUR JOB BUT MAKE SURE THAT YOU MAKE IT CLEAR TO YOUR CHAIN AND YOUR CHAPLAIN THAT YOU WANT TO REMAIN ANONYMOUSLY. THATS MY ADVICE. RETIRED MSG.BATTLES14Z HUUUUA!!!
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Tell the cheating spouse you know what's going on. He/she has this one chance to end it and be the best spouse ever, or you will tell the other. It will do no good for the one that got cheated on to know it. If the cheating spouse really loves the their spouse, all will be good and they will have to live with what they did. And you will always be watching, in your buddies best interest.
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How about mind their own business. In serious note that coworker could talk to that spouse about his or her extracurricular activities if they are friends besides that I do not think it is his or her place to outing anyone if that doesn't concerns him or her.
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Chaplain is your best bet. Something has to be said, but how you choose to act is delicate. The chaplaincy is best equipped to handle it. Also there is a need to back up such a claim. Some sort of proof, like a picture of the two on a date or witnesses of a kiss an such.
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Don't be the one doing it. Interfering in someone's marriage is touchy at best. You don't know their arrangements. Things could going south in a heartbeat and if could be you going down in flames.
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