How would you, as a leader, address a Service Member with gender identity issues?

2015-06-01T22:03:23-04:00

In light of the recent publicity of Ms. Caitlyn Jenner, you now have a Service Member under you who has been battling similar gender issues. Service Member confides in you, and would like to discuss what could be made available to them- note Chelsea Manning as well.

How would you handle this? Having a more open-minded view about a topic like this, I'm curious as to how the more conservative leaders would approach this.

Response by SGT Anthony Bussing made Jun 1 at 2015 10:04 PM

2015-06-01T22:04:36-04:00

to be true their self....but because of their issue...it still does not relieve them from doing their job to the best of their ability.

Response by MAJ Bryan Zeski made Jun 1 at 2015 10:06 PM

2015-06-01T22:06:31-04:00

I would recommend that they also seek out professional/medical counseling to find out what options they might have.

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 1 at 2015 10:10 PM

2015-06-01T22:10:49-04:00

SSG Private RallyPoint Member. I would urge them to work with their family, friends, clergy, and therapists . . . try to find some way . . . any other way . . . to resolve their issues . . . and I'd tell them in no uncertain terms about the many charlatans, quacks, and worse who will be very happy to take their confidence, faith, and money . . . and ultimately abandon them to suicide. I would not treat this as a matter of political correctness . . . this is a life and death emergency. Sandy

p.s. For every transsexual "star" I can assure you there are dozens on dozens of total disasters.

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 1 at 2015 10:46 PM

2015-06-01T22:46:18-04:00

I would inquire as to their support network, to ensure that no one, no service member, walks alone. At this time, correct me if I am wrong, I don't believe it is possible to make any sort of MTF or FTM transition while being in the military, so unfortunately, if they choose to serve they choose to accept those regulations. I would encourage honorable service if they do wish to stay, or if not, I would hold them to the same standards as they complete their service. Ultimately, it does us no good to have someone in the military who doesn't want to be there, but they took the oath like anyone else. What someone does on their personal time is their business, as long as they are not hurting themselves or others. Again, my primary concern would be to ensure that this member has support and does not feel so isolated that we run the risk of losing them to suicide.

Response by MSgt Keith Hebert made Jun 1 at 2015 11:41 PM

2015-06-01T23:41:04-04:00

Wow, very hard question.
I would like to think that I would be able to give them the support and resources they need,and also explain the options they have.
But I have never been in that situation, so I can only guess and hope I would do the right thing

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 2 at 2015 12:20 AM

2015-06-02T00:20:57-04:00

SSG Private RallyPoint Member I would offer to them to talk with your unit PA or Doctor to help them understand what exactly they might be seeking medically. I would also help them talk with the Chaplain and a Head Doctor (Psychologist or Psychiatrist, I am not sure which one is the best, I get them confused).

Above all, I would make sure I was supportive in the discussion about their choice, regardless of my personal beliefs one way or the other. Simply provide them the tools they need to make the correct decision and go from there.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 2 at 2015 2:57 AM

2015-06-02T02:57:57-04:00

I would give them all the support available to. However I would not suggest anything unless I'm recommending service agencies such as Chaplain, medical facility, behavioral health e.t.c. Tough topic that I'm not willing to lose my career over.

Response by SSG Daniel Deiler made Jun 2 at 2015 6:10 AM

2015-06-02T06:10:44-04:00

I simply wouldn't address it period. That's a personal matter in my opinion. However, if that Soldier were having depression, anxiety or any other medical condition I would refer them to a mental health professional just as I would any other Soldier.

Response by LTC Bink Romanick made Jun 2 at 2015 6:16 AM

2015-06-02T06:16:28-04:00

I would direct that SM to professionals more suited to dealing with those problems than I.

Response by PO3 David Fries made Jun 2 at 2015 6:31 AM

2015-06-02T06:31:15-04:00

As being usually the first person that my Marines turned to when dealing with anything that could possibly be construed as medical, even I would have an issue with this one. I would probably advise them to skip the Battalion Surgeon and go straight whichever closest medical center provided psychological services. This person is going to have a long, hard road and is going to need advice and counceling that I just wouldn't be able to give.

Response by Sgt Aaron Kennedy, MS made Jun 2 at 2015 6:46 AM

2015-06-02T06:46:48-04:00

As leaders, we're often forced into situations we either don't understand, or are ill-equipped to deal with. That said, the strength of the service is the readily available "brain trust." You don't have to be an expert on everything. No one expects you to be. Knowing where to find information, or who might have it is a far more valuable skill.

Simply put, a situation like this is well outside of my level of expertise, and should immediately be escalated to someone more qualified. My first thought is the Chaplain. In the USMC we have them at the BN level. They usually have an open door policy, or at least easy to make appointments.

Don't get wrong, I'd listen to the SM, but I have to escalate, because there are rules. Just like there were rules during the DADT era. Failure to report creates complicity. However using the Chaplain fulfills that requirement.

Basically take them down, sit down, explain the situation (fulfilling the reporting obligation), and then excuse myself so they can talk. Afterwards, follow up with the SM & Chaplain, and find out if they need anything else from me.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 2 at 2015 8:23 AM

2015-06-02T08:23:58-04:00

Remind the soldier that, at the moment, if they want gender-reassignment surgery that the military considers that grounds for dismissal from service. If they are being psychologically hampered by their current state, tell them to consider toughing it out to the end of their enlistment and using the money to save for their eventual transformation.

If they are not interested in the surgery, let them know that they are free to dress as the please and act as they please when off-duty, but that the usual standards of conduct apply and that there may be negative reaction from their peers. I wouldn't tolerate mistreatment of them because of any gender issue, but a rule enforced tomorrow morning is poor salve to a punch in the face the previous night.

I'd also ask if they felt this way before joining the military, and if so, what were their intentions in joining if they knew ahead of time?

Response by SGT Racie Hutchens made Jun 2 at 2015 9:29 AM

2015-06-02T09:29:12-04:00

I know I'm in the minority with this one because for me, personally I don't care! If your here to serve and you can do it in a professional manor I don't care which side your fly zips up! Now that being said I mean professional I will address you by rank i.e. Pvt, SGT, LT, doesn't matter what matters to me is the job. I know the guys in line units feel differently but if that's the case then a male with female gender issue shouldn't be assigned to a line unit. Not because of unit cohesion, but simply because their are no females in combat based infantry roles, period. So then that service member needs to change not only gender but their MOS, and if the position isn't available due to down sizing that's the risk they take,.. Ok now I'm jumping off this soap box and passing off the mike lol!

Response by SSgt Charles Edwards made Jun 2 at 2015 10:01 AM

2015-06-02T10:01:24-04:00

It wasn't too long ago that homosexuals were allowed to serve openly. That took awhile. I can't imagine the military even considering allowing any service member to undergo a transformation of genders while enlisted. That being said, the front-line supervisors may want to address the issue with the unit First Sergeant and/or Commander and have that individual talk with a counselor. I just don't think the military ranks are ready for transgendered troops.

Response by SGT Anthony Rossi made Jun 2 at 2015 10:17 AM

2015-06-02T10:17:52-04:00

The first thing we would have to establish it is "not" the responsability of the (tax payer) military to cover any possible future surgeries, and then if a soldier went through with it the VA should be relieved of covering any issues mental / physical from any surgeries that were performed.

After that was established I believe the individual should be counseled with respect and dignity, but they will continue to be treated as the person they enlisted as whether male and female regardless of how they feel.

Response by SGT Kevin Brown made Jun 2 at 2015 10:18 AM

2015-06-02T10:18:40-04:00

Before answering you question I'd really like to weigh in on your response to your own question.

I hear or read people saying all to often, they are "open-minded", without actually understanding what that means. I am not saying you don't understand the use of the these words SSG McCarthy, but open mindedness does not mean accepting a particular liberal view on a topic (such as transgender, homosexuality, abortion and so on), it means having your own view and respecting all other views on the same topic, even those that oppose your own. By respecting the other view point and holding constructive conversation in regards, one exercises true open mindedness. All to often people try to use this term as a position or an end all to an argument ("your just not open minded"), no different then generalizing, assuming or using other non-logical statements to support an argument.

Now with that out of the way. If a SM came to me and told me they where suffering from gender identity I would direct them to see a mental health professional. Since gender identity issues is a disorder covered under mental health (http://www.ifge.org/302.85_Gender_Identity_Disorder_in_Adolescents_or_Adults), and since I am not a professional in that area, I would send them to someone who is.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 2 at 2015 11:46 AM

2015-06-02T11:46:39-04:00

As someone who regularly is contacted for help by SM's who identify as LGBTQ+, I would highly recommend the first thing is to demonstrate and verbalize to them that you value their integrity for bringing up their struggle to you. This is one of the most crucial points for individuals who "come out" or are battling gender identity. (Studies show that they are 8x more likely to be suicidal at this phase of their journey.) Second, tell them that some of the best confidential care will come from a trained individual and that you will help them begin that process. Military OneSource (http://www.militaryonesource.mil) is an excellent, free way for them to begin the conversation that needs to occur. They will ask a brief series of questions to link the SM with a licensed counselor who specializes in that category. Third, I would be very cautious about involving a Chaplain. My experience is that it presents more hurdles later on rather than help since many Chaplains do not have specialized training in this arena and there are very few religious faiths that are understanding/accepting. It is not a discussion about surgeries, tax dollars, or ethics. It is about helping a SM serve with honor, courage, respect, and integrity. If they want to pursue their journey, it may be best for them to serve their term and then pursue what they feel is the next step in their journey. Finally, help them realize that you are not relieving them of their obligation, but rather will help them be the best they can be because they have chosen to serve.

Response by COL Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 2 at 2015 2:15 PM

2015-06-02T14:15:49-04:00

As this is not my area of expertise, I would counsel the soldier that this area is unfamiliar/uncomfortable for me and refer them to appropriate medical/counseling personnel. Although I accept that gender identity is a current topic of interest (Caitlyn/Bruce Jenner and Pvt Manning), I have no professional opinion on the matter. I do have a personal opinion on the matter but it is irrelevant to the discussion at hand.

As a leader, I am gender neutral. My sole focus is performance and fitness for service. I am the same with regard to sexual orientation, country of origin, race, religion and any other method of dividing an organization. Although I believe we have gone over board on the EO Consideration of Others/Sensitivity training, I understand that we cannot hide from our differences. But we cannot let the focus on these differences tear us apart (which I believe it is doing).

Response by CPL Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 2 at 2015 3:21 PM

2015-06-02T15:21:00-04:00

I'm so sorry but when it comes to stuff like this I better not have someone or man in front of me telling me that they want to be a woman. Seriously, all the stuff that we go through just being a woman. I believe seriously that people like that needs attention and a great deal of it at a church or a special care facility who help people out with those types of disorders. Now, on a personal note I would not want to deploy with someone that are having identity issues, if you don't know what sex you are or want to be there could be other underlining issues going on with that person.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 2 at 2015 3:34 PM

2015-06-02T15:34:33-04:00

It's about understanding the persons current phase in their life. This is a secret that has been held inside for a long time. Understanding what has broken them down in their work and personal life to release such a secret is key. Then when you understand the whole picture you can coach them. They may feel so comfortable that they feel they can finally come out and show their true self. A good leader knows their soldiers personally in and out of work. The most important thing is the soldiers wellbeing and if they are mission capable. Going through a sex identity crisis in my oppenion makes the soldier temporally not mission capable. Once they establish or don't establish their new gender they can be reevaluated on mission readiness.

Response by PO2 Robert Cuminale made Jun 2 at 2015 3:37 PM

2015-06-02T15:37:56-04:00

By the time this person comes to you his/her internal conflicts will have caused his/her work to suffer. Lack of attention to duties may prompt you to call the person in for counseling because he/she works directly for you or has been referred in by an NCO directly supervising. That may be the catalyst for coming out. Personally my only issue is if the person feels able to perform his/her assigned duties. If the answer is affirmative then send him/her back to work under close supervision. An entry should be made of the revelation and resolution and the person's immediate supervisor should receive a note of the proceedings.
Should work issues persist the person should be called in and reminded of his previous commitment to not allow this issue affect his/her work. Another promise to do better should not be accepted and the person should be referred up to higher leadership along with all notes taken of the encounters.
As NCOs we have a responsibility to all our charges and our mission, We cannot allow one person to detract from those obligations.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 2 at 2015 3:41 PM

2015-06-02T15:41:48-04:00

You know this is one of those issues I have never dealt with and honestly have no clue how too. I would help them seek the help of a person much more qualified than me. I am socially liberal and don't see an issue with it but know it should be dealt with by someone that could help. It is like asking me about your car. I could tell it is broken but I wouldn't know what is wrong with. I would tell you to see a mechanic.

Response by SPC Tyler Daniels made Jun 3 at 2015 4:17 PM

2015-06-03T16:17:06-04:00

With whatever support they need.

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 3 at 2015 4:45 PM

2015-06-03T16:45:12-04:00

I would let them know, male or female, LBGT or not, I am here for them. With the that being said, standards must be upheld.

I would refer them to talk to professionals in the military, and if those professionals didn't help, seek an outside support group. No matter what, I would be there to talk and try to help.

Response by SFC Stephen King made Jun 3 at 2015 5:08 PM

2015-06-03T17:08:41-04:00

I would be open-minded. Probably ask if they need anything and ensure that the personal choice will not become a issue in reference to job performance. Personally, if they are a hard worker and can achieve the mission I am good to go.

Response by SGT Lawrence Corser made Jun 3 at 2015 11:36 PM

2015-06-03T23:36:28-04:00

send them to the metal health people. No one in the military unless they are in the mental health field has any need to deal with this. it is a stresser and could get you in trouble

Response by SGT John Rauch made Jun 4 at 2015 8:22 AM

2015-06-04T08:22:26-04:00

we had an issue like this in our unit. we didnt really deal with it, we were ordered by 1SG not to even talk about it under threat of UCMJ. the guy ended up being chaptered, not because of this, but because he was a complete failure as a soldier. had no military bearing whatsoever.

Response by SGT John Wesley made Jun 4 at 2015 11:52 AM

2015-06-04T11:52:50-04:00

I always used rank and last name, KISS... Don't dramatize this issue...

Response by SPC Samantha Greenlee made Jun 4 at 2015 1:27 PM

2015-06-04T13:27:22-04:00

It is the devils way of pulling them off their path that God has for them. The devil is a liar, and a good one at that. I know one who wanted to change their sex and when they finally started opening up to me, they started to tell me how they do not feel attractive. That their insecurities about their body has made them feel not ‘sexy’ and she wanted to be a male. Its an attack from the devil but you have to look at them with understanding. Be a friend to them and let them open up to you. Don’t shove things down their throat. Let them talk. Get a real picture of what is going on inside. There are insecurities and they have been there for a long time. The devil will lie to you and it has taken a long time of lies to get to this point. Don’t push them any further by not listening.

Response by SFC Michael Peterson made Jun 5 at 2015 11:16 PM

2015-06-05T23:16:47-04:00

It's very simple. If you were born with an X and a Y chromosome and, you have a penis, you're a man. If you were born with two Y chromosomes and a vagina, you're a woman. God made you that way and you can, or should, do about that.

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Jun 5 at 2015 11:19 PM

2015-06-05T23:19:21-04:00

I'd recommend that they join RallyPoint.

Response by PO1 John Miller made Jun 6 at 2015 7:56 AM

2015-06-06T07:56:49-04:00

Here's a question, and it's just a question. Nothing more.

Transgenders want to serve in the military. I get that.

However, why would they subject themselves to all of the negative aspects that have already been mentioned? Until the policy changes, it is what it is and they are unable to follow that policy.

I did know a few transgendered Sailors when I was in, and while I can't say for certain what was going on in their brains, I do know that they were able to keep their private life private, do their job, and act appropriately at work. I.e., dressing as the gender they were assigned at birth.

When I found out they were transgendered I didn't feel any differently about them, and honestly had no idea they were until they told me.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 6 at 2015 9:30 AM

2015-06-06T09:30:43-04:00

Great video about a transgender dual-military couple: https://www.yahoo.com/health/senior-airman-logan-ireland-is-one-of-over-15 [login to see] 92272.html?soc_src=mags&soc_trk=copy

Transgender Troops: At War, in Love, and Fighting to Serve Openly

Senior Airman Logan Ireland is one of over 15,000 transgender troops serving in the US military.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Jun 11 at 2015 5:06 PM

2015-06-11T17:06:32-04:00

I would definetly recommend letting that person see a psychologist as this is a mental and physical condition. One third of transsexuals attempt scuicide.

Response by Maj John Bell made May 5 at 2018 3:58 PM

2018-05-05T15:58:15-04:00

In the absence of Division or Base level assets specifically for this issue; I would tell them that they are outside my wheelhouse and suggest they speak to the Battalion Surgeon. I would also let them know that I, or the senior enlisted SNCO will make inquiries to determine what tailored assets are available on post and get back to them with an update in the next 3-5 days.

Response by CWO3 Private RallyPoint Member made May 5 at 2018 4:43 PM

2018-05-05T16:43:16-04:00

Address them by their rank and name.

Response by SGM Bill Frazer made May 5 at 2018 10:43 PM

2018-05-05T22:43:50-04:00

As far as I know- all that can be done while they are in is to get counseling (Mental and Health) for the issue. Last I heard Army nor other services would foot the bill for any physical changes, and I'm not sure about the hormone shots. Also what about deployment issues?