How to take care of a depressed Sailor who wants out but has 2 years left on contract?

2015-08-22T12:29:51-04:00

I'm worried about one of my Sailors.
This Sailor is good at their job, but is having a really hard time in the military environment.
Over the last year, I've watched them kind of sink into this dark cloud - no longer smiling or joking, just there.
They've made some comments about self harm, and were referred to medical, but nothing really came out of that.
This sailor wants out, but still has about 2 years left (6 year contract), but doesn't want to risk an other than honorable discharge.
Unfortunately I can definitely see this situation gets worse before it gets better.

I'm looking for any resources you know of, or advice on how to help this sailor.

Thanks.

Response by MSgt Curtis Ellis made Aug 22 at 2015 12:45 PM

2015-08-22T12:45:32-04:00

Maybe additional, specialized counseling may be needed, as, by the story, no one seems to know exactly "why" this sailor is feeling the way they do... This has the potential to become bad real quick... Unfortunately, until it's warranted, you can't force the sailor to get help, but you can try to convince them to speak with someone who may be able to assist them deeper than just regular counseling, but again, it has to be their choice.

Response by CH (MAJ) William Beaver made Aug 22 at 2015 12:47 PM

2015-08-22T12:47:33-04:00

Send the Sailor to a Chaplain or BehavioralHealth, or call Military One Source

Response by LT Jessica Kellogg made Aug 22 at 2015 12:50 PM

2015-08-22T12:50:05-04:00

They have come to me asking for help, I just don't know what options are available.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Aug 22 at 2015 1:22 PM

2015-08-22T13:22:13-04:00

While I don't have anything to add because I believe our esteemed colleagues here have given the best of advice already, I just wanted to applaud you LT Jessica Kellogg for recognizing the issue with your sailor and taking the time and concern to follow through on your instincts. That's what leadership is all about.

Response by MAJ Ken Landgren made Aug 22 at 2015 1:35 PM

2015-08-22T13:35:36-04:00

It's time to send them to mental health. I have often told soldiers to start saying what who and what they love to give them some hope.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 22 at 2015 5:15 PM

2015-08-22T17:15:04-04:00

In the Army, we have IRR (Inactice Ready Reserve), that Soldiers can request a hardship transfer into that. Does the Navy have the same thing?

Response by SCPO Joshua I made Aug 22 at 2015 8:02 PM

2015-08-22T20:02:37-04:00

LTJG -- where is your Chief? Your Chief should be thoroughly acquainted with the variety of things that can be done to help the Sailor. Some of them have already been mentioned in this thread, counseling may be appropriate, but often you really need to find out what the problem is to deal with it. Your Chief (or DLCPO, or maybe the CMC) may be better equipped to do that than you will tend to be.

Who is the Sailor's mentor? What are they doing to help? There's a lot that you can't really do because of your position that someone closer to their paygrade may be able to do.

Response by LT Jessica Kellogg made Aug 22 at 2015 8:09 PM

2015-08-22T20:09:09-04:00

Thank you everyone for the suggestions. I appreciate it, and will definitely put this sailor in touch with the people and organizations who may be able to help.

Response by LTJG Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 22 at 2015 9:17 PM

2015-08-22T21:17:39-04:00

Get him/her some counseling and see if that Sailor can be saved. Maybe there are some other factors contributing to the current situation which, if resolved, could take care of everything else and keep a good Sailor in our Navy.

Seeing how they have been in for four years already, it is probably to late to be discharged due to a "failure to adapt".

Response by LCDR Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 23 at 2015 12:21 AM

2015-08-23T00:21:08-04:00

LT Jessica Kellogg first of all I admire your compassion for this Sailor. This is VERY indicative of strong character and good personality.

On to your troubled Sailor. As his/her boss it will be very hard for you to do very much. Someone on a closer level will have to. However even just asking them how they are doing and showing you care goes a very long way. You can also encourage his more immediate boss (senior enlisted) and make sure that you both keep an eye on him. It can be difficult but I've had a similar situation turn into a Sailor reenlisting two more times, so don't lose hope!

Response by CAPT Kevin B. made Aug 23 at 2015 11:13 AM

2015-08-23T11:13:04-04:00

Great ideas but one thing is always too little, too late. That is an evaluation if the salvage costs are worth it vs. degradation of the organization. That needs to be done much sooner as it clarifies the COAs. Pick the optimal one, go for it, and it will work one way or the other. We tend to dive too deep and too long because we care. But that's my former medical life triage thinking weighing in. People tend to go further than they should because they have to live with themselves afterwards. If it doesn't work out, make sure you forgive yourself, and if you can't, get help doing so.

Response by CPO Amb. Terry Earthwind Nichols made Feb 14 at 2017 7:14 AM

2017-02-14T07:14:58-05:00

First of all, BZ for reaching out on behalf of your Sailor. It shows great leadership potential.

Created in 2010 and further developed into it's current model, Repetitive Behavior Cellular Regression™ (CR) stops PTSD, MST, Suicide Ideation, Alcoholism as well as many other repetitive behaviors without counseling or therapy and no office visits.

Here is a white paper I wrote last fall that will give you the information you seek. Also read through the website to gain further information. Then let's talk. I look forward to the conversation with one of such caring and caliber.

http://evolutionaryhealer.com/white-paper-on-repetitive-behavior/

White Paper on Repetitive Behavior Cellular Regression (CR); Successfully Stopping PTSD, MST, and...

22+ Veterans per day take their own lives leaving grieving families and the perpetration of more suicides within the family unit. CR can drop this statistic by 80% or more.

Response by PO3 Frank Gunn made Feb 14 at 2017 9:32 AM

2017-02-14T09:32:32-05:00

I was in the Navy in the late 50's and went through the same thing. At that time the Navy was drafting and calling up reserves for two years. After their two years they were being discharged and I still had two years to go. I was just sick wanting our. My dad had written to the CO and I end up at the Chaplian's office, that didn't help. I was a PO3 and had a LT. that I considered a friend that would talk with me about it. At the time I was under age and he told me I could get out but soon as I turned 17 they would me knocking on my door to come back and finish my time. I am a strong minded person and decided to stay and finish my time and I ended up enjoying the finial two years, found my wife of now 57 years.
In the end it's going to be up to the sailor realize he has an opbligation he needs to finish and forget what he considers bad times and enjoy the rest of his time.
Frank Gunn RM3

Response by PO1 Robert Swafford made Feb 14 at 2017 9:42 AM

2017-02-14T09:42:34-05:00

Your concerns are admirable but if you are talking about a sailor E5 or below, this sailor should have a First Class direct supervisor and Chief that would or should be addressing this. Your sailor, (and I love you have taken ownership of your sailor, not a given today) runs a serious risk of being stigmatized by the referral to medical for psychological evaluation. Unless you operate in some sort of Navy vacuum, shipmates will learn of this and sailors can be cruel.
If someone has made it through four years they can handle another two. The payoff of completing service significantly outweighs any sort of "relief" this sailor might think they will get by leaving a mere two years early.
Unless you are a Mustang, as a LTJG, it is unlikely you have the leadership experience or training to assist this sailor. Unless you are a natural, it takes many years of leadership to be able to determine or sense what motivates, triggers introspection or may help this sailor reach an epiphany.
Please reach out to the Chief's Mess for help.

Response by PO3 Bob Perry made Feb 14 at 2017 9:45 AM

2017-02-14T09:45:05-05:00

"This Sailor is good at their job, but is having a really hard time (but doesn't want to risk an other than honorable discharge) in the military environment. "
1. He is good at his/her job!
- a. Background checks are low cost, ability evaluations are available. Chaplains, on land are sea are very good at immediately evaluating if his/her immediate Senior is with him more than ten minutes a day or if his job is challenging enough for his abilities.
2. Has concern about his job and honor!!!
- a. An immediate evaluation by a duty station Psychiatrist/Psychologist followed by in this professionals judgement possibly a transfer to a different environment helping him serve as we have and continue to in this great "UNITED STATES of AMERICA."

Response by PO3 Bill Dobbins made Feb 14 at 2017 10:55 AM

2017-02-14T10:55:52-05:00

He needs strength and hope for each new day. See if you can find out what he/she loves to do and see if that can be worked into his duties.

Response by SCPO Larry Knight Sr. made Feb 14 at 2017 5:35 PM

2017-02-14T17:35:17-05:00

LTJG Jessica Kellogg,I not only tip my hat to you, but you deserve a "Bravo Zulu " for your immediate actions. I have intervened with many sailors and marines while serving aboard forces afloat unit's. It's our responsibility as mentors and leaders for those assigned under us, to mold them into the future leaders who'll follow our lead. Grab your LPO and LCPO respectively and give them a opportunity, to guide this young bluejacket in the right direction. Follow up with them daily on his/her progress in overcoming their specific issues and maybe we can salvage this youngster. Just don't let yourself get to deeply involved should it turn out not a successful outcome. I'm amazed that the medical department didn't take this on board more effectively. I distinctly remember a situation with a young recruit, who attempted to hang himself in an unoccupied barracks. Do to the due diligence of a watch standard, we were able to save a tragic end of a young life. We had a outstanding medical department at RTC San Diego CA, when I was a Company Commander 79/82. Again to your quick response in recognizing a potential for a suicide, I applaud you and would like to know the outcome.

Response by PO1 Carol Hestand made Feb 15 at 2017 11:11 AM

2017-02-15T11:11:07-05:00

I agree with the remarks about reaching out to their enlisted chain. The biggest issue is discovering what is triggering the depression. Medical, situational, homesick, breakup and so forth. The last thing anyone wants to do is lose their military investment by getting a bad discharge. The grass is NOT greener on the other side with a General/OTH or big chicken dinner.