How to tactfully address a social media concern: Your thoughts?

SPC Lukas Jones — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 00:34:42 -0500

This is a personal question but one that has been weighing on me a lot. I do NOT want this post to get off topic. I will notify an admin and have the comments removed. I asking the military community in hopes that someone with onsite or personal experience can help mentor me on this... Ok here goes...

My brother is 4 years older than me. He is a civilian who works as a union electrician. His wife is a prominent employee at Google and they have one child together whom I just adore. My brother and I have very opposite political views but tend to cordially disagree or allow each other their opinion.

Recently, I posted a CNN Article about Ben Carson "proving sexuality is a choice" but watching his video, he throws a very invalid argument regarding sexuality with a highly irrelivent analogy about prisoners (Linked at the end of this). I posted it and expressed my dismay over how he could possibly consider this a valid argument. My brother commented on it in a very particular way that just rubbed me wrong. The thread turned into a political bashing supported by some of my other friends (soldiers I served with in other units) and I have yet to comment as I don't want to take on that fight (yet). Basically, how do I tell him to not utilize my page as a platform for his political ideologies and to respect my right to voice my own but without potentially causing friction on our relationship?

I currently live in Oregon and drive to California each month for drill and since LIK does not afford me a hotel room Sunday night before I must return home, he has been offering me his guest room when I am down which also allows me to see him, my nephew, and sister in law. Our childhood was riddled with fights and disharmony between us for reasons I won't go into on here, and it has taken a long time to repair our relationship and I don't want this to be another schism between us, but I also don't want him to plaster his beliefs into my page. Until now, most all of the posts have been kept on our respective walls. I allow him his posts and he, in turn, has tolerated mine.

Response by SPC Lukas Jones made Mar 5 at 2015 12:37 AM

SPC Lukas Jones — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 00:37:31 -0500

Here is the link. Forgot to post it up.

http://www.cnn.com/2015/03/04/politics/ben-carson-prisons-gay-choice/index.html?sr=fb030415bencarsongaycomments7aVODtopvideo

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 5 at 2015 12:45 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 00:45:36 -0500

You are both adults and the only way to resolve something like this is to say something directly.

Key thing both of you need to remember is that you are Family First!

Life is too short for holding things in and allowing different views to separate y'all.

Response by CSM Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 5 at 2015 3:52 AM

CSM Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 03:52:00 -0500

Not that long ago there use to be an unwritten rule between Soldiers in the field. In group settings we never discussed politics and religion, everything else was fair game. Well with social media so much for that huh? Just look at the nonsense that happens on this site.

My advice is that if you and your brother cannot agree to disagree, you keep your opinions to yourself including your social media sites. I am pretty much the last surviving member of my family, you should never let anything drive a wedge between you and your family. Most of the crap is meaningless and not worth the effort and, definitely not worth the aftermath.

Response by SGT Deborah Grubbs made Mar 5 at 2015 3:59 AM

SGT Deborah Grubbs — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 03:59:36 -0500

Ask him politely, when you can get his full attention, to please not post your opinion on _______ while we still disagree and can we agree to disagree??? Thanks, bro, love ya! ... Simple!

Response by MCPO Douglas Pennington made Mar 5 at 2015 7:49 AM

MCPO Douglas Pennington — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 07:49:54 -0500

You will just have to come out and tell him. Each has his/her own opinion and certain things and he has to understand that your opinion is that "yours". Retaliation or hate comments should never be introduced to peoples blogs. These are your opinions. The problem with Social Media is that everyone thinks that they can slam and there are no consequences. Take what Curt Schilling did when twitter folks went crazy about his daughters scholorship. That is a good thing that he is pursuing it. There is no room on Social Media for jerks that just want to spool someone up.

Sorry i got carried away. You really need to pull him aside and just talk to him and tell him that you didn't appreciate what he did. I seriously doubt he will keep you from spending that night at his place. Family is much more important.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 5 at 2015 8:21 AM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 08:21:48 -0500

I do not have FB...I have never had it...but as far as your brother goes...keep the lines of communication open...you are family...

Response by HN Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 5 at 2015 8:28 AM

HN Private RallyPoint Member — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 08:28:08 -0500

As bad as this sounds...WHO CARES. Listen i can get that you and your brother don't get along to great but he's your family. There isn't a way to resolve it. Both of you need to have a sit-down have a nice lengthy debate over a beer or two see each others views and accept each others opinion. Family is the most important thing in your life. I was given up by my parents at the age of 4. i was lucky enough to be adopted at that age. Sadly 4 years later my mother passed from cancer that she had been fighting. Then i got to go live with my dad and his new wife and they were both very physically and emotionally abusive. Out of my close to 50 family members i used to have i only have 4 now. I have no family except for a set of grandparents and an aunt and uncle. Family is whats important not political views.

Good luck and i hope you and your brother can get passed this issue

Response by COL Jean (John) F. B. made Mar 5 at 2015 3:42 PM

COL Jean (John) F. B. — Thu, 05 Mar 2015 15:42:27 -0500

The best way is to simply tell him what is on your mind. Nothing else is really effective.

The root cause of this particular issue is that you posted something of a political nature (both because of the person it was about and the subject). As such, you should not be surprised if you received comments of a political nature that you might not agree with. When you post things on social media site, one should anticipate a response. It is not simply a one-way thing. If you do not want your page to be used for somebody else's political platform, don't use it for yours.