How should I deal with a leadership that says one thing then says she doesn't remember saying it or never said it?

2020-03-20T04:43:07-04:00

I have been struggling on how to deal with our detachment nco/1SG to the point that I started questioning myself if I am crazy and that maybe I am really a liar. I am trying to gain my credibility back because I already had an article 15 for lying to an NCO. The latest incident I had with her is when we had random conversation twice regarding my extra duty, she asked in both conversations how my extra duty is going and then told me that it's ending on Monday, March 16th. In one conversation she even told me to go to our S1 on Tuesday or Wednesday to let her know that my duty is done so she can lift my flag so I did. After our S1 talked to her to verify, she called me and asked me what did I say to our s1. I then said that I told our S1 that my extra duty is done. She said "No, it's not done until 23rd" Confused, I asked what about the conversation we had last time, she then said that she doesn't remember having that conversation. I am fine doing more extra duty but making it look like I am a liar again is what bothers me. This is not the first time that it happened. I know that I should start documenting everything but I always forget to because I usually have those random conversation outside our unit.

Response by CSM Darieus ZaGara made Mar 20 at 2020 5:42 AM

2020-03-20T05:42:40-04:00

The date of your extra duty should be in writing on your AR 15. There can be no dispute. As for process, it should not have been you, the punished who briefs S1 on anything to do with your flag, it must be the Company leadership. If you knew the date was wrong and went to S1 because the 1SG mis-spoke that was an ill fated process to begin with. Something is off with the entire picture. Having said this, I find it good practice to to repeat what someone asks of me, gaining confirmation of what I heard.

Response by MSG Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 20 at 2020 9:48 AM

2020-03-20T09:48:13-04:00

When did your Extra Duty actually start? When was it assigned?

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 20 at 2020 9:49 AM

2020-03-20T09:49:55-04:00

SPC Private RallyPoint Member I have been re-reading 'Boyd' and there is a part in there where he deals w/ leadership exactly like this. His solution was to have said leadership put anything in to writing if they were giving orders - whether to start a duty/project or an end date for a duty/project. Granted, most leaders that only do things via word of mouth HATE to put their words down on paper, but its the ultimate CYA process.
I would say you should, respectfully, request everything be written, or emailed to you, before accepting. You can even phrase it to where you are simply trying to make sure you "don't find yourself lying to an NCO again"...if you catch my drift.

Response by PFC Donnie Harold Harris made Mar 20 at 2020 11:50 AM

2020-03-20T11:50:36-04:00

This is a case of sexual harassment on a high tone emotion level. There is plenty of examples around. It is your game. Play as you will. Master sex advisory council 1953 Adition.

Response by CPT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 20 at 2020 4:12 PM

2020-03-20T16:12:11-04:00

When I have run into situations like this in the past, I make sure that I only communicate via text or email so that there is verification of any conversations. If I had a conversation in-person with a Soldier like this, I would write an email with everything we spoke about and ask for acknowledgement or verification. You will always have proof and documentation of everything this way without having to call a superior a liar or making it seem like they tricked you.

Response by Lt Col Jim Coe made Mar 20 at 2020 7:05 PM

2020-03-20T19:05:52-04:00

I agree with all in this string who say to get direction or orders in writing. Paper, e-mail or maybe text. Be respectful about it and don’t refuse to obey a lawful order. In any operational situation just do it and complain later.

Response by SGT Private RallyPoint Member made Mar 21 at 2020 1:46 PM

2020-03-21T13:46:47-04:00

Don’t have random conversations. Make an appointment with her and bring your 1st line supervisor with you.