How much of our lives should we credit to our personal decisions, and how much is just the inheritance of our culture and families?

SSG Stephan Pendarvis — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 11:44:50 -0400

Response by Capt Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 7 at 2016 11:47 AM

Capt Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 11:47:36 -0400

Life is your personal decisions. Yes, they may be influenced by culture and family, but in the end you decide what is right and wrong.

Response by CPT Jack Durish made Aug 7 at 2016 11:55 AM

CPT Jack Durish — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 11:55:32 -0400

Humans are neither wholly rational nor wholly emotional. They are neither the sole product of nature nor nurture. Our culture and families as well as our world, nation, and communities, set obstacles and opportunities in our path which we choose to avoid or confront. And if you think you've got that all figured out, throw in chaos theory (chance) for good measure. Good luck making sense of it all.

Response by MSG Pat Colby made Aug 7 at 2016 12:04 PM

MSG Pat Colby — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 12:04:19 -0400

Good question!

I was the product of a broken home. Mom and Dad got divorced when I was 1. At the age of 10, my Mom committed suicide. 5 Sisters and one Brother. Lived in the projects for many years. Bounced around within my family year to year. Only went to the same school from 3rd to 4th grade. I was always the new kid in school EVERY year so I hated it. If you would have conducted a poll concerning my siblings as we were growing up, I would have been voted "Most Likely to end up in Prison". Each of my Sisters have had multiple divorces and none of them personally raised their kids to HS graduation. Now I'm the most stable one of the entire crew. (scary I know...)

I broke that cycle based on my decisions. I personally witnessed and lived how NOT to raise a family. Sure I've made some mistakes in my life but I overcame the odds. I raised all three of my kids and am still married going on 29 years. Retired with a full pension at the age of 42. Currently living as far away from a city as possible because I hate being in densely populated areas. Too much crime and bullshit to deal with.

Response by Col Rebecca Lorraine made Aug 7 at 2016 12:53 PM

Col Rebecca Lorraine — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 12:53:02 -0400

Really good question. We are really such a mix of genetics, socialization by family and friends, opportunity, luck and destiny. A mix of equal parts and you've got the life you were born to live how you choose. The decisions you make and your dreams decide a bunch, but some people get a crap hand and some get challenges they never can overcome. But some people, despite physical handicaps, poverty, and multiple misfortunes, become leaders, and live happy, satisfying lives.

Response by CPT Joseph K Murdock made Aug 7 at 2016 1:22 PM

CPT Joseph K Murdock — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 13:22:19 -0400

I cant afford to send all 6 to college but I can help, and my children understand the importance of schools. My wife and I put the academic seeds in my children's minds.

Response by MCPO Roger Collins made Aug 7 at 2016 1:25 PM

MCPO Roger Collins — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 13:25:55 -0400

Mostly personal decisions, with a lot of influence due to culture and families.

Response by SFC John Trujillo made Aug 7 at 2016 1:39 PM

SFC John Trujillo — Sun, 07 Aug 2016 13:39:26 -0400

If you decide it is because of your inheritance of your culture and families, you have just made a decision to do nothing.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Aug 8 at 2016 7:54 PM

SFC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 08 Aug 2016 19:54:42 -0400

I feel as we develop into who we are as individuals, the values we learn or didn't learn from our families, whatever that may consist of or who we have bonded to in that representative form, holds a fundamental access point for our personal desires and character.

Once we start to access our own inner and outer sources of decision making, or lack thereof, our judgments or expectations of outcomes are greatly influenced by our past events or knowledge. We (in general) use the words "should", "would" or "could" as restrictive connections to expected methods of coming to a conclusion or regretting a decision that we have made. I tend to refrain for using such words because I believe in the vibrational force our words have over our existence and how we use the words to describe our essence within the Universe.

So credit who and what we may- at the end of the day, I think it is really just about owning who you are despite and regardless of fundamental guidelines.

Response by SPC Amy Phillips made Aug 9 at 2016 9:33 AM

SPC Amy Phillips — Tue, 09 Aug 2016 09:33:47 -0400

Our family consists of a bunch of goofball, and we have this saying, "I learned it by watching you!"

As a child or young adult, the percentage weighs more on the side of inheritance, but as we get older, we are capable of changing even that which we inherited because we understand more than ever the consequences of our actions.

For example, I had a biological father who wanted to have nothing to do with me, and a step father who was meaner than mean. Years later I took this ugliness with me because that's all I knew.
I often apologize to my oldest who will be 17 soon. I tell him that he was the experimental child because I had no idea how to mother correctly. I had just taken was I learned or inherited and brought it into our relationship.
5 kids later though, I'm not the way I used to be. A conscience decision and effort to want to change is reason. But I can't take all the credit...having the Lord in your life is a life changing experience.
We learn how to love because we know God and God is love. Those who don't know God, don't know love.

This truth is evident when I look at my husband the the home he grew up in. 10x worse than mine. But he loves me with amazing love and is the best daddy to our kids and there is only one way that this is even remotely possible. That he gave his life to the Lord and has learned how to love