How involved should an NCO or Officer get when Soldiers are making big life changing decisions?

SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 03 Jun 2014 08:28:07 -0400

If you have a Soldier getting married, buying a house or car, or expanding their family how involved do you get. Financial counseling is very important and shoud be passed on to Soldiers that don't know as much but when is it overstepping?

Response by MSG Wade Huffman made Jun 3 at 2014 8:34 AM

MSG Wade Huffman — Tue, 03 Jun 2014 08:34:52 -0400

I would say as long as the solder is receptive to receiving the advise, continue on or refer as necessary (don't overstep your own knowledge base). Beyond that, there is no way you can force advise on anyone. Just let them know you're willing to help as much as necessary or to get them to the proper source if it's outside of your level of knowledge.

Response by CMSgt James Nolan made Jun 23 at 2014 9:22 AM

CMSgt James Nolan — Mon, 23 Jun 2014 09:22:21 -0400

Back when I went in the Corps, there was a rule that if you wanted to get married as an enlisted man, you were to seek permission of the CO. I did not follow that rule, because I had been in for 5 1/2 years and knew everything, all you had to do was ask!

Now years later and a SNCO, I can tell you that I do not insert myself into the personal lives, but avail myself to my guys for advice if they want it.

For example- you cannot speak to the difficulties of marriage and divorce until you have lived them. It is much easier to provide career advice when you have made mistakes and survived them.

NCOs should be available to their troops for life advice, the troops can either take it or not. IF the NCO is squared away, in service and life, the troops will be much more willing to heed advice.

If I as an NCO am all jacked up, I should not expect my troops to look at me as an example.

Response by SSgt Robert Clark made Jun 23 at 2014 9:56 AM

SSgt Robert Clark — Mon, 23 Jun 2014 09:56:04 -0400

I would say that as long as they are receptive then NCO's or Officer's should give advice. It's part of being a leader, but I don't believe advice should be forced for non military/duty decisions, sometimes we have to make mistakes and learn from them.

Response by SPC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 23 at 2014 11:57 AM

SPC Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2014 11:57:01 -0400

Well they should only get involved when they fell the need to interject, if only there is a probability of risk. Now if you think the junior solider may have some questionable reasoning behind what ever the solider was doing there's one other reason. Other than that there should be no reason to interject with his choices, unless the solider comes to you for advice during or before. The open door policy and well rounded and respected nco support chain is needed to prevent simple mistakes. I am not just talking about a few open minded NCO's or SNCO's that say they can talk, but squared away, knowledgeable and trained. Someone the soldiers think they can follow as a mentor not just in the military world but int eh civilian world as well.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 23 at 2014 7:54 PM

1SG Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2014 19:54:21 -0400

Honestly it depends on the observed level of maturity and competence of the individual Soldier. A leader can only give advice, you can not force a Soldier to listen to it. If they make a choice and it causes them to violate UCMJ (indebtedness for my scenario below) then you have a way to prove that you as a leader did what you could to protect the Soldier from being in that situation.

I have had Soldiers that wanted to buy cars that I knew would be problems in the future. I recommended that they attend financial management class offered at ACS and about 95% of them did so. Of that 95% that went, probably about 60% of them decidied against their decision to buy a brand new $40K car because "that's what everyone else is doing".

Response by 1LT Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 23 at 2014 7:54 PM

1LT Private RallyPoint Member — Mon, 23 Jun 2014 19:54:40 -0400

I believe you have to separate your professional position and advice from your personal position and advice. I have on rare occasion, expressed my concerns about a specific marriage or other major personal life changing decision to a colleague. But, this was never in any official capacity.

Response by LTC Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 24 at 2014 7:38 AM

LTC Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 24 Jun 2014 07:38:19 -0400

First of all I don't believe in getting into personal decisions of Soldiers unless they ask. Many times I have Soldiers making decisions that I know aren't going to be beneficial. And that is my opinion. To answer the question, if you are approached most definately. If you inject because of opinion then your crossing the line.

Response by PV2 Private RallyPoint Member made Jun 24 at 2014 8:13 AM

PV2 Private RallyPoint Member — Tue, 24 Jun 2014 08:13:51 -0400

Honestly as a PV2 I believe that the SGTs or COs should help as much as the soldier wants or needs the help, my SGT has helped myself and other soldiers with numberous things like getting our families here to Fort Riley, helping us make sound decisions on large financial decisions, and in my case helping me find a marriage counselor for my wife and I so In my opininon the CO or SGTs involved could help as much as the idividual needing it wants or needs in some cases

Response by SGT Suraj Dave made Aug 12 at 2014 2:26 AM

SGT Suraj Dave — Tue, 12 Aug 2014 02:26:18 -0400

Depends on the soldier. I was very responsible, no one ever bothered me because they knew I wasn't stupid enough to make a major life decision without thinking it through.

On the other hand, I did once have an 18 year old PV2 in my platoon (wasn't my soldier thank God) who was dumb enough to walk by himself across from gate 4 at ft Campbell to the "E1 and up instantly approved" car dealership. He bought a 2012 Jetta (it was 2012 at the time). He was incredibly broke, knocking on peoples barracks door's in the unit asking for money or food. (he had a meal card but refused to eat at the difac because it was "dirty"). Then he ended up marrying this other female soldier who was 10 years older then him who already had 2 kids. I don't want to keep going because his decisions got progressively dumber and dumber, to the point where his end of tour award was a COA. That is the kind of soldier who need's an NCO to make life decisions for him.

Response by SSG Private RallyPoint Member made Nov 2 at 2014 1:45 PM

SSG Private RallyPoint Member — Sun, 02 Nov 2014 13:45:10 -0500

It depends on the soldier; you shouldn't force yourself on any soldier. Offer the advice, speak thru peers and sub- leaders and be ready to pick up the pieces when they fall.