How important are our spouses and how do they affect mission accomplishment?

2014-12-15T07:48:55-05:00

In my experience, it is important to have a solid family life. Having a spouse that is open minded and flexible is key to my overall success. I don't feel like the military truly honors our spouses as much as they should. The old adage "if the military wanted you to have a spouse, they would have issued you one." Is a saying that I have always despised. How important do you feel our spouses are in the overall success to our mission?

Response by CW5 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 8:24 AM

2014-12-15T08:24:18-05:00

They're unsung heroes, in my humble opinion.

Response by SFC Dr. Joseph Finck, BS, MA, DSS made Dec 15 at 2014 8:25 AM

2014-12-15T08:25:37-05:00

SMSgt Private RallyPoint Member Military spouses are the glue which holds the military families together. As CW5 Private RallyPoint Member said, unsung heroes.

Response by SGT(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 9:30 AM

2014-12-15T09:30:08-05:00

As I said earlier, I'm 100% sure that if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here. She helped me since I brought the idea of joining, being more than 40lbs above the max weight, she started running with me, she supported and motivated me to do more and to accomplish more. Being honest, she was tougher with me in my route to BCT than the DS themselves. I call her my Home Commander because she is the one who keep me wanting to do more every single day.

Response by LT Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 9:45 AM

2014-12-15T09:45:43-05:00

MSgt McDow,
I agree the importance of spousal/family support is critical to the service member. My husband does nothing but support me and I'm extremely fortunate for this. We just had a change of command which I organized and my husband was there serving cake (just one example). If you don't have family support, it can weigh on a service member immensely.
Regards,
ENS Heidi Ann Hinrichs

Response by CSM Michael J. Uhlig made Dec 15 at 2014 11:27 AM

2014-12-15T11:27:41-05:00

The military spouse is very important and often keep us grounded in our values.

I can share stories of many deployments and the peace of mind knowing she was there with OUR best intrest in mind - our best intrest meaning not only mine and hers, but our platoon/company/BN/BDE best interest in mind.

When we first married, I deployed the morning after our wedding, we were on DRF, she didn't even have an ID card yet and I still deployed! They keep us reminded of the issues military families might be facing (especially our younger families) as well as keeping us grounded in basic family values. Our military spouses are very important and I am very greatful for mine!

Response by SSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 11:40 AM

2014-12-15T11:40:06-05:00

Women are behind the scene heroes and I know that term is thrown around here a lot but in this case it is absolutely true and vitally important that women know that. And the children it goes without saying, that they are special in their own way.

Response by SFC Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 12:10 PM

2014-12-15T12:10:18-05:00

I think that a supportive spouse is important but I have had some really bad times and still kept the quality of support to the mission. There are times that spouses that the "Hardest job in the *insert branch here*" line a bit to far.

Response by COL Jason Smallfield, PMP, CFM, CM made Dec 15 at 2014 12:18 PM

2014-12-15T12:18:04-05:00

Spouse importance and affect on mission accomplishment:
- Varies for each service member and couple.
- Can range from very important and mission essential to not important and a mission distractor.
- Goes to personal and professional balance. Everyone at some point either self selects out of the military or is told to leave. The time to think about the personal side is at the beginning of the military experience and not at the end.
- On the flip side, I have seen some military spouses "wear their spouses rank". It is important to understand that spouses are not in the military, do not have a rank, and do not speak for the command. Rank and experience are two different things. A senior military member's spouse does have a lot of experience which should not be discounted.
- I disagree that the military does not truly honor our spouses as much as they should. I think the military does what it can to recognize and reward spouse contributions to successful mission accomplishment.

Response by 1SG Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 1:13 PM

2014-12-15T13:13:22-05:00

MSgt McDow,

My spouses is very inportant to me BUT while on deployment I have to little to none to do with her or my kids.

V/r
1SG Haro

Response by MSG Scott McBride made Dec 15 at 2014 1:25 PM

2014-12-15T13:25:21-05:00

If a trooper is married, A good spouse is critical to morale. They have a very tough job when we are away.

Response by SGT Kristin Wiley made Dec 15 at 2014 1:33 PM

2014-12-15T13:33:53-05:00

As a single soldier, the only thing I can say is that many spouses cause unneccesary drama in the ranks. At my last command, single soldiers were tasked with more duties, so married ones could go home to their spouses. While I agree they need to spend time with their families, it doesn't need to be at someone else's expense. Most barrack policies do not allow opposite guest visitors, unit/family functions don't allow a soldier's bf/gf at many events, and now our dating pool is limited. E1-E4 can only date each other, E5-E9 can only date each other, and officers can only date each other (or civilians). The Army seems very motivated to keep me working more because I don't have a spouse, and keeping me from ever getting a spouse. For those with spouses that are loyal and faithful I'm sure it makes a world of difference, but coming home after a deployment and watching 50% of my unit get a divorced it seems like spouses hinder more then help. This is just my personal observation.

Response by Sgt Adam Jennings made Dec 15 at 2014 2:41 PM

2014-12-15T14:41:28-05:00

Had it not been for my wife Jess I would have been in trouble a lot. She helped me to keep a cool head in a crappy command therefore keeping my NCO rank, lol. It's a red head thing, hot temper. To my credit though, I typically was mad about command decisions that negatively affected my Marines.

Response by SPC David S. made Dec 15 at 2014 2:39 PM

2014-12-15T14:39:29-05:00

Having neighbors down the street, both ring knockers from West Point, this question could be how important is the non-deployed spouse. Having grown up as a brat with my father gone for extended periods of time, my mother kept good order and discipline intact. I certainly think that having a family could be a double edge sword with one side limiting the amount of risk an individual is willing to take on vs having an environment well suited for raising children. Personally I feel I would be a much better soldier without a wife or kids as there is no one left hanging if I get it wrong. As I also had a friend who was SF and KIA his wife is the one left with 2 kids to raise. The stress and crap that a military spouses has to deal with and yet still wakes up everyday to do it all again I think takes a very special individual. Not the life for just anyone. My mother was a rock star in my opinion.

Response by CH (CPT) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 10:23 PM

2014-12-15T22:23:17-05:00

I am a firm believer in "strong families make strong Soldiers."

A spouse can be invaluable to a Servicemember's success in the military.

A bad spouse, can be a deal-breaker and a detriment to the Servicemember.

The military is difficult on family units, but it isn't impossible to have a healthy military family.

Our spouses and the health of our families are incredibly important to overall mission success.

Response by PO2 Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 15 at 2014 11:02 PM

2014-12-15T23:02:40-05:00

My spouse is an integral part of my career. Being mil to mil aside, the choices I make have a solid foundation in my home life. Battles need to be chosen more carefully for the sake of my family and what is best for them. Having that support can be very empowering as well. It motivates you to succeed and seek out that success with fervor.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 16 at 2014 3:35 AM

2014-12-16T03:35:35-05:00

All I can say is I'm glad she was beside me all these years. And that I had someone to pick me up when I was down.

Response by 1SG Eric Rice made Dec 16 at 2014 9:26 AM

2014-12-16T09:26:10-05:00

Spouses are extremely important and are crucial to mission accomplishment. If a service member's souse is going through tough times that tends to rub off on the service member. There must be a strong foundation built so that the service member has minimal worries. As leaders we must take a holistic approach to taking care of not only the service member but also the families.

Response by SSG(P) Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 16 at 2014 1:23 PM

2014-12-16T13:23:40-05:00

I think they serve almost as much as we do, sometimes....and they deserve recognition. I try to honor my wife as much as possible, because my military duties often interfere with my capabilities to run the home. So, I am reliant on her to complete the mission that I cannot.

Response by COL Jean (John) F. B. made Dec 16 at 2014 2:09 PM

2014-12-16T14:09:10-05:00

Military spouses are special. They "keep the home fires burning" through family separations, multiple moves, and all the hardships that come with military life.

My wife was the consummate military wife. She was (and still is) my partner, the mother of my children, and the leader of my unit family support groups during multiple deployments. She was always there for those in need and considered the families of personnel assigned to my units as members of our family.

Response by MSgt Private RallyPoint Member made Dec 16 at 2014 8:53 PM

2014-12-16T20:53:55-05:00

My wife is probably the biggest reason that they gained a TSgt in 09 and a MSgt in 13. She has been the one pushing me to keep furthering my career. Don't get me wrong it hasn't been only her but the fact that she supported everthing I did that helped me make rank contributed a lot to my rapid promotions. Additionally if it werent for her I would have gotten out a long time ago.

Response by MAJ Robert (Bob) Petrarca made Dec 18 at 2014 12:13 PM

2014-12-18T12:13:55-05:00

We are first and foremost American men and women. Those of us that choose to have a spouse and/or children is part of our being. Having chosen that path in life, a healthy marital and family life is part of one's career well being and will have great impact on one's ability to function.

Response by SFC Mark Merino made Dec 18 at 2014 3:45 PM

2014-12-18T15:45:44-05:00

Spouses are essentially career makers and career breakers. HH6 can weild incredible influences of mission accomplishment, both good and bad. We knew plenty of great service members over our careers who went down in flames because the spouse ruined things. We know many excellent leaders whose spouse doesn't get nearly enough credit! Pray that you have a great one.

Response by CMSgt James Nolan made Dec 18 at 2014 9:17 PM

2014-12-18T21:17:35-05:00

Essential.

If troop has crummy home life, work will suffer.
If troop is constantly worrying about sloppy homelife, work will suffer
If troop stops caring about homelife, spouse will kick to curb and work will suffer

I would say Essential.

Response by CSM Frank Graham made Dec 19 at 2014 7:21 AM

2014-12-19T07:21:56-05:00

Spouses are extremely important when supporting his or her spouse. A Happy family makes a happy spouse. When a family is taken care of the service member will be a more productive person in your organization and a happier person in your organization. He or she is willing to go to hell and back for his or her organization and country. When a service member does not get the support needed from his or her spouse then there more likley chances for problems at the work place. Good spouses can also encourage their other have to do better at work and push them to take on more responsibility. Also a good spouse all business affairs in order so that the service member can go to daily duty and deploy if necessary to fight our Nations Wars without worry. Spouses can lift up a member when he or she is down. Spouses can do a wide variety of things that help us all. Spouses are one of the most important people we have in our lives. Respect them and honor them in every way we can. They give up a lot for us all. Cherish them.

Response by SSG Jose M. Hernandezsanchez made Feb 26 at 2018 9:56 AM

2018-02-26T09:56:38-05:00

SMSgt McDow,
Oh my! Very important. I went through several deployments, many TDYs, was an instructor and we still managed to keep it together. My spouse didn't come from a military family but supports it 100%. I believe spouses, men or women are a vital part on the unit's readiness and accomplishment. It doesn't matter how hard we try to keep our business out of the workplace, it will eventually show. I've known service members that didn't even make it through one deployment without getting divorce afterwards. My spouse was not too flexible when it came to move around, but she was open minded. I know she went through hell dealing with my deployments so, I try to be as open minded now as she was years ago.